Love: is it a decision

[RevanA4]

ok before ya go he is at it again this isn't what ya think

 

I was listening to the radio this morning and someone said something that floored me they said that love was a decision I just wanna see how many of ya agree or dissagree and why and plz if you vote tell why you voted how you did

 

thanks

 

Revan the great

 

 

edit: I said no because you don't just decide you are going to love someone it just happens and sometimes you are clueless as to why you are in love with someone

[ET Warrior]

More or less. You choose who you want to be with, and typically fall in love with who you chose to be with.

[RaV™]

Of course it's a decision I really doubt someone is forced to love someone else unless your under a different religion/ government.

[RevanA4]

nah I think love just happens you don't wake up one day and decide you are going love someone it happen naturally sometimes with out you being aware of it until something happens to you or them

[Aash Li]

Love is a chemical reaction (I hate saying it like that) and a bit more, its a mysterious force, and I dont care what some people say, it doesnt care who, or what you are.

 

But let me explain a bit more... Love and attraction are linked but also different. Im not sure there is something such as "love at first sight" but the squishy poet from beyond the stars in me, wants to believe there is. Who you are attracted to is something that you have little control over. Falling in love is a little more controllable. You can fall in love with a persons appearance, but thats where its linked to attraction. But when a person falls in love with another person, its their personality that is promoting the love, which is why sometimes a homely guy/girl can have boy/girlfriend that is really sexy.

This is also a reason why I think people can fall in love over the internet, because its their personality they are falling for... but if theyve never seen the person in a pic or in real life, and then when they do, theres the chance that the person will not be attracted to that person, and one or both will fall out of love.

 

So, even though, I answered no, I think its a loaded, and complicated question that is best answered with yes-no.

 

*puts away her psychologist's hat*

[Achilles]

I answered "yes" because "kinda" wasn't available. There is love and then there is being in love. Unfortunately a lot of people confuse the two and often think that they are the same thing. After a while (ergo, after getting your heart broken a few times) you (hopefully) begin to realize that they are different.

 

The idea of being "in love" is still kinda cool, but you might begin to seek out partners that you can grow to love rather than people that sweep you off your feet. Essentially what it comes down to is the realization that after the infatuation is over, there has to be something to keep you (and/or the other person) coming around for more. That's what love is: genuine caring for someone that you may or may not be "in love" with at the time.

 

After you declared that "this is the one!" enough times, you'll start to discover that there is no such thing as a perfect match and that soul mates don't exist. But that doesn't mean that love isn't real and you better learn to accept that it's also a lot of work and not that fake storybook crap they feed us when we're kids. Find someone that you care about, commit to putting up with each other's faults, and then learn to appreciate the fact that the grass isn't greener on the other side and that it won't be easier with someone else.

 

*Disclaimer: Unless your partner is physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive. If you find yourself trapped with one of these people, bail ASAP. The key concept is "healthy relationships".

 

*Steps off of soapbox*

[RevanA4]

well can a mod but put a yes-no answer in there I was gonna put it down but I thought i might confuse people

[ET Warrior]

nah I think love just happens you don't wake up one day and decide you are going love someone

Nor do you walk down the street and randomly realize that you're in love with that girl over at the bus stop.

[90SK]

^^^

Of course, not. It's a gradual process. You get to know someone, and eventually you realize that you've fallen in love. Of course, you may "want" to fall in love with this person, but arguably the falling has already happened by then.

[ET Warrior]

Yet it was your concious decision to be around them that led to your sudden "realization" So one can say you chose to put yourself in the proper position.

 

It's like if I get hit by a bus because I was standing in front of it. I didn't exactly choose for that bus to hit me, I just chose to put myself where it was likely to happen.

[90SK]

Unless you're standing on the sidewalk, and the bus unexpectedly veers off the road and hits you. It's like that with love, in some cases: Maybe you're friends with someone, and they introduce you to a friend of theirs, and you end up seeing a lot of that person. You eventually find that you have feelings for that person, and thus you choose to see that person more often.

 

Basically, yeah you’re right, but I think that there is a mutual attraction that occurs beforehand that is beyond our control.

[ET Warrior]

Well, physical attraction is indeed something we don't control. I have no idea why I find some girls hot and others not. That I'll agree is something that's not really a decision.

[REDJOHNNYMIKE]

It does depend on which love you are talking about, there's more than one,

Loving your neighbor for example, which is definitely a choice, and a really hard one to make;)

[Rogue15]

yeah it's a choice.

[Bob Lion54]

Well, with the Favorite line thread, I might as well quote a song here.

 

"You can't make a heart love somebody. You can lead a heart to love, but you can't make it fall"

 

Pretty much sums up my feelings. The oppisite is true, too. Sometimes you'll fall in love with someone you don't mean to. One day you are just friends, then WAM you relize you love that person.

