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Things You Won't See On Sesame Street


Boba Rhett

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1. We discover how Big Bird really got his name.

 

2. As part of their two-man play, Burt and Ernie perform the Ned Beatty scene from "Deliverance."

 

3. Sick of all his ****, several muppets get together and beat the crap out of Snuffleupagus.

 

4. Cookie Monster gets his first taste of magic brownies and, immediately after changing his name to Brownie Eye, proceeds to gnaw one of Elmos arms off before being subdued by a blow to the head from Grover with a hammer.

 

5. Grover snaps and pulls a knife on Bert while wearing the upper half of his Super Grover costume and a pair of pantyhose, below.

 

6. Ms. Piggy and Kermit are found in a closet by Telly in a rather compromising position. They kill Telly and hide the body to keep their secret safe.

 

7. We find out that Elmo doesn't just like to be tickled.

 

8. While looking for crayons, Elmo stumbles upon the other reason why Oscar's trash can is so "dirty". His vast collection of Oriental porn.

 

9. Elmo learns the hard way why it's good to wash your hands after going potty.

 

10. Big Bird shows us why we shouldn't clime into strangers' cars in one of the most graphic assault scenes ever aired.

 

11. A new muppet is introduced to the show. His name is Gustoff and he has a latex fetish.

 

12. Grover shows us why we shouldn't play with needles we see on the ground.

 

 

 

That's all I could come up with for now. I just found the first two though. Heh, the stuff that dribbles out of your brain in the middle of the night is scary, aint it?

 

Now add your own! :rhett:

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-Grover and Elmo drop acid and go to the circus, frontrow.

 

-Oscar's garbage can emmits a thick smoke pooring out the top, coughing heard from inside.

 

-Big Bird gets struck down in a drive by, by the count. 4, 5, 6 shots ring out ha ha ha.

 

-Bert and Earny do xtc and get touchy feely.

 

-Kermit pimps out Ms.Piggy to the street.

 

-Snuffleupagus pistol whips the camra guy for getting getting "his bad side".

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If you got Kazaa or like it, try to find this file I found 2 years ago. Awesome...

 

 

It is Elmo (think so?) and Kermie, and they have been smoking somin herbal...

 

Can't remember its name or much more than this GREAT line:

 

 

Kermie: And today's letter has been....... JOINT

Elmo: But thats not a letter

Kermie: I know - but I'm too fuked up to care!

 

 

Awesome!

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Beeker takes an IQ test and turns out to be genious, as a result he realizes he can speak normally and never beeps again.

 

The 2 old hecklers watch a show and are at a loss for insults having their good opinions go unaltered.

 

Ernie looses his rubber ducky and goes out to search for it. He ends up wasting his time when he finds it in his back pocket.

 

Cookie monster suddenly gets sick of cookies and stops eating them. He has a mental break down as a result of not having anything to count.

 

Kermit goes through an entire show without having a crisis of lonelyness or a heavy burden.

 

The gang are making a play and everything goes off without a hitch.

 

Kermit gets jealous when the debonair frog Merkit steals Miss Piggy's heart away.

 

The entire show is completed without anyone finding something to sing about.

 

Someone discovers the truth about Elmo: he isn't nor has he ever been ticklish.

 

The gang discovers trying to teach math is completely ineffective. They henceforth fire Cookie Monster who goes postal from his lack of cookies.

 

The gang begins to feel they have nothing left to teach on the program and decide to make improve skits for the rest of the show.

 

Gonzo gets pushed into a wall really hard. His nose compresses as a result.

 

The Nerdy Scientist discovers contacts have been invented and changes to them. He then has perfect vision.

 

Kermit gets into trouble and noone will help him out.

 

Bert and Ernie get into a fight. The years pass by and they can't remember why they were fighting. They still refuse to make up because they feel friendship isn't that useful.

 

Ernie realizes he is an adult an no longer needs a rubber ducky in the tub.

 

The gang discovers more can be taught then reading, writing, and basic math. They now teach Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations, and Mathematical systems for math. The also begin teaching Physics, Chemistry, and Biology.

 

:racer:

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- you won't see oscar the grouch and big bird sharing a joint in the backstage.

 

"hey man, why is the blue sky?"

 

 

- you won't see count dracula pimping his hoes.

 

"1 hoe, 2 hoes, 3, hoes, 4......."

 

 

- you won't see elmo tickeling his other parts.

 

"ohhh, yeah, thats the spot."

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the Count developes tourettes and instead of saying ha ha after saying a number he screams obscenities

 

1 **** face 2 pencil **** 3 sheep *******

 

 

Elmo starts listening to death metal and becomes addicted to lithium and one day he tries to stab the cookie monster who beats him to death with his trash can.

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Originally posted by nova_wolf

If you got Kazaa or like it, try to find this file I found 2 years ago. Awesome...

 

 

It is Elmo (think so?) and Kermie, and they have been smoking somin herbal...

 

Can't remember its name or much more than this GREAT line:

 

 

Kermie: And today's letter has been....... JOINT

Elmo: But thats not a letter

Kermie: I know - but I'm too fuked up to care!

 

 

Awesome!

 

It is Kermit and big bird tryinng to host the show while stoned

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