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The Lighter Side of Life (jokes, humor, etc.)


ChAiNz.2da

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^It's cold. Cliky, Hall.

 

Anyway, I have some Doctor Who audio clips that I think are funny, but you might not. Most of them are from the 4th Doctor's (Tom Baker's) era.

Clicky - Stupid Computer

Clicky - Stupid Dinosaur

Clicky - No, K9!

Clicky - Sorry

Clicky - Fred

Clicky - You've always wanted to be a bloodhound

Clicky - Not programmed to bark

Clicky - The Doctor loves his hat

Clicky - He loves his scarf, too

Clicky - Violent Butler

Clicky - He'd better hope so

Clicky - Crazy Duggan

Clicky - Cold hands

This one is a blooper from the episode "The Armageddon Factor", in which Tom Baker (the Doctor) makes up his line to K9: Clicky - NOT CENSORED!

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Ack! Bunny overload!

A bunny for the criminally tasteless

Now own up, who did this?

Was it you? Yes, RJM, I'm looking at you.

Malak changes profession, to become Superman impersonator

And finally, a picture of sheer d'ohness:

1dca510e80200800d01b812cbfba8d3aa76.jpg

 

Some quotes:

' "His scarf killed a man!"

"Arrest the scarf then!" '

 

Dinner Guest: ' "So, Madame deGaulle, what would you most like in life?"

Mme deGaulle: " A penis!"

Mr deGaulle: "I believe, my dear, that it is pronounced "happiness"." '

 

'"You are drunk, Mr. Churchill, you are most disgustingly drunk!"

"I am, Mrs Braddock, but you, Mrs. Braddock are extraordinarily fat and ugly. And in the morning, I, Winston Churchill, will be sober."'

 

And remember to stay wyrd, and to be pontefract.

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Fun with words. All your nouns are belong to us.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will: It's a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your Count who

votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor

1 1. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum

Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at

large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd

dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

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