Surfnshannon Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Okay - time to ask your mom's for me about a wedding question. Alright, I am having my wedding (crosses fingers) in September on a yacht. Well nothing has been set in stone because we need to know our budget etc. Anyway, we brought up the wedding with my MIL (mother in law) to be. Anyways everything was going fine until my fiance fell asleep on the couch and we were alone. Now, we are not very close. Anyways. So I'm online showing her the boat etc. and she brings up maid of honor and etc. So I say I picked my maid of honr - my best friend and 2 bridesmaids' a girl i have been friends with since the 7th grade and my sister. Since our wedding is small I only want a few bridesmaids. Well my MIL goes on to say how much her daughter wants to be in the wedding...as a bridesmaid. I try and say politely that the girls had already been asked. And she insisted I have four. Now here's where you gotta ask your mom's. Is it tradition that the siblings be in the wedding? See I understand my sister being in it, but his sister? I am not really close with her. And I thought if she wanted to be in the wedding why wouldn't she ask me and not her mother tell me to have her in it. I'm confused. I don't know whether I should just have 4 although some of my close friends are going to be hurt that I'm having her in the wedding and not them. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 don't you just love diplomacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Traditionally, the bride picks all of her brides maids. Sometimes though, she will pick her sisters and even the sisters or close female friends of the groom. Its prefectly fair. And also, its traditionally your choice of the number of bride's maids that you want, and the groom will match that number, but in actuallty you will both decide that together. One thing though, that I just learned about a year or so ago I guess, is that since we all know that traditionally the bride and her family pay/support/plan the wedding, the groom and his family fun the rehearsal dinner. Just a little something that I did not know, and I thought I would share. I know traditions are all the time followed and everything will be comprimised, but its still fun to kinda know them or follow a few of them when you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edlib Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Your wedding, your rules. Don't be forced into something you don't want, otherwise it will end up making the whole experience uncomfortable for you. Stick to your guns and your original plans. But that's just me. Besides, what do I know... I hate going to weddings. My cousin is getting married next weekend and I can't wait until it's all over. If she weren't family I would have found an excuse not to go. As it was I almost did try to get out of it, but my mom pressured me into going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Unless you hate this daughter go ahead and put her in the wedding. It'll save you grief from your mother in law down the line(at least on one thing). Unless you really don't want to be told what to do then tell her to take a hike. I realize I over simplified it and no real decision is that easy. Good luck. It's your wedding though(and your fiance too-i guess ) do what will make you happy. That's what it's suppose to be about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 Talk to your Fiance and get his opinion on this. Perhaps he doesn't want his sister to be a bride's maid. In that case he could talk to his mother about it. On the other hand. Allowing her to be a bride's maid could make your life easier with his and soon to be your family. Your friends should understand this and accept it. Finally I would say find out from the sister if she really wants to be a bride's maid. It could be that the mother just wants to see her in that position and the sister doesn't want to be a bride's maid. Also find out if she would be insulted if she wasn't one. Above all definatly talk with your husband to be about this. He knows his family and can probably give you better advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted June 16, 2003 Share Posted June 16, 2003 "It's not traditional but it's a very nice to do for your mother in law. If you absolutely don't want another person in there though, just don't. It's your wedding." That's what my mom said. She also said that my sister did that for her husband's sister. You'll have to get another groomsmen to even it out too if you do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 One of my best friends got married a few weeks ago...His sister was a bridesmaid, so it's not unheard of, but I'm not sure if it's a tradition. Follow your heart, after all, it's your day. edit: almost forgot that the brother of my friend's new wife was a groomsman as well...ok, so I did forget...sheesh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted June 17, 2003 Author Share Posted June 17, 2003 K I will take all you guys' advice and think about this awhile. This is going to be an interesting wedding..hopefully I'll survive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Good luck and have fun. Remember, you only get to do this once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 If it helps, when my wife and I got married I had her two brothers as two of my Groomsmen. Unfortunatell, I have no sisters, so my wife wasn't faced with that choice, but as I said, I decided it was only fair to have her brothers in the wedding, so I made them groomsmen. I hope everything works out for you, and remember, no matter what happens, it will be a beautiful service because you will declare your love for each other and start your lives anew together, not as two people who share a love, but as one couple who share a life and a love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Originally posted by WolfmanNCSU Remember, you only get to do this once. * has the urge to make a cynical comment about rising divorce rate, but is too nice for that, hell this is supposed to be a nice thread * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 yeah, its your day so do whatever makes you happy, tradition or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natopo Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Well it's good to see that you're going ahead with the wedding even though you had that arguement. I know I'm still a very early teen, but I suggest to just go ahead and let her. You don't want your mother in law to try and stop the wedding with your son (if she actually goes that far). But as everyone else has said, it's your special day, do whatever you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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