Darth Rythe Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 All these were said by mates of mine:xp: "Nothing is faster than the speed of light... To prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the light comes on." "Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak." "Some people talk in their sleep, teachers talk while you sleep." Chris: I want them to multiply our votes by our IQ. Thomo: What, you want a dictatorship? "Whatfs the difference between a cat and a mouse? They both start with eCf except the mouse." "Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square! " "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." "I drowned my fish last night." "Lets talk politics; do you think John Howard is hot?" "She has bigger balls than me..." Faulkie: Joelfs being an anti-heterosexual. Mr Megal: Wellc youfll just have to put up with it. gTeagan, guess what I have of yours? It starts with ediaryf.h gRap has a silent eCf at the front.h gWhy are we learning English? Ifm never going to England.h Cftof: "What type of magnet?" Thomo: *blank look* Cftof: "A chick magnet, my next project" Thomo: *laugh* Cftof: "All I have to do is find a way to attract dense objects" "Is infinity odd or even?" "'C' is for Cookie!" "0n = n∆ƒÎ where n‚0" (The Cftof theory) "'n' is for Cookie!' Thomo: What isn't for cookie? C'tof: ƒÎ "Time flyfs when you throw the clock out the window." gThe window of opportunity is closed, wherefs the crowbar?h "Keep Australia green, have sex with frogs." "Did you know that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population?" "There is no way you could be a virgin, your face is totally rooted!h *prepares to defend himself* "It has been statistically proven that the more birthdays you have the older you get." "Donft drink drive; washing detergent is bad for your health." "I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt that you were hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing." "Chris is stupid to entertain himself; Tony is stupid to entertain us all." "How do we save the worlds problems? Let the hungry eat the homeless. And don't let Tony breed." gWhatfs better than a gold medal in the Para Olympics? Legs.h The others I have would more than likly get me kicked off, so i wont bother;) Enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jebbers Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 *looks down at sig* my favorites... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Wow. You're a terrible person, Kain. Awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightNinja Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 "yupiyayei soon of a b*tch" - Die hard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Windu Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Originally posted by Kain This is from my job. *Manager on intercom* The store will be closing in 5 minutes. *Customer to me, not 5 feet from manager* When do you guys close? *Me staring blankly* *Manager* 10PM. *Customer* How much longer, I mean. *Me staring blankly a little bit more* *Me standing next to 50lbs bags of dogfood* *Customer* Where is your dog food? *Me staring blankly at dog food for a few seconds* 3 aisles over that way. *Customer looks* That way? *Me* Yes...that way.*leaves aisle* *Me standing in Health and Beauty, 2 aisles from Electronics which has a huge wall of TV's on display* *Customer* Where do you guys sell TVs at? *Me pointing in wrong direction* Back corner of the store. *Me trying to move a 35" TV alone, obviously struggling* *Customer* Is that heavy? *Me, with so much sarcasm in my voice it pained me* Nope, just trying to get it to stretch its legs out.*muttering*Shmuck. *Me sitting in Cafe, eating a burger, obviously on break* *Customer* Can you help me with something? *Me* I suppose I could...if I wasn't on break. *Customer* Well can you come off of your break? *2 other employees walk by* Ask one of them. *Customer visibly aggitated* I didn't ask them, I asked you. *Me, taking huge bite from burger so I don't have to respond for a minute* And I didn't ask you to ask them, I told you to ask them. *Customer, red cheeked* Where is your manager? *Me, grinning like the Chesire Cat* Why? *Customer* I want to report how rude your being! *Me* Hey (manager's name), this customer has something to tell you. *Customer explains situation* *Manager looks at me and shakes his head* I could write you up for this. *Me* He's only being a dick because he's my brother. *Manager shakes his head and leaves* *Customer* I ain't your ****in brother. *Me, chewing on burger* Yea, but he doesn't know that. *Customer* Well, I want you to explain to him that I ain't your brother. *Me* Well, I want you to piss off but it just ain't happening, is it? *gets up and goes into the employee lounge* I never did get in trouble for that either. I think somebody's up for a promotion! "I'm ready... promotion. I'm ready...promotion..." maybe that was a spongebob quote, maybe it wasnt <_< >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomie Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 http://www.quotationspage.com 'nuff said. but if you insist: "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson, cartoonist, "Calvin and Hobbes" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mima kake Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 every disadvantage has its advantage. (C. Cruyff) Time is comming. But never gets realy close. (M. Kake) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeleneRayne Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Funny babe . Work treats you so horribly. They deserve it Quoets: Homer Simpson as he's eating Bart's dinner: "Where's Bart? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten." Gir: "Mmm.. I like madness." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyborgninja Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Originally posted by --ZeeMan-- oooooh if we're doing food service stupidy but memorable quotes the games over and i've got it captured... these are actual questions i've had to answer.... Does pepperoni come of a veggie lovers? Do onions come on a meat lovers? this next one takes the cake and eats it too.... Do you accept cash? - No I'm sorry, fine jewels and first born children only.... LOL god THAt IS HIRLAIOUS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 *me after playing halo 2 with my friend for 15 hours straight, stopping twice for 10 minutes for snackage* So what are you gonna do on friday? *my friend after playing halo 2 with me for 15 hours straight, stopping twice for 10 minutes for snackage* Well, I'm gonna fly around the world bonk hitler with a crouqet mallet go home shove pills up my nose do the mexican hat dance burn the barn eat the crops catch the priest throw him in the well kick him in the nards beat halo on legendary throw it in the air throw it in the air bleach my hair and do the white boy dance, in that order. Kain, that's just plain f***ing cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by BongoBob Kain, that's