Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Hello all, this is going to be a small Fic based on my Character from the RP Mercenary Crew III: Separatist Scum by starmark2k. I hope this is going to be good and I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to get the first Chapter up as soon as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter I New Life ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My name is Trando Shan. Some may think that is a strange name for a man whose name was named after the name of his species. Confusing isn’t it? Well, too be honest, having a name like that made me feel more special than any of the other Trandoshans. I’m a doctor, who helps people in need. Although I’m not always mr-nice-guy. I can be very evil. Many nickname me Doctor Death, for that was what many of the Trandoshans called me, after I’d left Trandosha. For me it isn’t a bad name. More of a compliment. I’ve been exiled from my homeworld of Trandosha, after killing my father for the medical centre. Unfortunately, a local group of Trandoshans had found out and had called the Trandoshan security. I was arrested. I spend several days, under protection from the Trandoshan security, until I had a trial. For the next day. My trial could’ve been better, I’d have to admit. There was no way, I could’ve won that trial. The local group of Trandoshans had won the trial and were given over thousand Credits for finding a local killer. Me. For my crime, I was exiled and I was never allowed to return. For if I was, the consequences could be death. I certainly didn’t want to die at my young age of thirty-one. As I left the courts with everyone shouting and screaming as I left, I knew that nobody was going to help me leave. Luckily I had a contact from Naboo and he had several ships from Naboo. I payed him all I had and I left. Forever. Trando Shan, 22 BBY ***** The ship Trando was in was a small Naboo Starfighter. Unlike most Naboo Starfighters, this one was battered and unlike its usual golden colour on the outside, this had a dull silver colour. Trando didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact he had escaped Trandosha alive. The only thing that worried him now was what he was going to do now. Could he get another job as a doctor? The only problem being the fact with his criminal record, which would haunt him for the rest of his life. Perhaps he could get another job. Everyone should be able to have a second chance. Then again, would Trando’s crime allow him to have a second chance? He would soon find out. Trando’s ship approached the small Planet of Naboo. ***** It was a very busy midday on Naboo. Many of the citizens were busy with their daily lives and the current Queen of Naboo was overlooking the entire city of Naboo. This particular city was Theed. Theed had been ravaged by war ten years ago. It was known as the Battle of Naboo. As Trando landed in the main hangar of Theed, he knew he had to find a job. Whether it was as a doctor or anything else, Trando knew he needed the money. He got out of his Naboo Starfighter and was about leave when someone stopped him. “Have you paid for a landing permit?” A security guard asked. “What?” Trando asked, confused, because he didn’t think Naboo was that worried about who come and go. “Because of the war that happened ten years ago, our new Queen has decided to make everyone who comes to Naboo, must have a landing permit, which costs two hundred and fifty Credits.” The security guard told Trando. “And what if I don’t want to pay anything?” Trando asked. “Then I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.” The security guard told Trando, “So what will it be? Pay or leave?” Trando reached into his belt and took out two hundred and fifty Credits. That was half of his Credits gone. “Thank you very much,” The security told Trando, “Have a nice time.” Trando snatched the landing permit off the security guard and left the hangar. First stop was the local job centre. ***** After a long walk through the busy streets, Trando soon arrived at the job centre. Luckily, there was nobody in the waiting list. Trando didn’t have to wait long and he was soon called in, by one of the ladies who worked at the job centre. “Please sit down.” The lady told Trando. Trando sat down and the lady was soon asking him many questions. Most of them were to do with his past. Trando knew that telling her about his recent crime would risk his chances of getting a job on Naboo. “So have you had any previous job?” The lady asked Trando. “Well I was a doctor on my homeworld of Trandosha.” Trando told her. “So what happened?” The lady asked Trando. Here it was. What to tell her. Should he lie? Should he tell her the truth? Or should he just say he had never had a job? “I was…” Trando started, “Replaced.” “Replaced?” The lady asked, “Why?” “He was better than me in every way,” Trando told her, “And that is all I will say.” “I think there is something you’re not telling me.” The lady told Trando. “You’re right!” A voice shouted from behind. Trando turned around. It was one of the Humans who had been at Trando’s trial. Trando didn’t know who he was, but Trando knew that there was something dodgy about him. “He killed his father on Trandosha, because he was jealous