 

Sure, you can try to force it, but that never works. If you ignore it, it dosen't go away. (not if its real love, then its just infatuation)

[MdKnightR]

I tend to think that love itself isn't a choice, although you make choices that may eventually lead to a situation where you fall in love with someone. I think most religious/spiritual people think of love as something that is ordained or destined. I am not one of these people, and therefore tend to think it is more chemistry than anything. Of course, if you think it is a choice to fall in love, is it also a choice to fall out of it? I would imagine that most people would say "NO" to that idea.

[El Sitherino]

"Love" is biological, not some concious effort.

 

There's loving someone and then there's wanting to make love to someone (read Lust).

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Good thing that a teenager didn't ask this question, because I would have to tell them the same story again.

 

Anyway, since this is a phsycological topic, and I plan on studying it (as well as Astronomy, Biology and Philosophy with it), so I'll just start:

 

 

The anwser is YES... and NO.

 

You see, love is a emotion. As in most mamals and birds, love for a child is always with them, wheter they liked it or not. The truth is, emotions have been a part of a human being since 300 000 B.C. (when the first Homo Sapiens appeared).

 

Emotions are acctuely a part of us and they can sometimes act for us and in most cases instead of us. But since we hold the gift of WILL we can choose wheter to follow our emotions, or do something else, depenidng on our decision. However, even if you aren't interested in following the emotion of attraction for example, it will still be there. Or perhaps the emotion of love, which will at some point exist, and it will either be revealed or stay within us as a nusance at some point, or we won't notice it at all.

 

So, love is both a matter of decision and the human being itself, it is a part of who and what we are. And yet again, will emotions be inside of us or be revealed by ourselves, or by itself; depends on many factors: Genetic, Opinon-based, Knowledgable, Logical, and so on.

[El Sitherino]

Good thing that a teenager didn't ask this question, because I would have to tell them the same story again.

 

Anyway, since this is a phsycological topic, and I plan on studying it (as well as Astronomy, Biology and Philosophy with it), so I'll just start:

 

 

The anwser is YES... and NO.

 

You see, love is a emotion. As in most mamals and birds, love for a child is always with them, wheter they liked it or not. The truth is, emotions have been a part of a human being since 300 000 B.C. (when the first Homo Sapiens appeared).

 

Emotions are acctuely a part of us and they can sometimes act for us and in most cases instead of us. But since we hold the gift of WILL we can choose wheter to follow our emotions, or do something else, depenidng on our decision. However, even if you aren't interested in following the emotion of attraction for example, it will still be there. Or perhaps the emotion of love, which will at some point exist, and it will either be revealed or stay within us as a nusance at some point, or we won't notice it at all.

 

So, love is both a matter of decision and the human being itself, it is a part of who and what we are. And yet again, will emotions be inside of us or be revealed by ourselves, or by itself; depends on many factors: Genetic, Opinon-based, Knowledgable, Logical, and so on.

 

All you talked about was acting on our emotion. Decision to show it, nothing in what you said gave any reason to believe that love in itself is a choice anymore than we choose to be overcome with some other complex emotion. If anything if further showed there is no concious effort in the matter. In the end **** happens and we can't do anything about it's existence, we can merely choose to accept that it's there or ignore it.

[RevanA4]

OK I'm shocked at the amount of people who think Loving someone is a choice it isn't

 

now granted you can make decisions that put yourself in a position to fall in love but that actual act of falling in love is a natural one you don't choose it it just happens and there is no rhyme or reason to people falling in love it just happens whether you realize it or not

[ET Warrior]

OK I'm shocked you made a poll if you didn't expect anything but no's.

 

Seriously, it all depends on your point of view. I believe it is your choices that lead you to it, and therefore it was your decision to do it. If I didn't want to fall in love it would be easy enough, so there must be some manner of decision to it.

[MdKnightR]

According to the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy....On the topic of Love, avoid at all costs.

[Prime]

I find it hilarious that there is a thread where people think they have "what is love?" figured out in the same forum where a whole bunch of people are asking "how do I get a girlfriend?"

 

[El Sitherino]

OIf I didn't want to fall in love it would be easy enough, so there must be some manner of decision to it.

Well you don't want to be sad, so you avoid getting yourself into situations where that would happen. But... it still happens, against your will. Unless you're a sociopath that is.

 

I find it hilarious that there is a thread where people think they have "what is love?" figured out in the same forum where a whole bunch of people are asking "how do I get a girlfriend?"

 

Irony is delicious.

[RevanA4]

OK I'm shocked you made a poll if you didn't expect anything but no's.

 

Seriously, it all depends on your point of view. I believe it is your choices that lead you to it, and therefore it was your decision to do it. If I didn't want to fall in love it would be easy enough, so there must be some manner of decision to it.

 

 

I expected some yes's but not as much or more than no's

 

@ prime this poll came about as a result of a defferent poll that a local radio station was doing about can you turn off you feeling which some lady said that "yes you can cuz love is a decision after all"

 

which they did this poll today but I didn't listen to it