BongoBob Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 That's right, it's that time again. Post the greatest quotes from movies, games, history, whatever, as long as it's a good quote or it's funny, just post it (The swamp needs a bit more humor I think). I'll start off with some quotes by some comedian who I don't know... "You know what I hate about resturaunts. They call out peoples names only 3 times. 'Johnson, party of five. Johnson, party of five. Johnson, party of five.' Then they jyust casually move on. 'Rick, party of 4, rick, party of 4.' WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JOHNSONS!?! THE JOHNOSNS ARE BOUND, GAGGED, AND LOCKED IN A TRUNK! AND THEY'RE HUNGRY!" "I believe, if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then find someone whos life is giving them vokda, and have a party." - Ron White - Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again "I used to live in hollywood, so I took a script to a movie company and they said I needed to rewrite it. I said f*** that, I'll just make a copy." - Some random comidian "There were horsies, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident" - Brick - Anchorman Ron:"There's only one thing a man can do when he's in a spiritually downtrodden and existential funk." Champ:"Go to the zoo, flip off the monkies?" - Anchorman Come on now swampies, spread the fun around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukeiamyourdad Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "All your base are belong to us" nuff said. You can kill me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET Warrior Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 @BongoBob: your first and third quotes are from comedian Mitch Hedberg...so ya know As for a quote...lesseee here... "The good die young, and pricks, live FOREVER. So, if you want to increase your longevity, if you ever see some kids across the street, run outside and yell "GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE *****" and it'll be just like taking vitamins." ~Lewis Black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by ET Warrior @BongoBob: your first and third quotes are from comedian Mitch Hedberg...so ya know THANK YOU ET! That was driving me nuts for a long time. That guys my freakin hero XD "As the years passed, Walt Disneys hunger for cuban children grew..." - Robot Chicken "We take a lot of things for granted [in the US], like we take for granted the fact that we can go to a nightclub and look at chickes with 2 and a half inch skirts, and stare at them long enough until they go 'WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!!' YOUR VAGINA!" -Another random comedian. "We use a lot of prases today that we don't even get. I work in show biz so I get people saying 'Break a leg' alot. I hope you rubture a spleen, jackass! 'He's on the lamb!' SOMEBODY GET HIM A GIRLFRIEND QUICK! 'I don't give a rats ass' I DON'T WANNA RECIEVE A RATS ASS!" - Another random comedian I watch comedy central alot and I never remember the names. *searches WinMX for Mitch Hedberg* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Windu Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Good thing these guys aren't lumberjacks! No joke! The only thing safe in the forest would be the trees! ~Donatello and Michaelangelo, TMNT I am proud of you, my sons. Tonight you have learned the final and greatest truth of the Ninja that ultimate mastering comes not from the body but from the mind. Together, there is nothing your four minds cannot accomplish. Help each other, draw upon one another and always remember the power that binds you. The same is what brought me here tonight that which I gladly return with my final words, I love you all my sons. ~ Splinter, TMNT Coach Boone: Are your parents here? Bertier: Yes. Coach Boone: Good. Coach Boone: You take one last good look at her. Cause once you step on that bus you aint got your mama anymore. You got your brothers and you got your daddy. You know who your daddy is, doncha? Gary, if you want to play on this football team, you answer me when I ask you who is your daddy? Who's your daddy, Gary? Who's your daddy? Bertier: You. Coach Boone: And who's team is this, Gary?Is this your team? Or is this your daddy's team? Bertier: Yours. Coach Boone: Now get on the bus. Put on your jacket first and get on the bus. ~ Remember the Titans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nalukai Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "Sometimes you just gotta say... 'wtf'...." Curtis Armstrong(Booger) --- Risky Business "I like sex the old fashioned way... swingin from the chandellier." Roosevelt in post-Polio speech. "Buy the ticket, Take the ride..." - Hunter S "All of those lucky enough to have their lives- take them with you. However, leave the limbs you have lsot... they belong to me now." Beatrix Kiddo " The possesions you own end up owning you." - Tyler Durden "It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas and half a pack of cigarettes. It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it. " - blues brothers "but Ford we just wanted to be held....." " You got tha bonus plan..." Ford Fairlane "Today is the last day of the rest of your life.." Tone Loc "ford fairlane" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!" "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college..." (quote of something a woman once said that he overheard while at IHOP) "While I was in Miami, they stole my rental car, because apparently, they didn't have enough time to load up a gun and shoot me. On the street, there was a Lexus, a BMW, and my car. The rental car. The Plymouth....Horizon. Here's a math question for you, don't ponder it too long or your head'll explode, but how many drugs would you have to consume, in what to pediod of time, to see a Lexus, and a BMW, and go, '...........................Well, I g-gotta have the Horizon! Are you kidding me, I've never driven a car that's aqua!' So I called the police, I told them, 'They've stolen my rental car, a Plymouth horizon.' And the officer said, 'They mush have taken it for a joyride.' 