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The Ruin a Wish Foundation


Ztalker

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Posted

Granted, but hyperinflation quickly reduces you to a slave laborer for the next 1000 years.

 

I wish we knew where the "galaxy far far away" really was.

Posted

Unforunately, due to a grammatical error, the wish genie gives the Death Star to us (out of spite)and we destroy you.

 

I wish life were't so capricious.

Posted

Granted, but now, there is no summer, there is no winter, there is no spring. Everything is failing. We must use nukes to solve our problem.

 

I wish I had a golden bath-tub.

Posted

Granted, but since it's pourous, its appearance gets ruined after one time bathing in it just like after using that tiolet on cribs with diarrhea... sediment of icky stuff gets all stuck up in there. And the sadest part is that it was all that douchebag neighbor who used them while you were away.

 

I wish reno 911 had another season...

Posted

Granted, already happened on celebrity deathmatch. Unfortunately during that time your money was borrowed without your knowledge or consent to hold the event. Your creditors are irate that you were using them to assist in such wanton slaughter.

 

I wish images of Darth Bane had his hooked hilt lightsaber from the novels instead of the normal kind.

Posted

Granted. But the publisher recalled and redid the covers at your expense. You die poor and destitute in a back alley clutching a 40 of Mad Dog 20/20.

 

I wish Anakin hadn't been such a whiny little bitch.

Posted

Granted, but Lucas decided to make the entire series over again. He winds up bumming on your front doorstep.

 

I wish someone would just do an improvement CastleVania 2 rom hack that felt like it actually belonged up there with the rest of the CV series. (If that could be me...that would kick even more ass, optional.)

Posted

You do, but b/c it's a hack the developers ninja your ass into oblivion. Besides, lawyers cost too much anyway.

 

I wish someone would get these damn snakes off this m*****f***ing plane.

Posted

Granted. However, mistakenly thinking themselves disgraced ronin, they commit mass suicide just when you need their help the most.

 

I wish the world were my fawning obedient slave that could never turn against me.

Posted

Granted, but now, they are environmentally friendly, and have their guns taken away.

 

I wish my Panzers were super fast, and had enough firepower to pulverize an entire planet!!

Posted

Granted. However, due to an accidental discharge of the canon while in maintainence, the world blows up and you are forever condemned to ignominy by the rest of humanity, which geld you so that you can't contaminate the gene pool in your lifetime.

 

I wish US fighter jets could outrun enemy SAMs w/o hurting their pilots at the same time.

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