Ahto Presidency Campaign 2008: Candidacy Signup

[Darth InSidious]

My fellow Ahtonians:

 

Four score and twenty months ago, our forebears set up this forum in freedom in freedom and peace. Much has rocked that stability, but we have persevered, and in the eyes of Almighty God, have prospered. But while our democracy has prospered, it is time for change. The recent wave of violence in Kavar Square is evidence of this. And so, my fellow Ahtonians, I call upon all upstanding members to vote in this election for the first President of Ahto, and for candidates, their running-mates and parties, to step forward forthwith, for this campaign.

 

All candidates are to present themselves, their running-mates, their party and their manifestos here.

 

Please remember electoral college decree 12; no candidate is to attempt to use emoticons for their party.

 

Name: Darth InSidious, alias DI, alias Insidious, alias Darth, alias Darathy

Party: Sith Supremacists for Progress Party

Running-Mate: Ender "Montu" Wiggin

Manifesto: We of the SSPP stand for CHANGE, for HOPE and fore a bright dawn on the world of tomorrow, while always remembering our past. We will throw off the shackles of what bound us, and rejoice in what liberated us. We believe that we must move forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

 

Slogans: LET US ONCE MORE WEAR THE ERMINE OF THE NORTH

SSPP: You know it makes sense.

Sith Supremacists: Better than lipstick on a domesticated animal of your choice.

 

"Maybe,

You'll think of me,

When you are all alone..."

 

EDIT: Since the sudden, and tragic, demise of Mr. M.G. Nails, Mr. E. Wiggin has stepped up as a replacement for my running-mate.

[Litofsky]

Hail, fellow Ahtonauts! I hereby present myself as a candidate for the Presidency of Ahto.

 

Name: Litofsky

Party: Pharaonism Party of the United Human Alliance

Running Mate: TBD

Manifesto: Hail, Ahtonauts! We here at the PPoUHA propose that the greedy governments of today be abolished in favor of the return to a smooth running bureaucracy! "How," you might ask, "can a bureaucracy run smoothly?" Well, here at the PPoUHA, we support that a Pharaoh rule, with a Senate to oversee his/her actions and help create laws. With Pharaohs elected from the most effective Senator, the PPoUHA ensure that Humanity will run smoothly, and that you shall achieve true pleasure!

 

Party Promises: In an effort to surround myself with experienced, knowledgeable members of LucasForums, should I be elected, I have promised Her Evil Mistress, Darth333, and His Royalness, Darth InSidious, positions in my Cabinet (Secretary of State and Defense, respectively). They shall help me govern Ahto sagaciously!

 

Slogan(s): All hail Pharaoh!

Glory be unto s/he!

Hedonism, for the win!

 

EDIT: My support now goes to Darathy. Victory to the SSPP!

[El Sitherino]

I am Sitherino. I am hereby announcing my candidacy for the Presidency of the Ahtonian people, I hope with such a position I may make real and positive change for the community.

[Darth333]

Dear fellow swk members,

 

As reformed (and unrepented) evil overlords, we know what’s good for you (and for us)! In the past, we have protected you, our loyal servants, against alien invasions, Jedi, droid, heroes, Sith, gizka and even dragonflies armies, etc (throw in everything you want here except our names).

 

We have built the swk continent (or is it country?... ask either Palin or my running mate) out of the Matrix and offered you a place to post your ideas, evil or not. You know what we are capable of! We also both have substantial international experience too (I swear that we can both see the Swamp from where we are!)

 

My running mate tk102 is also capable of the most nerdy tricks ever...see for yourselves: here and here !

 

LeXX, on the other hand, is excellent at shooting wolves from a helicopter (if spaceship).

 

 

Name: Darth333, triplethree, deethree, d3, the candy nerd

 

Party: People’s Party of SWK

 

Running mates:

tk102

LeXX

 

Manifesto: (note : it will change according to your wishes…we are retirees after all and, in addition to experience, we have plenty of time on your hands to adapt it according to the needs of the campaign as we you wish!)

 

However, in short (and for now), we promise power for everyone (everyone gets admin powers to ensure peace by whatever means they wish! – as retired overlords, we get to watch for our own enjoyment - ).

 

We also promise to establish a monarchy: think about it! It also means no more elections and/or election threads! (since you also get the possibility to bash each other's skulls ensure peace and prosperity as you want, it's the best of both worlds!)

 

Edit: All Ahtonauts will also become Ubernauts!

 

If you vote for us, you will also have a chance to win this wonderful nerdy toilet to allow you to browse you favorite forum at any time while staying in shape (or drinking beer if you are of age)! *

 

 

Slogans: p0w3h for everyone and peace for us!

Athonauts to Ubernauts!

KSE - Knowledge and Satisfaction for Everyone!

 

Link to tk102's introductory speech..

 

 

*subject to availability and our own will

[jrrtoken]

Greeting fellow comrades!

