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The Big List of Things You Learned From RD


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#171

Thread titles eventually deserve a change after about the 20th post, eg. "100 things learned from RD" to "200 Things Learned from RD."

Well whaddya know! It was changed! Now what number are we on? Ah yes...

 

#178

Everyone knows who Cheez is.

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#189

To get rid of red demonic creatures from hell, you must defeat them in a rock-off. But be prepared.

 

#190

If you meet a person by the name of Jamie Ford, and he asks where babies come from, never tell him. We must never let him breed and pollute the human gene pool.

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To defete Jack Thompson, a superteam must be created with the following awesome people...

 

1. Chuck Norris

2. Stephen Segal (I saw a movie with him over the weekend. He's no Chuck Norris, and he looks like my fat uncle with a pony tail, but he kicked some ass!)

3. Adam Sessler

4. James Gandolfini or however his last name is spelled.

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197

 

To defete Jack Thompson, a superteam must be created with the following awesome people...

 

1. Chuck Norris

2. Stephen Segal (I saw a movie with him over the weekend. He's no Chuck Norris, and he looks like my fat uncle with a pony tail, but he kicked some ass!)

3. Adam Sessler

4. James Gandolfini or however his last name is spelled.

Adam Sessler alone is enough to give Jacko a run for his money.

 

Adam: Bully is coming soon! Violence is an important topic! The Loop! Jack, Mark and Adam, welcome!

 

Jack, why do you hate Bully so much [you idiot]?

 

Jack: I represented the Paducah parents. I predicted Columbine! Bullying experts think the game will cause bullying. The APA says violent games cause real violence. Your viewers are idiots!

 

Kevin: Adam, aren't there other studies that support our side? And is Bully gonna cause violent crime?

 

Adam: NO! Jack's argument is preosterous, disturbing, dishonest and pernicious! Kids are getting bad education and medical care and can't get a job! That's the real problem, not video games.

 

Jack: So kids should play more games to get better grades?

 

Adam: Better grades? We're talking violence! Violence existed before Pong!

 

Kevin: Mark, have games caused a great disturbance in the force?

 

Mark: Read GameDaily... we have a cool newsletter that says Jack is stupid and wrong! I haven't seen Bully, but I think it's kind of funny, isn't it? We don't condone gratuitous violence, but it happens. The real problem is hip hop lyrics and violence in cartoons! They're not good, but it's a free market.

 

Kevin: We need to talk more about Bully! Jack, have you actually seen the game [you pathetic lowlife]?

 

Jack: No, Rockstar has only shown it to sniveling sycophant journalists. I found screenshots of swirlies, punches, slingshots, and cricket bat beatings!

 

Adam: Actually, Rockstar says you can't hurt teachers. Why not wait for the game?

 

Jack: Take Two lied about Hot Coffee! And they didn't immediately correct descriptions of teacher beatings! I sued retailers and got a school district to condemn the game -- that's why they changed it! Give me the game! I want to play it and tell you how bad it really is!

 

Adam: Just wait for the game to come out!

 

Jack: But then it'll be out!

 

Adam: So? Is it a virus that will lead to rampant violence immediately? Don't you agree that that's totally insane?

 

Jack: ... huh?

 

Adam: *Repeats his last statement*

 

Jack: Do some research! The APA says this stuff, not me!

 

Kevin: Mark, you're a parent...

 

Jack: I'm a parent too!

 

Kevin: OK Jack... Mark have your children ever seen a swirlie?

 

Mark: My boys are violent and they never play games. Violence sucks, but it's a free country. It's up to the parents. Jack can keep his kids from it.

 

Jack: That's not the issue!

 

Mark: Yes it is!

 

Jack: No it's not! Britain has laws against this kind of stuff!

 

Adam: No they don't!

 

Kevin: We can debate this all day, but parents have to be responsible... yada yada.

 

Jack: Kevin, Kevin!

 

Kevin: *Ignores Jack* Thanks to our guests. It's a hot topic, we'll get back to it later.

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