The Doctor Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Yay, two more reviews! Thanks Mach! Can't wait for the next round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 29, 2006 Author Share Posted September 29, 2006 I've read some of Grimrabbit's work on kotorfanmedia and I found it an interesting take on things. Actually I've read quite a bit of it and what I truly have to say is that it was an eye opener but it made sense. I did find grammar and spelling issues but that's my job anyway. Great reviews mach and I hope you've come out of your blue spot. I can't guarantee when I will get our of the black hole of depression. I have six books listed on lulu.com (look under lorance) and have sold exactly three books so far. At that rate I may get paid by them sometime around next July. Haven't found an agent because I don't schmooze. Crap, putging myself back into a funk. Gotta go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted October 6, 2006 Author Share Posted October 6, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center SW: Talk about a Vacation. Mr. BFA The Exile and Revan take a vacation in of all places, Australia. The basic style is good, the story relatively well done, needing polishing and some editing more than anything else. About two weeks ago, I lambasted an entire site because someone changed the coding so that all of the stories were pirate yarns. The reason I did was because the entire premise is ‘a long time ago in a galaxy far far away‘. At least you gave a reason for why it might have occurred, an unexplained phenomenon right out of a Star Trek Episode throwing them there. I think I am going to have to address this in the Expert’s Forum Column later today. Trials ForceFightWme12 At the beginning of KOTOR: One of the favorite writers of the forum does the intro... FFWM, This is excellent. The style is compelling, the story well done. Like myself, you tend to avoid the ‘oh dear another group I have to fight’ problem of RPGs. As for the comments on accents, anyone who has spoken or listened to people will tell you that every possible accent around the world has audial relationships to someone else in the world. When I was writing a fantasy in my own world I had my character end up in San Francisco, and they tried to find someone who spoke her language, but everyone they talked to said it sounded like someone else’s language. So when are you going to finish? The Way of the Dark Side Pottsie The period following the ending of Jedi Knight One. Having never played this game, I was at a slight loss. The scene was well done, and there are some technical problems, but I will address them in a moment. The basic flaw I saw was that considering some of the horrible things we have seen the various Sith do through the series of books and movies, I was surprised that one reacted this negatively to one simple act. Vader fought the Emperor because he wanted to save his son’s life. Anakin murdered the younglings he thought to save Padme’s life. Strong emotional ties in each case. Now technical. The smallest count I have heard of the number of planets in the Republic is 100,000. I seriously doubt the Empire even at it’s height had enough ships to attack every system simultaneously. All that would have done is made them weak everywhere, and the Republic Fleet would have cleaned their clocks. The technical term is ‘defeat in detail’. The Jedi Archives Pookie Jae Onasi So how did we end up with a Gizka? The style is excellent, the byplay between characters excellent, and the premise not only plausible, but fun. An excellent read. Over in the Kotorfanmedia site they have dueling challenges. Having never actually seen the originals, just the responses, I haven’t paid that much attention to them. After this one maybe I should. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Stormtrooper Chronicles Jarhead43 The beginning of the adventure. The style is good, with mainly problems with homonyms. ‘brake’ instead of break, that kind of thing. The sarcasm on the old hands to the newbie is well done, and the view of the kid fits in. Altered Lives Fish1941 Alternate Universe: Events between ROTS and ANH The style was a bit choppy at the start, but it smoothed out. The basic premise is good, and the presentation well thought out and well done. Galactic Quest Episode I Jedi Ninja A millennium after ANH, The Sith rise again. The basic story is good, the idea even better. I don’t have time to read the rest of the postings (There are three of the Galactic Quests ones back to back) But they would be worth the time. I Am Revan Rainwood Another look at the reaction to this revelation from KOTOR I can’t think of anything really good to say about this that hasn‘t already been said. The reason is that 17 people gave it a thumbs up, and 14 commented before me, and quite honestly, I don’t want the kid to get a swelled head. This is fantastic work. Family, Chapter One Grimrabbit The families of both Revan and Carth get together for a rather odd reunion. Like everything I have read of GRs, this is good and thought provoking. But there is a lot here that puzzles me, because it makes me go back mentally to The Phantom Menace and not in a good way. GR, if the order wanted to turn down a nine year old because of just fear, why would they