LucasArts related AI text nonsense

[KestrelPi]

In the interest of not flooding the AI thread, here is a place for more AI text nonsense fun.

 

To start, a series of responses to the prompt 'Write a snarky multi-paragraph Mixnmojo.com news post titled "Tim Schafer bangs on Ron Gilbert's door and screams 'Wilma!'": '
 

Quote

Tim Schafer, the man behind such classic adventure games as Grim Fandango and Day of the Tentacle, was recently seen banging on Ron Gilbert's door and screaming "Wilma!" at the top of his lungs.

 

It's unclear what prompted this outburst, but it's safe to say that Schafer is not happy with Gilbert. Perhaps he's still upset about Gilbert leaving Lucasfilm Games all those years ago? Or maybe he's just really into The Flintstones?

 

Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure: Tim Schafer is a madman. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Quote

Tim Schafer, well-known game developer and creator of such classics as Grim Fandango and Full Throttle, was seen earlier today banging on Ron Gilbert's door and screaming "Wilma!". When asked for comment, Mr. Schafer would only say that he "has a message for Ron" and that it's "very important".

 

We contacted Mr. Gilbert for comment, but he was unavailable. His wife, however, did tell us that he is currently out of town on business and is not expected home until next week. She also said that she has no idea what Tim Schafer could possibly want with her husband, but she's sure it must be important.

 

We'll continue to follow this story as it develops. In the meantime, we'd like to remind our readers that if they see Tim Schafer banging on any doors or screaming any words, please do not approach him or attempt to engage him in conversation. Just call the police.

Quote

Tim Schafer arrived at Ron Gilbert's house early this morning, banging on the door and screaming "Wilma!" over and over again.

 

Ron Gilbert came to the door and asked what was going on. Tim told him that he had been having a dream where he was lost in a maze and Wilma was the only one who could help him find his way out.

 

Ron told Tim that he didn't have time for this and tried to close the door, but Tim put his foot in the way and said he wasn't leaving until Ron helped him find Wilma.

 

Ron sighed and said he would try to help Tim find Wilma, but warned him that it probably wouldn't do any good. Tim thanked Ron and they both went into the maze.

 

After a few minutes of searching, they found Wilma! She told them she had been looking for them both and led them out of the maze.

Quote

Tim Schafer just can't seem to stay away from Ron Gilbert's door. The legendary game developer was spotted banging on Gilbert's door early this morning and screaming "Wilma!" at the top of his lungs.

 

It's unclear what exactly Schafer is trying to accomplish with this behavior, but it's certainly not winning him any fans. Some have even speculated that he might be suffering from some sort of mental breakdown.

 

Whatever the case may be, one thing is for sure: Tim Schafer needs to leave Ron Gilbert alone and get some help. Maybe then he'll finally be able to make another great game.

[Thrik]

Legitimately unsettling.

[KestrelPi]

2 minutes ago, Thrik said:

Legitimately unsettling.

I promise this was the first thing that came up:

 

[KestrelPi]

Here are my favourite responses to a prompt I did about Ron Gilbert tweeting the end of Return to Monkey Island to spite fans:

 

Quote

"I'm so sick of people asking me about the ending of Return to Monkey Island! So here it is: Guybrush defeats LeChuck, but then discovers that he's actually a zombie himself. The only way to break the curse is to find the fabled treasure of Big Whoop. But when he finally locates it, he finds that it's just a worthless pile of junk. The real treasure was the friendships he made along the way."

Quote

"I hope you all enjoy Return to Monkey Island. I know I did. And the ending? Spoiler alert: Guybrush dies."

Quote

"I'm so sick of people asking me about the ending of Return to Monkey Island! It's so obvious what happens: Guybrush gets eaten by a giant monkey!"

Quote

I'm so sick of people asking me about the ending of Return to Monkey Island. So here it is, in all its spoily glory: Guybrush defeats LeChuck, but then finds out that his wife Elaine has been kidnapped by a new villain. In order to save her, he has to go back in time and prevent the original Monkey Island game from ever happening. The end.