of his position in the medical centre.” The Human told the lady. “I’m sorry, you’re not what we’re looking for.” The lady told Trando and she left the room. Trando felt really angry and grabbed the other Human by his collar. Why was he here? Was he trying to make Trando’s life even harder? “I don’t know who you are, but what are you doing?” Trando asked, with a tone of anger in his voice. “I know who you are, Doctor Death!” The Human spat, “I’m Vosk Row and I’m a local mercenary. Theed isn’t the greatest place for money now and with you being jobless, I suggest you get a job on Nar Shaddaa.” “Why?” Trando asked. “A life of a mercenary is an entertaining job,” Vosk told Trando, “This is where the true money making lies.” Trando loosened his grip and let go of Vosk. “Take me to Nar Shaddaa,” Trando told Vosk, “I might be interested.” “I know you would, Doctor Death,” Vosk told Trando, “You won’t need that landing permit anymore. My ship is hidden in the swamps.” Trando followed Vosk and knew that this could be a turning point in his life. He felt excited. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned for Chapter II A Rocky Start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 this is really good pottsie hope you finish it this time:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 this is really good pottsie hope you finish it this time:D Yeah, so do I. I hope to do something with a created Character and not one from any of the Games, Movies, etc. If there is anyone from the Games, etc, they will only have cameos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasraLantill Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Not bad, not bad at all! I just had to laugh though at the 'Trando at the JobCentre' scene. If he had signed on where I live, he'd been waiting a long time without an appointment. Keep this going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 Not bad, not bad at all! I just had to laugh though at the 'Trando at the JobCentre' scene. If he had signed on where I live, he'd been waiting a long time without an appointment. Keep this going! Thanks very much Jasra. Hidden Shades of Grey is good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 no offense, pottsie, but this is quite a 'rocky start'. i would have expected a lady to shriek like a little girl when she found out that the guy she was going to employ was a murderer. i spotted a couple of minor typos, but those can be fixed. just give it a good read-through. i hope to see more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Women don't all 'shriek' when confronted with something like that. I'd get the heck out of there just like she did. I was kind of surprised that they exiled a killer instead of locking him up or executing him, because he could always come back in disguise and kill more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 19, 2006 Author Share Posted August 19, 2006 To answer both questions, like the Jedi, the Trandoshans decided to give Trando a second chance and they took all his dodgy weapons off him. Trando isn't a murderer. The only reason he murdered his father (Who owned the medical centre) was because he wanted to own the medical centre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediAthos Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 The court system regrets to inform you that murder, for whatever reason, is still murder. That said I like it Pottsie. Interesting that you would pick a Transdoshan. Do you find it harder to write than say a human character? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Interesting start, Im looking forward to seeing more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 The court system regrets to inform you that murder, for whatever reason, is still murder. That said I like it Pottsie. Interesting that you would pick a Transdoshan. Do you find it harder to write than say a human character? Yes, because Humans are easier to describe and since I hardly have any knowledge of Trandoshans, this makes it harder. Thanks for all your comments. I'll try to get the second Chapter soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 I'm currently in the process of writing the second Chapter, but I doubt this Fic will be as long as my other two Fics. More updates soon. Oh and Vosk is no longer Trandoshan, he is now Human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I'll be interested in seeing where you go with him. No worries if it's short or long. As long as you're enjoying writing it, we'll be here reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I just read the first chapter and it was really good, will Trando join the Exchange? Only time will tell i guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick5770 Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 This looks pretty good. I look forward to reading chapter 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 Here's Chapter II. Sorry if it is disappointing, but I haven't been online recently. I'd also like to thank starmark2k, for letting me mention his RP Character, K'Nala in the beginning of this Chapter. