Excusing yourself from class

[MdKnightR]

Tell me if this sounds backwards to you. It has been a repeating occurance in my classroom for years. Many of the same kids that will fart in class to get attention ask to be excused to blow their noses because they don't want to be rude! Any thoughts?

[El Sitherino]

Kill them with unmerciless fury, using a large wooden spoon made from an even larger wooden spoon.

[Emperor Devon]

[Comment about InsaneSith deleted now that he's a super mod.]

 

I have several ideas, and a question. Why do they need to blow their noses if they've farted? Those sound effects are related to completely different parts of the body.

 

(1. Say "I see you want attention from the class. Okay, everyone look at <insert name here.> Now that your hunger for attention has been slated, let's continue with <insert what you had been doing here.>

 

(2. Tell them that if they don't stop trying to get attention, you'll give them a detention or call their parents.

 

(3. Completely ignore them when they ask to blow their noses.

 

(4. Place a box of tissues on each one of their desks.

 

(5. Do what my seventh grade teacher would do - slam a meterstick down on their desks and shout their names in a fakey-dramatic voice. It sounds harsh, but a lot of people thought it was really funny.

 

(6. Give them a box of tissues and tell them to sit in the hall for the remainder of the period. If they don't turn in any homework becuase they never heard you, too bad.

 

(7. Give slightly more homework each time a person farts. To all the class.

 

I hope that helps!

[stingerhs]

heh, go figure. i've also found a similar situation to be quite annoying with cell phones in the middle of lecture. even when those darned things are on vibrate, its just as rude since they're always vibrating against the desk, a belt buckle, or something in the backpack/purse. and like you said, they'll excuse themselves to go blow their nose or something.

 

the best i can do is just ignore them and move on with the note-taking.

[Jeff]

Kill them with unmerciless fury, using a large wooden spoon made from an even larger wooden spoon.

I like this idea.

[MdKnightR]

I have several ideas, and a question. Why do they need to blow their noses if they've farted? Those sound effects are related to completely different parts of the body.

 

I didn't mean that they do it all in the same day. I was only commenting on the fact that most everyone will ask to be excused to blow their noses (which is fine if they need to because of a cold or allergies), but some folks think it is hilarious when they cut a raunchy one in the middle of class. I have even asked some of these occasional windbags why they need to go out in the hall now when, in the past, they have gladly shared their noisy gas with the class.

 

Now, a blow by blow (pardon the pun) of each of your suggestions and how they relate to public education in the State of Georgia...

 

(1. Say "I see you want attention from the class. Okay, everyone look at <insert name here.> Now that your hunger for attention has been slated, let's continue with <insert what you had been doing here.>

 

This would be seen as humiliation by the school board and would likely get me reprimanded or fired.

 

(2. Tell them that if they don't stop trying to get attention, you'll give them a detention or call their parents.

 

Works with some of them, but by the time they are in high school, the only time most parents give a damn is the week before finals when it is too late to do anything about their grades and behavior.

 

(3. Completely ignore them when they ask to blow their noses.

 

This works until they walk out of the room without your permission, which adds more headaches to the situation. But, like I said before, this isn't the problem.

 

(4. Place a box of tissues on each one of their desks.

 

Actually, I keep a roll of tissue by the door just in case.

 

(5. Do what my seventh grade teacher would do - slam a meterstick down on their desks and shout their names in a fakey-dramatic voice. It sounds harsh, but a lot of people thought it was really funny.

 

I was "called out on the rug" once because of a similar situation. I slammed a book down on a desk to quiet a noisy class and got a good preaching to by the principal for it.

 

(6. Give them a box of tissues and tell them to sit in the hall for the remainder of the period. If they don't turn in any homework becuase they never heard you, too bad.

 

This wouldn't be a good plan either. Our principal has expressly warned everyone not to send a child out in the hall unsupervised for any reason whatsoever. Not only does it cause them to miss instruction, but it also poses a security issue.

 

(7. Give slightly more homework each time a person farts. To all the class.

 

Attrition (as in "a war of attrition") is frowned upon (if not entirely forbidden). Punishing the whole for the acts of a few is not something that they want you to do in class, even though the administration wields such power often and with great authority.

 

I hope that helps!

 

Not really, but thanks for the suggestions anyway.

[stingerhs]

jeez, what happened to the days where you picked up a ruler and gave them a good'n right in the hind-quarters??? oh wait, never mind....

[Emperor Devon]

Geez, your school is strict. At my high school, the teachers could send people into the hall. Hmm... I can think of some ideas...

 

(1. Be less helpful. If they lose a paper, don't give another copy.

 

(2. Ask them why they fart so much.

 

(3. Be less helpful. Be meaner and gruffer, but not to the point where you could reprimanded by your (ridiculous sounding) principal.

 

(4. Doesn't detention work just like a charm?

 

(5. Stop them is they leave the room, but apart from that, do not speak to them.

 

(6. Be slightly more annoying. Examine their binders, or start new policies where you randomly examine binders and give grades.

 

(7. Say that the farting noises they're making are tempting you to give them tests on random days without notifications.

 

(8. Find out what they hate. EXPLOIT IT!!

 

(9. Give long, dull lectures. Plow on whether they fart or not.

 

(10. When someone farts, share with them how back in the Middle Ages, they could've been beaten, or had there fingers locked into pieces of wood attached to the wall for a day.

 

(11. Share boring stores. Whether you made them up or not is irrelevent.

 

I suppose this is rather typical. I saw a lot of people like that in high school, and surprisingly even more of them in college.

