Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Think about the other things he reviews, Pottsie. Just be glad he's reviewing one fic from the archives. We really don't have the right to demand (or request, whichever way you want to put it) he review more. I suppose yeah. At least I'm not ungrateful, like those who said "Go Away" in the Poll. I appreciate the work you do Mach. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Hey, mach, I was thinking about this for awhile now and I've finally got around to asking you - if you have the time please review my two fics, you can follow the links in my sig to the Jedi Archives versions, or if you want I will email them to you. Thanks. Check out the Why haven't you reviewed me thread, too. Mach's got instructions there. Hope that helps--Jae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted August 25, 2006 Author Share Posted August 25, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center Star Wars: The Beginning of the Galactic Empire Revanscool Alternate Universe. Set at the end of Star Wars Video Game; What if Anakin had become emperor? The style is haphazard, jumping from place to place, and needs serious editing, and rewriting. The author had an idea, but instead of running with it, seems to have dashed it off, and held it up. The first rule of fiction writing is you must entertain. Slow it down. Like a judo throw, our words are to help the reader go where you want him to go using his own imagination. The Life of Onri Konohomaru/Lord Konohomaru Lord Konohomaru Based on an RPG character: A Jedi trains and falls, all before he is 21. The story needs editing and rewriting to smooth it out. I used to work at the renaissance faire, and the first thing I learned about characterization was KISS. Keep It Simple Silly. Your character has absolutely no development on the emotional or personal level. In ten years he goes from baby to Jedi and in ten more to master. I am sure a being could be born with such capabilities, but to walk on that day does not make sense. A child’s needs before about three days old are not that focused. The idea of the superhuman child is an old one, and everyone who has done it ignores the fact that merely the frustration of not being fed on time, or a dirty diaper would pile bodies up before he is a year old. Go back, and bring the character to life. The Redemption of Dustil Onasi pottsie Set after KOTOR I: Two knights get their own forms of redemption. The style needs only polishing. The author should just remember, slow and steady. The piece is a logical follow on to the KOTOR story and even the arguments are pro forma. Everyone has commented on master Vrook, usually negatively. It wasn’t until I got to Dantooine in TSL that I realized he’s just a cantankerous old fart. Pottsie’s take on him was pure and fun to read. The Jedi Archives The Sith Lord pottsie Set at the end of Jedi Academy: The further adventures of Jaden Korr, now Sith. Pottsie wove the history of 4,000 years together, and did it well. The style needs some work, and editing is always a problem with any writer, but it’s worth the read. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Just a few ideas I had... Darth Clorox 20 ASW4Seven years before the battle between the Yuuzhan Vong and the Republic at Helska IV: Two Jedi are marooned on a planet. More a synopsis than a story. It dragged a bit, but it gives you the idea of how and where the story would go. Imperial Vendetta Braden Dar between ESB and ROTJ told from an Imperial point of view. The story needs editing, especially watching for homonyms. Told in a series of vignettes from different officer’s points of view. A refreshingly good read. Whispers Master Kinnon Three years after the end of the Yuuzhan Vong war: A Jedi and his apprentice pursue a criminal gang. The style is abrupt and has little or no characterization. Go back, slow down, rewrite it and ask yourself, ’is it what I’d want to buy’? By mentally dropping Obi Wan into the lead role, it flows, but the back story on Tobin is so sparse, I had to do something like that to get the story moving. kotorfanmedia Memento mcfinnegan In the aftermath of KOTOR, Revan cries for an old friend. Like a lot of the work on KFM, this is part of what people forget when the write a book. To quote Asimov ‘the enemy is not a villain in his own eyes’ and those people, Vader, Sidious, Malak, might once have been friends. Someone should mourn for the fallen. Reflection RevanandCarth After KOTOR I: A man looks at how his life has changed for the better. A lot of people see Carth and Saul as Ahab and the whale. But unlike Ahab, who I believe would have been a shattered man after the fact, Carth came out of it, and we all know why if your Revan is female. Good work Shadows of Heroines and Heroes, Lady Revan and Jamie Set after KOTOR: The children of Carth and Revan, Bastila and Canderous, go on their own adventures. There was a lot of flak fired off in the first chapter, and I can understand why. The Disciple (Mical) suddenly becomes a child molester. I will not carry that forward except to mention that every child molester I have ever met has that smarmy ‘hail good fellow’ attitude that the Disciple shows. This is not to say that he is one. If you played TSL and used Mira on the excursion when you met him, she reacted like a diabetic going into a sugar coma. He was just too ‘Jedi’ for her. Besides, without getting sex involved, he is already an irritating character and I actually got the mods to have Handmaiden as a character. When I found out it was either or, I cheered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Thanks for the two Reviews mach, although I think I deleted The Redemption of Dustil Onasi. I think those are my best Reviews so far. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 1, 2006 Author Share Posted September 1, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center KOTOR: the Mandalorian Wars Master Vassar Prequels 6 years before KOTOR: A master and his student join the Republic in fighting the Mandalorians. All right, on the writing side, conversation breaks. Like a lot of the kids here, you’re trying to compress the battles into a movie format and it is coming over far too choppy. Go back, reread it, then write it so that is more smooth. On the military style, The most horrific warriors ever fought were the Mongols, and they didn’t go into towns and have mass executions unless the enemy resisted them for too long. Taris from all accounts had minimal defenses, and blasting their way in and having mass executions would be unnecessary. Once an enemy controls the high orbitals, the orbits where they can hit anywhere they damn well please with impunity, any organized ground operations are dead. Second, you have A: The Jedi entering the war four years too early, and B: One hell of a target of opportunity in orbit with Leviathan. The enemy fleet is not going to stooge around while a cruiser sits in orbit. At the start of the war, every ship is precious and everyone you kill now is something the enemy must replace. It would be like the Japanese in the Philippines ignoring the USS Lexington which steams into harbor to pick up MacArthur. Davik Kang : Rise to Power T.Nova 30+ years before KOTOR: A young man takes his first steps toward becoming a mob boss. The way the scene begins as the author implied, suggests the young Vito Corleone of the Godfather. He doesn’t set out to be the bad guy, he gets into it to get out of grinding poverty. The style is a bit hesitant, but that is something time and avid readers will cure. The gritty life of the Undercity is portrayed only in passing, but is still there for those who have played the game to feel. Very well done all told. Black Star: North Star Home Shadda Set during the Clone wars: A thousand Jedi are sent to rescue a planetary population. I had to stop before I had finished the second chapter because on the technical side, you need to work on it. The writing is good, and just needs some fine tuning. But think about this: If the people living on the planet have been there more than a decade or so, you’re looking at over 10,000 people. That will double after every two decades so after a century there would be almost a million there. Yet your Republic command sends one ship. I know it is a Star Destroyer, but even that ship is not going to have enough lift to take out more than 10 to 12 thousand people. If putting a thousand people aboard makes it crowded (Your own inference) what is another ten to a dozen thousand going to do? When the US evacuated the Embassy personnel from Saigon in 1975 they sent two carriers (One a Marine Helicopter carrier) and full escorts, and still had to throw aircraft over the side to make room. Plus in the middle of a full scale war, with only approximately 10,000 Jedi to cover the entire Republic of 100,000 planets, you are expending ten percent of them on this one mission. The numbers do not make sense. The Jedi Archives Star Wars: Defiance Ztalker Set in the interim between a New Hope and the Empire Strikes back, Luke Skywalker asks an intelligence agent to go on a very personal mission. The style needs work since you tend to jump from present to past tense as you do it. (Uses instead of used, that kind of thing). But nothing a good edit won’t cure. The story is one that would have been told eventually, so it is timely and works well. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater A Galaxy Forgotten... Jedi Poo A Jedi hunted by the Empire finds herself and her crew on Earth. The writing is a bit stilted, but only need polish to shine. However the scroll on Star Wars always begins A long time ago in a Galaxy far far away... 1: What time period did they land here? Are they going to be greeted by cave men Ashiburnipal or George W Bush? 2: Worm hole theory postulates jumping from place to place and even time to time, but the nearest galaxy is 2 million light years away. No wormhole theory so far put forward suggests intergalactic travel. The long road back Zane Marit Sequel to A Destiny Changed Set during the beginning of the Imperial period: A crime scene seen through the eyes of the Detective investigating, and the Jedi that has caused it. The scene is well done at the start, and Zane’s work is worth every second. Having the old cop trying to figure out what is happening is perfect. Raqak's Requeim Shistavanen Jedi Set during the beginning of the Imperial period: Vader hunts one of the remaining Jedi and a Senator that has fled. The style needs work mainly because the author is in love with run on sentences. Run ons are when you want to say a lot, but don’t want to stop. They are a pain for the reader because you end up with more than one subject in the sentence, and it is confusing. Slow down, break those sentences into a more flowing format. The subject matter is obvious, but well done. The old man still trying to bring Vader back to the light is a perfect Jedi to the end. kotorfanmedia Kat’s Kotor retell Part One aka somedays you should just stay in bed Kattalez Retelling of the KOTOR story by another author: The style is crisp and clean, and