C'jais Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Solaris. 3 hours of constant torture.... 20 seconds shots of a guy in shadows doing some shadowy things which we can't see in a dark room, while the camera is zoomed in on his shoulder..... 47 seconds shots of a wall.... Pointless.... Shots of a guy walking down some dark corridors.... I'm pretty sure the director tried to make it look like that movie had some sort of plot, just to frustrate us when we tried in vain to search for it.... Don't ever watch this movie, you'll feel extremely dumb after it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 *gasp* Big Top Pee Wee I can understand but his Big Adventure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCanr2d2 Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Road Trip - I just couldn't understand how this was made a movie, it really was lame..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehomicidalegg Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 scream 3, street fighter, mortal kombat 2, original cartoon lotr, titanic, jeepers creepers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 This is a good movie to take a date too. To the drive in. Especially if you plan to jump into the back seat and just shag. Not that I advocate that sort of thing. Johny Depp is a shady book dealer reqruited by some high profile book collecter to hunt down(get this) a book written by the Devil(I Swear, I'm not making this up) If you miss most of the movie and watch Johny Depp light up another cigarette and brush the hair out of his face again in between repeatedly getting his ass kicked by every living creature.......as he does several times in the film. You might be well to do. The plot is so bad......it made me laugh. Hard to believe it was done by the master behind "Chinatown" Even God makes mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gummo.nz Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 ahhhh....thanks Darth Groovy, I forgot all about Dune. no, wait. DAMN YOU!!!! you dredged up a couple of the most boring hours of my life that I may never have recalled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 The Italian Job Remake its not out yet .... but i can garuntee it will make all of those films look like works of art Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Originally posted by Gummo.nz ahhhh....thanks Darth Groovy, I forgot all about Dune. no, wait. DAMN YOU!!!! you dredged up a couple of the most boring hours of my life that I may never have recalled. LOL........your welcome:D "Just Shoot Me" Star, David Spade plays a mullet headed white trash loser that wanders into the studio of local radio shock jock(very badly portrayed by Dennis Miller) and tells us his life story. If your into great things like cow tipping, monster trucks, and beer farts, then this movie may make you chuckle. For the rest of you, don't expect to laugh anytime soon. I spent over 90 minutes waiting to laugh and 120 more cursing out my future brother-in-law for making me watch it. There is no redeeming quality in this film at all. After Our hero, Mr. Dirt sets out to find his rotten parents who dump him in a garbage can........who the hell cares about the rest of this movie? Avoid it like live Ecoli. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txa1265 Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 There are many, many bad movies I've successfully avoided ... some I've not. Fortunately, many of those escape me right now ... But, off-hand, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me Is really, really bad. We saw that, were really big Twin Peaks fans, but it was just plain bad. There are many 'bad' movies that I did like ... - Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - Howard the Duck - I'm gonna git you sucka - Real Genius (one of my all-time faves) - Better off dead (another fave) - The Last Starfighter OK ... so I was a teenager of the early-80's ... Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divine Spirit Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Originally posted by lexx eXistenZ noooooo it made the matrix look like child's play! hehehe j/k it didnt but it was a funny film. totally lame but kind of amusing in a stupid way p.s.) i like the way you spelt it correctly. [american accent] e, capital X, i, s, t, e, n, capital zeeee [/accent] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted August 27, 2002 Author Share Posted August 27, 2002 i hated gladiator, i was so glad i didn't have to pay to see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darklighter Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Originally posted by Divine Spirit p.s.) i like the way you spelt it correctly. [american accent] e, capital X, i, s, t, e, n, capital zeeee [/accent] It's zed god d****t!!! Worst film ever is probably Little Nicky...*shudders*... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal_da_Darth Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Freddy Got Fingerd. Freaking horrible. I saw it in theaters once and practically threw up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JrKASperov Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Well, dont remember the title, but it was a film about ants attacking.... the effects and acting were SO ENORMOUSLY fake and lame, I cried.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txa1265 Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Originally posted by JrKASperov Well, dont remember the title, but it was a film about ants attacking.... the effects and acting were SO ENORMOUSLY fake and lame, I cried.... Not the classic "Them"?!?! I LOVE that ... circa 1960, it was enormously fake and the acting was atrocious, but that is part of what makes it a classic! When I grew up, the station that is now part of the UPN (former channel 38 in the Boston area) had the 'Creature Double Feature', with the theme music coming from ELP's Toccatta ... many a Saturday afternoon in the 70's ... Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pad Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 and the award goes to .... *bom bom bom bom ...* blues brothers 2000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txa1265 Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Originally posted by Padanime and the award goes to .... *bom bom bom bom ...* blues brothers 2000 ... THAT is one that I was able to avoid ... I really loved the original Blues Brothers ... it is too bad that, like so many other things, it had to be messed with in pursuit of squeezing the franchise for a few more bucks ... ... but hey, my kids liked the Scooby-Doo movie (even if I though it was garbage), and the guy who did Shaggy was truly transcendent ... Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmjedi Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Oh, I almost forgot Planet of the Apes. The remake was horrible. After the movie finished me and my friends all said Thank God we didn't pay to see that movie. We snuck in from another hehehehehe:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibballin Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Guyver the Movie totally ruined the anime. series:mad: also the fist of the north star movie. both those ruined good anime movies:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord_FinnSon Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 - RoboCop 3: unfortunately, I watched it with my friend on theater and there were only two kids with us included. - Congo: they go to look for this guy(Bruce Campbell) from the jungle and then found him dead at the end. Period. - Braveheart, and I'm not even English. - Eraser: one of the worst Schwarzenegger movies. - Independence Day: full of American propaganda(visual effects and music were great though) and Jeff Goldblum. - Batman and Robin: they were constantly either fighting or showing their Bat gear. - The Lost World: somehow Spielberg and Crichton simply didn't know when to stop, but instead they had to let T-Rex run in the streets and eat more people, and don't get me started with Jeff Goldblum(movie's most sympathetic character was ripped in half by two T-Rexs). - American Beauty: overhyped, and story is full of clichès that seem to be taken out of teen movies of the 80s, but then marketed for middle-aged viewers(I have to admit that Kevin Spacey was amazing though). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorganfloss Posted August 27, 2002 Share Posted August 27, 2002 Any Barney and Friends movie. Watching one (I was like 7) will sell your sould to the devil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted August 28, 2002 Share Posted August 28, 2002 1. It stars Dana Carvey, Tom Green, or Jack Black. 2. If the add says "If you loved Fried Green Tomatoes" 3. Classified as a "spactacular sci-fi adventure". 4. If it's in french with english subtitles. 5. Sountrack Features new music by Smashmouth. 6. Directed by Kevin Kostner. 7. Ernest...... (blanks) (blank). 8. Was formerly a cartoon. 9. Based on a video game. 10. Based on a monster first concieved in the '80's 11. Anywhere in the description contains any combination of the words: "thrill ride", "laugh-a-minute", "Scarier than". 12. "Siskel and Roper" give it two thumbs up! 13. Has a quote from a review from a small town paper. 15. The box has 3D art or light up effects. 16. Description says "Goriest film since...." 17. Description says "Scariest thing since "The Exorcist". 18. Description reads "even better than the original". 19. Plot involves a group of vampires. 20. Based on DC comic characters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted August 28, 2002 Author Share Posted August 28, 2002 i noticed that the bigger the font of the description the worster the film, e.g if the word Outstanding is spread over half the case, it means it's crap, the reviewer probably fell asleep and couldn't be brothered to think of anything to say about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunatic Jedi Posted August 29, 2002 Share Posted August 29, 2002 Originally posted by Darth Groovy Big budget.......big stars.........groundbraking special effects. Biggest dissapointment about this film? The plot.........the biggest convoluted mess of a storyline I have ever witnessed. I saw it three times.....I just wanted to know WTF was going on. Two houses battle it out for a coveted planet that holds a druglike spice. Somwhere down the road this becomes some zen like exercise in spirituality and blue eyes and too much wierdness in general. When they aired this movie on Network TV they added a narrator to explain what was going on........didn't help. Nobody should have to read a book to understand a film. It just shouldn't work that way. This is the only movie in history that physically gave me a real headache. I'll admit, compared to the book, the 1988 version of Dune sucked. But fear not, for another version of Dune was made in 2000. It was fantastic. It never hit theaters, (so its not rated) but its on DVD. Its a huge movie, I think it was either 4 or 6 hours long, spanning 3 discs. The plot is told a little better in my opinion, and in greater detail. Its certainly worth a look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted August 29, 2002 Share Posted August 29, 2002 Originally posted by Lunatic Jedi I'll admit, compared to the book, the 1988 version of Dune sucked. But fear not, for another version of Dune was made in 2000. It was fantastic. It never hit theaters, (so its not rated) but its on DVD. Its a huge movie, I think it was either 4 or 6 hours long, spanning 3 discs. The plot is told a little better in my opinion, and in greater detail. Its certainly worth a look. You know what? All B.S. Aside, I may pick this up and see what is going on. I think even the old Dune could be salvaged with some good editing. Thanks for the heads up. look for my "re-reveiw" soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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