The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[CommanderQ]

Granted, fine, I shall stop the bagpipe music, and pick up my accordian.

 

I wish you'd stop insulting the instruments!!

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but now your mother, on mother's day no less, becomes the target of continuous insults.

 

I wish the sun were red.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but it turns out red isn't better than dead. =/

 

I wish biology were an interesting subject.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, but unfortunately the primary subject of study is you and you are taken right on the spot and dissected.

 

I wish Luke wasn't such a whiny little bitch.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, now he's a whiny big bitch and always on your @ss.

 

I wish we could travel faster than light speed.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but we can't control where we go, therefore you crash into a wall, and it falls. On you. A thousand pounds of bricks.

 

I wish we had super-strength.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but proportionally, it all remains the same.

 

I wish I could meet R.A. Salvatore.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, but unfortunately it's during a compromising moment you were having while having a little fun in his hotel room that you did not realize was his.

 

I wish there was a video of Al Franken getting kicked by a horse during one of his speeches for farm and agriculture.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but achilles keeps it in his vault where no one can see it.

 

I wish Nancy Pelosi got thrown out of office for sedition.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, but unfortunately she ends up serving you your next meal at dairy queen and botching it.

 

 

Granted, but achilles keeps it in his vault where no one can see it.

 

 

 

I wish ugly people all of a sudden became as hot and attractive as celebs so that there are not human eyesores.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but now everyone is ugly and doesn't know it. Thanks.

 

I wish GTA would pick on someone else.

 

*references achilles reply to you re Al Franken in another thread.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, but now you'll still pick on jobo the horse.

 

Dammit Commander, I want fireworks, NOW!

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but you're sitting in the middle of the warehouse when they go off. See ya.... your smoking corpse in hell, that is.

 

I wish for nothing.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted. Darth Nihilus.

 

I wish Commander would take a LAA/Ti and go assault the coruscant zoo.

[Totenkopf]

He does, but when he accidently kills all the monkeys in the zoo, your monkey goes apesh*t and starts defecating right on your head. I told you to cut down those trees in your yard....

 

 

I wish I never got involved in this.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, but now you go home and the monkey army now bored of me decides to have a dead baby kicking contest in your front yard.

 

I wish Morrigan Aensland was real and that she morphed into a pet rat for me.

[Totenkopf]

She does, but she bites your junk off in a fit of pique when you try to crap in the toilet, failing to notice she's taking a swim. poor GTA..

 

I wish your rat would put that on Youtube.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted but b/c she didn't aim the webcam w/ no sound correctly, all you saw was a wall. And now I go sew my junk back on.

 

I wish Mortal Kombat would make a game comparable to SF4 and the Smackdown series all in one... EDIT: And it had the special bouncing boobiez from hell movesets for falls and attacks.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but your eyes soon fall out of your head from staring too hard at the boobiez.

 

I wish I hadn't posted here.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but that means you never made the wish to never post here, resulting in you having no reason not to.

 

I wish Project Natal was ready.

[Darth Avlectus]

^^^Granted but everyone suddenly loses interest in it including you so that good work goes to waste.

 

 

I wish there was now a sequel to dumb and dumber instead of just a prequel.

[Totenkopf]

There is, but it's so dumb that everyone blames you and hunts you down.

 

I wish people weren't so stupid.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, one person at a time Red fixes that, but after about person 783, his foot breaks off. So the job is only partially done.

 

 

I wish the dog my pal stoner jimmy owned didn't have an exploding anal blister problem.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but now it has an exploding "doodie" problem everytime it gets near you.

 

I wish Red kicked Kelso's ass so hard he (Kelso) became impotent.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, but unfortunately there is still Viagra.

 

I wish my sister didn't look like Hitomi from DOA but rather just plain. I'm getting tired of telling dorks to go home b/c they have been rejected.