just plain f***ing cool. Thats nothing. Today it was sleeting, raining, and about 5 degrees in the wind, mind you the wind didn't stop for about an hour and only for about 10 seconds. I'm getting carts - pieces of plastic with METAL handles, and I've got no gloves, my coat and pants are soaked, half of my face is soaked, my feet are soaked, and I'm pushing about 10 of em. It gets difficult after 6, no less in freezing temperatures and sleet. Some stupid ass ****ing **** tard looked at me for about 2 minutes, shivering my little white ass off, and has the audacity to ask "Aren't you cold?" I turned so slow and coldly to this woman I could have frozen a lake with that stare and said plain as I could speak "Not at all, I just get my jollies from getting carts for ****heads like you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 They're not trying to be mean to you or hurt you. So what if they say something stupid? Why must you be so terribly cruel to them? It's disturbingly immature of you. Why are you not fired yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 So what? Stupid people annoy me, and obviously annoy, nay, piss off him. Still, it's like an act of god that you aren't fired yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by Boba Rhett They're not trying to be mean to you or hurt you. So what if they say something stupid? Why must you be so terribly cruel to them? It's disturbingly immature of you. Why are you not fired yet? To answer that first one: I've had alot, A LOT, of horrible days that have had sooooo many stupid people in them that I've felt my IQ drop. Not to mention my job isn't truley customer service in that I have to help the customers - I have to clean up after the stupid ones who let their kids deface the store. To answer the second one: There are 3 other guys who do my job. One makes a better cashier, another makes a better Sporting Goods operator, and the last one is so incompetent that they dubbed him "Two Cart Tony" because of his lack of an ability to get more than 2 carts from outside at a time. And I'm the strongest one they have so it makes furniture carry outs go alot quicker. Which reminds me very little of thee dumbest customer I have seen to date. This woman comes in asking for a cable jack to R/V converter. For those of you who may not know, R/V jacks are the red, white, and yellow plugs common to most consoles, and a cable jack is where you plug in your(ironically enouigh) cable. So I show her the one we have(mind you I don't work in electronics, so I don't even remember how I got into that department to help this lady). She asks me how it works - a fair question. I explain you take the cable cord(I even show her an example) into a plug and take the other end of the cord into the TV, then you just plug the R/V jacks from the system into the jacks provided(this thing is made so that people with older TVs can play new-age systems and DVD players). Damned it all if I don't have to get it out of the package and show her the plugs and STILL have to spend a half hour explaining it 20 different ways - each time making it simpler and simpler for her to understand. I finally got it through to her how it worked and she asked how much it cost. 16.99. Oh no thats too much. Good god this stupid stupid broad...good thing her husband was there to tell her to buy it anyways or Kain woulda had to choke a bitch. I kept my patience in check after that little cart fiasco, but if she woulda wasted my time with that...*shudders with anger just thinking about it* Need to beat someone down...Smackdown! or Halo is a must...*twitches*No time to find them - Defiance will suffice...*twitches* BloodRayne 2 is in - it must suffice...schoolgirl outfit...yum yum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Bongo, So what? ... So what? Lord. It's people like you, pal. Do you punch retarded people too? Grow up. If I was an ******* to every stupid person I met, most of you would be banned. People need to be nice to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 NO I don't punch them. I can tell the difference between a plain idiot and an actual mentally challenged person. Don't you ever watch Bill Engeval? That's how I'm like. And if you don't like it, well, sorry, that's how I am. I don't take it quite as far as Kain, but like I said, think Bill Engeval. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 No. I like mentally handicapped people...atleast enough to not call them retarted. Christ Rhett, I'm only human...and I have a very short fuse which I can usually keep from lighting in the first place. But just some of the people around here...UGH - whatever. You don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by Boba Rhett They're not trying to be mean to you or hurt you. So what if they say something stupid? Why must you be so terribly cruel to them? It's disturbingly immature of you. Why are you not fired yet? Im absolutely with Rhettski on this one...... Kain, it seems no one can do right by you can they ? You dont like your job ?? Fine. quit it. go get qualified and do something you enjoy.... in the interim, head down, mouth shut and work trooper ! mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomie Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever " - Anonymous Irony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Hey don't get me wrong - I don't hate my job. I hate the customers. Theres a suddle difference. And besides I have more stories of me helping people then I do about me getting pissed at people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 "Love is chemical. The sooner you embrace, the sooner you can move past the love, and embrace the chemicals." _Taro, (AKA Darth Groovy, 2004) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Originally posted by Kain ... And besides I have more stories of me helping people then I do about me getting pissed at people. telling customers not to use a VENTRUE ! HAHA ! A VENTRUE !!!! in Bloodlines is not helping them ! jk ..keep on truckin mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jebbers Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 you suck at life - Gothix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Writer Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 "I got Nut Cancer!" (said multiple times by multiple people while playing Halo against a guy who used the name 'Nut Cancer'... he now goes by the less vulgar 'Goatman') The response? "Sorry to hear that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrawn42689 Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 "Just kill the one with the sword first." "Ah," Reagan says, raising his waxed and penciled eyebrows, and cocking his pompadour in Shaftoe's direction. "Smarrrt--you target them because they're the officers, right?" "No, ****head!" Shaftoe yells. "You kill 'em because they've got ****ing swords! You ever had anyone running at you waving a ****ing sword?" --Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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