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Movies NOT to Watch!!!

Tysyacha

By Tysyacha
in Ahto Spaceport Cantina

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Jae Onasi Newbie

Jae Onasi

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It's far, far from being the worst movies I've watched but I wanted to nominate the last two Pirates of the Caribbean movies because they're everything but good and still terribly overrated. Now less than before, thankfully.

 

Agreed. The first one was hard enough to sit through, but both the second and third were impossible.

 

Hey, now, these movies brought the tasty goodness that is Orlando Bloom to the world. That makes them automatically awesome.

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Ser'eck Newbie

Ser'eck

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One I just watched, Cold Souls. Starring Paul Giamatti playing as himself who becomes highly stressed out he decides to have his soul extracted and stored, but when he decides to restore it his soul becomes in the mix of a Russian blackmarket. He struggles to get it back.

 

About Schmidt Starring Jack Nicholson.

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Darth Avlectus Newbie

Darth Avlectus

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Dumb and Dumber is epic, with a botched ending. DO NOT WATCH PAST HARRY GETTING UP AND SHOOTING THAT GUY. I can never watch it much past that point.

 

That ending is just such fail beyond sucking more than anything that has ever sucked before. How *anyone* is a pair of STUPID AZZ DUMB ****ING IDIOT putzes enough to miss an opportunity to ride a bus full of hot women that need you to oil them up--WHILE YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR LUCK (as they were), and the opportunity is in the form several pairs of boobies practically knocking you in the face...is quite beyond me.

 

I only had to see that ending twice to know it sucked: Once for the initial shocker of what it was, the second time to confirm it sucked that bad. I want those few minutes of my life back.

 

SLICKIE QUCIKIE POLL: How many people here would jump on the opportunity to ride a bus with (and cop a feel of with MASSAGE OIL), 14 of the hottest Sports Illustrated models of the year? How many people would like to feel all that up?

 

I would.

 

 

 

Other movies I advise you never to watch: ANY Home Alone beyond #2...well, maybe that fan movie Home Alone 5 on YT b/c Kevin has a cannibalistic streak in him--but that doesn't count as anything more than a YT epic.

 

The anime movie Escaflowne...it's merely a greivously cut and abridged compliation of the series so heinously done it doesn't make sense if you're sober and have half a pea brain. I was probably high *and* stoned out of my gord when I first saw it on TV at a party, looking to get away because I got stuck with the mooch of the party at my table.

At least I made up for both:

-> the sober second view of the movie keel hauling it (a gift which I rarely treat that way--which says something)

-> the idiot on the first time by drinking and smoking myself into oblivion followed quickly by huffing this stuff going around the rave dance floor called "Rave" (ironically) under the laser disco spinner until I puked. I'm surprised I kept the absynthe down as long as I did for a first timer (30 minutes).

 

Mr Nanny. Hulk Hogan is a moderate to decent actor at best in a movie that wasn't even worth his time.

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Astor Newbie

Astor

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Dumb and Dumber is epic, with a botched ending. DO NOT WATCH PAST HARRY GETTING UP AND SHOOTING THAT GUY. I can never watch it much past that point.

 

That ending is just such fail beyond sucking more than anything that has ever sucked before. How *anyone* is a pair of STUPID AZZ DUMB ****ING IDIOT putzes enough to miss an opportunity to ride a bus full of hot women that need you to oil them up--WHILE YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR LUCK (as they were), and the opportunity is in the form several pairs of boobies practically knocking you in the face...is quite beyond me.

 

Uhh, the whole premise of the film is that they're idiots.

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Jae Onasi Newbie

Jae Onasi

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There was a 1973 movie about a guy who's slowly turned into a cobra by some mad scientist, called Sssssss (no kidding, 7 Ss). Frankly, if _I_ were going to turn anyone into a snake, it would be something generally innocuous and cute, like a garter snake, certainly not something like a King Cobra that could kill me once it had grown fangs. On the plus side, it has Dirk Benedict (who went on to star as Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica and Face in The A-Team).

 

Pro-tip for parents: if you have a 4 year old, and go to a family party, and get snockered while there's a tornado warning going on, don't watch the 1955 movie "Tarantula" where the 4 year old can see it, laughing at the ridiculous sci-fi effects while not noticing the child taking cover under a coffee table. It would be wise to go to the basement, as a matter of fact, as the weatherman frequently advised in the constant interruptions for weather bulletins letting us know how close the tornado was coming. To this day, I swear the giant spider had red eyes, even though IMDB says the movie is in black-and-white. I saw a portion of the movie years later, and it's a typical B-horror movie from the '50's--awful.

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Darth Avlectus Newbie

Darth Avlectus

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^Dumb and Dumber?! WHAAAAAAAT?! That movie is amazing...its prequel - "Dumb and Dumberer" - not so much...

 

Read again: I said the movie is epic with a botched ending.

 

Uhh, the whole premise of the film is that they're idiots.
Thanks captain obvious. :p

 

I mean they are idiots, but they're testosterone filled, pheromone driven idiots. The entire plot is hinged more or less around that. So the ending just doesn't make sense...NOW they decide to use what little brains are between them and turn off "the juice", as it were?

 

I guess it's just so stupid it makes me mad.

 

Yeah, but they're still supposed to be straight. :xp:

 

That's the mystery of it.

 

*looks at story writer, points finger*

"HAAAAAAX!"

*throws monitor full of monkey doodey and ninja stars*

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Tommycat Newbie

Tommycat

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well this one is one that comes with a caution... IF you happen to be on a lot of recreational pharmaceuticals, it might be good to you. otherwise, this is on my list of never see again.

ZARDOZ

(This BBCode requires its accompanying plugin to work properly.)

 

after two hours of this, you are left pretty much

:eyeraise:

 

Trust me, the movie makes less sense than the trailer.

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Totenkopf Newbie

Totenkopf

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I've unfortunatley seen some of the end of that movie. I think they only real reason it got made was to have Sean Connery run around in a skimpy looking outfit. Now, if only it had been Raquel.... :D (and yeah, I know she'd already made a cheesy dinosaur era pic prior to that).

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Arcesious Newbie

Arcesious

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Have you ever seen Patch Adams? Imagine cringing for two hours straight. It was sheer torture. It's the kind of film that you'd recommend to someone that you secretly despise.

 

Are you kidding me? That is a great inspirational movie.

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mimartin Newbie

mimartin

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I’ve seen some really terrible movies in my life, I’d love to include movie like The Tooth Fairy, Land of the Lost or Talladega Night, but I’ll limit myself only ones I walked out of before the film was over.

 

1. Reds 1981 – Warren Beatty.

2. Ishtar 1987 – Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman

3. Annie 1982 – Albert Finny and Tim Curry

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mimartin Newbie

mimartin

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Anything with Nicolas Cage (except for Kick-Ass).

 

:disaprove I hope you are not including Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Raising Arizona in that all-inclusive assessment. Personally I also liked Guarding Tess, Valley Girl and The Family Man

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Tommycat Newbie

Tommycat

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Cage has a lot of BAD movies. He has some really good ones too. Funny thing is I can't think of a single movie he has been in that I said, "Meh it was alright." It's either "I loved it" or "I want those two hours back."

 

Wait... Gone in 60 seconds. That one was "Meh"

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