Surfnshannon Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 So my sister introduced me to the wonderful world of myspace.com. At first I was innocently looking up old boyfriends and friends. It was neat to see where everyone was and how they were doing. Now, here comes the interesting part. One of my very close friends has a myspace, but I found out something about her that I never knew. She's a lesbian. I'm not grossed out or anything like that at all. More like I feel left out because she never ever told me. We've known eachother since Freshman year in high school, so we have known eachother for 12 years. She was in my wedding and everything. I love her to death and she's a great person. I don't know if I should tell her I saw her page. Maybe its just a recent revalation? I'm not sure. Do you think I shouldn't say anything and wait for her to bring it up? So hard. She's talked to me for years about this one guy she never got over in high school and after my wedding we never spoke. I thought maybe she just got busy and lost touch. I'm not sure how to talk to her. I hate to feel like she's been lying to me all this time. Any one have any sane pages on myspace? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinWalker Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 "Lying" to you? Did she ever say she wasn't a lesbian? Homosexuality is a difficult thing for people to expose to lifelong friends, particularly those that they fear the risk of losing. If you consider this person a friend, I'd simply tell her that you noticed her page and that, "I never knew that about you... by the way, how's your family? It's been a long time since we've seen each other. Are you going to the new Star Wars showing on the 19th?" If she feels as though you aren't going to judge her based on her sexual orientation and lose you as a friend, she'll probably be very relieved. Of course... you shouldn't say all that if her sexual orientation really matters to you in maintaining her friendship. I've a feeling that's not the case with you though. You don't seem to be that kind of person. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acrylic Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Well, I'd be kinda "weirded" out too, if that was one of my good friends. I mean, if they are, if they tell you, then it would be allright, but I mean, if they kept it a secret all those years, then I don't think thats right. So, I say she's basically been lying to you. and Myspace is...well, interesting. Because I found my old girlfriend that moved away on myspace, and my sister's ex-fiancee, who died, also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 No I don't want to loose her as a friend over this. In high school she made fun of all the girls who were gay etc - so it just strikes me as odd. I mean was she testing me? She always talked about this guy she liked etc. Its just weird. I'm not like that - it just seems like the whole world can know on the internet, but I wasn't told? Just kinda sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET Warrior Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 She's only been lying if she actually told her that she was, in fact, straight. And perhaps she's just recently figured out that she's a lesbian, or maybe she is just uncomfortable talking about it. The internet gives her the anonymity to be true to herself, without the possible embarassment of a face to face admission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by ET Warrior The internet gives her the anonymity to be true to herself, without the possible embarassment of a face to face admission. ^ indeed. I'd tell her you saw it, but let her know it's no big deal. be subtle, and don't make it seem like a main topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CapNColostomy Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 I believe "Dear Abby" would agree that the correct thing to do would be to not mention it at all. If she's really your friend, it shouldn't matter to you anyway. And if she feels like you're really her friend, I'm sure in time she'll tell you on her own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 MySpace is so stupid. I don't know why anyone uses it. I did find something interesting though. At an anime forum I frequent, there's a poster who claims to be a girl. "She" IMs me one day, complaining about something or other. There's a MySpace link in her profile. Out of curiosity, I click it. It links to a profile of some guy named Brett. Same info (birthdate, screen name, speech patterns, affinity for the Spice Girls) as the poster at the forum. I have a good hearty laugh at said impostor. Now I'm just waiting for the right time to let the cat out of the bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 haha that's like the time last year when my mom decided to look my name up on yahoo and found my xanga while i was at basic, and she told me over the phone and i was like cause i didn't want her calling up dr phil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 the immature part of astro apologises, because at the mention of the word lesbian, he becomes like these two clowns http://www.akg.hu/~hamori/beavis&butthead.gif However, adult astro says that you shouldnt dwell on it STTCT.. Sexuality is a very personal thing. She just may not feel comfortable telling you. She's still the same person you respect and admire and thats what you should cherish mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jared Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 i've had a myspace for like a year now....its...sane... http://www.myspace.com/ogsken i'm totally addicted to it....heh...my roomate julie has one too....and most of my friends from school...its pretty cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTeddyPaul Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 I would actually say something to the friend just asking why she never told you. Maybe this will be a whole new level to your relationship. Just me though. I personally love myspace. Found a number of old friends from over 10 years ago. It is a way for me to keep tabs with my friends since in college we all went our own ways. Sure there are freaks and whatnot but the pros def. outweigh the cons. I NEED A NEW PICTURE! - Can I borrow someone camera real quick? http://www.myspace.com/bigteddypaul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alegis Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 I'd talk it over were I in your position, it's giving you a bad feeling and my guess is that's not something she wants. Try to subtly pick up the subject about myspace. 