Help Stop Bullying with Pepsi Refresh!

[Tysyacha]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Agreed again. As for college, I flunked out twice--once at the school I'm talking about, and another time at a state school. I just can't hack it, I guess. I've found out that surviving college has very little to do with intelligence and a LOT to do with "playing games" and "fitting in". The bullying I experienced went very well with both colleges' atmospheres.

[Q]

^Hm. Have you ever noticed a sort of "mental block" or a repeating pattern of self-defeating behavior that prevents you from succeeding?

[Tysyacha]

A mental block, I definitely had--especially since I was trying to major in Spanish.

[Q]

I totally agree on the part about therapy trying to convince the victim that something's wrong with THEM. If the VICTIM is the problem, we won't have to change OURSELVES or our WONDERFUL SOCIETY *cough*. Just convince the bullying survivor that they should "laugh it off" or "ignore it", and everything will be just hunky-dory for everyone...

Sorry I missed this earlier. I experienced the same thing, unfortunately.

 

This is precisely why I firmly believe that psychotherapy is a fraud.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

you both just went to ****ty therapists fyi

[Q]

Would that they were ****ty.

 

Unfortunately, they were all too good at what they did.

[jawathehutt]

Hmmm sounds like a better use of pepsi refresh than my colleges idea, stopping drunks from being "murdered" by arguably one of the worlds greatest serial killers. Or if you're not an idiot, stopping drunks from falling into the river.

[Tysyacha]

Bad news, guys. We're 92nd in the overall running, and only the top 2 projects are going to get the 250K. Please keep on voting, because WE NEED HELP!!!! By the way, the 9 main students that bullied Phoebe Prince are going to be arraigned today. 3 of those 9 students are going to be allowed to skip the arraignment for some legal reasons I don't understand. Cowards! If I were accused of a crime this serious, I'd want EVERY opportunity I could get to plead my innocence, especially my first chance to answer the charges. What are those 3 and their parents thinking? Should they be let off the hook?!

[Ctrl Alt Del]

I think I was bullied at times when I was on elementary school. Can't remember any of it but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. When I was in junior high, though, I remember being the bully. I never felt like a innocent pranks and stuff, but I would keep doing it for the sake of being funny. At high school I just adopted a "let's all be friends" attitude and found out that people will admire you more if you're the nice dude. In fact, I did even apologize to some people I knew I had bullied in the past.

 

I'm all for stopping bullying.

[Tysyacha]

It takes real courage to admit you were once a bully in this kind of thread. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and thank you a thousand times for realizing that bullying really isn't the best way to make new pals. It means a lot to me to hear you say that!

[Tysyacha]

I know I'm being a real "courtesan" here, but could you please comment on my blog? I'm feeling a bit lonely in the blogosphere...Thank you so much! These are fledgling efforts.

 

http://tysyacha.blogspot.com

[Jae Onasi]

A mental block, I definitely had--especially since I was trying to major in Spanish.

Start with the beginning courses, perhaps at a community college. It's cheaper there, and Intro to Sociology and US History 1 are the same at a community college as they are at Harvard in that you're learning the same basic stuff. Then, start taking classes that really look interesting. You'll eventually keep taking classes in one particular field, and end up with a major that way.

 

Keep working on the bullying stuff. Just know that even though you've been a victim, and it sucks, you can either get depressed about it, or learn from it and be stronger. The experiences I went through in junior high made me a lot more empathetic. Know that at the college level, if you are still experiencing abuse, you need to go to the deans to get it fixed. There's no excuse for adults in particular to be doing that, and any threats of physical violence need to be reported to the police. Bullies in college need to grow up and get over themselves.

[Tysyacha]

Thank you for the wise advice, Jae. By the way, you bring up an interesting point...I did both (become depressed about it AND learn from my bullying experiences to become stronger), although the process is not so clear-cut, as in "first one, then the other". Sometimes I still have "flashbacks" about being bullied, so to speak, when my mind travels to that dark place where the bullies' words ring. It's like I'm reliving the moment. Does this make me psychotic or something? Has anyone else experienced this before?

[Q]

From school, no. From 10 years ago when it happened in the workplace, yes.

 

Actually, it's more about what I did to stop it, but I can't talk about that here.

[Sabretooth]

Actually, it's more about what I did to stop it, but I can't talk about that here.

 

I see now what you meant when you were talking about flamethrowers the other day.

[Jae Onasi]

Thank you for the wise advice, Jae. By the way, you bring up an interesting point...I did both (become depressed about it AND learn from my bullying experiences to become stronger), although the process is not so clear-cut, as in "first one, then the other". Sometimes I still have "flashbacks" about being bullied, so to speak, when my mind travels to that dark place where the bullies' words ring. It's like I'm reliving the moment. Does this make me psychotic or something? Has anyone else experienced this before?

At some point you come to realize that the people in junior high are not the people they are today. We just all suck at having good social skills at that age. The people who said mean things then would probably apologize today if they knew how much it hurt, in the "OMG, I am SO sorry--I can't believe I even said that" vein. A few probably wouldn't, but they aren't the kind of people we'd want to associate with at this stage in our lives, anyway. Does it hurt? Heck, yeah. All you can do is acknowledge the pain and move on, and if you can't move on, chat with a health professional about it.

