Astrotoy7 Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Seriously...those were HORRIBLE. >_< Angelina in hotpants makes the rest of the substance of the movie irrelevant mtfbwya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 All I remember about it was the side-shot of fake bewb. Qliver: I have to shut my brain off when I go to movies. Especially when watching military movies. What was so bad with Pearl Harbor? Maybe that section of grey matter was temporarily down for repairs. S&M summed up my reaction to it very well, but I'll add my personal touches: I made the mistake of going to see Pearl Harbor too soon after release and without hearing any reviews about it (it's on Roger Ebert's Most Hated Films list). What I was expecting was something along the lines a modern remake of this classic movie, an excellent film that comes about as close to historical accuracy as Hollywood has ever bothered to get. What I got was a shallow travesty of history with glitzy, unrealistic special effects and chock full of inaccuracies that was something along the lines of Titanic, while at the same time being far inferior to it in film-making quality. I could have let all of the historical rape slide had the fictional drama surrounding the characters been at least passably interesting. It wasn't in the slightest. If I hadn't been on a date, I would have walked out. As it turned out, my date actually liked the film and couldn't understand why I didn't. Needless to say, I never asked her out again after that. Had I known that it was directed by the same moronic flake that was responsible for Armageddon, I would have skipped it right there. Michael Bay deserves death by the slowest, most torturous method available. At least watching that would be entertaining. God, how I despise that man. His continued success serves as a testimony for the stupidity of mankind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TriggerGod Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Angelina in hotpants makes the rest of the substance of the movie irrelevant There was actually a movie? I saw Angelina, and everything else melted away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommycat Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 On Tomb Raider: There was a story? Wait, when did that happen? Cute girl+guns+asploshuns=WIN! Did I mention I shut my brain off for movies? I want a story, I'll read a book. I want cool special effects and scantily clad women I watch movies. Popcorn gets the pages all messed up, and when watching a movie, if I get up to pee, I might miss an actual plot point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serpentine Cougar Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Regarding Bioshock, I'm hopeful until proven otherwise (ie the day it comes out and it bombs). Movie that should be block busters Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (May 28, 2010) I'm pretty optimistic about this movie, since they got Jordan Mechner on it. He designed the first PoP games and wrote the script for the SoT game. Movies i wish for Halo I believe they were making one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 BioShock Movie on Hold lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 ^ So, essentially, they're freezing the project until they can find a way to make it looks crappy. That's the Hollywood we know and wub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedHawke Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 ^^^^ They will take that director Gore Verbinski guy off it and get Uwe Boll to make it for a shoestring budget! The suckage will be epic! *Flees thread... and Uwe Boll* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 Yes, Uwe Boll is the king of suckage, but after he lured the founder of the Something Awful forums (one of his most outspoken critics) into the boxing ring -seemingly as a joke but actually so that he could legally beat the living **** out of him- and did so, I have a little bit of respect for him. He's no idiot; he just can't direct for ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 ^ In fact, he should try his luck as boxer (again?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
True_Avery Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 http://www.gamespot.com/news/6208624.html?tag=latestheadlines;title;3 Take that, Bioshock movie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 ^ In fact, he should try his luck as boxer (again?). I think that Uwe Boll and Michael Bay should have a death match. The public would win no matter which one of them survived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 I think that Uwe Boll and Michael Bay should have a death match. The public would win no matter which one of them survived. I'd have more fun with a draw. Meaning both lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 But then both of them would still be alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
True_Avery Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Never understood the hate for Michael. Sure, he makes American explosion movies. His horror moves aren't that great, but there has not been a good horror film in 20 years or more. Like most directors, he's got some genuinely bad movies and some genuinely good movies. His bad movies have more of a problem with concept then final design, as production wise their great but story wise they fall short. When Bay does what he was meant to do (explosive, shaky cam blockbusters like Transformers and Armageddon), he can come out with a decent or great movie, but when he does something that doesn't suit him you should stay away. So, like basically 90% of directors out there. But, Uwe makes genuinely terrible movies. Not the terrible movie you laugh at. Not the terrible movie you make jokes with your friend about because you rented it just for a laugh. Not a movie with scenes that make you fall on the ground laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of what you just saw. Not a movie that you look back on and say "jeez, that director likes explosions and shaky cams!" No, genuinely terrible movies that actually make you feel like less of a person for buy/renting or even freely WATCHING his movie and actually contributing in some part to his monstrous career. His movies make you bleed boredom out of your eyes, and makes you realize that you can in fact make a fight scene more boring and dull than watching paint dry. At least the paint can dry into something halfway decent. He is, quite plainly, just an appalling director and he should be downright ashamed about what he has done to the art of film. He has a 0% rating as a director for good reason, as he's just so bad that he can barely be compared to any other. The highest he ever got was 11%, and that was a movie that was not even close to his normal style. Bay can get up into 50-60% percentile, which is about average for most directors at their strongest. He's made some bad movies, but is he really equal to Uwe? Really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 there has not been a good horror film in 20 years or more. Awww, come on, Avery. You're either very strict on what counts as horror or you've missed some movies along the way. Also, This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ctrl Alt Del Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 But then both of them would still be alive. Ah-ah. Boll would dig a hole on Bay's chest with a shotgun and die from internal bleeding afterwards. He's made some bad movies, but is he really equal to Uwe? Really?Okay, so Boll can die first. Honestly, Boll is as bad as you can get, so being a better director than him doesn't mean much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nedak Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 Meh, never liked Bioshock that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Never understood the hate for Michael... <snip> ...Armageddon... <snip> Case closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blix Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Well done movies Mortal combat movies seriously I can't tolerate watching these movies, they're alright in Spanish if you don't mind improvising the storyline. Part one was at least slightly better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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