have accepted a six year-old multiple murderer? I for one think they got what they deserved, but I didn’t see an explanation from the Jedi’s point of view. Resurrection mcfinnegan As Bastila deals with her mother’s death, Alana (Revan) delivers on a promise. The style is excellent, the subject matter up to the author’s usual high standards. Worth a read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Heh, I think you should be _submitting_ stuff in the Dueling circle, mach. And thanks. "Pookie" was a fun one to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted October 6, 2006 Author Share Posted October 6, 2006 Heh, I think you should be _submitting_ stuff in the Dueling circle, mach. And thanks. "Pookie" was a fun one to write. As someone suggesting ideas? Or as someone replying to them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Thanks for the Review mach. I agree that is isn't my best Fic ever written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 As someone suggesting ideas? Or as someone replying to them? Well, if you have challenge ideas, cool, but I was thinking more along the lines of you writing an entry for each challenge, as in participating in the duel itself. I think you'd come up with some fascinating entries for each challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Yay, my first review! ... Thanks Mach, i'm starting to think, i actually might continue on with that story, whenever i get a chance. Once again, thanks for the comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted October 13, 2006 Author Share Posted October 13, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center Saviour, Conqueror, Hero, Villain Jason Skywalker Pre-KOTOR I: The battle of Malachor. The style is cumbersome. I hadn’t noticed it before (This is the second review of this author) But the word usage is not any English language dialect I had ever read. Having the enemy landing ‘a little more up’, that kind of thing. The battle scene is better than before, but again, you’re using terminology a neophyte might get confused by. Speaking of light saber styles that have no basis in the canon, talking of well trained volleys as ‘having precision‘. Saying they were good trained shots would have been better and simpler. It needs work, but it is worth saving. Memories of the 182nd bballforlife The tale of a unit’s last battle. The style is a bit sluggish, but that is an editing and polishing problem. My basic problems with the piece are technical. When 1st Squad, 1st company 1st Battalion, 1st Regiment of the 1st Infantry Division in Iraq rolls back into base camp, they don’t have the sniper go off to his section, the medic off to his etc. A squad is a cohesive unit that hangs together at all times. Like any form of male bonding, it makes them more efficient. Second, every weapon being carried does not have the same designation. Not knowing the modern Beretta 9 mill designation, I will go back to the war I almost ended up in; The standard special forces squad (8 men) has an M-60 machine gun, carries four to eight AT6 Laws rockets, two m79 grenade launchers, six m16A1 assault rifles and one Winchester model 700 or M1A1 sniper rifle. No Title Yet The Doctor. A boy plots revenge against the man who killed his mother. The story is well done, and Jasra Lantril has done any serious critiquing of the work. I disagreed with he comment that a kid wouldn’t or couldn’t do such things, there are too many times in history that it has happened and having a child dragging around a sword too big for him has happened often enough too. But the ranks are modern, and if this is not a modern army, they wouldn’t have used them. As an example during the Pre-American Revolutionary period ‘General’ was a Generic title, and a Lieutenant General was the second in command to a full general. The way you worded the section where that term is used, it sounds like he has been demoted, since a Brigadier is junior to a Lieutenant General. The Jedi Archives The Power of Love Pottsie A brief vignette after KOTOR II The writing is good, the basic story idea needs work, but nothing a little polish won’t cure. The piece seems a bit forced, Pottsie. As if you just wanted the character to fall in love. That just might be me, though so don‘t take it to hard. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Knights Of The Old Republic: The True Sith Vesper Set After KOTOR II A Jedi gives her life. The style is well done. on the whole excellent work. Rise of the New Empire:AU 92se-r In an Alternate Universe, Anakin attacks the Jedi Temple, and Padme delivers the newborn Luke to Owen. This work is excellent. Having seen the same scenes done in ROTS, it was intriguing to see them altered just enough to create a different ending. I was so good in fact that I had to stop myself from reading it just to publish this review. Before the Empire FIXITMAN Jedi on a mission. The style is good, as is the story, but the author has problems with homonyms (Threw instead of Through) and forgets paragraph breaks for dialogue. This is however just an editing problem, so i won’t ding it too bad. http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?cat=6&paged=15 Kriea: Revisited Darth Ramsis After the Final Battle in KOTORII, The Exile grieves for his enemy, Kreia. Told