Sivy Posted November 3, 2002 Share Posted November 3, 2002 here’s what you do, just make up a funny fake newspaper headline Missing bible pages found! during an archaeological dig experts have un-earthed what they believe is the first hand-written copy of the bible. in this copy are they two pages that have never been seen before. the first which is at the front of the book reads “for Beverly, my darling wife, for persuading my to write this story”. the second, which is at the back of the book reads “all characters in this book are fictitious and any similarities to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmjedi Posted November 3, 2002 Share Posted November 3, 2002 Go to Nbc.com and then go to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Then go to Headlines. These are real, true and some are just funny as hell. I always laugh when I see them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorganfloss Posted November 3, 2002 Share Posted November 3, 2002 Drunk Driver Drives Self To Jail Last week a 22 year old man took police on a low-speed chase, often a speeds of over 15mph, through the small city of Rando (any connection between where you live and the name of "Rando" is completely coincidential). When questioned, the driver stated that he knew he would be going to jail and just drove himself there. He was later fined with drunk driving, marijuana use, and a restraining order on Bill Murray. That kinda sux, but oh well, I said it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taos Posted November 4, 2002 Share Posted November 4, 2002 I think you guys have been reading the tabloids far too much! ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FatalStrike Posted November 4, 2002 Share Posted November 4, 2002 Iraqi sub in lake Michigan Do I need an explanation? (If I do you fail to understand the state of the Iraqi...uh....Navy) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrSk8er Posted November 4, 2002 Share Posted November 4, 2002 [stupidity]psh what would a sub be doing in a lake.[/stupidity] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FatalStrike Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 Originally posted by StrSk8er [stupidity]psh what would a sub be doing in a lake.[/stupidity] hehe I actually got that from the cover of the Weekly World News, a stupid tabloid they have in the super markets. hehe forget the "what" and think of the "how"! DO you know of many sub that can got up rivers and thru locks? Also do you know of why Iraq would have a submarine? hehe Gotta love the tabloids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheJackal Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 I remember seeing many headlines in tabloid newspapers at work. The first one is: Osama Has Doomsday weapon in space!!! (Picture of Sputnik) The article claimed the Terrorist faction has gotten thier hand on an old Russian satellite (similar to the first one to ever fly into space) and aboard were biological and nuclear weapons. The 2nd was: Hitler's Gay Diary found! (Picture of Hitler wearing a ladie's dress) This article claimed a secret diary was found in his old bunker with revealing pictures. The 3rd is: Adam and Eve FOUND! (Picture of two squeletons in dirt + a small frame of Jesus in the corner) Claimed they found the remains of Adam and Ever... AND SHE WAS PREGNANT! Now #1 and #3 are just stupid. As for #2, Hitler was the biggest anti-homosexual of history. Althought he had strange sexual habits (which have been documented ... hey. It played on History Television.. they dont play useless crap like the tabloids). Anyways. Hitler forced his wife Eva Brown to piss on him and vice versa. Also, many of his ex-girlfriends commited suicide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<Im Yo Pusha> Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 -THE NATIONAL STAR- Eminem and Vanilla Ice in a Gay Relationship? Los Angeles, CA As reported Friday--Rappers Eminem and Vanilla Ice, once considered rivals are now reportedly in a gay relationship. The two were spotted having lunch in Spago, and then romantically walking on the Santa Monica Pier. Is Eminem hiding something with his homophobic lyrics? George Lucas to direct Star Trek Nemesis Chicago, IL As reported last week, acclaimed director George Lucas is reportedly discussing a deal w/ New Line Cinema to direct the upcoming Star Trek installment "Nemesis". This move comes as a suprise to many, considering Lucas is the mastermind behind the Star Wars series, considered by many to be the sci-fi rival of Star Trek. We will keep you updated as the story unfolds. Arnold Palmer signs deal with Viagra Los Angeles, CA 73 year-old golfer Arnold Palmer has just signed a 1.75 million endorsement deal with the popular drug company "Viagra". The golfer is set to act in a trio of comercials, promoting the male hormonal drug. Wonder if ol' Arnold is snatching some demos? Thats all the news for now. Next week stay tuned for breaking news about Carson Daly, the dangers of a playground, and an outbreak of alligators in the DC area! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eldritch Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 Man Kills Wife, Self after reading Fake Headlines A man shot and killed his wife before turning the gun on himself just moments after he had logged off of Lucasforums. Reportedly, neighbors heard the man shout "God damn that SivyB! I'll get his a**! Tease me with fake headlines, will he?!" Just seconds later witnesses testify that they heard 2 gunshots before they called the police. Tensions are high and Lucasforums had no comment, saying simply "No comment," when asked for comment by this reporter. It is unknown at this time whether the surviving family will sue Lucasforums or just SivyB, the reputed ringmaster of this life altering thread on Lucasforums. Yet another fake headline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted November 5, 2002 Author Share Posted November 5, 2002 Originally posted by JEDI_Anakin_S Man Kills Wife, Self after reading Fake Headlines A man shot and killed his wife before turning the gun on himself just moments after he had logged off of Lucasforums. Reportedly, neighbors heard the man shout "God damn that SivyB! I'll get his a**! Tease me with fake headlines, will he?!" Just seconds later witnesses testify that they heard 2 gunshots before they called the police. Tensions are high and Lucasforums had no comment, saying simply "No comment," when asked for comment by this reporter. It is unknown at this time whether the surviving family will sue Lucasforums or just SivyB, the reputed ringmaster of this life altering thread on Lucasforums. Yet another fake headline. lol it's my plan to take over the world mu ha ha ha ha (.