 

Now, at this point, you can turn the tables on it with a certain amount of wit. When someone says something stupid, you can say something like "Oh, congratulations on meeting my expectations for saying something that dumb". When the occasional rude person who's old enough to know better says to me "You're fat", I look at them in mock shock, look down at my body, put my hands up to my cheeks, and say "OMG!!!!! I NEVER knew that!! OMG, I need to call my doctor RIGHT AWAY!!!! This is TERRIBLE!!!! Thank you so much for letting me know!!! Really, I would never have figured out I was fat if you hadn't told me!!!!" You know, something absolutely outrageous along that line, and in as loud a voice as I possibly can so that everyone's watching. Then have fun watching them freak out as everyone stares, turn around, and walk away calmly. Mind you, this takes a little bit of practice and some moxy, but I bet you could pull it off just fine.

[Tysyacha]

The three-letter "F" word? No way! Me too! *HUGS* Moxie? You've got plenty of it!

[Tysyacha]

I just found out that three of the nine teenagers charged in Phoebe Prince's bullying have entered "not guilty" pleas through their lawyers:

 

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jtSfPUlJn7oUv4nT-KF2Kqs7J6mQD9ETNRU80

[Darth Avlectus]

Tsy: There's a difference between competitive and being a complete a******. (Speaking as one who has clumsily crossed that line many times). No you're not a commie pinko.

 

It really bothered me how other students would do stuff to the severely handicapped students, the whole less than human treatment. Especially the "less aware" of these students. I remember this one voc. ed class where classmates on the other side of the room would get this one kid with down syndrome to make, shall we call them obscene hand gestures. She showed it off and then get scolded for it. However our teacher was no fool and called them on it. They tried it one or two more times but the rest of us told the perpetrators to knock it off every time.

 

Moving around some, I never got to know many handicapped, but I would at least smile or nod in acknowledgment of them and it seemed to make all the difference to them.

 

I knew one guy who had severe cerebral palsy. He had some attitude with his vocabulary keyboard voice. And he had a great sense of humor too. We played cards here and there, and man he *always* won. NOTHING got by him. He was a killer Tetris player too. He went on to get a masters in theoretical physics or something. Some advanced degree and field of study WAY over my head. I'm happy for him.

 

Regarding workplace bullying: I think there is yet light at the end of the tunnel as there have been studies into how counter productive it actually is to business productivity in the long run. Clark Howard addressed these issues a few times on his radio show.

 

Also, it's good to finally see a show that addresses these issues, called undercover boss--admittedly I'm not caught up on that but it looked good. I wish more employers would do this stuff to see what really goes on in their company.

[Tysyacha]

Please don't call me a "political correctness Nazi", but it turns out that a lot of us with disabilities, including myself, don't like to be called "handicapped" anymore, or "special needs". Many of my friends and I prefer to be called "people (or students/kids) with disabilities", because it's putting our humanity first instead of our disability. Thanks for your support of our efforts, and of me. It means the world!

[Tommycat]

@Jae

Being half Japanese I tended to get teased about being Asian. Some of the more typical "size" jokes would pop up. One guy wouldn't let it go, so finally I said very loudly, "Why are you so interested in how big I am down there? I thought you were heterosexual. I'm flattered in your interest in me, but I'm married and until that changes, she's the only one who's going to see it. I do have a couple of gay friends though that I could set you up with. Maybe one of them will be well endowed enough to satisfy your need." From what I understand he never went to that venue again.

 

Then of course there was the time someone kept calling me "Chink." He kept telling me to get outta his bar(funny because I was actually friends with the owner... a Korean lady). I was ignoring him and continuing to drink. Well he didn't like that to much and grabbed my shoulder saying, "I'm talkin to you chink." Now, having had police training(and a bit of military training in that area ), I had him locked up easily. While I had him there I said in my absolutely horrible fake Japanese accent, "Oh so sorry, I am not Chinese. I am Japanese." Then I switched to my REAL Texan accent, and said, "Ya shoulda used Jap, Zipperhead, or slant. I might have at least turned around if you said Gook, but seeing as how my dad served in Nam I'd still have been upset about it. If yer gonna be a racist prick at least get your slurs correct." I then shoved him outside and the bouncers refused to let him back in.

 

Ya know it's funny. People get all upset about slurs against blacks, or even Hispanics, but for some reason nobody minds the slurs against Asians.

.

[machievelli]

Oddly enough, after Junior High school, I wasn't bullied very often. Of course this was back in the 'students have rights era'. Seems I felt it was my right to read the Anarchist Cookbook and How to Kill during lunch breaks. As an old saying usually aimed at relationships, you don't mess with someone crazier than you are.

 

I looked back at some of the other posts, and was reminded of WC Fields. He was a bit snockered one day and some temperance type exclaimed, 'Sir, you're drunk!'

 

He turned to her, and replied, "Madam, you are ugly. But tomorrow, I will be sober.'