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The Glorious Ahtonian Empire has been around for a while longer than you think. You might want to do a search of Ahto before making assumptions. :dozey:
Even so, I thought you were a non-denominational organization, shoudl you even be having X-mas parties?
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Even so, I thought you were a non-denominational organization, shoudl you even be having X-mas parties?

 

The official religion of Ahto is the Cult of Stoffe. Unfortunately, most of the priests are MAZED right now from having worshipped her too often, but still.

 

We hold Christmas parties on the basis of December 25th being a jolly good date for one.

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If you strike us down we will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. After all, we have such people as Vlad the Impaler, Rasputin, Joseph Stalin, Henry the 8th, Benjamin Franklin, Dr. Henry Jones Jr., Bruce Wayne, the 300 Spartans resurrected from the battle of thermopolis, and an incandesant light bulb.

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I'm afraid 300 men armed with sarissai are no match for the Ahto Grenadiers:

 

Some talk of Alexander, and some of Hercules

Of Hector and Lysander, and such great names as these.

But of all the world's great heroes, there's none that can compare

With a tow, row, row, row, row, row, to the Ahto Grenadier.

With a tow, row, row, row, row, row, to the Ahto Grenadier.

 

Those heroes of antiquity ne'er saw a cannon ball

Or knew the force of powder to slay their foes withal.

But our brave boys do know it, and banish all their fears,

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

Whene'er we are commanded to storm the palisades

Our leaders march with fusees, and we with hand grenades.

We throw them from the glacis, about the enemies' ears.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

And when the siege is over, we to the town repair

The townsmen cry, "Hurrah, boys, here comes a Grenadier!

Here come the Grenadiers, my boys, who know no doubts or fears!

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

Then let us fill a bumper, and drink a health to those

Who carry caps and pouches, and wear the louped clothes.

May they and their commanders live happy all their years

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

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Its a shame that while they were singing that song the 300 had time to attack. They should've learned to throw grenades and sing at the same time. Multitasking not in their vocab I take it.

 

They weren't. That was a CD and some mannequins.

 

...As your Spartans have just found out. Pity for you to lose them all in one go.

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I won't snip it, 'cause it's awesome.

 

I'm afraid 300 men armed with sarissai are no match for the Ahto Grenadiers:

 

Some talk of Alexander, and some of Hercules

Of Hector and Lysander, and such great names as these.

But of all the world's great heroes, there's none that can compare

With a tow, row, row, row, row, row, to the Ahto Grenadier.

With a tow, row, row, row, row, row, to the Ahto Grenadier.

 

Those heroes of antiquity ne'er saw a cannon ball

Or knew the force of powder to slay their foes withal.

But our brave boys do know it, and banish all their fears,

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

Whene'er we are commanded to storm the palisades

Our leaders march with fusees, and we with hand grenades.

We throw them from the glacis, about the enemies' ears.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

And when the siege is over, we to the town repair

The townsmen cry, "Hurrah, boys, here comes a Grenadier!

Here come the Grenadiers, my boys, who know no doubts or fears!

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

Then let us fill a bumper, and drink a health to those

Who carry caps and pouches, and wear the louped clothes.

May they and their commanders live happy all their years

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

Sing tow, row, row, row, row, row, for the Ahto Grenadier.

 

You, Sir, get +100 points of awesome. PRESENT!

 

EDIT: Also, I have 23 Ships of the Line at the ready, including six First Rates. They should sort out any waterborne threats.

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