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter II A Rocky Start ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Above Nar Shaddaa, there was a large flagship. This flagship belonged to the former Jedi, Count Dooku. He was now known as Darth Tyranus, which he had adopted as his Sith title in true Sith tradition. His master Darth Sidious was looking out at Nar Shaddaa. He had something in his mind and he needed his Tyranus to do his bidding. Tyranus bowed to Sidious. Sidious turned his chair around to see Tyranus. “Good evening Lord Tyranus,” Sidious told Tyranus, “It is time to put our plan into motion.” “And what is that my lord?” Tyranus asked, thinking that he had done everything he needed to do. “I need you to find several mercenaries,” Sidious told Tyranus, “They could be an asset to us.” “My new apprentice, K’Nala will see to it personally my lord…” “No!” Sidious snapped, “This is something I want you to do. Young K’Nala will prove herself sometime, but not now.” “Yes my lord,” Tyranus said, “Now if you don’t mind, I shall retire to my chambers.” Tyranus stood and left. Sidious returned his gaze to the window. ***** Vosk’s ship, known as the Venom was approaching Nar Shaddaa. Trando could see a large flagship, over Nar Shaddaa. “Hey Vosk, is that normal?” Trando asked. Vosk stopped the Venom and looked out the window. “I don’t think so,” He told Trando, “It’s not normal to see a flagship that is half the size of Coruscant orbiting Nar Shaddaa.” “Should we take a look?” Trando asked. “Nah,” Vosk told Trando, “No point. It’s probably some flagship the Republic has sent. We should get to Nar Shaddaa.” Vosk returned to control the Venom, but Trando knew that something was going on. Whatever that was, it wasn’t good. ***** Nar Shaddaa was one of the overpopulated Planets in the entire Galaxy. It was also a place where Mercenaries, Bounty Hunters and former Jedi come. Many have described Nar Shaddaa as the darker version of Coruscant. As the Venom landed, Trando could see why. Unlike his holiday to Coruscant with his father years ago, Nar Shaddaa didn’t look like the friendliest place in the Galaxy. Many people had watched the Venom land on an empty starpad. Vosk got out and Trando followed. “Hey!” A voice shouted. Trando turned around to see a Toydarian flying towards them. As soon as the Toydarian approached them, he started scolding both Trando and Vosk. “I’ve got another ship docking in an hour or two,” He told Trando and Vosk, “So get off!” “Oh come on Racil,” Vosk complained, shoving two hundred Credits in the Toydarian’s face, “How about a favour?” Racil snatched the Credits of Vosk and continued to speak. “Oh alright, Vosk, but you need to make it up to me,” He told Vosk, “What am I going to tell the Red Eclipse?” The Red Eclipse? How could they still be around? Trando could remember his father telling him stories about the gang, the Red Eclipse that had existed over four thousand years ago. It was impossible. Unless… “Are these the same Red Eclipse that had four thousand years ago?” Trando asked. “Ha!” Racil laughed, “This kid thinks the Red Eclipse existed four thousand years ago?” “There was never any group called Red Eclipse then.” Vosk told Trando. “No, this is a newly reformed group that are around Nar Shaddaa. They are mostly led by Trandoshans, Rodians, even Humans have joined them,” Racil told Trando, “Now go, before I decide to kick you off Nar Shaddaa.” Vosk shrugged and walked past Racil. Trando followed from behind. Many people stopped and stared at both Trando and Vosk. They were mainly looking at Trando, because they had never seen him before. Nobody dared to attack Trando, because Vosk was with him. If Trando were here alone, he would have been dead for sure. ***** After several minutes of walking through busy streets and alleyways, Vosk had led Trando to a quiet alleyway. Vosk was opening a small apartment door. “Hey Vosk, what is that smell?” Trando asked, squeezing his nose to block the smell. “That my friend is the beautiful smell of old rubbish and old booze from the cantinas.” He told Trando. “Yeah, no wonder anybody comes here.” Trando told Vosk. “Hey!” Vosk shouted, “To me, this is our group’s perfume. Don’t worry, you’ll soon cry out to smell it.” “I hope I don’t.” Trando muttered under his breath. A click sounded in the door and it immediately opened. “Welcome to home sweet home.” Vosk told Trando. Vosk walked into the darkness of the old apartment. Trando followed. It was strange that there weren’t any lights inside. Soon Vosk opened another door, which looked like it was rotting and he opened it. As soon as he opened it, the door fell off its hinges. “Who’s there?” A creepy voice asked. A light turned on and a Trandoshan and Rodian greeted them. The Trandoshan was holding a blaster rifle and the Rodian was holding a long thin bat. “Guys it’s just me and a friend.” Vosk told them. “A friend?” The Rodian asked, “We Rodians don’t like friends.” Strange, Trando thought, it wasn’t common for a Rodian to be speaking Galactic Basic. Even most Trandoshans never spoke Galactic Basic. “This is Trando Shan, the one who murdered his father,” Vosk continued, “Trando, the Rodian is Grod Frour and the Trandoshan here is Gunnick Shan.” “Gunnick?” Trando asked, “Is that really you?” “Trando,” Gunnick mumbled, “I didn’t expect to see you ever again.” “Hold on a minute, you guys know each other?” Grod