Quote

"I'm so sick of people asking about the ending of Return to Monkey Island! So here it is: Guybrush dies, the island explodes, and everyone lives happily ever after."

Quote

"And then the ending of Return to Monkey Island is revealed and it's just Guybrush standing there with an island in the background. The end."

Quote

"And then, in a shocking twist, it turns out that Guybrush Threepwood was the real monkey all along!"

Quote

"So you finally finished Return to Monkey Island, eh? Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because I'm about to spoil the ending for you!

Haha, gotcha! The ending is actually really sad and bittersweet. Guybrush and Elaine are forced to part ways, and he never gets to keep his promise of making her governor of Melee Island.

Seriously though, don't go around spoiling people's fun like that. It's not cool."

Quote

"To all the people who've been asking me about the ending of Return to Monkey Island: I'm not going to tell you. You'll just have to play it and find out for yourselves. And then you can be as disappointed as I was."

 

[ThunderPeel2001]

Some of these are simply too good. As in: How the fuck did AI do this? As Thrik said, unsettling. I don't care to read predictions for REMI because, let's be honest: One of them is going to be correct. There's only so many options available, and the algorithm will likely guess something correctly.

 

So instead of that, can you ask it to write a Mixnmojo.com review for Sam & Max: This Time It's Virtual? I'm so overdue, it's a joke. 

Edited June 20, 2022 by ThunderPeel2001

[KestrelPi]

OK I'll do that but first, some of these are incredible:

 

 

[KestrelPi]

11 minutes ago, ThunderPeel2001 said:

So instead of that, can you ask it to write a Mixnmojo.com review for Sam & Max: This Time It's Virtual? I'm so overdue, it's a joke. 

 

Here:

 

[ThunderPeel2001]

Yoink!

[DM81]

40 minutes ago, KestrelPi said:

OK I'll do that but first, some of these are incredible:

 

 

30 years ago, an april's fool of an italian magazine hipotized the same connection...

[KestrelPi]

Today I've asked the AI to write an open letter from Ron Gilbert begging fans to stop calling him "Wrong Gilbert"

 

Here are my favourites:

 

Quote

Dear Gilbert fans,

Please stop calling me 'Wrong Gilbert'. I beg of you. It's getting really old. My name is Ron and I am not wrong. I have never been wrong. Not once.

Sincerely,
Ron

Quote

Dear Game Fans,

Please stop calling me "Wrong Gilbert." I am not wrong. I am Ron Gilbert, the creator of some of the best adventure games ever made. I'm also the guy who wrote that Monkey Island 2 is better than The Secret of Monkey Island. And yes, I know that a lot of you disagree with me on that. But please, can we all just agree to disagree?

I understand that you're upset with me because you think I'm wrong about Monkey Island 2 being better than The Secret of Monkey Island. But trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I created both of those games, so believe me when I say that Monkey Island 2 is the superior game.

And please don't call me "Wrong Gilbert" anymore. It's really getting old and it's not accurate. Yes, there are times when I'm wrong about things (like when people said my blog post about why Maniac Mansion is better than Day of the Tentacle was wrong), but overall, I'm a pretty smart guy who knows what he's talking about most of the time. So please give me some credit and stop calling me "Wrong Gilbert."

Sincerely,
Ron Gilbert

Quote

Dear Game Fans,

Please stop calling me 'Wrong Gilbert'. I am not the wrong Gilbert. I am Ron Gilbert, the correct Gilbert. The one and only Ron Gilbert.

I know there is another game developer out there who goes by the name 'Gilbert'. He is not me. I am not him. We are two different people.

I beg of you, please stop confusing us. It's getting really confusing for everyone involved. And it's just plain wrong to call me 'Wrong Gilbert'.

