Sam Fisher Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 They used to come out to my house a long time ago, but haven't seen them in a long time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Monkey Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 Another way of chasing off zealots... 1: With embarrassed haste, call out, "Y-yes?" 2: Simultaneously kick over a small endtable. 3: Baa like sheep. 4: If they knock again, answer the door naked. vlr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 STTCT full proof way of getting rid o JW JW "Knock Knock" STTCT: " KILL TOBY KILL" WOOF WOOF SNARL SNARL JW "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Toby is the name of my pitbull errrrm well actually he is a white puff ball pomeranian but he's still kinda scary.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 you want a quick and easy way of getting rid of a Jehova's Witnesses? answer the door and just say... "i used to be a Jehova's Witnesses" they will leave without a word and never come back. this is because they are not permitted to talk to anyone who has left the 'order' or whatever they call it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clemme w/Stick Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 Originally posted by C'jais It'd be easier for them if they didn't try so hard. Yea...! I once had a run in with one of em. I was on my way home from school, when an older lady stopped me and started to hand me some papers and stuff. I noded my head and smiled, and so on. When she left and got on my way I threw the papers into some1 yard and I've never seen them since... I cant take em....Dont ask me why, I just cant. -Clemme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Another Day Posted May 19, 2003 Author Share Posted May 19, 2003 Guys... They came back! Today, two of them showed up, saying "I believe we called several days ago? Have you had time to think about our cause?" The problem was, that was all they managed to say. I have been looking at some of your idea's on here, and so answered the door clutching a hardcore porn magazine and a can of Fosters lager. My flies were undone. (By the way, it took me several seconds to round up these items, since I don't just have them lying around my house! The porn magazine belongs to my lodger, I promise you.) The conversation was as follows: ***** Jehova's Witness One - "I believe we called several days ago. Have you had time to think about... er..." Jehova's Witness Two - "Oh my! Have you no shame?" Me - "Me? No, I think I lost it in a game of poker." Jehova's Witness One - "I'm sorry, but we really would like to talk to you about... erm... about..." Me - "Oh, I am sorry! Where are my manners? Would you like a lager... or maybe you want to flick through this?" I wave the porn magazine at them, my eyebrows raised in a sort-of 'well, go on, take it!' look. The first Jehova guy looks like he is going to be sick all over my doorstep. Me - "No? Maybe you want to gamble, say, over a game of blackjack? I could try and win back my shame..." Everything pretty much ended there and then. They bustled away down the street, muttering to themselves. The second Jehova's Witness glances back over his shoulder, and I wave politely before slamming my door shut. ***** Oh, what fun! Cheers for the tales of sick jokes on those lovely Jehova's Witnesses. You don't think I took it too far, do you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jared Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 Originally posted by Die Another Day Okay, the other day, my doorbell rang. Not a regular thing, I can assure you. I was greeted by an old man using a walking stick, who looked very nice and started talking about the world's situation. "Great!" I think. I enjoy deep, political discussions. Yes, I am patheticly beyond help. It's after about 20 minutes of talking that I realise that I've been talking with a Jehova's Witness. As he starts his little speech about Jesus returning to Earth and sorting everyone out, destroying all war and famine, I switch off. After several well-placed smiles and nods on my part, he gives me a leaflet and leaves. Which brings me to my question: do you listen and respond to Jehova's Witnesses? Do you answer the door and tell them to shove off? Do you smile politely and give some excuse ("I'm polishing my shotgun, do you mind?")? What do you do? PS: No offence to anyone here who is religious, or who knows any Jehova's Witnesses, or is one themselves. This isn't a "Why do you hate religion?" thread, so don't insult anyone please. Keep it nice, guys! OMG!!!! A few years ago, they just wouldn't quit ringing our doorbell!!! AHHHH!!! They better be glad I don't know where they live. ok ok. I have nothing against the religion, matter a fact I dont even know specifics about it...but they try to shove their religion down peoples throats! damn, get over it for once... anyways....no offence meant to anyone, eccept for the people ringing my doorbell....hey STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE YOU CULT!!!!! :D *hides, fearing assasination* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZBomber Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 Originally posted by Die Another Day Guys... They came back! Today, two of them showed up, saying "I believe we called several days ago? Have you had time to think about our cause?" The problem was, that was all they managed to say. I have been looking at some of your idea's on here, and so answered the door clutching a hardcore porn magazine and a can of Fosters lager. My flies were undone. (By the way, it took me several seconds to round up these items, since I don't just have them lying around my house! The porn magazine belongs to my lodger, I promise you.) The conversation was as follows: ***** Jehova's Witness One - "I believe we called several days ago. Have you had time to think about... er..." Jehova's Witness Two - "Oh my! Have you no shame?" Me - "Me? No, I think I lost it in a game of poker." Jehova's Witness One - "I'm sorry, but we really would like to talk to you about... erm... about..." Me - "Oh, I am sorry! Where are my manners? Would you like a lager... or maybe you want to flick through this?" I wave the porn magazine at them, my eyebrows raised in a sort-of 'well, go on, take it!' look. The first Jehova guy looks like he is going to be sick all over my doorstep. Me - "No? Maybe you want to gamble, say, over a game of blackjack? I could try and win back my shame..." Everything pretty much ended there and then. They bustled away down the street, muttering to themselves. The second Jehova's Witness glances back over his shoulder, and I wave politely before slamming my door shut. ***** Oh, what fun! Cheers for the tales of sick jokes on those lovely Jehova's Witnesses. You don't think I took it too far, do you? Nice one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Eggplant Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 I am a magnet for religious types. I cant go anywhere without any and all of them trying to convert me. (just two weeks ago) I got something different a muttering filthy mad man suddenly grabbed me by the head and started shaking it (my head) yelling 'OUT Satan!" that was a first. I mean I am amused by it, I am on a bus, they are on a bus. they come up to me and ask me if I know who Jesus Christ was. My usual response is, hmmm let me see, white male, living in north america, part of a culture who embraces christian\judeaic\islamic