Totenkopf Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/11120919111.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trench Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 But seriously.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endorenna Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Some people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purifier Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Well I guess "a mans gotta do what a mans gonna do." But this really goes beyond stupidty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalore The Shadow Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Of all the things he could go to jail for it had to be that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 FYI, you're eligible for a Darwin award only if you remove yourself from the gene pool, which this man did not do (unfortunately). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted November 12, 2009 Author Share Posted November 12, 2009 There's more than one way to "win". If he only resorts to phone sex self-abuse, he'll effectively stay out of the gene pool (well, one can hope anyway). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quanon Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 For his sake I hope the operator looked like this: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted November 12, 2009 Author Share Posted November 12, 2009 For her sake, I hope he never gets w/in 100 feet of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkonium Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 There's more than one way to "win". If he only resorts to phone sex self-abuse, he'll effectively stay out of the gene pool (well, one can hope anyway). Yes, but you still only qualify if your stupidity renders you physically incapable of reproducing, regardless of social standing (ie, sterile or dead). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 Yes, but you still only qualify if your stupidity renders you physically incapable of reproducing, regardless of social standing (ie, sterile or dead). Yeah, I understood that from niner's post. Too bad he'd didn't stroke out w/stroking off. Still, the fact that he didn't think it'd be a problem still suggests he's about 5 cans short of a six pack. Maybe someone can change the thread title to "What a Dumbass". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Lolwut? Deeeeaaaamn. What a moron ...and a douchenozzle. @ quannon: No, she probably looked something like this... Yeah I mean, why 911? What about calling hot mamma horsey spank hotlines with buy 20 minutes get 10 free? Oh wait.....EEEEEWWWWPS! my bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth333 Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 Maybe he could have gotten a "honorable" mention but I've seen much worse (I get a few of those calls myself every week or so lol I just hang up til the person calls again while "sober" or in a better "mood" or doesn't call back at all). As for "missed" Darwin awards, this guy still holds the prize IMHO: http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-11.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-varmint Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 For his sake I hope the operator looked like this: (Pic removed because THAT'S MY SISTER!!!! How dare you sir!) I believe, as a general rule, 911 operators closely resemble Padma Lakshmi while phone se.... operators all look like rosie odonnell. One of life's cruel ironies....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 As for "missed" Darwin awards, this guy still holds the prize IMHO: http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-11.html Ah, yes, Lawn Chair/Weather Balloon Man! A classic! He wasn't that stupid; his idea did work, after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I'll never forget the one of the zookeeper. He was so happy to tend the elephant for the weekend that he was primping it. Gave it food, treats, a bath, a diarrhetic (or two, or three), some play time and starting on a second bath...... He was straight behind the elephant... On a stool and elevating his face right up to where...the elephant's (shall we call it) exhaust port was. Well... the zookeepers came into the Zoo at the beginning of Monday. Found the Elephant's pen was wide open and the Elephant was wandering around. They couldn't get him to answer the phone or anything. They couldn't find him and his car was still there. There was a HUGE pile of elephant excrement. And a stool. They found the tender's body inside the pile of dung. Autopsy revealed he suffocated. It can therefore be theorized the initial force at which the sheer volume of excrement exited the elephant's body was hard enough to knock the tender out cold on contact and suffocated to death buried unconscious in the pile of elephant turds. Hope you weren't eating anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForeverNight Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Damn you! Thankfully I wasn't eating, but I have to wipe down my keyboard after spitting out my drink. That's both disgusting and funny at the same time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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