Sincerely,
Ron Gilbert

Quote

Dear Adventure Game Fans,

Please stop calling me "Wrong Gilbert." My name is Ron Gilbert, and I am not wrong. I am a game designer who has been making adventure games for over 30 years. I know what I'm doing.

I understand that you're upset that I didn't make the Monkey Island games the way you wanted them to be. But please understand that I was trying to do something different with those games. I was trying to innovate and create something new.

I'm sorry if you didn't like my Monkey Island games, but please don't call me "Wrong Gilbert." It's hurtful and it's not accurate.

Sincerely,
Ron Gilbert

Quote

Dear Gilbert fans,

I'm begging you, please stop calling me 'Wrong Gilbert'. It's really getting on my nerves. I'm the only Gilbert around here, and I'm not wrong. I'm right about everything.

So please, from now on, call me 'Right Gilbert'. That's what I prefer. And if you insist on calling me something else, at least spell my name correctly. It's R-O-N, not W-R-O-N-G.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Sincerely, Ron Gilbert

Quote

Dear Adventure Game Fans,

Please stop calling me "Wrong Gilbert." I am not Ron Gilbert. I am Tim Schafer. We both worked on Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion, but I am not him. I don't even really like adventure games that much. I just pretended to so he would let me work on them.

Seriously, it's getting really confusing and a little bit insulting. So please, for the love of god, stop calling me "Wrong Gilbert."

Sincerely,
Tim Schafer

 

[Scummbuddy]

May I request one or two blurbs for sequels we never received. Like a Dig 2, MM3, Grim 2, Zak 2, and Full Throttle 2.

[Laserschwert]

Which AI are you using for this?

[KestrelPi]

53 minutes ago, Scummbuddy said:

May I request one or two blurbs for sequels we never received. Like a Dig 2, MM3, Grim 2, Zak 2, and Full Throttle 2.

 

Oh, here, you can have the most plausible Grim Fandango sequel premise it could come up with:

 

In Grim Fandango, Manny Calavera is stuck in the Land of the Dead, working off his debt as a travel agent for the dead. He meets and falls in love with Mercedes Colomar, a newly-deceased woman who is trying to find her way to the Ninth Underworld.

 

In the sequel, Manny has managed to escape the Land of the Dead and is now living in the Ninth Underworld. He is reunited with Mercedes, and they are able to start a new life together. However, trouble soon arises when it is revealed that Manny's escape from the Land of the Dead was not entirely legal. The authorities in the Ninth Underworld are not happy with Manny's presence, and they want him gone.

 

Manny must find a way to clear his name and stay in the Ninth Underworld with Mercedes. Along the way, he will encounter new challenges and face old enemies from his days in the Land of the Dead.

 

 

[KestrelPi]

49 minutes ago, Laserschwert said:

Which AI are you using for this?

 

This is OpenAI, using their text playground. Pretty sure anyone can sign up for personal use https://beta.openai.com/

[Laserschwert]

Man, it's really life-like.

 

[BillyCheers]

5 minutes ago, Laserschwert said:

Man, it's really life-like.

 

This Al shit is much too spoilery for me! 😶

[ThunderPeel2001]

1 hour ago, KestrelPi said:

In Grim Fandango, Manny Calavera is stuck in the Land of the Dead, working off his debt as a travel agent for the dead. He meets and falls in love with Mercedes Colomar, a newly-deceased woman who is trying to find her way to the Ninth Underworld.

 

In the sequel, Manny has managed to escape the Land of the Dead and is now living in the Ninth Underworld. He is reunited with Mercedes, and they are able to start a new life together. However, trouble soon arises when it is revealed that Manny's escape from the Land of the Dead was not entirely legal. The authorities in the Ninth Underworld are not happy with Manny's presence, and they want him gone.

 

Manny must find a way to clear his name and stay in the Ninth Underworld with Mercedes. Along the way, he will encounter new challenges and face old enemies from his days in the Land of the Dead.

