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XWA one year thread IV: The Clown Wars


K_Kinnison

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I volunteered this time. She wasn't going to ask me because she assumed I'd be working. (It's actually a slow week...)

 

*Shrug* I'm not going worry about it.

 

I honestly don't realistically think anything is ever going to spark between us, anyway... she seems to have way too much emotional baggage right now... So it's just one friend helping out another at this point.

 

Though I have to admit: My non-work life has been at least 10 times more active and interesting since I've started socializing with her than it's been in decades... so even if it remains "just friends..." I still believe I'm better off than I was even a year ago.

 

There's a lot to be said for that. And it's not a bad thing from where I sit.

 

Plus: Even in a strictly platonic scenario... she DOES have a lot of very attractive and interesting actress/ model friends. :D That's a social circle I'm not inclined to cut all ties with if I can help it.

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That's what I figure.

 

She called the other day to ask if I wanted that AC unit I've been helping her with. When I asked what's up, she said she was moving to a place that has central air and didn't need it anymore.

 

That's when I dragged the rest out of her.

 

So... if she's using me, it's only because I'm letting her.

 

But since I see her as an entry into a more interesting world than the one I've been living in for years now, I'm actually kinda using her in my own way too. I'd say it's a wash.

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Yep. Boy howdy!

 

Which is exactly why I've decided to stop worrying about trying to find that perfect "man-alchemy" of being the strong, silent type... but not TOO strong and silent, since you need to show her you are interested and available... but not TOO interested and available...

 

:rolleyes:

 

Way too damn much to think about when all I really want to do is spend more time with someone, getting to know her, and seeing if there could ever be any chemistry between us...

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Stage one of my friend's move is complete. (Her stuff is just in temp. storage for a week or so until she can get into her new place... at which time, I will have to go through this all again. :rolleyes: )

 

She really doesn't have that much stuff... but she NEEDS to get better help next time. The only other guy she had to help me lift the couple of big, heavy things was clueless, and kept dropping her stuff. (I told her not to bring him on board next time... or just keep him the **** out of my way if she does. She acknowledged that he wasn't good... so I don't think it will be a problem.)

 

Again: Had I not been there, they'd probably still be working on it. 2 rail-thin Asian women, and this other clown (who bailed out before we were anywhere near done, anyway...)

I told her that she had better have some more muscle for the next stage. And she sure-as-hell better not plan on moving again for at least 10 years after that! :dozey:

 

The heat and humidity were brutal. After 10 minutes my shirt was soaked through. Drank a LOT of water.

 

She took us all out to a nice dinner at a Japanese restaurant afterwards, though. I tasted her Sake (it was nice... I bet I could drink a lot of that without thinking about it and get hammered before I realized...) She kept tasting things off my plate.

 

I guess her friends could be forgiven for thinking we are already a couple... :indif:

 

First really major ding on my car yesterday, too. :( Put a big mark in the bumper trying to turn around in a narrow underground parking lot. The bumper actually pulled away from the body a bit on one side. Hopefully it's something I can just snap back into place, and buff the paint... but it seems like it might be something I will have to pay for at the dealer or a body shop. Damn.

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I had a friend do that.

 

6 weeks of dating, 4 months of engagement, 6 weeks of marraige, divorce!

 

Well, these are serious Catholics, you know, so they will get 6 months to a year of engagement, and divorce isn't an option. I just hope this isn't as big a mistake as it sounds like, because I don't want her to wind up miserable for the rest of her life because she didn't take the time to make a good judgment. The guy was three months out of the seminary when they got engaged. It's like a rebound relationship for him. She wants a huge number of kids, and I don't think his career or savings are where they need to be to support that right now. So I don't know what's going on. Hopefully they are getting some good advice from their families... I don't know, she doesn't talk to me anymore, not surprisingly :rolleyes:

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She took us all out to a nice dinner at a Japanese restaurant afterwards, though. I tasted her Sake (it was nice... I bet I could drink a lot of that without thinking about it and get hammered before I realized...) She kept tasting things off my plate.

 

 

 

nice!

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You ok Zargy?

 

relatively.........

 

just one of those weeks, thank mf god its friday

 

 

too bad I have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow am to help a buddy out :¬:

 

I owe him, and would do it if I didnt, just sucks to get up at the same time i do all week on a saturday :(

 

 

keyan: definately not surpirsed she doesnt talk to you, and wouldnt be surprised at all if the other dude asked her to do that anyways.

 

sounds like a rough situation. rebounds are........interesting.

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relatively.........

keyan: definately not surpirsed she doesnt talk to you, and wouldnt be surprised at all if the other dude asked her to do that anyways.

 

sounds like a rough situation. rebounds are........interesting.

 

She never even told him about me. Which to me seems very strange. OK, the relationship was long distance, but it was a relationship. Flowers, flirting, Valentine's, all that jazz. Then she meets him. Never tells him about me. Then he goes to the seminary. She's a bit more reserved with me now, but I win her over with my awesome song-writing skillz. Then he comes back and she tells me she's going to choose him. Then she's not sure anything is going to happen to with him for a couple of months, and so all of the sudden she's all about me again. Then he makes up his mind and I'm history. Never told him about me. But that strikes me as information he had a right to know, don't you think?

 

(And yes, I'm aware this summary makes her sound like a terrible person, but it was a bit more complicated than all that). Anyway, it's something I'd expect to know.

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but it was a bit more complicated than all that).
It always is.

 

And after watching several of my friend's and co-worker's marriages and relationships dissolve simultaneously in the last several months, I'm starting to doubt it's easy for anybody,.. ever.

 

Unfortunately, proximity (usually) = advantage in long-distance type situations.

 

While it's not an impossible scenario to make work; having a history with someone who is far away often doesn't quite match up with the thought of having a future with someone who happens to be here, now.

 

And the longer and father apart, the easier it is to justify to oneself starting to test the local waters. (Though, my experience is that it's usually only one side that ever wants to explore... the other side inevitably is fighting to keep it working.)

 

I've seen it bite other friends in the butt... from both sides (dumper and dumpee...)

 

I've never been a big fan of "everything happens for a good reason" and "you will be far better off" kind of talk... but if she was really so willing to start playing the field after being apart a while, especially knowing that you were back there striving to keep the fires burning... then perhaps it may not have even have helped had the 2 of you been separated. It may have just taken longer to happen had you stayed in each other's presence. Maybe it was only a matter of time before she began looking.

 

You also don't really know what kind of influence her friends and family where she is were putting on her.

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