Totenkopf Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Unfortunately that cop ends up being you and you choke to death on national tv as the "monkey" turns out to be Caesar the chimp. I wish that the polar bears would tell Al Gore to chill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Granted, but he sues them. I wish I had a gazillion dollars from which to buy my own personal supply of....Marshmallow peeps.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 You do and prompty morph into the Stay Puff Marshmellow Man. I wish Christmas came 2x a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Granted, but now...just like the song, the world is covered in snow...for a very....very White Christmas....forever. I wish that I could rewind my life backwards and fast forward so I can replay and do a whole bunch of stuff over and over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Granted, however you don't get any younger even if your body does. So you end up dying in the middle of your favorite walk in the park. Your corpse stays there for weeks and months...and squirrels decide you are a nice couch to procreate on, amongst other things with other creatues. I wish I could find out the name of that show on PBS featuring some old man who built rockets out of trash cans. Then I shall attempt to do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 You do, but due to a sudden fit of dsylexia, you connect the wrong wires and......pow...right to the moon (alice). I wish there were fewer arseholes in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Well, okay, granted. But now the fewer that are left really seem to get noticed and you're one of them. They pass laws all over the world catering to pacifism so now every little thing anyone does do risks getting a fine. I wish a polar bear would rape and eat those old hags on 'the view'--except for that one lady that always gets ganged up on, she's sick that day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Surpise, surpise, surprise....Jim Nabors (aka Gomer Pyle) transforms into a polar bear on the View and slaughters the rest of the cast after the fat red(?) headed shrew makes a b*tchy comment about his singing (apparently thought she was Simon Cowell or somesuch). Spontaneous and wild applause breaks out in the studio audience. Unfortunately, it soon becomes known that Elizabeth Hasselback paid him and she gets in much trouble. I wish lawyers would stick to suing each other and leaving everyone else alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Granted but it destabilizes everything and just like the '80s it spirals out of control as jackings, ripoffs, cons, and retribution crimes skyrocket. I wish that backstory of Darth Sion were more complete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Granted, unfortunately it seems that Darth Sion was your mom before getting a sex change operation. I wish that TSL hadn't been rushed to market before it was completely finished/fleshed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Granted, but now, they have created 7 sequels, forever dooming Star Wars...because they were prequels as well. I wish I had the ability to make any game I wanted...and be a success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Granted. Unfortunately you make a disgusting game about doin' business on the john that ends up be your claim to fame. I wish there was a documentary on rodent porn and its profound implications of societal impact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Granted, but it's a flop. And since you were making it, you're out of work. I wish I had the eye of a director and were capable of making the best films in history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Granted, but now you have all the jealous wannabees all over you 24/7. You find nothing worth watching at the movies anymore because you made it all. I wish someone would croak carrot top. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Granted, but then he haunts your dreams (and with a mug like that....... ). I wish The View was cancelled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Granted, it is, but now there is no reason for The Balcony, and you fall a long ways. I wish I climbed Mount Everest 100 times! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 You did, but fell to your death after the final ascent. Damn good for nothing sherpa guide... I wish Coke tasted better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Granted, but now there is cocaine in it, and you have been charged with illegal consumption. I wish Root Beer tasted better, not that it doesn't, but better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Granted, but cream soda soon overthrows it as best tasting because it too tastes better. (uhh haven't you checked out BAWLZ G33k B33r? It has caffeine!) BTW, uhh yea...must be the phosphor in the coke that highway patrol uses to clean up blood with and glows in the blacklight. I wish there were footage of green critters from outer space giving Tom Green a rectal probing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 There is now. After you went to the courthose and changed your name to Tom Green, a couple of Vulcan extras from a Star Trek convention decide to ram a broom up your sphincter after a night of hard drinking, filming it with their "tricorder". I wish you hadn't set yourself up like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kipperthefrog Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Granted! now, YOU are the one who went to the courthose and changed your name to Tom Green, a couple of Vulcan extras from a Star Trek convention decide to ram a broom up your sphincter after a night of hard drinking, filming it with their "tricorder". I wish I were a leader of a great nation in the 20th century, absolute ruler in which i can never get voted out, my own symbol, unique arm salute and phrase and had a beutiful blond woman for my mistress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Granted. Unfortunately, your security service...staffed by two guys named Zed and the Gimp--stage a quiet coup and dispose of you in the basement, where they proceed to handcuff you and emasculate you to death in front of their new girlfriend, your former mistress. I wish you were actually funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Granted, I'm absolutley hilarious. But all the jokes are based on you. I wish I were absolutley funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Granted, but now all the jokes are about your mother. I wish filet mingon were as cheap as a hamburger, but tasted as good as it always has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Granted, but now, weight problems are 100 times larger, and more of the population is suffering, and they are blaming you. I wish I could have as much steak as I wanted for free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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