itchythesamurai Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 The show might actually be better if you turn the sound off, put on some music that you enjoy, and make up the dialogue and plot. Don't think they'll ever get around to making a legitimate DVD. But I am fascinated by the new Steve Purcell sketchbook which includes lines from the show that didn't make it past the censors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samnmax221 Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Sam why does that girl have a lump in her pants? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 That's no lump, Max! It's one damned ugly time bomb! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samnmax221 Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Time bomb, thats not a real word, but it made be think of a joke. A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." First they all leave the room. Then the daughter appears, 10 years old, blond curls looking like Hayley Mills from Pollyanna except, she's completely naked and covered from head to toe in her own feces. How she manages to do that to herself in the 5 seconds she was out of the room is completely amazing to the agent who claps wildly. **** covered naked Hayley Mills raises her hand in a gesture that indicates there is more to come. Next the son walks in with the Koran and the dead body of Pope John Paul II, whom he has been keeping on ice since the day of his passing, which has kept most of the fleshy parts intact albeit extremely squishy and pungent. The agent is no dummy and realizes that this family has some pretty powerful connections, which brings a smile to his quavering lips. The son begins to rip pages from the Koran and shove each page up the dead pope’s rotted anus. It makes a distinct squishing noise like ****ing a porn star’s asshole at the end of an extensive gang- bang, all loose and full of other men’s semen. Then the daughter begins wiping all the **** off her body with the pope's ecclesiastical vestments and the rest of the holy book of Islam. She then brings out a match and strikes alight the last page that's dangling from dead Karol Józef Wojty’s rectum. The pope’s body had obviously been soaking in gasoline prior to this show because he goes up like a burning cross. The brother then takes his sister in an embrace that is reminiscent of the poster for “Gone With The Wind”. A tear comes to the agent’s eye as the brother using some **** that has fallen to the floor to lube his penis enters his sister in a very classic missionary position. The daughter whispers that she doesn't want to get pregnant and the son pulls out a punch card for twenty free abortions that he received from the Democratic National Committee. Now as a special guest appearance the grandfather arrives on the scene with a machete and dressed as the prophet Muhammad. The son and daughter having finished their lovemaking rub the pope’s ashes all over their bodies until they are as black as Webster, or Wesley Snipes, or maybe Nelson Mandela (they’re all about the same). The grandfather, son and daughter begin acting out the genocides in Darfur. The grandfather rapes the daughter and cuts off her breasts. Then he chases the son down, chops off his hands and feet and finally his lips and eyelids leaving him to live out the rest of his short life in excruciating pain. Then the mother comes in with a shirt that says “U.N.”, does nothing and promptly leaves the room. The family dog comes in, eats the sons disembodied lips and ****s out a living preemie that is supposed to represent the baby Jesus hinted at by the white t-shirt it's wearing with “Baby Jesus” airbrushed onto it and a rainbow. Then the father comes in and begins to preach “Intelligent Design” to the family and tells the son that his suffering will end if he only accepts Jesus. The son attempts to kill himself by shoving his own severed foot down his throat with his stumps, but the father kicks it away and says that God doesn't give him the right to take his own life. The grandfather still overcome with bloodlust begins to torture fetal stem cells that he recovered from a dumpster outside a California research lab. The daughter with blood gushing from her chest crawls over to the baby Jesus and starts shaking it like a welfare mother and repeats over and over “What kind of god would do this?” Finally the mother comes back in wearing a NASCAR T-shirt, cut-off jeans and yellow high-heels. She sits down in the middle of the room shouting at the top of her lungs that she can't find parking for her hummer at Wal-Mart. The agent sinks back in his chair utterly horrified by this act when he realizes that yes she is wearing yellow high-heels and cut-off jeans. On that cue they all stand up as best they can and take a bow. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!" Sam! Sam! Why are you emptying your stomach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SyntheticGerbil Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Wait Itchy, how the hell did you get that sketchbook? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Buh? I wish, mate! But I did find this from the 1992 Comic Con! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samnmax221 Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I've never seen that one before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I just randomly found it on some guy's Flickr. Lucky find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samnmax221 Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Well what do you know Now I really want the T-Shirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SyntheticGerbil Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 You know what, I've never seen a full face picture of Steve Purcell before. ...and he's wearing the god damn Hawaiian shirt, just like every friggin' animator in California. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samnmax221 Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 It's a conspiracy, they're all masons! Does anybody know how to recognize a Freemason? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Secret handshake. Also, Steve Purcell has a superb taste in hats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I was about to say that, before you did because I read your post. This is quantum theory I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scummbuddy Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 I was wondering why all the pictures of TellTale had his face systematically blocked or had him facing away. And weren't some of his sketchbooks sold at comicCon? Or was that 'going to sell them in the future?' weren't we supposed to be watching out on ebay for them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SyntheticGerbil Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 I don't know where those ****ing sketchbooks are, but all of us here deserve one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xChri5x Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 Back to the topic\ http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADtAloWq2BjnMPR!wYVGFbuz!vjeq0xo6hKwPpSlpAuzcBIhY4LX!pUpFhVqg7QAngS97*0!RllmXII*1G3UyLiARJfPDFcv1HLxhjA1qJbuvd*EywakA/camera%20010.jpg http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADlAlsW6mBjnMPR!wYVGMyE9HA0ctTkvLfPFTLCN3RSHNssZF2P2GvQiJrfIc23b3!eCIVQP2m1WVfv4yTWU276UzlLcjfhl2bLTIpaW5HjwEBKR*IqHw/camera%20011.jpg http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TAAAAFwWKWFjnMPR!wYVGOZhZEFz9VqFpdWjaZbI6hHys!UB!XHTSWMeziNRepPxdBtjI2rD4FQZEO*BdxJGM0V7rWsQcPYW83MnrtbRN!UhMYO82Jk0Pg/camera%20012.jpg http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADtAl4Wp2FjnMPR!wYVGLnlmgDBadAZa*aTPShG0NQK7MYMzw2hvpYFDD53BQilJJVIZAeJZkxVnAmiti4XjVBmbj6xHJOI92P4*7NO7CZ!7JI6fgJCWA/camera%20014.jpg http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADqAmEWZGJjnMPR!wYVGBSohau*alc4p8JqY4OclJvSmAge2v4OcWuWSLM4nVpU0MeyH3bmFiFf9LixI0qK42CjI6HPu*xgyZIVshacZwFfHXXf1cP1BA/camera%20017.jpg http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADlAmIWo2JjnMPR!wYVGBzjL88HTu7g7VppEw!H3G5T6U*WO7cMnNsd4RQBTVLCHe4n7NilBYVgAYerpoxXYm4LawidZJ5qOxAYzuy1GW6d7c7PtQCFbA/camera%20018.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 I agree with SyntheticGerbil, we should avoid insulting Steve Purcell even in jest lest he thinks less of us. Because I'd so geekgasm for a sketchbook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SyntheticGerbil Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 I didn't say avoid insulting Steve Purcell. Steve Purcell pisses me off. He never writes to his fans or posts on the message board. I've been asking him since I was 12 damn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Udvarnoky Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 It was implied that the sketchbook would be made available to those who wanted it, but I've heard nothing. Also, I want that Max shirt. And that E3 poster. Why is Purcell's web site not up again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SyntheticGerbil Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 I bet Jake knows how we could get a sketchbook, but looks like the bastard doesn't want to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchythesamurai Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 This calls for some good ole fashioned extortion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samnmax221 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 This calls for some good ole fashioned extortion! Hey Jake, do you have a favorite relative? No reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banjo4321 Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Since Gametap is fully behind the Telltale release of Sam and Max episodes, I think it would be great if they had the TV show on Gametap TV (many people don't know that Gametap also has various animated TV series included in their service). If you are a Gametap member, go to the suggestion box inside the service and tell them you want the Sam and Max animated TV show on Gametap TV. I've done it already, but one person obviously won't make that much of a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poopdogjr Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Just download them with a bittorrent thingee. I've got a couple so far. They are sort of hard to come by, so you might have to do some searching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banjo4321 Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I can't use Bittorrent with my provider (blocked and monitored by campus internet). Besides, I don't download things illegally anymore, even if I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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