The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[Hallucination]

Granted, but you were crushed by a Chancey at the hospital shortly after birth.

 

I wish there was a legal and safe way to punch babies.

[Sabretooth]

Granted, but it is legalized only after babies are outfitted with people-destroying lasers.

 

I wish I had some sort of VR interface to my computer.

[Rabish Bini]

Granted, but you die from radiowaves.

 

I wish I didn't have any homework,

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but now all you can do is clean sewers for a living.

 

I wish Sabertooth would get himself a girlfriend so he could stop all that masturbating.

[Rabish Bini]

Granted, but he's too shy to get any so he keeps masturbating anyway.

 

I wish that this wish didn't backfire.

[Ctrl Alt Del]

Granted, you wish won't, but I will.

 

I wish we could go back at Sabrez sexuality.

[Sabretooth]

Granted, but Sabre now has a girlfriend - in fact, he has three.

 

I wish there were no Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

[Ztalker]

Granted, they now only appear in relationships in which the man has three girlfriends or more

 

(Double backfire!)

I wish I had a real functional lightsaber (and even a pink one would be cool enough!)

[Marius Fett]

Granted, but you dropped it off a cliff 5 mins after getting it.

 

Now it's broke.

 

I wish I had some chicken.

[Totenkopf]

Here ya go, but due to genetic engineering....it doesn't taste like chicken anymore.

 

I wish dead people would bathe more often.

[Marius Fett]

Granted, but they use YOUR bathtub...

 

While YOU'RE in it...

 

I wish my mother loved me...

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but now she loves you in a way that is forbidden and unnatural.

 

I wish I had the Midas touch, but only for inanimate objects.

[Rev7]

Granted; however, it is for both animate and inamate objects.

 

I wish that I had all of the html codes 'embeded' into my head.

[Ztalker]

Done, but embedded was taken literally as well. Your whole skin of your head is now full of codes, like one giant nerd-tatoo!

 

I wish for the Force Unleashed to hit the PC as well!

[topshot]

Granted. The game disc comes alive and breaks the PC with a baseball bat.

 

 

I wish to see what happens to me in a parallel universe version of Lucasforums.

[Ctrl Alt Del]

Granted, but the latest upgrade on vbulletin erased that universe.

 

I wish I could use bigger signature images.

[Marius Fett]

Granted, but RedHawke killed you...

 

I wish I had a drink...

[Ferc Kast]

Granted, but it's from the Kath Hounds' Watering Urn.

 

I wish I had a custom title...

[Marius Fett]

Granted, but it says Veteran.

 

I wish my laptop had more memory.

[topshot]

Granted. It has more memory, but at the expense of your own life experiences.

 

 

I wish Raptor Jesus existed.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but he bites off your head.

 

I wish I didn't have just one week to catch up on late assignments.

[Ferc Kast]

Granted, but you have just one day to catch up on late assignments.

 

I wish there was a KotOR III being made...

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but it will be released in 2050 on a platform obviously not yet in existence.

 

I wish KOTOR 3 were already out on PC (so that issue could finally be behind us).

[Hallucination]

Granted, but it's a direct port of the Commodore 64 version.

 

I wish that is what she said.

[DarthAve]

Granted but she's lying

 

I wish I wern't going to Freshman Farewell stag.