in first person, with Kreia giving the reason for her part, the story is poignant. I have mentioned before the writer Isaac Asimov, because of a quote. ‘The enemy you face is not a villain in his own eyes‘. This piece could just as easily be used an an explanation. Every step of Krei’s path was as logical as the path to the light would have been. Definitely worth the read. Time Goes On noneko A meeting in a bar after KOTOR I. The piece has the look of a polished art work, and the simplicity of the scene hides the fact that it is very well done. A simple meeting between two old friends tell more of the pain in the main character than a thousand words could have done. A Family Event charys KOTOR I parody with a Halloween theme. All right, I have lambasted people for this before. If the author had changed the name (In other words, not called it Halloween) I would have say nothing. So grumble grumble, complain, whine. That out of the way, I roared. It was funny from start to finish. The characters have an advantage (Beyond seeming to all be stuck in the same house ala Drawn Together) of being able to ‘borrow’ every one else’s clothes to pretend. Having both Revan (Played by Mission in a blonde wig) Darth Revan (Played by Dustil) and Canderous wearing Carth’s jacket (With arguments as to whether it is rust colored or orange) the piece sort of grabs your hand like a friendly St Bernard puppy, and drags you to the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Thanks for the review mach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center A Twist of Fate Jason Skywalker The trial of the Exile from KOTOR II but with two Exiles. The piece needed editing, after all, when you try to comfort someone you pat them, not pad them. Nothing major beyond not interjecting yourself into the dialogue, just repeating what the game had. The idea is a bit odd to me, but would work in a longer termed story than this one. The Gemini Contenders by Ludlum is a perfect example. Into the Future Pottsie After KOTOR: Revan is thrown into the future to right before Anakin Skywalker is found. All right, first thing, you’re forcing the story. At the end of chapter 2 when you would have merely ended the conversation between Revan and the Council, you almost had them using the ‘hook’ to pull Revan out. Note on proper etiquette; In a situation where one person knows both sides in an introduction, it is common practice to have that person make the introductions instead of leaving it to the newer parties. The way you did it was like the old joke from authors stepping into their own work. The idea is intriguing. By your own request, I will not review Generals of the War and The Fallen Jedi. Kar the Apprentice Yaggles Set after KOTORII: A young Padawan attempts to complete the mission of his dead master. All right, first, editing. There is an old saying I have used before nicknamed Carr’s law; a good story is not written, it is rewritten’. The story tends to drag a bit because the student doesn't really know what to do. And parched is not spelled with a ‘T’. On the technical side, I was bothered a bit by the idea that someone who could be defined as a child was sent on this mission with no way to contact his superiors in an emergency A barely trained boy should have a way to ‘phone home’ in an emergency. That he was willing to divulge his mission in detail to people he had just met helped the story by telling us what and why, but everyone else didn‘t need to know. The Jedi Archives Rule Number One The Doctor The events leading to the capture of Bastila by the Black Vulkars. The story is well done, and the confusion of the landing perfect. The story flows to it’s logical conclusion. There were only two technical problems; First a life pod is not a fighter. It is assumed by those that design such emergency vehicles that the passengers are not in any condition to operate them beyond hitting a button, so having them maneuver, while possible, is unlikely. Second, if Bastila had shown her Jedi powers, it would have been reported. Considering the physical damage done by the landing, it would have made more sense to merely have her surrender. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Trouble in the New Republic Jacno Set five years after the Young Jedi Knights series; An alternate history story. Set five years before A New Hope: A marooned pilot returns to the Imperial forces. The style is a little bothersome because the paragraphs are a bit short, and convey little. The basic idea of alternate universe stories is to change what did happen, and you’ve done that very well. However having a storm trooper order around a Captain doesn’t work. If they are clones (Which wasn’t followed through in the series) they should still be slavishly following authority, and unless the Storm trooper in question outranks the Captain, he wouldn’t try to take control of the conversation. Also, the ones he brought with him should have snapped to orders. The way they conversed suggested that they were of equal or near equal rank (Say a Lance Corporal telling a Private First Class what to do, and the PFC questioning it) rather than a major (Next rank up from a Captain) telling them to move. Bathtime & Rubber Duckies Inner Demon AU-ROTS COMEDY encounter of Mace and Palpatine The style is a bit forced. The author clearly was having a lot of fun with the subject, and kept nudging the reader as if to say ‘see?’