beliefs. in the 20th century, now 21st, have I ever heard of Jesus? No who is he? actually a great line gets said by Robert Diniro in Angel Heart. great movie if you have not seen it you should. anyhow the line more or less said. god made just enough religion so that man could hate and not enough so they could love something like that. spirituality is really what matters and yet people get hung up on religion itself. certain native american indians believe there are many paths and many names for god, yet all lead to the same end. depending on who you are, affilited makes a difference. If you are spiritual and willing to examine other belief systems you can appreciate other people and see and know where they are coming from. if you believe their is only one god one faith one religion and the rest dont count, than this post will not matter. religion is something only god for sure is going to be able to tell you, if it exists, and instead of fightingg with someone or making them feel bad, let those of any religion practice that religiom. but also make sure their beliefs do not encroach upon you and yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
•-BLaCKouT-• Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 Originally posted by Die Another Day You don't think I took it too far, do you? LOL no. B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Warrior Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Jehova's Witnesses: Evil or Nice? well they are ok, but i couldnt eat a whole one, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 i must admit im mean i open the door, take one look, here them start there speech, and *BOOM* i slam the door without warning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Originally posted by Jah Warrior Jehova's Witnesses: Evil or Nice? well they are ok, but i couldnt eat a whole one, jah you are a nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
another_trooper Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Evil or nice? More like bizzare and annoying! You just want to tell them f**k off!!, but being a nice person you cant say that! Oh and good one DarthGroovy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skate Boy Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 I just lost a lot of respect for a lot of people here. Practicly everyone in this thread. And it's Jehovah's Witnesses. Just in case you were wondering, I am one. Think about this. We're humans too, and we don't feel good when you don't treat us mean. If you don't want to listen, tell us you're not interested, don't slam the door, cuss at us, just say "I'm not interested, please don't come back. It's very simple, you see. @Datheus No, we don't get paid. It's voluntary. @Dath, Thanks. @STTCT, I love finding people like you at the door. @ munik, THanks, it's nice to know at least one honest person is here. I'm not being sarcastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Warrior Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 this thread would suit jais' senate better i reckon. oh and skateboy, i have equal contempt for all religions, you aint being singled out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acrylic Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Originally posted by Skate Boy I just lost a lot of respect for a lot of people here. Practicly everyone in this thread. And it's Jehovah's Witnesses. Just in case you were wondering, I am one. Think about this. We're humans too, and we don't feel good when you don't treat us mean. If you don't want to listen, tell us you're not interested, don't slam the door, cuss at us, just say "I'm not interested, please don't come back. It's very simple, you see. Well, I've lost a damn lot of respect for you too! Nah, , j/k man. I dont mind you guys what soever, but the only thing I hate is when you guys try to CONVERT....I hate that. I'm Roman Catholic and damned proud of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skate Boy Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Originally posted by AcrylicGuitar Well, I've lost a damn lot of respect for you too! Nah, , j/k man. I dont mind you guys what soever, but the only thing I hate is when you guys try to CONVERT....I hate that. I'm Roman Catholic and damned proud of it. Then say you're not interested. @Thrackan Solo, Did he really put his foot in the door.I'm not saying he didn't I'm just wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acrylic Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Originally posted by Skate Boy Then say you're not interested. Well, I do. I'm a nice person. They only "visit" us about once every 2 years. But if its frequent, then I'd eventually get mad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 your welcome skateboy, besides, i slam the door on everyone my own family too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Originally posted by Skate Boy I just lost a lot of respect for a lot of people here. Practicly everyone in this thread. And it's Jehovah's Witnesses. Just in case you were wondering, I am one. Think about this. We're humans too, and we don't feel good when you don't treat us mean. If you don't want to listen, tell us you're not interested, don't slam the door, cuss at us, just say "I'm not interested, please don't come back. It's very simple, you see. @Datheus No, we don't get paid. It's voluntary. @Dath, Thanks. @STTCT, I love finding people like you at the door. @ munik, THanks, it's nice to know at least one honest person is here. I'm not being sarcastic. hey i was being honest aren't you gonna say thanks for being honest. i don't mind people and their beliefs just don't interupt my afterschool movies. even if you were freakin mother theressa i would tell ya to bugger off. only if you interupt my movie, otherwise i'll be nice and have a chat. im sorry my joke offended you.l i was just messin around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Originally posted by Skate Boy Then say you're not interested. sadly that doesnt work on the people here. i used to be nice to people even when they interupted my movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Warrior Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 lol my mum, a sunday school teacher, (dunno what denomination - its just god i spose) she invites them in for a cuppa tea and a chat and tries to convert them. hehe religion:- protection racket for the after-life, now give us all your money LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki GM Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 there are probably two ways that I might awnser the door one: they come and I say no thanks if they come again I say no thanks and if they come again I say let me get my dad and close the door and dont return to it two: they come and I say let me go get my dad close the door and dont return if they start ringing the door bell so much that it gets annoying I return to the door and yell out WEINER!!! but I dont think that there are that many if any Jehovah's Witnesses in WY I dont think that people should try to get me to doubt my religion because I doubt it enough on my own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 The meanest thing I've ever done to ANY JW was I told my dog *Bumper* to attack him. He ran. The thing is, my dog comes a little bit above my ankles...so its not so mean except she will actually attack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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