starmark2k Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 O.K we're all geeks here so lets tell our geekiest jokes. What did the jedi say to the astronaught May the force be with you (i didn't say they had to be funny)
Darth333 Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Quote Originally posted by starmark2k (i didn't say they had to be funny) ah! I was wondering Is windowze a Virus? ...and the Geek way of finding geek jokes
Boba Rhett Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken!
ChAiNz.2da Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Don't forget the ever popular, seen WAY too many times in signature lines (insert evil thought here): There are only 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary jokes, and those who don't.
90SK Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Quote Originally posted by ChAiNz Don't forget the ever popular, seen WAY too many times in signature lines (insert evil thought here): There are only 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary jokes, and those who don't. Man, you just ruined my day.
Shok_Tinoktin Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Here is a semi-geeky joke: What is the difference between a civil engineer and a mechanical engineer? Reveal hidden contents Mechanical engineers make weapons, civil engineers make targets Another one: The three ways to tell if you should be an engineer: 1. You know how to use all the buttons on your calculator. 2. You know your height in nanometers. 3. You assume a horse to be a sphere to make the calculation easier.
Amezaroth Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Quote Originally posted by Darth333 ah! I was wondering Is windowze a Virus? lmao, that was too hilarious... Now drum roll please What is the difference between a terrorist and a engineer? Reveal hidden contents You can negotiate with a terrorist, well at least if you live outside the USA... please dont kill me
stingerhs Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 whats with the engineer jokes??? thats what i'm studying to be at the moment.... anyway, i've got a little story for ya: a man was driving down a road situated in the middle of a massive field. he was about to pass a farmer's house, so he took a brief glance at it as he approached. it was the only building that he could see for miles around, and an old farmer was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. he waived to the farmer and then looked back to the road, only to see a small rabbit jump out in front of his car. before he could even touch his brakes, *bum-bump*. he had run over the rabbit. the man immidiately pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. he got out of his car and went to go look at the rabbit. he bent down and peered at the rabbit. suddenly, he had an idea. he ran back to his car and started rummaging through his things. the farmer had been watching the whole time and stood up when he saw the man rummaging through the stuff. he stepped off his porch and walked over to the man's car. the man found a small bottle and then ran back over to the rabbit. he unscrewed the lid and slowly poured something on the dying rabbit. the man then put the cap back on and calmly walked over to his car. as he placed the bottle back in the car, the farmer just stared at him curiously, then looked back towards the rabbit. suddenly, the rabbit jumped up. it stood up on its hind legs and began to wave one of its front paws. the farmer immidiately did a double take back towards the man. the man was smiling at the rabbit. the man then turned and opened the door to his car. "What on earth did ya put on dat rabbit?" the farmer asked. the man looked at him and said, "Oh, it was just a little something I picked up at the store today. It was just some Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
Boba Rhett Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 What kind? Glorified electrical engi- I mean, computer engineer? Me too. Engineer jokes are some of the best jokes.
Shok_Tinoktin Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Quote Originally posted by stingerhs whats with the engineer jokes??? thats what i'm studying to be at the moment.... Me too, thats why I have them.
Darth333 Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Quote Originally posted by Boba Rhett Engineer jokes are some of the best jokes. Nothing beats lawyers for jokes here are some classic engineer - lawyer jokes Quote There are three guys all with different professions, and they are arguing over which job was the oldest. There were a doctor, an engineer, and a lawyer. The doctor says, "Well, God took a rib out of Adam, and therefore he was a doctor." Then, the engineer says, "Yeah, well, way before that, out of all the chaos, God created the universe, and therefore he was an engineer." Finally, the lawyer says, "Well, who created the chaos?" Quote An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place." So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
ChAiNz.2da Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 yeah! what's wrong with Electrical Engineers...we're people too...err...did I say 'we'...ummm... Although I have to say I have some of the kewlest tools to play with after getting that degree... now If I could just remember what all of these 'squiggly' lines on my schematics mean...
RedHawke Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Quote Originally posted by ChAiNz now If I could just remember what all of these 'squiggly' lines on my schematics mean... I think it means your vision has blurred and you probably have had too much to drink!
starmark2k Posted December 1, 2004 Author Posted December 1, 2004 1)Why don't they install windows XP on planes Because it keeps crashing 2)what dose a bell and benzoic acid have in common They both ring (you proberly need a higher education award in chemistry to get that 1)
PoM Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 *waiting for someone to say that mandalorian joke from kotor* *Hint hint*
ChAiNz.2da Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Quote Originally posted by RedHawke I think it means your vision has blurred and you probably have had too much to drink! @RedHawke ::OFF TOPIC...sorta:: Well I wasn't yesterday, but today I might have to. Remind me next time I goto Michigan to whip someone's arse Some 'brilliant' so-called mechanic put green antifreeze in my dex-cool only cooling system. In a not-so-engineery type term...green + dex-cool = semi-solid goop which also equals $888.32 repair work for new water pump & radiator... Where's my beer? Serenity now... -------------------- @Piece of metal I can't remember exactly how the Mandalorian joke went, BUT what I found funnier in the game is if you have Zalbaar with you in the party when you 'tell the joke'...his response just made me laugh like crazy for some goofy reason (I have an odd sense of humor...it's the small things that get me )
Venom750 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Venom750 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4 way stop. What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.
ChAiNz.2da Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 What do you call a blonde(s) with an uber-BAN Button? I'll make it multiple choice: 1) Moderator 2) Moderator 3) Moderator hmmmm... (j/k)
Darth333 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Quote Originally posted by ChAiNz What do you call a blonde(s) with an uber-BAN Button? I'll make it multiple choice: 1) Moderator 2) Moderator 3) Moderator hmmmm... (j/k) and How do you call an engineer who posts jokes like this? Reveal hidden contents ...a good test subject for the uber-BAN Button (j/k)
starmark2k Posted December 2, 2004 Author Posted December 2, 2004 ^^^ What do you call a blond who been reading posts like the 4 above P****d off (Try to keep the jokes geeky guys)
Venom750 Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 Well if your goner try and ban me for a few jokes how petti are YOU
Darth333 Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 Hey, let's keep it friendly (and less vulgar)!
ChAiNz.2da Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 Ummm..okay before everything gets way out of control here. The whole "ban" thing was a joke?...you know..haha funny (j/k=just kidding) There's no 'ban-happy' moderators here. It's called a "playful exchange"...geesh.. I respectively retract the whole "Ban" thing. Lighten up peoples. Can we get back to the jokes? (sorry Darth333 for the whole mess) TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM 9.9999973251 -It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug 8.9999163362 -It's Close Enough, We Say So 7.9999414610 -Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes 6.9999831538 -You Don't Need to Know What's Inside 5.9999835137 -Redefining the PC--and Mathematics As Well 4.9999999021 -We Fixed It, Really 3.9998245917 -Division Considered Harmful 2.9991523619 -Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point? 1.9999103517 -We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws 0.9999999998 -The Errata Inside
tk102 Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 Straight out of college I knew I was brainwashed when I found myself considering the differential equation required to calculate the amount of time to barbecue my steak so that the inside would reach 150°F. (Is it a cylinder or rectangle?) Now I would just write a computer program instead. What an improvement. And Chainz, I own that shirt.
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