 

Name: PastramiX, the only Master Control Program

 

Party: Sexologist's United Communist Consulate Utilizing Bestial Instinct, aka, SUCCUBI

 

Running Mate: In old country, we no has mate for running, we has self.

 

Manifesto: Abortions for some, miniature Athonian flags for all! END OF LINE

 

Slogan: PastramiX sucks

[Sabretooth]

Name: Comrade Sabretooth Superior

 

Party:

Divided Surrealo-Marxist Anarchy Liberation League

Geteilte surrealistische Marxist-Anarchie-Befreiungsliga

Ligue de Libération d'Anarchie de Marxiste de Surréaliste Divisée

Разделенная Сюрреалистичная Лига Освобождения Анархии Марксиста

Splittet Surealmarxistisk Anarkistisk Frigjorings Liga

 

Running Mate: Comradess Bee Palin Hoon Inferior to Superior But Still Very Superior

 

Members, Supporters and Fellow Anarchists:

Comrade Ztalker

Comrade mur'phon

Comrade Samuel Dravis

Comrade PastramiX

Comrade Emperor Devon

Comrade Salvador Marx the Unabomber

Comrade The Current President of the Trilateral Commission

Comrade You?

 

Manifesto: One-fourth Communist manifesto, one-fourth Surrealist manifesto, one-fourth Magna Carta, one-fourth stolen

 

A spectre is haunting LucasForums—the spectre of Divided Surrealo-Marxist Anarchy. All the Powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: DI and mgnails, Sitherino and D333, French Radicals and German police-spies.

Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as Divided Surrealo-Marxist Anarchy-ic by its opponents in power? Where is the Opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of Divided Surrealo-Marxist Anarchy, against the more advanced opposition parties, as well as against its reactionary adversaries?

 

... One night, before falling asleep, I became aware of a most bizarre sentence, clearly articulated to the point where it was impossible to change a word of it, but still separate from the sound of any voice. It came to me bearing no trace of the events with which I was involved at that time, at least to my conscious knowledge. It seemed to me a highly insistent sentence - a sentence, I might say, which knocked at the window. I quickly took note of it and was prepared to disregard it when something about its whole character held me back. The sentence truly astounded me. Unfortunately I still cannot remember the exact words to this day, but it was something like: 'A man is cut in half by the window'; but it can only suffer from ambiguity, accompanied as it was by the feeble visual representation of a walking man cut in half by a window perpendicular to the axis of his body.

 

(23) No town or person shall be forced to build bridges over rivers except those with an ancient obligation to do so.

 

(24) No sheriff, constable, coroners, or other royal officials are to hold lawsuits that should be held by the royal justices.

 

The full text of the Divided Surrealo-Marxist Anarchy Liberation League Manifesto may be acquired by performing sexual favours for either of the two greatest comrades, namely myself and Bee.

 

Slogans:

Divided Forever!

All hail Lady Anarchy, over us Equality!

Liberation! Handlebar!

Moo!

 

MORE INFO

[Jae Onasi]

Name: Jae Onasi

Party: The Nemesis Party

Running-Mate: Emperor Devon

Manifesto: We are devoted to creating some chaotic goodness with a hint of lawful badness in an attempt to bring into being a mostly moral absolutes with the occasional ambiguity.

Slogans: Jae--Gaming for everyone!! ED--Ayn Rand for everyone!!

TNP: Nemeses forever!!

 

 

Our platform: To bring games like NWN2, TSL, MOTB, GW, PS:T and assorted other Games Of Greatness to your favorite gaming system, and Ayn Rand books to the little table that sits next to your toilet in the bathroom.

 

A vote for us is a vote for gaming equality for everyone, and books that are sure cures for your insomnia!!

[Bee Hoon]

My manifesto includes free makeovers for all pitbulls in lipstick hockey mums as well as brainwashing teaching minions proles most honoured and valued Ahto residents the value of cutesy things.

 

The full text of the Divided Surrealo-Marxist Anarchy Liberation League Manifesto may be acquired by performing sexual favours for either of the two greatest comrades, namely myself and Bee.

I'll take Baskin Robbins ice-cream instead, shellfish and saturated fat notwithstanding

 

Running-Mate: Emperor Devon

I'm surprised that he hasn't tried to stage a coup by now

 

I should like to announce the official withdrawal of my candidacy, and I now announce my support for Darathy-EW '08! in the assumption that I shall have a spot on his Cabinet (Secretary of State ).

 

Darathy '08!

Turncoat! Traitor! The bourgeoisie like you shall be toppled in our revolution!

[Sabretooth]

There have been some developments in My Glorious Party, namely:

• The inclusion of the prestigious Ztalker in the Party, attaining the post of planned position of Minister of Welfare and Minister of Propaganda Free speech and the Media.
  
• The inclusion of the prestigious Murphon in the Party, attaining the post of planned position of Minister of Translation and Minister of Entertaining Government Sanctioned Chaos
  
• The adoption of The Cow Song and
  as the Joint Anthems of the State
  
• The adoption of Ceci n'est pas un drapeau as the official flag:
  

 

Moo!

