GothiX Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Yeah, we're getting married, me and Mary. Haven't ever been happier in my life. She's just perfect, everything about her is. Only, there's one complication: Her younger cousin, Anne. She's gorgeous, and she knows she is. Mini-skirts, thongs, revealing T-shirts, she wears it all. And especially when she's around me, she finds a lot of excuses to bend over, which is quite tempting really. However, I'm a nearly-married man, and don't want to risk that! The night before we're getting married, Anne calls. She says she has a problem with her washing machine, and asks me to come and help fix it. Of course, helpful as I am, I drive off, and not long thereafter, arrive at her house. There, I find her walking around in only underwear. She hugs me just a bit too tight, and whispers in my ear: "You. Me. Upstairs. Now." She walks up the stairs, and halfway up, already takes off her bra. I'm standing there, shocked, for a few seconds. As the shock fades away, I'm able to think clear again, and I directly walk outside, to my car. there, I find Mary's father, who embraces me, and says he's "Happy that I resisted the temptations, and am truly a good husband for his daughter". Moral to the story? Always keep your condoms in your car!
Acrylic Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Old. I remember it from a joke thread at gearlive.com
ET Warrior Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 weak sauce! I believe obi already told that joke not too long ago....coulda been somebody else.....point is, this thread sucks But I'll add a joke. How did Helen Keller burn her hand? She was trying to read the waffle iron
Mike Windu Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 So many different versions of that joke going around for so long. *stabs ET* Boo. Hiss. Get off the stage!
lukeskywalker1 Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Time for a celebration! I'll buy traveling tickets for all the swampies and ... oh .. it was a joke. Seriously, when I read the first sentence I thought he was getting married... I was like "whoa..." but I really did think he was getting married. thats funny... :-p
Joetheeskimo Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Originally posted by GothiX I directly walk outside, to my car. Why the hell would you do that? I'd take the chance. Never heard that joke before, anyway.
TiE23 Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 "Mommy! I don't want to go to Europe!" "Shut up and keep swimming!" TiE
ET Warrior Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Originally posted by joetheeskimo5 Why the hell would you do that? I'd take the chance. The joke is he keeps his condoms in his car, so he was going to his car to get them. Fine fine, new joke How many men does it take to open a beer? None, the woman damn well better have it open when she brings it to you!
MTV2 Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 what happens if it's real? but cmon, its a joke, got to be
ET Warrior Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Originally posted by MTV2 what happens if it's real? but cmon, its a joke, got to be it IS a joke, and an old one at that.
boinga1 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 I got some women jokes...potentially offensive, though I don't mean anything... These are kinda old, so you might have heard them, sry. Why don't women go skiing? There's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom. Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver? Because she was a woman.
Joetheeskimo Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by ET Warrior The joke is he keeps his condoms in his car, so he was going to his car to get them. I get it. LOL!
jon_hill987 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Again possably offensive: What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two Bullets
LightNinja Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by jon_hill987 Again possably offensive: What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two Bullets call me retard but i dont get it :/, to reunite 2 bullets? *lost* edit: lmfao i got it heheh
Joetheeskimo Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by LightNinja call me retard but i dont get it :/, to reunite 2 bullets? *lost* All but two of the beatles are dead, so two bullets (one for each living Beatle) would make them reunited in heaven/hell/wherever they went.
Captain Wilson Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by jon_hill987 Again possably offensive: What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two Bullets Hehehe
BongoBob Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Ok, a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender notices and asks him why. He says, *in best pirate voive* "ARGH! IT DRIVES ME NUTS!"
jebbers Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 a guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, they drink the night away and the giraffe passes out on the floor.....the guy starts to walk out and the bartender yells to him 'hey get back here!' so the guy walks back and asks 'what?' the bartender says ' you just cant leave that lyin there.' the guy says 'its not a lion, its a giraffe.... get it? ....no.......i really suck at jokes......
GothiX Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by MTV2 Wheres Gothix? In Pie's pants, obviously.
ET Warrior Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by jebbers you just cant leave that lying there.' 'twould be more impressive if you spelled lying as "lyin". Lying sounds nothing like lion, while lyin sounds very much the same
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