the idea of her starting as an amnesiac is good because few people go there. Trask is not a two dimensional target traipsing along with her, and her own irritation with his solicitousness give her depth. Well worth the read. Laughter from the Sky JediDWH After the battle of the Star Forge: The crew of Ebon Hawk have a fireside party. The style is good, and making a song for Mandalore that harkens back to Gilbert and Sullivan worked. Every character fir in well, and even having Carth and Canderous unwilling to get into the fun fits well. Worth a look as all JediDWH’s work has been so far. May the Farce Be with You Too Jiara The landing on the Rakata Homeworld, but not exactly what you would expect... I am never surprised by Jiara’s work but she did it this time. This is a farce from beginning. From the arrival of Mr. Rourke from Fantasy Island to the wreck of the SS Minnow, I was sitting there stunned, trying to figure out what she had been smoking when the ending arrived. Jiara’s work is always worth a read. Even when it confuses you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center Clone Trooper Jedi Lord Konohomaru Set during Star Wars Battlefronts: A young clone trooper is trained in the force. I think everything necessary for constructive criticism has been said by others, but I will add this note: You are still rushing the story kid. If you were writing a script I would say the same, even though your style fits that format much better. The original fight scene, where he’s operating like a trooper rather than a Jedi would have taken two pages in script format, yet you still compressed it to less than one. You’re trying to keep up with the story in your head, and we have trouble keeping up. I was confused, as others were, with what is actually occurring. A normal genetic boy operating with the clone troopers (Which by definition, would have made him unacceptable because he could not have their skill levels) who is also a Jedi but in hiding? From there, I must admit, I became even more confused. Slow down. The Second Crusade RagingHippy212 Set in the Interim between KOTOR and TSL: The team once led by Revan is caught between the Sith and a Vengeful Crime Lord. All right, constructive criticism time. The pacing is excellent, there are problems with spelling and using the wrong words, but that is an editing problem. However you have taken a character that refuses to kill except when necessary (Mira by my estimate at about 16) and have her reacting as she would after meeting the Exile, which won’t happen for about five years. That is also minor. However a criminal organization is not organized like a military one. Having a warship might fly, but a full ground/air component does not. Even the Russian Mafiya does not run full scale combat units. If the ‘mob’ tried to attack a military unit, it would be slaughtered, and if they had such units, the governments would know it. However I love the way it is going even with those comments... Knights of the Old Republic: Into the Darkness The Doctor After killing Malak, Darth Revan now turns his attentions to the Republic again... Well written. The scenes play out well, and fit what I would have assumed would have happened. My only problem, Doc, is with homonyms; It is hole in the head, not whole. The Jedi Archives Darkness Rising Pottsie Set after TSL: The Exile and company find themselves on yet another mission. A very well done piece, Pottsie. I don’t have time to read it all, but like some work here, I wish I did. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater REDEMPTION Shistavanen Jedi Set during Return of the Jedi. An assault team rescues a prisoner. The style is good, the story well rounded, though there are editing problems. Worth a look. Confrontation With A Jedi Shistavanen Jedi Set one year after Return of the Sith: The aftermath of the Jedi murders seen through the bad guy’s eyes. Well done. The story is first person and flows smoothly. The author made a valid point by writing the entire piece from the view of what all of us would call the bad guys. Most of us do not try to cross over and take the opposite view, and as an exercise, it is well done and sometimes necessary. As I quoted Isaac Asimov previously in another posting, the enemy is not a villain in his own eyes. Earthling Jedi JediMasterJamz A young boy on Earth gets a chance to be a Jedi Very well done, told in the abrupt style you would expect from a 16 or seventeen year old kid as the main character is. The only problem with this is that the beginning of every SW book starts with; A long time ago in a Galaxy far far away... Unlike a lot of Sci Fi, Star Wars is set in one galaxy, and according to canon, it is not this one. A minor stumbling block for me... kotorfanmedia Keeping Promises Belladonna Set prior to the return of the Exile to Malachor; Revan where ever she may be hears Carth’s gentle plea. The scene is perfect, and you can feel the angst Revan and the Exile have, along with Carth’s loneliness. Very well done! Falling away Lady Revan After KOTOR: Revan makes a decision, and gives life to another. A poignant story, and one that struck deep into how we all feel about a light side female Revan. Worth more than a second look, even if it is short. Warrior’s Heart CanderousOrdo LVR Set on Kashyyyk during KOTOR: Revan has a vision, then must return with Canderous to deal with Jagi. The story moves quickly, and while I was a bit confused by the vision, it pulled me along. I assume it links to the part of her life that leads to her leaving before the Exile returns. The