. All in all a very enjoyable little read. Jango, Boba, and other clone war stories Xanatos Title give era: Jango Fett takes a break from breeding and training clones to earn a little pocket money. The style is jerky, primarily because the author is moving the character around like a puppet. It needs to be edited to smooth it out. The Author also has problems with spelling, and seems to have spelled ‘Coruscant’ phonetically. The story segments are honestly too short to give an adequate measure of the authors capabilities. kotorfanmedia Blood Deral Alexandra In the Inertim between KOTOR and TSL: Revan is faced with a decision. What can I say that the others who reviewed it have not? The idea of facing your past is a usual thing in fiction, and having ghosts make you do it is again, time honored. The style is brisk, yet does not force the reader. Rather, it is like any scene from a horror movie where like the character, you are forced by your own mind to go forward and confront the danger. The comment by capa was well said, the eyes were a bit much. I agree that a single flower left where it was obvious to the eye would have been better. Telosian Festival of Fear xenzen and Athenaprime During interim between KOTOR and TSL: Carth finds something else to fear... The story flows smoothly, the subject matter, a woman trying to dive in with feet first into the culture of her husband, and the ending surprised me pleasantly. It is the highest rated story I have reviewed to date. 52 thumbs up, and 21 reviews by readers. This story went well, and as I read it, I remembered an article I did in the expert forum of Lucasforums on how to convert a holiday of ours to the genre. The idea that the costumes have to reflect heroes rather than the fears is a unique twist to the Halloween motif (Black and Orange was obvious). Changing it so that the kids have to give the history of the costume is also a nice touch. Excellent! Chapter One: Skewed Perceptions Jakia75 Set in TSL: Twin exiles on Peragus at the start. There are spelling problems (Warn instead of worn) but any problems are minor. The idea of twin Jedi is fun because they aren’t even close to the same. The girl is almost as strait-laced as Bastila as described in the intro, and the male reminds me of Han Solo from the original Star Wars movie. The dialogue between Lydia and Atton is a well done take off from the original script of the game, and the only line I would have changed would be when he commented that he had wanted to use a line, but didn’t. I would have changed it to have him say he threw it away, and have her reply, ‘That’s a pity, some poor kid might pick it up and use it’. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Thanks for the Review mach. I agree with you. Into the Future wasn't my best Fic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Thanks for yet another great review, Mach. Sorry I didn't commented earlier - I haven't had a lot of time for da intranetz lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted October 27, 2006 Author Share Posted October 27, 2006 It is the anniversary of my column. It has been a fun year guys, keep up the good work. Coruscant Entertainment Center The Sith War: The Beginning... kookaburra As the new Jedi Council begins to plan, the Exile and Revan plan their escape. The style is choppy because you’re being too wordy. You have a small problems with homonyms (to instead of Too) and words that get confused (Wonder instead of wander). More than anything you are explaining over much. All of the above are editing problems, and easily corrected. Just remember to reread the work before you post it. As for the idea of the story, it has potential. The Empire's Will TruYuri The thoughts of a Clone... Now then. First your style is a bit hard to get used to. As with the author above, you’re trying to tell and explain too much. You need to remember conversation breaks, and also remember that this is not a who’s who. Without saying names, just by using the dialogue you can let anyone who knows the series know what is happening. To a clone soldier who is only ten years old, the people would be incidental beyond their ranks, I.E. do they outrank me? The Clones oddly enough seem to figure this out by who tells them what to do. As an example, in Attack of the clones when Padme is found after being thrown off the ship, the clone who finds her first tells her what to do. She gives him an order in reply. That act told the clone that she was in authority, and his program forced him to obey. Also, unless a ship is a brand new class, all are built on a basically standard pattern. If you were on an Iowa class Battleship before it doesn’t matter if it is USS Iowa USS Missouri or USS New Jersey, the lifeboats are in the same place. Galactic Conquest II: Rebel Rebound RC1162 9 years after ROTS: Battle between the Rebels and the Empire. The style is pure RC, and I am never disappointed when it comes to the work. But technical... First a guerilla war requires only one thing for the superior force, a location where the enemy is verified to be. Capturing a shipyard would give them that, and a shipyard is a stationary target that cannot be