 

It bends my brain how plausible this is. I don't think I like this AI thread anymore... 😞

[KestrelPi]

8 minutes ago, ThunderPeel2001 said:

 

It bends my brain how plausible this is. I don't think I like this AI thread anymore... 😞

For every plausible synopsis, it came up with 20 more like this with implausible premises and plot details that only half make sense:

 

Quote

Grim Fandango 2: Requiem for a Dreamer picks up where the first game left off, with Manny Calavera returning to the Land of the Living to investigate a mysterious death. However, things have changed since he left, and Manny must now contend with new allies and enemies, as well as the ever-present danger of the Number Nine Man.

 

Manny's investigation leads him to the Land of the Dead's version of Hollywood, where he discovers that a movie is being made based on his own life. As he tries to unravel the mystery of the death, he must also deal with the machinations of the movie's producer, who seems to be up to something sinister. With the help of his new allies, Manny eventually discovers the truth: the producer is a demon, and the movie is a trap designed to lure him back to the Land of the Dead.

 

Manny must use all of his cunning and resourcefulness to escape the trap and put an end to the producer's evil plans. Grim Fandango 2 is a dark comedy adventure game that features twisted takes on classic Hollywood tropes. Players will guide Manny through a series of puzzles and challenges, using his wits and charm to overcome obstacles.

 

[ThunderPeel2001]

22 minutes ago, KestrelPi said:

For every plausible synopsis, it came up with 20 more like this with implausible premises and plot details that only half make sense:

 

 

Thank f***

[Glokidd]

That Grim 2 is something i want now... damned AI lol

 

Here are a couple quick ones:

 

Write a crossover between "Big Trouble in Little China" and "The Secret of Monkey Island"

 

When Jack Burton rolls into town in search of his missing friend, he's not expecting to find himself in the middle of a centuries-old battle between good and evil. But that's exactly what he's gotten himself into when he discovers that his friend has been kidnapped by none other than the evil pirate LeChuck.

 

Now, Jack must team up with the self-proclaimed mighty pirate Guybrush Threepwood to rescue his friend and put an end to LeChuck's evil plans. But it won't be easy, because as Jack soon discovers, LeChuck is a lot more powerful than he looks.

 

Together, Jack and Guybrush will have to use all of their skills to outwit LeChuck and his minions. They'll need to be brave, they'll need to be resourceful, and most of all, they'll need to be lucky. Because if they're not, they're both going to end up as monkey food.

 

 

 

write a "next generation" follow up to the "monkey island" series featuring Guybrush and Elaines children

 

In "Monkey Island: The Next Generation", Guybrush and Elaine's children take on the mantle of adventure from their parents.

 

The game follows the twins, Threepwood and Pirate, as they search for the fabled treasure of the Monkey Island. Along the way they must contend with the evil pirate LeChuck, who is also after the treasure.

 

The game is a comedic point-and-click adventure, with the twins often bickering with each other as they solve puzzles and battle enemies. The game also features cameos from Guybrush and Elaine, as well as other characters from the Monkey Island series.

[ATMcashpoint]

Some answers for the prompt "Write an outline for a sequel to LOOM."

 

First try - not quite there yet:

Quote

1. In the sequel, Loom, the main character discovers that she has the ability to time travel. 2. She uses her power to travel back in time to meet her ancestors and learn more about her family history. 3. She also meets other characters from her past, and learns about their lives and how they connect to her own. 4. In the end, Loom discovers that her power is not just limited to time travel, but that she can also use it to influence the present and change the future.

 

Second try - this one's much more in the right ballpark:

Quote

The Weavers Guild has been disbanded and its members scattered. Bobbin, once a loom operator, is now a Weaverless and must find a new way to make a living. He takes a job as a carpet salesman, but finds the work unfulfilling. One day, he meets a woman who tells him about a group of Weaverless who are trying to start a new guild. Bobbin is intrigued and decides to join them. Together, they must overcome many challenges, including finding enough members and resources to get started, and dealing with the prejudice of the other guilds. If they succeed, they will have created a new home for themselves and a new way of life for the Weaverless.