\ | /.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Nessie found in swimming pool Woman finds nessie in back yard swimming pool "I dont know how it got there" she says as she throws a joint into the bushes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Shagg me! Over the hot new release of Vice City,reports have been made that teens have been dressing in 70 style clothing and been taking women into thier cars to "shag them". Also, teen rapings and pursuits have gone into a whole new high with 60% more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Thats one heck of a head line Tyrion O_o *backs away* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phizzle Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Originally posted by Tyrion Shagg me! Over the hot new release of Vice City,reports have been made that teens have been dressing in 70 style clothing and been taking women into thier cars to "shag them". Also, teen rapings and pursuits have gone into a whole new high with 60% more... VICE CITY IS IN THE 80'S The game rules though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomHelix Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 :lol: LOL! those are so funny. especially the iraqi sub......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eldritch Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Man Bites Dog, Man Put To Sleep Los Angeles, CA A man bit a dog in a Los Angeles suburb today. The dog was simply walking along the sidewalk when a man, foaming at the mouth, jumped his fence and attacked the dog, biting him several times before he was subdued. Although the dog sustained only minor injuries, he was still able to say "Roof roof arf. Arf arf arf rawf, yip yap roof!" One can certainly understand his postion. The man was taken into custody of the local pound, where authorities say he will be put to sleep later this week. The poundmaster had this to say, "You just can't trust 'em once they've biten someone, y'know? It breaks your heart, but they might do it again." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomHelix Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Secret Plot for Taking over the world discovered Earlier this morning, a plot by the squirrels and raccoons to destroy the world was discovered. People became suspicious when they began to notice these furry creatures sitting in the trees, talking on what might have been cell phones, and writing down what seems to be a well-thought out plan to demolish every government in the world. The squirrels are currently being held in a rubber room, but this form of torture seems to be having no effect. Says the police sergeant "These squirrels are pure evil. I dont understand why they hate us so much." It seems that all that jumping from tree to tree was not as innocent as we thought it was...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondrahosek Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Car fell off Empire State Building At the top of the building there was a secret set of the Lord Of The Rings 4: The Death Of Frodo movie. The director told the reporters Frodo would jump off the Empire State Building and kill himself after retrieving the Invisible Ring. This would surely kill Elijah Wood, but "that is not my problem anymore" said the director. But the production people had bad luck when a wind came and blew the whole 4 million $ set off the building. "We gave up" said the director in an exclusive interview. At least, Elijah Wood will stay alive... Report by O. Hosek How do you like it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondrahosek Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Originally posted by Sivy B here’s what you do, just make up a funny fake newspaper headline Missing bible pages found! during an archaeological dig experts have un-earthed what they believe is the first hand-written copy of the bible. in this copy are they two pages that have never been seen before. the first which is at the front of the book reads “for Beverly, my darling wife, for persuading my to write this story”. the second, which is at the back of the book reads “all characters in this book are fictitious and any similarities to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental” :rofl:LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL:rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Rofl... Nice work Hosek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondrahosek Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 First peeks into the storyboard of Episode 3 (The text written in italics are comments by the publisher on the reporter's handnotes) The name of the new episode will be (unreadable). The beginning will consist of the text "A long time ago, in a galaxy far away..." Then, there comes the big Star Wars logo, and the text "Episode 3: (The next few paragraphs are unreadable) The main things which will happen are: Anakin Skywalker will turn to the Dark Side The Jedi Council will find out that Darth Sidious is (unreadable) Yoda will relocate to (something like Dacko-blah) (The next bullets are unreadable) We are sorry, but the reporter has a VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY BAD handwriting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomHelix Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 :lol: ahhh.....hosek. you really brighten up my day....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondrahosek Posted November 8, 2002 Share Posted November 8, 2002 Thanks! I have a reputation in my class for being able to quickly decode Magic Eye pictures and keep the morale of the whole class high by using funny metaphors and being cheeky (the teachers hate that, sure; I hate to have a "big boss" like a teacher...). Lemme think of a new headline while I'm off to school (It starts at 8:00 AM, it's 7:30 AM now, I am living on CET (GMT +1). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted November 8, 2002 Share Posted November 8, 2002 A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collided this morning just off the coast. The survivors are believed to be marooned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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