stimulus advice

[Totenkopf]

from fwd email:

 

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

 

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it

by Using a Q & A format:

 

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment

 

 

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 

 

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

 

A. From taxpayers.

 

Q. So the government is giving me back my own

 

money ?

 

A. Only a smidgen of it.

 

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

 

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase

a High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the

economy.

 

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of

China ?

 

A. Shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by Spending your stimulus check

wisely:

 

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,

the money will Go to China or Sri Lanka .

 

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to

the Arabs or Venezuela.

 

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ,

Taiwan or China .

 

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it

will go to Mexico, Honduras and

Guatemala

 

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or

Korea.

 

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

 

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,

it will go To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

* If you buy real estate it will go down the toilet.

 

Instead, keep the money in America by:

 

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

 

2) Going to ball games, or

 

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

 

4) Beer or

 

5) Tattoos.

 

Conclusion:

 

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard Sale and drink beer all day !

 

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of

help.

[Gurges-Ahter]

Hilarious, and painfully on point.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

i buy american grown weed i'm a goddamn patriot

[True_Avery]

Hahaha, well put. Although I think it forgot to mention that, like when Bush did this, most of it is simply going to be put in the bank and accomplish less than nothing.

 

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it

will go to Mexico, Honduras and

Guatemala

Actually, a great portion of American fruits and vegetables is grown and picked in California and Florida, and in those general areas so fruit probably isn't too unAmerican to buy. Although sending money to Florida or California may be just as fruitless (see what I did there?).

 

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or

Korea.

Buy a used foreign car off? Dats what I'm trying to do.

 

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

So they can spend it on foreign stuff? Or more yardsales?

 

2) Going to ball games, or

So the money can go to the top 2% of the country so they can bank it and spend it on expensive foreign things?

 

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

So they can spend it on expensive foreign underwear?

 

4) Beer or

I don't drink, but I'm told the better beer is foreign

 

5) Tattoos.

So they can get a Chinese Symbol put on their back?

 

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of

China ?

 

A. Shut up.

Essentially, yes. "Buying American" is noble, but looking around I don't see a whole lot that doesn't at least have parts that have been shipped in.

 

If the government really wants to stimulate the economy they need to build more home factories, hire the 11% of people we've got without jobs, and start building our own stuff. Sending us back our own money just compounds the problem.

 

We also need to start by letting the corrupt larger banks and the big small 3 die- oh, wait, we saved them...

 

We really are digging our own economic grave here

[Jae Onasi]

The patented Mama Jae-dar made me check this thread to make sure there were no discussions of the wrong kind of 'stimulus'.

[Trench]

I lol'd.

[Darth Avlectus]

Spend my stimulus...oh wait I forgot to pick my check up b/c I rejected it.

 

I buy ultra American: I buy crafts from native american tribal lands.

Yea, I go to yard sales and flea markets too. That doesn't get me much...

 

What about if you buy from Harbor Freight? Their product supplier Chicago Electric is an American based company right?...oh wait, that manufactures in china.

 

or how about

 

Fry's Electronics? Rumor has it they are a Silicon Valley CA based chain...oh wait...their products come from...nevermind. Silly me?

.

..

...

 

Long and short, it's nigh impossible to buy completely American anymore.

[Q]

Fry's Electronics rocks.

If the government really wants to stimulate the economy they need to build more home factories, hire the 11% of people we've got without jobs, and start building our own stuff.

Totally agree. Fact is, we used to make most of our own stuff until the mid 1990s when it became legal for US corporations to outsource and take advantage of slave labor in third world countries that domestic labor couldn't compete with. The reason that I don't place the blame squarely on the Democrats is because I know that the Republicans would have done the same thing. Both sides were in favor of selling us out in the long-term for short-term gain, which is the main reason why I have no love or trust for either party. Outsourcing should never have been made legal.

We also need to start by letting the corrupt larger banks and the big small 3 die- oh, wait, we saved them...

Not Ford. They've been in the black for awhile now, refused the stimulus money and avoided the socialist takeover. I think that it had something to do with their not building unreliable crap.

We really are digging our own economic grave here

That may have been the plan from the beginning. Ayn Rand would most likely feel vindicated if she were still alive.[/tinfoil hat]

[JediAthos]

as true and valid as the points made here are I still have a new TV or graphics card for my desktop in my sights

[Q]

Hell, I'm all for healthy competition, like when Japanese automakers trounced the big 3 in the 80s. I bought a Japanese car because it was better than anything being produced here. But what politicians, corporate execs, labor unions and, most recently, bankers have been doing to our economy in the last 15 years has nothing to do with competition. It's more like raping, pillaging and looting.