 

A few attempts later, the AI has decided the Weavers need a rival Guild of some sort:

Quote

The Weavers are in disarray after the events of the previous novel. Bobbin, the only one with any experience in leading the guild, tries to keep things together, but the other Weavers are reluctant to follow his lead. Meanwhile, the other guilds are trying to take advantage of the Weavers' weakness. Clothiers are selling fabric at exorbitant prices, and the Spinners are threatening to cut off the Weavers' supply of thread. The Weavers need to find a way to unify and strengthen their guild if they're going to survive. Bobbin comes up with a plan to improve the quality of their cloth, which will require the help of the other guilds. He also starts a clandestine operation to get the Spinners to provide them with better thread. With the Weavers' guild on the mend, they can start to take on the other guilds. They need to find allies among the other guilds, and expose the Clothiers' price-gouging. Bobbin also wants to find out what happened to his mother, who disappeared when he was a child. He suspects that she was taken by the mysterious organization that runs the city, and he's determined to find her.

 

Another random entry that seems to be drawing from very different source material:

Quote

In the sequel to LOOM, the main character, a young woman named Lila, has to find a way to save her friends and family from a group of criminals who are after a powerful artifact that Lila's father has in his possession. Lila must use her intelligence and resourcefulness to outwit the criminals and keep the artifact safe. Along the way, she discovers new allies and learns more about her own abilities.

 

Or perhaps a Star Wars crossover:

Quote

The Weaver's children, now grown, must continue their parents' fight against the Emperor's forces. They must find allies in other rebel groups and prepare for a final battle that will determine the fate of the world.

 

LOOM 2, by Electronic Arts

Quote

Loom 2: The Weaving The weavers are back and they're looking for revenge. After the events of the first game, they've been hiding in the shadows, biding their time. Now they're ready to take on the world again. The sequel will follow the weavers as they try to take over the world again. They'll face off against the same characters from the first game, as well as new ones. Expect more puzzles, more platforming, and more action.

 

This one's actually rather intriguing:

Quote

1. The Weaver's Guild discovers that there are other weavers with the same ability to see the future in the patterns of the cloth they weave. 2. The weavers must band together to stop a war that is coming. 3. They must also find a way to deal with the fact that their abilities are slowly driving them insane. 4. Meanwhile, the Loom is destroyed and the weavers must find a new way to see the future. 5. In the end, the weavers must choose between their sanity and the greater good.

 

Speaking of crossovers... how about Halo?

Quote

The Weavers Guild has been disbanded and its members are now outlaws. Bobbin, Cortana, and their friends must find a way to survive in a hostile world while evading capture by the Guild's enemies. They must also find a way to stop the Guild's machinations before more innocent people are hurt.

 

Some more input that is obviously based on different source material. I don't remember the "Sarans" from the first game.

Quote

Loom: The Weaving of a New World 1. The war with the Sarans is over, but the peace is tenuous at best. The Sarans have been defeated, but they are not gone. 2. The Weavers are now the ruling class, but they are not loved by all. There are those who resent their power and seek to overthrow them. 3. The Weavers must now find a way to govern the world they have won, and to protect themselves from those who would do them harm. 4. Meanwhile, the Sarans are regrouping and plotting their revenge. They will stop at nothing to destroy the Weavers and take back what is rightfully theirs. 5. The stage is set for a new conflict, one that could destroy both the Weavers and the Sarans. Who will prevail in this struggle for power?

 

And here's a storyline that pits "Loomweavers" against the "Weaver". I think video-game writers can keep their day jobs for now.

Quote

1. The surviving members of the Loomweavers Guild must find a new home after their island is destroyed. 2. They must also find a way to stop the new evil that has been unleashed in the world. 3. The new evil is known as the Weaver, and he is determined to enslave all of humanity. 4. The Loomweavers must find a way to stop the Weaver and save the world.