'Saw your page' etc. I've noticed people don't make dramas out of things if you approach it as a simple comment. 'Say I've never known you were a Lesbian. You could have told me that you know, but it doesn't matter' with a sort of smile and elbow 'punch'. 0.02$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 *clicks links* nothin against you guys, but that type of stuff creeps me out... Astro's actual location/address/phone number is only known to about 6 people in the whole world, for reasons Iwont go into no myspace for astro mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 I remember this girl from high school that lived next door to me. She became a lesbian in her sophomore year and at first didn't want to admit it to even her closest friends. Sad thing is, said friends and even family did not like it at first and their best friends even teased her about it, even though she needed all the support she could get. They're perfectly OK with it now, but it hurt me to see how their deep friendship was disrupted by something that trivial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toms Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 is myspace like friendsreunited in the UK? Anyway, i'd just contact her and say you saw her profile on myspace and wanted to get back in touch. Wouldn't bother mentioning the lesbian thing at all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinWalker Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Also, STTC.... Did you consider she may have lied on her My Space account? I'm not sure to what end, but pehaps to have a reason to turn down hords of guys that im her asking for "hook-ups?" Just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_hill987 Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by SkinWalker Also, STTC.... Did you consider she may have lied on her My Space account? I'm not sure to what end, but pehaps to have a reason to turn down hords of guys that im her asking for "hook-ups?" Just a thought. or someone else might have put it on there as a joke. I'm sure it ain't hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Or you can just let it go because something this trivial is really pathetic. If one of my friends turned gay or lesbian, I wouldn't care. They're friends. I say let it go and move on with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acrylic Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by StarWarsPhreak Or you can just let it go because something this trivial is really pathetic. But if one of your close friends never told you, then yeah, it would be kind of a big deal. And plus, it's not like she's not gonna be friends with her friend anymore, it's just the fact that she didn't know for all these years that bugs her. (Am I right? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Yes that's pretty much it. It just bugs. I feel "indifferent" and I'm not mad in the least. More like I'm confused. Like I said we are close - she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. I mean - I just thought that she'd feel free to come to me about this. I'm not judgemental like that. She could have just found out or maybe she just came out and hasn't talked to me yet to tell me. I'm not really sure. I just wanted to post this to get more of my frustration out. I know she's happy etc and that's all that matters. I just I guess I would feel the same way if my Gay friend went Straight on me and didn't tell me? Or if a friend had some life altering experience and left me out of it? You know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acrylic Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by STTCT Yes that's pretty much it. It just bugs. I feel "indifferent" and I'm not mad in the least. More like I'm confused. Like I said we are close - she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. I mean - I just thought that she'd feel free to come to me about this. I'm not judgemental like that. She could have just found out or maybe she just came out and hasn't talked to me yet to tell me. I'm not really sure. I just wanted to post this to get more of my frustration out. I know she's happy etc and that's all that matters. I just I guess I would feel the same way if my Gay friend went Straight on me and didn't tell me? Or if a friend had some life altering experience and left me out of it? You know? I know how you feel. One of my really good friends believed in God and all that stuff, but one day he was like "yeah, I decided to be atheist". It's not like I'm mad, just....confused how he could change his mind suddenly like that. Meh, as long as your friends are happy, it doesnt matter what they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwing Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Heh... actually... I just recently found out through myspace that an acquaintance of mine I've known for ...pretty much longer than anyone else I knew... is a lesbian, too. Didn't feel weird tho since we never talked in-depth about much, tho... just said hi to each other all the time... =) Most likely your friend just never found a way to tell you. She was probably afraid you'd freak out... and you know, it's entirely possible she figured it out about herself after she'd already met you and you'd gotten to know her as a straight 'normal' person. (Oh, and I have become SUCH a myspace whore in the past month or so. XD But I still won't give it out here. PM me if you want it, I suppose... >_>) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by StarWarsPhreak ... If one of my friends turned gay or lesbian, I wouldn't care. ...my dear phreak, has anyone ever told you you are one hunk of hot manmeat mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 Ah but you see Astro, you aren't my friend, and I still don't care. If you're really going to end a friendship on a trivial matter of someone's sexual preferences... I just think that's sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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