Inyri Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 How did this turn from a serious thread to an 'omg teen drama' thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 sithy we need to get sloshed and have a lightsaber duel Remember the time those guys did that with those flourescent light tubes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Remember the time those guys did that with those flourescent light tubes? yeh we need to get those new ones they're advertising on cartoon network now where the stick part shoots out when you hit the button Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 yeh we need to get those new ones they're advertising on cartoon network now where the stick part shoots out when you hit the button Absolutely, we can be the coolest kids on the block. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litofsky Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I also smoke pot and browse 4chan, jmac and Samuel Dravis were there. Hm. I have no trouble believing the above statement. How did this turn from a serious thread to an 'omg teen drama' thread? Perhaps because being stupid/funny is easier than facing reality? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 To get this thread back on topic now since the quelling of teen angst, Tommycat, I'm very sorry to hear what happened. The only thing you can do is live your life as I stated before. I'm sure you know as well as I that this isn't the first, nor will it be the last difficulty life throws in the mix. You've made it this far, I'm sure you can make it farther. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1183 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 ya well call me a stupid immature teenage or whatever but i recently went through a break up we were going out for about a year then her ex started saying lies and rumors and messed* everything up but i havent really got over her but what i do to feel better is blare Pantera,metallica, ozzy, etc. and play football and take my pain/anger out on the other team or i go to the gym and work the bag for a while. but as for your divorce im sorry my parents got a divorce about 3 years ago and my life has been crap* since then...well good luck tommycat * = Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommycat Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well I am over her. Actually I spent a bit of time looking for what I did wrong. I analyzed myself first, then admitted to myself that while I may not have been the greatest of husbands, it doesn't mean that I should have been disrespected in such a fashion. I just wanted to see if others had similar experiences. Having great friends, and while not generally the closest, the most understanding family. As for my relationship wth her, It's over. She still wants to be friends, which I am having a hard time with... Why is it they always want to be your friend after they rip out your heart and stomp on your guts? But as for the cheating I have forgiven her for it. I won't forget it. Forgetting it is the easiest way to allow yourself to fall into that same trap again. I've already moved out, the divorce is filed, and I've got myself a spiffy appartment... Now I need furniture haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 But as for the cheating I have forgiven her for it. I won't forget it. Forgetting it is the easiest way to allow yourself to fall into that same trap again. There's where danger lies. If you don't let such thoughts leave you mind sometime, you may be on serious risk of never being happy again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1183 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 actually no ctrl alt del if you forget about all of it tommycat is right you just fall into the trap again dont forget just find someone else (easier said then done) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Not really. What you'd be letting go is the particular betrayal. The knoledge he forcibly earned with this unpleasant experience will remain for good. No relationship endures without confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommycat Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 There's where danger lies. If you don't let such thoughts leave you mind sometime, you may be on serious risk of never being happy again. Nope. I disagree. Don't forget it, but just do not dwell on it. If you're always looking backwards, you risk running into a tree. Forgetting it completely is what lets you fall into a trap. Be aware of the signs. Know what to look for. Just don't start out with assuming they are going to do the same to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Don't forget it, but just do not dwell on it. Yeah, that's what I clarificated on the post before yours. Each case's a case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedak Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 The best way to get over somebody (as a male) is to disconnect from them. Don't talk to them, don't message them, don't contact them in any way, shape, or form. As a female, when you break-up with a guy you should have nothing to do with them, don't be their friend. The reason is that for guys, when a girl breaks up with you, you probably still have some kind of feelings for her. Staying friends with an ex-lover would be the worst thing to do because when you're her friend you still want to be with her, and being friends gives you a little glimmer of hope that you could get back together with her. Let me be the first to tell you that it won't most likely happen. Even if it does happen (it has for me) the relationship will go to pots once again. Heed my advice. "A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror. As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment." P.S My ex-girlfriend is a whore and I think she's possed by some sort of demon. That is all, carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litofsky Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 P.S My ex-girlfriend is a whore and I think she's possed by some sort of demon. That is all, carry on. Didn't you just say that you broke up with her (or she broke up with you), and then you got back together? ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedak Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Didn't you just say that you broke up with her (or she broke up with you), and then you got back together? ... No no, we were dating on and off for over a year (8 times to be exact). We're over now though. And the point was to learn from my mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litofsky Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 ...until you start dating her again. But, back on topic, I'm glad that you've moved on, Tommycat. It's a first step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedak Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 ...until you start dating her again. Impossible. But, back on topic, I'm glad that you've moved on, Tommycat. It's a first step. This all was kind of on topic. Anyways, sorry that happened to ya Tommycat. Hope my advice helped (btw, my advice was taken from somewhere else, it wasn't the conclusion I came up with by myself. It's the advice that helped me). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthAve Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 True, pure, concentrated drama is found at my school. If you walk past the Cheerleader's table at my school, you'll probably hear something like this: "Oh my gawd, did you hear? Brent cheated on Katie with her best friend, Sam. I wonder waht the bebeh will look leik?" The cheerleaders at my school fenced me off during the game tonight. I'm the mascot, who has to hang with the cheerleaders, and they fenced me off, which hurt my feelings really bad.... How this related to the topic: I'm so over them. I wanna hang out with the band, cause the band is better in every way possible to be better. Also, I moved on from Mike by asking someone else to Homecoming. :/ There ya go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Wait, I think I saw this in Degrassi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Wait, I think I saw this in Degrassi. Teenage angst is a serious danger in today's world, and is not to be taken lightly. When I was in a similar situation, I dealt with it by developing a dangerously obsessive and hideously inappropriate crush on a female friend, and ended up nearly destroying our friendship. A few of my guy friends had an intervention of sorts, and managed to rip my head out of my tushy in time to stop me from causing myself any long-term damage. After that, things just got easier. *shrug* That's one thing from high school I won't miss - all the drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommycat Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Thanks for the kind words guys, but my intention on this thread was to see how others dealt with it. I must be pretty resiliant. I seem to be fine. It's been less than a month, and I'm better. It kinda hurts not ahving the kids around, but not having the wife, not so upset... To be honest, with her having a DUI, wrecking a $20000 vehicle, drug abuse, and several other things, I'm far better off. Adding the cheating on top just adds a little salt. We would likely have split up even without the cheating. Maybe that's why I don't feel so bad about it. Maybe it's because every girl I have ever been exclusive with has eventually cheated on me. Admittedly the others had more reasonable excuses... High school sweetheart: She cheated on me after I left to join the Navy. Understandable because I was several thousand miles away. Fiance when I was in the Navy: Slept around on me while I was out at sea. Again understandable because I was several thousand miles away. The woman after that: Welll.... That one's a long story. But She definately traded up from me haha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedak Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 You'll find a good one bro. I'd reccomend therapy, not because anything is wrong with you, but because therapy is always good for dealing with these things, and it might even be helpful for when you start dating again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommycat Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Meh, I'm sure. Not too worried about whether I'll find the right one eventually. Every event in life is a lesson. This one taught me that allowing myself to change too much would eventually push her away. I went from a wild, drinking, active, crazy band member, to a straight, dedicated, workaholic. When I quit the band for her, I lost something of myself. When I gave up the hot rod I was building for her, I lost more of myself. Eventually I had lost too much of myself and became a different person. Maybe even a more mature person. She never asked me to be that person, but I became him because of the things I had given up. I even think part of me resented it a little. Quite possibly I wanted her to change some of her wilder ways because I had given up so much for her. Instead the more I gave up the wilder she got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astrotoy7 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 I wouldnt recommend my solution to this problem when I went through this for the first time... I was 19 at the time, she was 28. 110 Proof Rocket Fuel I was "deeply in lust love" and (secretly)dating one of my supervisors in uni. After a year of cavorting, she informed me that she was had been offered 3 year research fellowship in England at Eton. Even despite my lusts, I knew it was too good an opportunity to let go. We weren't interested in a long distance thing, so we called it off. It was a very painful 12 months, but with a great counsellor(just a chance to chat about really) and putting a bit more energy into other stuff I was involved in, I came out OK, and havent drunk since either. I have come across her once since her return, and despite all my usual confidence and braggadocio, I was a jelly like mess and couldnt even speak properly. There was part of my brain saying "WTF You Wuss!" but the heart had dominion... so yeah, dont do anything silly, just find someone you trust to talk about it, and get stuck into some hobbies/study/work etc.. good luck mtfbwya PS- @sithy theres no need to be so dismissive(and unhelpful) about it. We have all had our share of relationship dramas, have we not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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