John Skywalker Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Well people its the sequel to AOJS (Adventures of John Skywalker) if you havent read that then dont bother reading this. I've been thinking about what to do about this for a while, but the first chapter is ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkonium Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Ok, then why haven't you posted it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir-Vlada Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I hope that it works good. I'll watch this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 Chapter One The noise had awakened him, it was the humming of what sounded like a lightsaber, he could feel nothing but pain, but he had to get up to see what was going on. It took him quite a while to get up he found himself in a room he had never been in before, he walked out of the room were the humming was getting louder, but before he could get closer a women in a robe walked up to him, moving in his path and pulling down her hood, she was the most beutiful woman she had ever seen her brown locks glistening on her head, and her brown eyes and red full lips were mesmirising, he could see a wedding ring on her finger, instinctively he looked down at his hand and there was a wedding ring also on his wedding finger also. He looked into his wifes eyes and leaned in for a kiss and they kissed passionately. The woman then broke the lock quickly and then ran into the room that he had come from, he wanted to chase after her but was drawn by the humming. He walked outside and saw were the humming was coming from, it was a blood red saber and it was being held by a dark hooded figure, the figure ran at himand went for his head with the lighsaber. He woke and sat up in his bed, just a dream, he thought and he was glad that he was right. "You alright their John boy?", the man called. "oh, yes Mr Fitz just a bad dream thats all", John said breathlessly "Well its your eighteength birthday today so weve got you a few aurodium ingots to spend in town." "Thank you Mr Fitz your and Mrs Fitz have put up with me for 3 years now and i am grateful you have", John said "Dont worry John were glad to help were just a small village and when we found you we were worried that you were dead, and were glad you arent", Fitz said this while walking out. John put on his worn out Sith robe and his cloak, he hated wearing it since the betrayel that happened the day he was forced to leave known space. The villagers here did'nt even know were they were which just heaped on more frustration to return to Coruscant and see his brothe that he has never seen Anakin. Whilst having breakfast all John could think about was the woman in his dreams, maybe its a vision of whats going to happen, John thought, or maybe im just an 18 year old Sith shmuck who wishes for a wife, he thought the latter one was more right. After dinner Fitz had asked him if he could collect some fire wood, this village never had the luxury of what Coruscant had and it took John quite a while to get used to it, he knew he was a city boy. Since it was early John decided to go deep into the forest to get the best fire wood. He was picking up some fire wood when he heard a twig break, he whizzed around, there was a man with an identical cloak to what he had on. "Well well if it is'nt John Skywalker, hows days as a low life scum?", the man smiled. "Who are you and how do you know my name?", John demanded, the man ignored Johns questions and went on. "I have a propersition for you, how would you like to finish your training with the true sith?", the man smiled again. "True sith? what are you talking about?" "Do you not think what planet your on? Bad things happen if they name this planet, but the people you live with are our descendents they know about us so they cant leave, this John is Korriban.", John laughed, "You fool I am not stupid the true Sith are extinct, your just wannabes, now if you excuse me.", John force pushed the Sith man, who went flying, and John started running tapping into the force to run as fast as he can. He returned to the village to find it ablaze all the houses were burning down. Their was a cackle of laughter, and John turned around it was the man from the woods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir-Vlada Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Interesting. Just one thing: As far as I remember, Korriban doesn't have trees or any flora and fauna. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 dont worry Vladimir. It will all be explained soon:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 If it's some kind of alternate reality thing I'm going to hurt you... Looks good so far, John! Can't wait for more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lol thanks Doctor im not revealing anything about the story:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Just noticed this! Great job, as always, and keep it coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 Yep looks good. Looking forward to seeing more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 So it has been over a month since your first chapter John. Where ya at man? This looks good so far, I just noticed it as well. I hope that you haven't forgotten about your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I like the first chapter--intriguing. I'm having a bit of trouble reading with the spelling and grammar issues, and if you clean those up just a bit, this will be even better. I'm enjoying the story, so please keep writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted June 4, 2006 Author Share Posted June 4, 2006 Wow! i havent been here for a long time! Trust me when i say a new chapter will be here soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 I was wondering if you would ever return. Check out my Fic, The Sith Lord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted June 5, 2006 Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 Ok pottsie im on it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 nice chapter i like ... if you want you can check out my fic also, The Second Coming of Evil, i need some more posts on it lol hope to see more very soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted June 5, 2006 Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 the new chapter is here guys! Chapter Two "What have you done to this village!", John demanded, taking a step forward to the man. "Ha! Look again at your precious village", the man said, laughing through his nose. John turned to see that there was nothing