style is brisk, but clear, and the characters are fleshed out by the words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Thanks for the Review Mach. My best Review yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 15, 2006 Author Share Posted September 15, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center Red Skies smsummers Prequel to KOTOR: Glimpses of the beginning of the Jedi Civil War The biggest problems are that you are trying to rush the story, compressing what should be several chapters into your first post. Spelling, and grammar needs work, and the scenes do not flow. On the technical side, ‘interceptor’ and ‘capital’ ship are types, not classes. Smaller ship, specifically fighter aircraft were called interceptors, (a P (For Pursuit) 51 is an interceptor for example) anything from heavy cruiser up is a capital ship, (A Northhampton Class Heavy cruiser for instance) that kind of thing. Knights of the Old Republic: The Shadow War urbanknight Set 6 months after KOTOR II The only problem I see is compressing what should have been about two chapters into one. It might just be me, but the discussion between the main character and Bastila should have been chapter 2, and the arrival of Kelborn the start of the third. Of course that means you would have to fill it out a bit. All other nasty commentary has been handled by others, and all of them concentrated on the tense. It didn’t bother me, though, so go with what feels good. Heart of the Guardian JediMaster12 Set during Revan’s lifetime, no specific dates given: A young boy learns from a Jedi master. The story is rather bland, but kept me interested. It needs some work, but not enough to complain. The Jedi Archives Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Heroes Jason Skywalker Set After the events of Jedi Academy: A team is sent on a new mission. The style is a bit forced as if you’re just playing the game and describing it. First, Jason, I don’t say this very often, but you’re being too descriptive of the combat scenes. If you watch say the confrontation between the Jedi and Darth Maul, you will see a flurry of strokes, but only a professional fencer or Kendo teacher would be able to describe every move, but you’re trying. Most of the people who write Star Wars are not that competent with weapons, and the readers will find themselves bogged down if they haven‘t played the game. After all, except for the description given in the game, what is the difference between medium and hard? Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Volunteer Clone JediMasterJamz A volunteer in the Grand Army of the Republic on a typical mission. Spelling and grammar ar the biggest problems. However one thing doesn’t gel. First, while the clones are the bulk of the ground troops, I seriously doubt they were the only troops, so calling him a ‘volunteer clone’ isn’t correct. As for keeping up with the clones themselves, you have to remember that the clones were given literally hardwired training, which can’t be done with someone raised in the typical human manner. Also, ship design is not like the transformer toys. To create what you have, which is a fighter that can spilt in half smacks of such a thing. A Bad Run TuskenRaider1 A look at the seamier side of the Galaxy as a captain is hired for a run. The style is good the basic story interesting enough to keep the reader going. Keep it up. The Ways of the Smuggler jOsh1433 A young pilot gets the chance at a lifelong dream with a band of smugglers. The basic premise is kind of weak, having a group of professionals simply hire some kid that comes by as it were. If that part of the story were expanded, it would work a lot better. kotorfanmedia Dark Lord’s Redemption, Chapter 1 Out To Lunch Retelling of the initial battle aboard Endar Spire The style is irreverent, and funny without effort. The description of Trask was superb, and you can almost see him prancing about trying to impress the main character; and failing miserably. There is No Such Thing as Luck, Chapter 1 fanficfan Retelling beginning before attack on the Endar Spire The byplay is excellent, and as others have pointed out, the idea that Trask and the main character have a past was interesting. The characters comes across fully fleshed, and totally believable. Annoy Atris Onasi Aboard Ebon Hawk, Mission falls back on the fastest way to annoy an adult. I read this, then had to go back and read it again. Considering Mission is the one who usually tries to cheer everybody up, the idea that she is going to go out of her way to annoy everyone instead was a good change of pace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Nice, my first review. Mach says to be less descriptive and Jae to be a little more descriptive. Anyways, thanks for the advice Mach. I'll see if my upcoming fic is better. I was talking about the overall battle scenes, rather than the specific lightsaber duels. Thought I'd better clear that up. --Jae @ Jae: Ah, alright then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Nice, my first review. Mach says to be less descriptive and Jae to be a little more descriptive. Anyways, thanks for the advice Mach. I'll see if my upcoming fic is better. Well it was better than my first Review (Many many pages back). Well somethings have either too much description (Making the reader bored) or little description (Too boring). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 15, 2006 Author Share Posted September 15, 2006 Nice, my first review. Mach says to be less descriptive and Jae to be a little more descriptive. Anyways, thanks for the advice Mach. I'll see if my upcoming fic is better. I was talking about the overall battle scenes, rather than the specific lightsaber duels. Thought I'd better clear that up. --Jae I was speaking of the exact same thing. I was reminded reading the section of the Princess Bride duel between the man in black and Inigo Montoya name dropping 16th century styles as they battled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I was speaking of the exact same thing. I was reminded reading the section of the Princess Bride duel between the man in black and Inigo Montoya name dropping 16th century styles as they battled. I was thinking more along the lines of scenery, sounds of battle, explosions, how the character feels--fear? Excitement? Anger? Does he say anything to his buddies? Does he get hurt? What does he see and hear? That kind of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 So mach thinks I'm bland now? Well, we have our good days and our bad days. Thanks for the review mach. It was my first attempt at a narrative in the first person. It was also an attempt at creating a culture that exists outside of known space. I was surprised it came out as well as it did. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Coruscant Entertainment Center Revan's Descendant Pottsie 36 years before the Phantom menace: A Jedi discovers a young girl being served up to a Rancor. The plot line is unfortunately too close to ROTJ for my comfort, but I can live with that. The characterization is good, the style is getting better. The only real problem I have with it Pottsie is that I can’t see the Jedi Order acting as a savings and loan. If you compare the society to the middle ages, you only had two groups of people loaning money, the church and the Jews. But the church was larger and much more respected at that time than the Jedi are. Squad Alpha TruYuri Set during the period of Attack of the Clones: A clone squad faces combat on Geonosis. The style is good and clean, the action well laid out and described. the only problems were grammar and word usage, it’s ‘hole’ instead of whole, that kind of thing. My only technical notes are that your squad is kind of light (Average squads are 15 and a commando unit is usually six to eight) and no one is going to chose a leader at the start of a mission. The Kamino should have been watching and assigned someone long before that occurred. More importantly, democratic systems haven’t been used (At least in the US) since the American Civil War. Primarily because the most popular person is not always the best leader. But that is no biggie. Shattered Love, Shattered Faith The Doctor During the war of Exar Kun, Young Jolee Bindo is called to account for his actions. The style is pure Doc, and flows smoothly. The characterization is good, the scenes crisp and clean. A pure Joy to read. There isn’t much written so far that gives background on the characters in KOTOR. Bastila’s is merely a few scenes, as is Carth’s. Jolee always struck me as the world weary type, and if you’ve read my KOTOR novel, you can see I cut him some slack because of it. If this had occurred to my Jolee, I don’t think he would have been as willing to consider love important. The Jedi Archives Misplaced Trust The Doctor Before KOTOR: Carth and Saul Karath talk before Saul leaves to join the Sith. Everything I said above about the Doctor’s work should go here as well. The mood is excellent, the conversation almost what I would have anticipated. My only problem is the time line. According to KOTOR the Mandalorian Wars began 20 years after the war of Exar Kun, with a twelve year period of gobbling up the rim before attacking. The Jedi came into the war after four years, and the war ended four years later. At least that is the way I mentally laid it out. Perhaps I am wrong, but that bothered me. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Lando Starfalon, Jedi Marko Ragnos Set during the battle of Geonosis: A Jedi leads clones in a desperate battle. The problems with the work are easy to correct. First, the author tends to forget conversation breaks. Second, words are used incorrectly, such as lead instead of led, layed instead of laid, and the grammar needs work. My only technical complaint is that when you send someone on a mission (Capturing an enemy ship) was he chosen because he was the closest unit? Or because he’s the main character? Imperial Commandos Marko Ragnos Three Years after Revenge of the Sith: A squad from the clone wars gets back together for a new mission. The same comments about editing and grammar from above apply. Still looking for conversation breaks... Revenge TuskenRaider1 After the Yuuzhan Vong War: A new group begins fomenting rebellion. The style is good, the scenes well written. There are editing problems, but nothing major. kotorfanmedia Last to the Battle Grimrabbit The events after KOTOR In a pirate motif. The style is a bit confusing, but fun anyway. My only complaint is the same one I have when people inject Earth into Star War; Morgan and Grey were Earth pirates. How does ‘long ago in a galaxy far far away fit into that? Easy Decisions, Harder Consequences iisemily The events after KOTOR In a pirate motif. Like the previous work, for some reason a pirate motif captured the site. But my question above still remains. Prelude to Darkness Grimrabbit Like the previous work, for some reason a pirate motif captured the site. But my question above still remains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Seriously mach, I don't know how you