moved. How long do you think the guerillas in Iraq would last if they formed into regimental units and attacked? Answer, not very long. Roland Green in his Peaceforce books likened it to a fight between a street fighter and a boxer. The boxer has rules as to what and where he can hit. Once he throws a punch, the fight is usually over. I have likened it to a fight between a cub scout troop and a professional soldier. Again, the kids will get in their licks, but standing in place and trying to fight them is a losing proposition. The Jedi Archives The True Teachings I: Heir of Darkness Igyman A half breed Yuuzhan Vong seeks the Valley of the Jedi The style is adequate, and the basic idea sound. More care should be taken on punctuation, since you put a comma in the second paragraph of the second chapter in the wrong place. I my not be up on the genre as well as I like, but I thought the Yuuzhan Vong were force-blind. They also, if i remember correctly, did not trust anyone that could use it. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Darth Havoc and the Sith Infinate Empire Reverance 44 years BBY, A Jedi hunts smugglers, and finds revolutionaries The timing would place this right about when Palpatine was still only a senator, and before Anakin was found. The style is adequate, and the basic idea very well done, but there are editing problems. Nothing major. The only problem I had was two freighters attacking two picket ships in this manner. Merchant cruisers by definition are not built to the standards of warships in structural strength. While say a destroyer can take several hits from a larger warship One survived four battleship salvoes at the Battle of Samar) even that small vessel would be able to slaughter the merchant vessel. The scene would have been better laid out if a merchant (Or pair) were to take off, have the warships stop them, then attack while they are distracted. Search for Ko Sai: Hidden PeaceofStar During the Clone Wars after the battle of Kamino. The search for a missing Kaminoan scientist takes the clone trooper searcher right back to where he doesn't want to be. The style is crisp and clean, and the subject perfect. For those who have read the Republic Commando books, the Null troopers who became ARCs are a well known commodity. Short, but worth the read. The Resurgent Desparity Ironsideroger 20 years after the Battle of Endor. A lost Imperial fleet finally gets it’s orders. The story is confusing more because the author jumps from place to place, character to character without really giving you time to keep up. None of the characters that are the central focus are adequately delineated except for the one Imperial commander. The wrong words are used several times, but that is an editing problem, not bad writing. All in all, an intriguing piece. kotorfanmedia The Light Side female Revan section I have been mining is down at present, so instead I went to the light side female exile. Hopefully I will return to those grounds with my next review. However as you can see below, it was worth the detour... Hindsight arrow Set in KOTOR II: A look into The Exile’s past The story flows smoothly, the subject matter well defined and delivered. The idea of a Jedi trying to explain how he made an engine explode accidentally was choice. Too often, even in my own work, we see the characters as stolid adults either trying to right the wrongs they have committed, or saving the Galaxy from another. We tend to forget that these were kids at one time or another. Understanding Rhiannon The period right before the end of the Mandalorian Wars. A lover’s triangle finds itself part of yet another triangle. The style is well done, the work well worth reading. The idea that a man whose love is unrequited may be doing the same to another is not new, but is very well portrayed. One of the best short pieces I have read in the last year. Loyalty Rhiannon The Exile during the end of the Mandalorian War; How do you deal with someone changed so radically by war? An extremely short piece that follows the above one. The inner turmoil of what to do when a friend has changed drastically by a war will reach to any of us that have had to deal with that aftermath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Please don't stop reviewing mach. We all love them. Oh and happy anniversary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 My first review and not even too bad, considering that's the first fic I wrote. Thanks for taking the time mach and I'm looking forward to the reviews of the sequels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Hey there, thanks for the reviews Mach! I also considered of making the Two Exiles story a bit more complexed and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted November 3, 2006 Author Share Posted November 3, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center Memories Do Help Jedimaster12 After KOTOR but no specific time given. In a dire situation, Revan fall back on memory to help her. The style is excellent, the scenes clearly described. All in all some of JM12s best work. Darkness over Coruscant: Travels of Kavar Part Two Jabba da Butt Sequel to Never Trust a Hutt set three years later; The Sith infiltrate Coruscant. The style is much better than the previous work. The style is more smooth and polished. My only hang-up is technical. I know if a plane landed at say LAX and the passengers and crew scattered suddenly, Homeland Security would be alarmed. Alerts would be tightened, and within say three hours every airport would be ringed with whatever troops were available. Yet there appears to me no additional alert shown here except for the Jedi themselves. Vengeance of the Dark Lord Jason Skywalker A Dark side Revan faces the one who attempted to usurp him, Bastila. The style is a bit choppy Jason, but all in all good work. The Jedi Archives Revenge of the Exile Pottsie At the end of KOTOR II: A newly Fallen Exile now plans his revenge. The style is excellent, the dialogue exactly what you would expect from the characters in the game. Very well done. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Keeping the Peace Jedi Ninja After the fall of the Empire, no specific timeline given: A Jedi teaches a lesson by doing nothing. The style is smooth and easy, the characters clearly delineated, the story excellent. The biggest problem I have always had with people being taught to use the force is basically human nature. The old saw about power corrupting comes to mind. You see it here with a student ready to take on the world, and her companion who doesn’t see a reason to take it on just yet. It teaches a lesson without becoming pedantic, and without insulting the student as well. Xanatos's Apprentice ForceFlow Before The Phantom Menace; Qui-gon and Obi Wan find a Sith captive. The style is abrupt and a bit choppy. The author needs to remember conversation breaks and punctuation. On a technical note, I was wondering about one of the author’s creations, a control (Called controlment) crystal. If such things did exist, it is unlikely that it would be used in the manner suggested, but still feasible. Another note is that when Maul showed up, everyone was shocked. The Sith were supposed to have died out or been destroyed. So why are both Qui-gon and Obi Wan surprised by his appearance later? The follow on piece Redemption was too short to really judge, though the writer (Now 14 I think) has discovered conversation breaks, but still has punctuation problems. Return to Mustafar Jedi Ninja Seven years before ANH: Obi Wan and Vader fight. The style is good, though a bit abrupt. The fight between Vader and Kenobi is well done and doesn’t get into too much style and form as some people tend to do. The rescue of Vader by the young Boba Fett (Now in his early twenties) is pure Fett as seen in both Phantom Menace and Return of the Jedi. kotorfanmedia The Light Side female Revan section I have been mining is still down so I still working in the light side female exile section. Not that I am complaining. Some of this stuff has been excellent! Reality push LadyXianghua Before KOTOR II: The Exile is being hunted on Tatooine. The style is good, though the grammar and word placement seems a bit odd to me. The character is well defined, yet as one of those that commented pointed out, no real description is given of her. The period before the second game is a fertile place to do work, because there is no real mention of what she did for those first five years. I wish I had the time to read the entire work if this is but an example. Pazaak Foxfire After KOTOR II: Atton plays Pazaak at a distance with the Exile. The style is excellent, the only problem with the piece was it was too damn short, and in the comment section I am not the only one to say so! 27 people gave this a thumbs up, and if you read it, you’ll see why. Discipline Icey cold Time period not set, though probably during KOTOR I: The disciple and Exile talk about the inner workings of the Order. The style is good, the byplay excellent. It is not often that people looked under the surface of the order itself, and little has been done on the interim between the Mandalorian wars and the Exile’s return. This work is definitely worth the read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Thanks for the review mach. I have Jae Onasi to thank for being my beta twice over. I enjoyed writing that piece too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Thanks for the review mach. One of my best. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Thanks for the review Mach, although, i did put VOTDL, SCHL and ATOF on the Jedi Archives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Does it matter where mach decides to review Fics? Before the Archives were around, all of my reviews were reviewed in the CEC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sith at Peace Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 Wow, haven't been on for ever. Thanks for the review, I was gonna write more, but I got the worst case of writer's block ever. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quanon Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Do you also review ART ?? Just curious ... Or does there have to be actual text next to the drawings ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Do you also review ART ?? Just curious ... Or does there have to be actual text next to the drawings ? I believe mach only reviews Fics. But I could be wrong... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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