[Astrotoy7]

How about you palefaces go spend it a Native American Casino

 

We had one of these payments here last year. Since Australia was one of the few western economies that never actually entered a recession, some say it achieved its purpose. In fact our housing rates have been starting to creep slowly up again since late last year, which is the surest sign of the figures acknowledging people are starting to spend more again.

 

Who knows. Economics is such a mish mash that I doubt anyone really knows what's happening, let alone how to manage it in a big picture sense.

 

mtfbwya

[Darth Avlectus]

Fry's Electronics rocks.

Sure does.

 

Totally agree. Fact is, we used to make most of our own stuff until the mid 1990s when it became legal for US corporations to outsource and take advantage of slave labor in third world countries that domestic labor couldn't compete with. The reason that I don't place the blame squarely on the Democrats is because I know that the Republicans would have done the same thing. Both sides were in favor of selling us out in the long-term for short-term gain, which is the main reason why I have no love or trust for either party. Outsourcing should never have been made legal.

 

I'll PM you a little looksee FYI--it's nonpartisan and may well confirm your loony conspiracy theories about this.

 

as true and valid as the points made here are I still have a new TV or graphics card for my desktop in my sights

 

Hey, knock yourself out. Just make sure if you take a peek at the CPU w/ a heatsink, that maybe you spread a little Arctic Silver or similar heat trnasfer compound w/ 99.9% pure silver content.

 

@ $20 an applicator tube roughly about 2"X0.6"Dia cylinder, it's hard to go wrong and I daresay the investment is well worth it in the long run.

 

How about you palefaces go spend it a Native American Casino

 

I have spent my money there...more than you know. Then again I'm part redskin myself...OMG does that make it incest?!:eek:

 

According to Totenkopf, that's half my problems w/ money and uhh...other things...

 

EDIT: 'Kay, since ppl seem to think I have reversed my position on prostitution being bad let me clarify: I was being sarcastic about that part. Sure I spend money at redskin resorts and tribal reservations, but I am pretty damn sure they don't run a prostitution ring.

[Jae Onasi]

In fact our housing rates have been starting to creep slowly up again since late last year, which is the surest sign of the figures acknowledging people are starting to spend more again.

 

Who knows. Economics is such a mish mash that I doubt anyone really knows what's happening, let alone how to manage it in a big picture sense.

 

mtfbwya

I think Alan Greenspan had it figured out for the most part. I don't know if Ben Bernanke has the same command of it, but then again, the science of economics is predicated on gov't and the major players in the market being honest. That's been seriously hampered by regulations being relaxed to the point that sound business practices were no longer followed (at least in the US market), and an environment of outright fraud could exist (Madoff being one of the chief examples). It also didn't help that the oil company oligarchy was allowed to rip people off to the point where it tipped our economy into recession, if not outright depression.

 

Still, if anyone can understand it, I think the Federal reserve board and Bernanke have as much knowledge as anyone possibly can.

[Darth Avlectus]

Bernanke? He's been photographed going to and from private conventions of the Bilderberg group.

 

Bilderberg can claim what it wants to about its motives and goals for the U.S. but until they come out into the light with it, I'm still going to scrutinize an organization who allows only the wealthiest most influential people to its private meetings and nobody else, enforced with its own security.

[Totenkopf]

Well, a little transparency would be nice. But tell that to our govt too..... Seems that between Nancy, Harry and Barack, we've got the most ethical congress and transparent administration in the history of America (and if you believe that..... ).

[Astrotoy7]

Still, if anyone can understand it, I think the Federal reserve board and Bernanke have as much knowledge as anyone possibly can.

 

The problem is introduced by the fact that no single individual or government can fully dictate what another individual or government does. Western capitalist nations are often roughly on the same wavelength but there are nations that have a different spin on what they do with their cash and assets. How these differences will ever be reconciled makes managing an increasingly global economy a huge challenge...

 

or so it said on the back of my corn flakes box this morning I'm just a Health Professional, what the heck can I do about global econometric conundrums !!

 

mtfbwya

[Tobias Reiper]

The patented Mama Jae-dar made me check this thread to make sure there were no discussions of the wrong kind of 'stimulus'.

 

[Darth Avlectus]

You mean like the kind where "things happen"? Te-hee. [/Temari]

 

"You got stimulus, what are you gonna spend it on?"

 

Something that'll pay for itself? lol