BongoBob Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 It's been a while and there's alot of nothing going on, so it's time for another joke thread. *STUPID JOKE ALERT* Two muffins enter and elevator and start goin up. One turns to the other and says, "Man, it is hotter than hell in here," to which the other muffin replied, "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!" Commence with the funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Why is bungee jumping dangerous? Because your harness could fail, and you'd fall to your death. Hahaha. No? >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Windu Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 >_> <_< 24. Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24. Lets hear it. 25. what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 "I am the neighborhood baby inspector, I have come to inspect your baby." "Oh goodness! Inspect him for what?" "YOUR RESISTANCE WILL BE NOTED!" "Our species worked ourselves into extinction transforming this planet into a giant spaceship, using similar technology tested and proven on another planet." "Why would you do that?" "Because it's cool" "MmHm" Gotta love invader zim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Windu Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 "How much is it?" "Five dollars." "All what I have is seven." "Deal." "Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper." --- Barnacle Boy: We won. And the superhero-supervillain rules require you to do what I say. ManRay: World domination. Ask for world domination. The Dirty Bubble: Make him eat dirt. ... The Dirty Bubble: In addition to the world domination thing. --- Let's think of some ideas to sell the chocolate bars. I know, let's get naked. No, let's save that for when we sell real estate. >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiE23 Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by Mike Windu >_> <_< 24. Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24. Lets hear it. 25. what? Man, when you see it the first time, thats the funniest joke in the universe, but you can't laugh twice at it TiE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Azrael: Get me a Holy Bartender. Bartender: Never heard of it. Azrael: He doesn't know how to make a Holy Bartender. You do, don't you Muse? Serendipity: Don't... Azrael: Ahh, ANYBODY? No? Well, I know how to make a Holy Bartender... [Azrael pulls out a machine pistol, shoots the bartender repeatedly, then laughs] Azrael: Get it? Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks: "Can you put me up for the night?" <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BawBag™ Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by Pie™ Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks: "Can you put me up for the night?" <_< Jesus walks into the last supper, to find all of his disciples eating chinese takeaways. After asking where they got the food, they reply: "Judas bought it, he's come into some money" >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Windu Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by TiE 23 Man, when you see it the first time, thats the funniest joke in the universe, but you can't laugh twice at it TiE I disagree. I mumble that during school to my friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Jedi Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Torque Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 This multi-punch line/answer/explanation joke suits very well the this forums atmosphere. How to Know if You're a Redneck Jedi 1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. 2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans. 3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth. 4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer-colored. 5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder. 6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. 7. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok. 8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. 9. You think that the Stormtrooper Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets. 10. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas. 11. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force. 12. Your master has said, ''My finger you will pull..hmmm?'' 13. You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. 14. You have lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit. 15. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. 16. Wookies are offended by your B.O. 17. You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. 18. You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. 19. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. 20. Your father told you, ''Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot.'' 21. You've had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light a bar-b-que. This one sits nicely with the release of the new Harry Potter book Harry Potter Sequels Harry Potter and the Throbbing Muscle of Love Harry Potter and the Revenge of Montezuma Harry Potter and the Sorcerer from NAMBLA Harry Potter and the Painful Rectal Itch Harry Potter and the Decline of Literacy Harry Potter and the Sticky March Issue of Hustler Harry Potter and the Sorceress's Sore Harriet Potter after the Life-Altering Surgery Harry Potter and the Curse of the Lisp Harry Potter and the Inflatable Sheep Harry Potter and Spinning Grave of Tolkien Harry Potter and the Trenchcoat Mafia Harry Potter and the Carnivorous Pony Harry Potter and the Over-Hyped Children's Author and Clever Marketing Campaign Harry Potter and the Unexplainable Wad of Tissues I couldn't stop laughling after I saw "Harry Potter and the Painful Rectal Itch" EDIT: I found this one at comedy central, it rules Farts and Enrique Iglesias What do farts and Enrique Iglesias have in common? a. They were both raised on beans. b. They both have brown things on their cheeks. c. They both have trouble singing in tight pants. c. They both stink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt-Man Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 A guy enters a bar, and starts knocking back the beers. After he's fully smashed, he tries to get up, but falls flat on his face. He tries again, and falls back down on his face, so he thinks the fresh air will sober him up, so he crawls outside. After a few minutes, he tries to get up, but one more time, falls flat on his face. Se he says: "screw it, home's only a few blocks away i'll crawl." so he drags himself home. Once at the door he tries to get up, and falls on his face. He opens the door crawls upstairs and gets to his bed, he tries to get up, but falls right onto the bed and falls alseep. The next morning he wakes up and his wife says: "Been up all night drinking?" And putting on his most innocent expression he says "now honey why would you say that?" "Because the pub called, you forgot your wheelchair." Ah, i love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 24, 2005 Author Share Posted July 24, 2005 That's hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Knight of Keno Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 A bottle of milk and a cookie walked into a bar Funny, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Writer Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Chase, I thought for a long while about that chiropractor one... maybe I'm just too dense, 'cause all I can say is.... 'huh?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 Same here. I like that second one though :evil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by Chase Windu Q. Why was mommy kissing Santa Clause? A. Because he had two huge balls in his sack. (I know, gross and probably uncalled for) Q: How many women does santa have? A: Three, ho ho ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightsaberboy Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 A math and engineering convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were both math majors and engineering majors. Each of the math majors had his/her own train ticket. But the Engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The math majors started laughing and snickering. The engineers ignored the laughter. Then, one of the engineers said, "Here comes the conductor". All of the engineers piled into the bathroom. The math majors were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and collected tickets from all the math majors. He went to the bathroom, knocked on the door, and said, "Tickets Please". An engineer stuck their only ticket under the door. The conductor took the ticket and left. A few minutes later, the engineers emerged from the bathroom. The math majors felt really stupid. On the way back from the convention, the group of math majors had ONE ticket for their group. They started snickering at the engineers, who had NO tickets amongst them. When the engineer lookout shouted, "Conductor coming!", all the engineers again piled into a bathroom. All of the math majors went into another bathroom. Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said, "Ticket please." bwahahahahahhahaa!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt-Man Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 I don't get the Chiropractor one either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toms Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Originally posted by Lightsaberboy Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said, "Ticket please.!" :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 25, 2005 Author Share Posted July 25, 2005 That engineers one was bloody brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET Warrior Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 Ha....ha..... ........ *stab* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by ET Warrior Ha....ha..... ........ *stab* That was funnier than the actual joke. X) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 26, 2005 Author Share Posted July 26, 2005 ...I concur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 "What do you call a man who drops from a tree into his girlfriend? Falling in love." Yeah, I'm awesome like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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