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Charlies Angels: Full Throttle


Darth Groovy

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You know, before I post this, I have to say, I liked the first Charlie's Angel's movie, it was fun, witty, and even charming at times, but this one blew it....

 

 

originally posted at http://www.themanipulation.com

 

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

 

Sony Pictures, (2003)

 

 

 

By Darth Groovy

 

 

 

What do you get when you take scientifically challenged cartoon like stunts, skimpy outfits, outdated music, and a plot that as paper thin as one of Cameron Diaz’s bathing suits? Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, the sequel to a somewhat campy Charlie’s Angels movie 2000, staring Drew Barrymore (Dylan), Cameron Diaz (Natalie), and Lucy Lui (Alex), is not to be taken seriously, yet the over the top cornball nature of the ultra fast action sequences is like a bad video game, or better yet a 100 minute rock video. The shtick is the same as before, only this time, the Angels are after two rings, (Hollywood has a recent obsession with rings lately…) that when put together holds the entire database of everyone in the witness protection program. Naturally Charlie, with the aid of Bernie Mac, the new “Bosley”, which is not just a name now, but a job description, (Bernie Mac: “So what does a Bosley do anyways?”), dispatches his butt kicking supermodels to go fetch the rings for him.

 

The film then goes into formula that plays out like connect the dots; find evidence, done disguises, find the bad guy, insert action sequence (surfing, motocross, car chase) have a bout with the bad guy (insert bad pun), cue track from Prodigy’s “Fat of the Land” album, then go cue Bernie Mac’s bad jokes. Bernie Mac does his best Charlie Chan, at becoming the typical Hollywood racial stereotype. No event film is complete without the African American comic relief, and Bernie Mac is not funny do to this over saturated script.

 

The action sequences are even worse. Full Throttle recycles everything from Jon Woo, to the Wachowski brothers without even trying to make it look original. The Angels fly through the air, do back flips, dodge bullets in slow motion and spend a lot of time smacking each other on the buttocks. During one particular scene, the Angels are catapulted through the roof of a dock warehouse, holding onto each other’s appendages, grab boards from the shattered roof, and then surf them down an anchor chain onto the dock. The Angels seem to defy all laws of gravity and science, and even though they are not superheroes, this would not even fly well in a comic book. In between each action sequence, Barrymore, Diaz, and Liu always seem to find time to go into a dance sequence.

 

A lot of familiar Hollywood faces walk onto the set of this nightmare, such as John Cleese, Bruce Willis, Matt Leblanc, and even though they are all part of the movie, they cannot help this blunder from falling flat.

 

Demi Moore becomes one of many villains as a former Angel with an agenda of her own. We first see her on a beach showing off her well toned body, as she first encounters Natalie, but then later in the film, she looks like Lara Croft, in vinyl toting two golden pistols, that could have easily been stolen from Nicholas Cage off the set of Face Off. Crispen Glover reprises his roll as the hair sniffing psychotic “Thin Man”, yet his purpose in this movie remains to be known.

 

The dialogue in this movie is even more nauseating than the action sequences. The Angels finish each other’s dialogue like the agents from the Matrix, and talk so fast, that you need the rewind button to figure out just what the hell they are saying.

 

The music in this movie is mostly recycled from the first film, playing the now outdated Prodigy songs, and everything else is nothing less than ten years old. So don’t waste your money on the soundtrack either.

 

Director McG, must have thought that the pretty faces and paper thin costumes would be enough to hold box office charm, but not even the three beauties who star in this film can save it from imminent disaster. This film is just not meant to be watched, with the exception of some horny 12 year old boys that are totally into Tomb Raider. Although it is not meant to be taken seriously, this film is seriously taking the campy elements to extremities, making it more fluff than fun. Full throttle ultimately becomes a full blown migraine headache. After viewing this film, you may want to go home and do some long division problems just to see if you can retain any of your brain cells.

 

 

 

Score: 52%

 

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did not enjoy the first one, except for Bill Murray, he was the only bright spot in the original Charlie's Angels, therefore I have no intention of seeing this next one........

 

 

Groovy.....Drew Barrymore? Are you serious? I find her rather unattractive....but I guess to each his own.

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Originally posted by ET Warrior

Groovy.....Drew Barrymore? Are you serious? I find her rather unattractive....but I guess to each his own.

 

*slaps ET in the face*

 

Drew Barrymores hot say it Drew Barrymores hot say it

 

oh well I think Cameran Diaz (probably spelt wrong) looks tons better then Drew

 

the only thing I liked about the first was the skimpy costumes they wore and I may have to see this one for the dame reasons

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Originally posted by Loki GM

*slaps ET in the face*

 

Drew Barrymores hot say it Drew Barrymores hot say it

 

oh well I think Cameran Diaz (probably spelt wrong) looks tons better then Drew

 

the only thing I liked about the first was the skimpy costumes they wore and I may have to see this one for the dame reasons

 

Bah, I disagree with you as well. I think that Drew and Cameron are about equal in the looks department. I'm not impressed by either. Lucy Liu is the only one of the Angels that I really find attractive.......but there are still WAY more attractive women than them.........Elizabeth Hurley comes to mind....:naughty:

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Originally posted by ET Warrior

Lucy Liu is the only one of the Angels that I really find attractive.......but there are still WAY more attractive women than them.........Elizabeth Hurley comes to mind....:naughty:

 

WELL SAID! i totally agree :) Lucy Lui....:naughty:

 

 

*thinks of Liz Hurley & drools*

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Lucy Liu - **** eyed and ugly

Cameron Diaz - Looks older than Demi Moore, uglier too

Drew Barrymore - Fat, stupid, and Never Been Kissed. She should've died for real in Scream

Demi Moore - Old and nausiating after Ghost

Bernie Mack - Got his career all black people get acting careers...making fun of whitey

Action - Matrix anyone?

Dialogue - Smith on crack

 

Overall I'd say everyone involved in this movie and its predicesor should be dragged into the street and shot several times in the face...

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Originally posted by Lunatic Jedi

Making a witty comment without adding anything intelligent to the conversation is just one of my many talents! ;)

 

(I've been told I'm quite good with paper airplanes :D )

 

It's also called spam, for which you have been warned about before already. You may find it funny, but other find it annoying. Consider this your second warning.

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Originally posted by Darth Groovy

It's also called spam, for which you have been warned about before already. You may find it funny, but other find it annoying. Consider this your second warning.

 

What he said. I've sen you all over the place. Please, tone it down just a bit.

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Originally posted by MydnightPsion

Demi Moore - Old and nausiating after Ghost

Bernie Mack - Got his career all black people get acting careers...making fun of whitey

hey bernie mac and demi moore are cool. and demi moore is still very attractive. i'd like to see anyone here remain atleast 25 looking when they get as old as her.
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Originally posted by Darth Groovy

It's also called spam, for which you have been warned about before already. You may find it funny, but other find it annoying. Consider this your second warning.

 

Yeesh. All I did was make a joke. :rolleyes:

 

Oh, I get it. You're just mad because Drew Barrymore had the restraining order bumped up, right? :p

 

AGH! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! :(

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if you look for a thread called seeing movies or something this weekend, I already went on a dont see or support CAFT motif. i wanted you all to save your money, and as wise film critic Jay says if a movie is really bad dont go see it. Groovster too abd we dont live near each other I would go see Nemo with you. I forgot to the Pirates movie is directed by Jerry Bruck... of CSI and CSI Miami and Without a Trace so I think that is a good sign. yes go see Arnie, go see Legally Blonde 2 cause Reese and little Bruiser will put on a better show.

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