asked. “Yeah,” Gunnick told him, “This is my younger brother.” Gunnick hadn’t changed. He was still the beat-up, thirty-five year old Trandoshan, who had a scar over his left eye. He was quite tall, for he was a lot taller than Trando. Trando suddenly felt angry and pushed Gunnick against the wall. “Why?” Trando asked angrily, “Why did you abandon father and I?” “I never abandoned my family,” Gunnick told Trando, “I was taken by mercenaries.” “Who?” Trando asked, “These?” “No,” Gunnick told Trando, “The mercenaries that captured me were much more aggressive than my friends here. They would kill anything on the spot.” Trando let go of Gunnick. “I was four when you abandoned us.” Trando muttered. Gunnick suddenly got out a blaster pistol. He raised it at Trando. Neither Vosk or Grod tried to stop him. “You weren’t much better than me,” Gunnick said angrily, “You killed our father and you were exiled. I might be a traitor to our family, but that is nothing. Nothing! Nothing compared to what you did.” “Kill me then!” Trando shouted. “Listen guys, we have no time for arguing!” Vosk shouted, “Now we should get settled for the night, because we have some business tomorrow.” Gunnick, Vosk and Grod walked away. “What business?” Trando asked. “Sorry little bro,” Gunnick said, “We don’t allow newbies of the Lone Free Mercenaries to join a big plan like this.” “Oh come on,” Trando complained, “You need me and you all know it.” All three stopped and thought for a moment. Perhaps they could use an extra hand on their team. “Okay my brother,” Gunnick said finally, “You can come. But don’t expect any of us to clean up after you.” They all left Trando alone. He guessed he would have to sleep on the rotten bench. Tomorrow would be a big day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned for Chapter III Good old Mercenary business ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Good chapter, interesting seeing Trando have a brother. Hope for more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 good chap pottsie getting even better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 10, 2006 Author Share Posted September 10, 2006 I'm sorry to tell you all this, but this will be finishing with the next Chapter. I will then finish off The Sith Lord Special Edition and then write a Darkness Rising Special Edition. I'll try to get the next Chapter soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 oh well at least your going to finish it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 10, 2006 Author Share Posted September 10, 2006 Just to let you know, this will be the worst ending for a Fic ever. I just can't be bothered to finish this Fic and if I do, it will be a Special Edition. Enjoy the (so-called ending). ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter III Good old Mercenary business ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tomorrow came quicker than expected. Gunnick had forced Trando up by beating him with the tip of a Blaster Pistol. Trando had definitely become annoyed with this and had woken up in a bad mood. As the morning continued, Trando and the others felt moodier. It wasn’t great. “So what do we do first?” Trando asked. “We leave tonight and infiltrate the local cantina.” Gunnick told him. “Yeah, easy.” Grod added. ***** The cantina was a lively place, packed with different species from across the Galaxy. Humans, Rodians, Trandoshans, Wookiees, the lot. A Bith band played their instruments to lighten up the mood and make the guests feel welcome. Trando, Gunnick, Vosk and Grod entered the cantina, looking slightly suspicious to the guests. It was probably because of the equipment they carried. Gunnick went over to the counter and prepared to order the drinks. “Correllian Ales,” He told him, “In clean glasses.” Trando got out the bomb, that he was supposed to put in after the others had finished, but he had heard of Count Dooku’s proposal to join a crew of Mercenaries. Trando set the bomb and left the cantina. From the distance, he watched the fireworks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The End ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 Well, the ending isn't that bad, the newest Mercenary Crew RP is the "Sequel" to this, and also, the fireworks had got to be neat. Good old treacherous Trando. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 10, 2006 Author Share Posted September 10, 2006 Thanks Jason. I had no love writing this, compared to The Sith Lord and even Darkness Rising. I will continue The Sith Lord Special Edition and I will start a Darkness Rising Special Edition. I doubt this will get a Special Edition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 It's hard to write about bad guys and make them the protagonist. It involves building in some redeeming qualities and generally a lot of humor. It's really hard to do that (which is why I won't do a bad guy fic personally--it'd be too much work for me ) The important thing is that you tried a new form. Sometimes, the only way to learn whether or not you like something is to try it out. I loved the 'Corellian Ales--in clean glasses' line. I laughed at that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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