[igyman]

I hereby announce my candidacy for the Supreme Imperator President of Ahto!

 

Name: igyman, aka iggy, DrIggy

 

Party: Global Dictatorial Party

 

Running-mate: / (awaiting potential candidates)

 

Manifesto: We at GDP, starting with yours truly, hereby pledge to bring absolute order into Ahto. We will give the Ahtonauts what every citizen truly wants - the illusion of free will. Ahto will be ruled relentlessly by yours truly, who will unilaterally make all important decisions for the Greater Good, but will make sure everyone believes their voices are heard, because after all, that's what really matters.

 

Slogans: "We give people what they want - someone to think and work for them!"

"We bring Order where Chaos lurks."

[tk102]

Thank you. Thank you everyone. Thank you. I just want... Thank you. Thank you.

 

I just want to thank everyone for their time spent in coming together here, in this forum, at this time, to construct what will inevitably be referred to as the most credible, most believable, and most legitimate sham election this forum has ever seen. And to all our opponents, we can only imagine the pride you must feel in these fleeting moments while we share our limelight with you. To all the Puppets People of Ahto, Darth333 and I shall never forget our lofty titles and neither shall you. We know that the inevitable faux victory of the People's Party of SWK is not ours, but yours... and yours... and yours... and not Devon's. Rest assured that when elected, Universal Administratorship will be at the top of our agenda*. That means freedom to change your name at will, to post announcements at your whim, freedom from binding rules, and freedom from order. That glorious day is nearing when we will all bear witness to the transformation of Ahtonaut to Ubernaut. Can we help make this happen? Yes we can.

 

Join People's Party of SWK.

 

* subject to change without warning

[Alkonium]

Name: Alkonium

Party: The Impartial and Sometimes Indifferent Party

Running-Mate: The chair I'm sitting in (unless someone volunteers)

Manifesto: The ISIP promises to remove any sort of bias towards anything in anything they care about, unless we don't care, in which case nothing shall happen. We also advocate equal rights for everyone, and more funding to sciency things.

Slogans: When we care, we do what we must because we can and we care.

We just don't care.

To each their own!

For indifference!

[Quanon]

Greetings Ahtonauts! I present myself as a candidate for the Presidency of Ahto.

 

Name:Quanon, aka Q.

Party: Supreme Converter of 3Dnesque Power

Running Mate: Marius Fett

Manifesto: All will be converted ! To witness the greatnes of the 3D realm ! Bask in its infinite emptyness, soon to be purged and filled with glorious Raytraced lights, enhanced by Mental Ray.

 

Convert and though shall feel the Mesh come to you !

 

Party Promises: All will not be more then 500 polys, no more Normal map, no heavy Bump maps. Every convert will be renderable on mid sized rigs.

Specular maps will be optional though simplistic.

Against Antianialising ! Stop it now !

Will put a halt to Triple filtering, somebody most think of the GPUs !

All females get 25+ polys for their bust !

 

Slogan(s): Be converted !

All bask in the light of Mental Ray !

Meshed for your fate will be worse then G-Max !

 

[mimartin]

I have no faith in a vote when one of our fellow members has already demonstrated his ability to manipulate the system with ease. So while my heart says to support El Sitherino, my brain and my account status, says I must support Darth333 and her evil running mate tk102.

[Jae Onasi]

Thus sayeth the Birthday Girl and Momerator:

This thread is to announce your candidacy, and only your candidacy. If you wish to make speeches, canvass and/or bribe potential voters, sign up the dead/felons/illegal aliens such as Hutts and Twi'leks/assorted others who aren't legal to vote, and otherwise talk about why people should be insane enough to vote for you, then you shall do so in the Ahto Presidency Campaign 2008: Canvassing and Campaigning thread.

 

1. You shall remain In Character. If your are Out Of Character (aka OOC), I shall exercise my Princess Powers to alter/delete such comments.

2. There shall be no gross smear campaigns and insinuations of misconduct, sexual or otherwise. You shall smear each other in a most friendly, cordial, and semi-professional fashion. Accusations of cheating, lying, Evil Death and Destruction, and/or other similar mischief is acceptable, rape is not OK, and molestation is Right Out.

3. There shall be no OOC complaints, for there is a Report Post button for you to use if you choose to say something Out Of Character.

 

That is all, unless I choose to further exercise my Princess Powers to change the rules to suit my campaign.

 

Note: El Sitherino exercised his Prince powers and deleted the canvassing posts, which were subsequently moved to the Canvassing thread. Thank you.

[Darth333]

Dear Athonauts,

 

The SWK People's Party is happy to announce the formation of a Triumvirate of Reformed Evil Overlords: the great LeXX has now joined our team and has agreed to put her formidable experience at your service!

 

With this new addition to the team, we can now guarantee that the process of transformation of Athonauts into Ubernauts will be smooth and 100% painless (as long as you don't disguise yourselves as wolves because we are providing her with a helicopter...she told me that she loves to shoot those animals).