manage to get a hold of my deleted Fics. An okay review though. The reason it is bad is because I didn't continue it. Also, I've noticed you do reviews every Friday. Do you always do it then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Seriously mach, I don't know how you manage to get a hold of my deleted Fics. An okay review though. The reason it is bad is because I didn't continue it. Also, I've noticed you do reviews every Friday. Do you always do it then? First, you might have deleted them but they are still on the site. As an aside there are three versions of my 'The Beginning' for some reason. You'll have to talk to a mod to get them removed. My timing depends on my schedule. Sometimes I take a few hours in a single day, or spread it out through the week. I post them on Friday because I have always posted them then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 I looked at the dates/categories of the 3 kfm submissions--looks like they all could have been for the Sept. '05 Duelling circle challenge on 'Crossovers' (crossing Kotor characters with some other story/movie, like putting Kotor characters in the Pirates of the Carribbean or putting characters from CSI into the Kotor universe), which could explain why they are all 'pirate-y'. mach--let me know which versions you want deleted and I can do that. @Pottsie--moderators can 'see' deleted threads/posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Actually on kotorfanmedia, all the fics are in a pirate motiff in honor of talk like a pirate day which was Sept 19. They haven't changed the fics back to normal yet. Really all the pirate talk is driving me crazy. Savvy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 I looked at the dates/categories of the 3 kfm submissions--looks like they all could have been for the Sept. '05 Duelling circle challenge on 'Crossovers' (crossing Kotor characters with some other story/movie, like putting Kotor characters in the Pirates of the Carribbean or putting characters from CSI into the Kotor universe), which could explain why they are all 'pirate-y'. mach--let me know which versions you want deleted and I can do that. @Pottsie--moderators can 'see' deleted threads/posts. It isn't a matter of deleting them. As a member not a mod of korofanmedia, I am sick and tired of beating my head against the moderator's wall. Both you and Jiara have asked me to make a comment regarding this, and this is my response. I didn't know that kotorfanmedia had a 'pirate day motif' and because of that I came in to find it as the stories were. The original postings are intact, and will be reset the next time their system reboots. For the ones that were reviewed, I will review you again and post them with a comment as to why I am reposting them at a later date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Thanks for the reviews, Mach. I'm aware that the timeline in Misplaced Trust is a little off. Sorry about that. I just didn't think it was worth a re-write to fix it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 Thanks for the reviews, Mach. I'm aware that the timeline in Misplaced Trust is a little off. Sorry about that. I just didn't think it was worth a re-write to fix it... No worries, Doc. I just pointed it out because I thought you'd shaved a few years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 This isn't entirely on-topic, but at SWKnights you said someone ripped off your bank account. My sympathies. That would be awful to say the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 This isn't entirely on-topic, but at SWKnights you said someone ripped off your bank account. My sympathies. That would be awful to say the least. The worst is that the bank started out completely unsympathetic. Their comment was that 'if' we could prove fraud, we 'might' get our money back. That changed about noon when the police checked the ATM, and found that the perp had tried to get a thousand, and when it refused, stepped down a hundred at a time until it finally gave him some money. Then he waited unti the ATM recycled, and tagged the rest. So yeah, they now admit it's fraud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 How horrid. I hope you get your money back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 The worst is that the bank started out completely unsympathetic. Their comment was that 'if' we could prove fraud, we 'might' get our money back. In addition to all the steps on preventing fraud, I'd also find a new bank in that case. When someone stole my wallet, my bank didn't even question it--they shut down the account the moment I called and simply asked me if x, y, and z that came in later on my account were mine or the perp's. We probably don't want to know how they got your PIN number along with your card...unless it's something fascinating. Both you and Jiara have asked me to make a comment regarding this, and this is my response. I didn't know that kotorfanmedia had a 'pirate day motif' and because of that I came in to find it as the stories were. Actually, my comment was pure conjecture. I saw that one of them was a DCC fic and from the dates on the other 2 figured they might be as well. I didn't know they had a special 'Pirate Day' feature, either. I'm afraid to ask how they managed to change that many.... mach, I'm a bit confused--are you talking about your deleting your extra Kotor story threads here or at kfm? I can do something about the ones here but not at kfm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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