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Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards


leXX

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1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...

 

(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

 

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

 

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

 

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

 

(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

 

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....

 

(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

 

5. Someday I hope to marry...

 

(Inside card) - Someone other than you.

 

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

 

(Inside card) - Almost life like!

 

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

 

(Inside card! ) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

 

8. We've been friends for a very long time...

 

(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

 

9. I'm so miserable without you...

 

(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

 

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....

 

(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

 

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

 

(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

 

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...

 

(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

 

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

 

(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)

 

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

 

(Inside card) - What was I thinking?

 

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...

 

(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband

 

:D

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Those are funny, leXX. I think this thread appropriate to tell a story about a while back.

 

I was in the hospital because doctors thought I had a disease. I was in the hospital for about a week. Everyone from church and the family brought me stuff. Presents, cards, money, etc.

 

My grandpa brought me a card. It was a happy brithday card he had received aparently a few years ago. He scratched out "Happy Birthday" and wrote "get well soon" and scratched out his name and wrote mine.

 

Very Funny and true. :D

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Originally posted by obi-wan13

Those are funny, leXX. I think this thread appropriate to tell a story about a while back.

 

I was in the hospital because doctors thought I had a disease. I was in the hospital for about a week. Everyone from church and the family brought me stuff. Presents, cards, money, etc.

 

My grandpa brought me a card. It was a happy brithday card he had received aparently a few years ago. He scratched out "Happy Birthday" and wrote "get well soon" and scratched out his name and wrote mine.

 

Very Funny and true. :D

 

:lol: Great stuff! :D

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