'Hey. I don't think you're listening, asshole. The car is a Plymouth....HORIZON! It is not a joy - to ride!' We're talking about a car that goes 45 miles per hour WITH THE WIND! If you turn off the air conditioning and supercharge the little mother****er, you might be able to get it to 48." Lewis Black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Windu Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "That naive cube." ~ Plankton ManRay: Excuse me sir, but I believe you dropped your wallet. Patrick: It doesn't look familiar to me. ManRay: What? But I just saw you drop it. I am trying to be a good citizen, and return it to you. Patrick: Return what to who? ManRay: [Reaching into the wallet and pulling out Patrick's I. D] Are you a Mr. Patrick Star? Patrick: Yep. ManRay: And this is your I. D. Patrick: Yep. ManRay: And I found it in this wallet, and therefore, this must be your wallet. Patrick: Makes sense to me. ManRay: So, take it. Patrick: It's not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "I think it's weird how "Finger puppets" sounds ok as a noun." "In retrospect, my 7th grade plan of accumulating as much knowledge about LOTR and Star Wars as a way to meet girls...probably not the best idea." "The quoter has many words but little wisdom" And now for some of Mitch, "I like to have a loose collar. I can't wear shirts with a tight collar because my neck is sensitive. I could never wear a turtleneck. It's like being strangled by a really weak guy. And if you're wearing a backpack and a turtleneck it's like a weak midget is trying to bring you down." "I think frogs are a better mascot. I have never said "here comes that frog" in a horrifying manner. Its always, "here comes that frog. Fantastic." "I once saw a human pyramid. It was completely unneccesary." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 "If I could be a superhero, I would justice guy, makin sure people get what they deserve, especially women who lie, like if a wife left her husband with a three kids and a job, to run off to f*n hawaii with some doctor named bob, I would skin them and drain them of blood so they die, especially bob, then you would be justice guy. Oh you don't have to be subtle, I didn't mean to be vague, give her the mad cow disease, let him die of the plague, as long as they suffer for there terrible lies, especially bob, then you would be justice guy." - Stephyn Lynch - Superhero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle. Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team! Brian: What the hell are you talking about? Family Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tags Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 chief: If life hands you a pile of potatoes, make potato salad. Mona: Well life handed me a whole pile of SH*T! What am I supposed to make with that!? Mr.Dearly: SH*T SALAD!? ~~Drowning Mona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "You know you're a redneck when..." and "Here's your sign." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET Warrior Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by BongoBob "If I could be a superhero ... If I could be a superhero, I'd be immigration dude. I'd round up the foreigners and send them back home, for eating up all of our food. And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot, like landscaping laundery, picking our fruit. I'd send them all away to get rid of their brood....'cuz I'd be immigration dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derc Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "Make me feel it! Make me feel alive again!" ~Ninja, MGS "I was born on a battlefield. Raised on a battlefield. Gunfire, sirens and screams... they were my lullabies... Hunted like dogs day after day... driven from our ragged shelters... That... was my life. Each morning, I'd wake up... and find a few more of my family or friends dead beside me. I'd stare at the morning sun...and pray to make it through the day. The governments of the world turned a blind eye to our misery. But then... he appeared. My hero... Saladin... he took me away from all that..." ~Sniper Wolf, MGS "Don't treat your cardboard box like just another box. Treat it with love, okay?" ~Iroquois Pliskin, MGS2 "As long as we have 'loyalty to the end'. there's no point in believing in anything... even in those we love." ~The Boss, MGS3 "Every story must have an ending." ~Auron, FFX "If the Force is life, how can there be life without the Force?" ~Vergere, Traitor Peter: Hey Brian look there's a message in my alpha-bits. It says "ooooooooooo." Brian: *looks* Peter those are Cherios. ~Family Guy Chris: Hey little dude you want some ice cream? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles!!! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you. ~Family Guy "Just when you think you hit rock bottom, you pull out a shovel..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narfblat Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "You're drunk!" "I'm drunk, and you're ugly. In the morning I'll be sober." ~ Winston Churchill. (thanks for telling me who said it, Doomie) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "Oh my GOD! Somebody put sh*t in my pants!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomie Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Off the top of my head, i can only think of this: 'Oh, you're the king? Well, I didn't vote for you!' - Some peasant in Monty Python and the holy grail. And Narfblat, that qoute's from Churchill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BawBag™ Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 "Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." "Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Pie™ "Oh my GOD! Somebody put sh*t in my pants!" \o/ I love Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by InsaneSith \o/ I love Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. *sodomizes* [edit] "I am gonna fly into your butt! Prepare all asses for vicious entry!!" "Spank my ass and call me Debbie!! Dare not defy my commands! These hands!! I can't get them off my wrists!! Oh, god!!" "No! Don't leave me, intestinal gass! Please! Don't go! I thought you loved me!!" "You f*cking toaster!! You're nothing! That's all you'll ever be! A toaster!! Damn! I have no Kiwis!!" "Make him die, daddy!" >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Knight of Keno Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Ehem... *Points at sig* I'm dry from quotes at the moment... How sad, ain't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Darth Tepe Ehem... *Points at sig* I'm dry from quotes at the moment... How sad, ain't it? Weren't those quotes both used in Operation Flashpoint? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Knight of Keno Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Pie™ Weren't those quotes both used in Operation Flashpoint? How should I know? I've never played, and most propably never will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 I've always liked this war quote. "Heroes don't win wars, they merely survive them." Forgot who said it, but theres a nice collection of war quotes in Rome: Total War. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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