ablaze anymore, but just rock and ruins, even the wood behind the man had dissappeared, all of what had John had been getting used to was gone in a matter of seconds, was he going crazy? "Korriban has such a dark presence that not even plants can grow you fool, I thought that you would know this." John started to believe the man he had been fooled for three years, but how? "Tell me old man why i have been decepted like this.", John demanded. "Ok, i will tell you all i know. You landed here three years ago we found you but the master of this land meant to test you, you see he has a very special technique that allows him to manipulate any man's midi chlorians and make them tell you anything he wants you to hear, leaving you seeing things that are'nt really there, all we did is bring some food and water now and then which you mistaked for different people." John's head was reeling from what had just been said but there was still one unanswered question. "Why did you go through all this trouble to do this to me?" John asked. "Well what is you're given name?", the man asked "Darth Magmus" John replied "Our master is called Darth Magmus also." "And what does that have to do with me?" "I will take you to our academy, my master will answer you're questions", he turned and started walking and, reluctantly, John started to follow. After a couple of hours they finally reached what looked like a palace that lay in ruin but was still safe enough to be standing, they went inside and John could'nt believe the amount of Sith that were there, the crowd fell silent as soon as he entered then one spoke out. "Is that the one!?", he said enthusiastically. "We will have to see, come Magmus", the man said to John and as soon as the name Magmus was said the Sith hushed up again. John followed the man into a couple of halls and then into a bedroom. "Sleep, and tonight you will go to the cave to see my master", The man said. "Cave?", John replied looking confused. "You will see, now rest", he walked away John felt uneasy, he didnt trust these Sith but he had to, he will play their little game now, he thought as he was dozing off, tonight he will get some answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 more more more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Good Chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Good chapter John. And welcome back!! Geez you were gone for a long time. You had better get caught up on my Fic, it's about to end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 Finally. I almost forgot about his one. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted June 6, 2006 Share Posted June 6, 2006 cool needs chap 3 *Snip* connor, do not advertise your fiction in another persons thread, please read our Forum Rules before posting again. I have deleted your advertising part of this post. -RH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted June 7, 2006 Author Share Posted June 7, 2006 Wll chapter three is here! Chapter Three "Wake up!" John opened his eyes, the man that led him to this place was standing in the doorway. "Come Magmus and you will see our master". They walked out of the Sith camp and down a winding path,none talked, the man stopped outside a cave. "Our master is in there", the man pointed, John gave him a confusing look but walked in anyway, the man did not follow, and each step consumed john into the darkness. It felt like hours John was walking through staying alert to any sound that didnt come. He was just about to turn back when candle lights came on and he was standing in front of a translucent man who was wearing a robe with the hood hiding his face. "I've been waiting for you Magmus", the ghost said. "I want answers", John said defiantly. "Of course, do you know why me and you were given the name Magmus?" "No" "Because me and you can work up such a rage that it is as hot as molten lava or magma", John found this intrigueing but before he could speak the man went on. "I know you want to be great and the sith prophecy states that the chosen one will be great, and, my boy you are the chosen one", excitement rose in John, was that his destiny? "I made the prophecy", the ghost went on," that is why you were named after me" "Say what happens to me before i become great?", John asked. "You have to weave that part of your destiny yourself." "What must i do now?", John asked "Open the tomb", the man pointed the tomb and John walked up to it. It didnt take long to open inside was a lightsaber the hand grip was silver while the hilt and the bottom were made of gold, their was also a dark beautifully woven tunic and Robe. "That lightsaber, which was once mine, is now yours,as are my robes", John picked it up the patience in making this one lightsaber must have been intense it was a truly beautiful design, he ignited it and a long bar of crimson red came out, John smiled to himself wilst he took off his tattered Robes for the new pair they felt warm. "Now what must i do?", John said. "Get off this planet but my people will not let you take the only ship which you came in, its on the top floor in the Sith base" "They stand in my way and they will be destroyed", John replied with a hint of anger. "Good, Now lord Magmus go and bring supremacy to the Sith!", and with that John bowed and turned and walked out. It took him time to get back out of the cave but when he did the man was waiting for him. "I need to use that spaceship in your camp", John demanded "I'm sorry but you can't we need-", John did'nt let him finish as he ignited his saber and cut his head off, John started walking back up to the camp. While he was on his way to the top level of the Sith base John had wiped out alot of them, The meeting in the camp had changed him he now knew what he needed to do in his life, he knew what his destiny was. After killing the remaining of the camp he entered the mini starfighter he tried to set coordinates to Coruscant but a message camp up saying his fuel was low and that he could only travel to two places: Dantooine or Tatooine, He chose the later, he could see some of his old freinds before getting his revenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Good Chapter. I hope John stays on the light side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 ^^^^ Pottsie, you hope John stays on the light side? Isn't it very evident in this chapter that he has already gone dark? Anyway, great chapter John. Keep up the great work. The only suggestion I can make is a bit more puncuation and a few spacings here and there in between your conversations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.