[MdKnightR]

jeez, what happened to the days where you picked up a ruler and gave them a good'n right in the hind-quarters??? oh wait, never mind....

 

Oh, those were the days! :nostalgia: I really wish they would give the paddles back to the teachers...or at the very least have one in the principal's office. Spare the rod, spoil the child!

[Bastila]

In College here you can just walk out no questions asked lol.

[stingerhs]

In College here you can just walk out no questions asked lol.

hehe, all too true. sometimes, though, i've had a couple of professors make a fuss about it to the students that do walk out.

[RevanA4]

In College here you can just walk out no questions asked lol.

 

hehe I've seen way to many people fail because of that hehe I survived my class because I never did this

[Hallucination]

This looks like a problem that my Math/science teacher had. What did he do? He sent kids out into that hall and (your gonna love this) he started making little mistake in his work, so the kids that listened would ask but the kids who didn't pay attention made messed work, some of them even thought pi was 3.34.Man that was funny on the finals.

[Darth333]

If ignorance doesn't work, perhaps you could play stupid with them: "Yes what did you wanted to ask <name> ?" "Oh sorry I thought I heard you raising your hand" or if you teach math or something like this prepare some questions on the matter and innocently ask them when they disturb the class. At least they will learn something

[RevanA4]

If ignorance doesn't work, perhaps you could play stupid with them: "Yes what did you wanted to ask <name> ?" "Oh sorry I thought I heard you raising your hand" or if you teach math or something like this prepare some questions on the matter and innocently ask them when they disturb the class.

 

um thats just evil there D333 but should work just because they are embarassed from it

[Hallucination]

prepare some questions on the matter and innocently ask them when they disturb the class. At least they will learn something

 

I'm not saying thats a bad idea, but I've never seen it work.

[Darth InSidious]

You can always try shouting random nonsense at them. a good scream of "I HAVE SEEN THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" to any given question'll shut them up. If not, give them tests on random subjects nothing to do with what you're teaching them. Start speaking and writing in another language, the more obscure or difficult, the better, and switch languages constantly at random, if possible. Then, when the principle starts whinging, you can say that all the notes where there for them. When they ask a stupid question, glare at them for just long enough to disturb them. Say a minute. Or start talking gibberish. Suddenly start writing random poetry, or song lyrics, or random nonsense in their notes, to see if they are paying attention. Also, you could try making them all address you as something silly, or have to do something ridiculous before they can leave the room. Say, recite the alphabet and count to 100 standing on their head. Or take some of their notes from them, and doodle round the edges. Do it at random, and it may start to worry them very badly. You could try giving them homework on nothing to do with your subject, and on something quite astoundingly obscure. Say, the history of ping-pong balls, on top of their initial homework. Keep adding essays as they continue to misbehave. Then when they don't do it all, punish them as appropriate.

 

I hope at least one of these is helpful

[Emperor Devon]

That probably won't be helpful, but it was really funny!

[ET Warrior]

Or you could just ignore it, as it doesn't seem to be much of an actual problem so much as an annoyance.

[Rok_stoned]

Quote:

Originally Posted by InsaneSith

Kill them with unmerciless fury, using a large wooden spoon made from an even larger wooden spoon.

 

I like this idea.

 

I hear he came up with that idea from a bigger idea.

 

(its ture its from the simpsons still funny... and warm.

[MdKnightR]

You can always try shouting random nonsense at them. a good scream of "I HAVE SEEN THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" to any given question'll shut them up. If not, give them tests on random subjects nothing to do with what you're teaching them. Start speaking and writing in another language, the more obscure or difficult, the better, and switch languages constantly at random, if possible. Then, when the principle starts whinging, you can say that all the notes where there for them. When they ask a stupid question, glare at them for just long enough to disturb them. Say a minute. Or start talking gibberish. Suddenly start writing random poetry, or song lyrics, or random nonsense in their notes, to see if they are paying attention. Also, you could try making them all address you as something silly, or have to do something ridiculous before they can leave the room. Say, recite the alphabet and count to 100 standing on their head. Or take some of their notes from them, and doodle round the edges. Do it at random, and it may start to worry them very badly. You could try giving them homework on nothing to do with your subject, and on something quite astoundingly obscure. Say, the history of ping-pong balls, on top of their initial homework. Keep adding essays as they continue to misbehave. Then when they don't do it all, punish them as appropriate.

 

I hope at least one of these is helpful

 

You must really want me to lose my job!

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Damn, your school is strict. I don't get it, why are you so soft to pupils, we were all like them. Why sure, we all neded a KICK IN THE A$$ every no and then. Why in my elementary school; they used to break rulers and kick them across the class room; throw toys, with which were the pupils playing, through the window (in front of the class!), and the pupils are the ones that get in trobule; they used to give F's for going to the bathroom.

 

Now let's see:

 

PROBLEM: The kids in high-school are excusing themselves from class to avoid it. They will use ANY possible excuse to exit. This is a very common problem with most teen-agers, they're irresbonsible, annoying, bratty, spoiled and irrational... They will most likely use excuses like: I want to blow my nose in the bathroom, I hurt my foot, I need to go to the toilet, their cellphone is ringing, they need to wear make-up and so on...

 

SOLUTION #1:

 

Whenever they ask you to blow their noses, so that they won't be rude; tell them that's it's OK for them to do it in the classroom, if they continue to argument you, ignore them, they'll soon enough get the message. If they hurt their foot, look at the hurt place, it will be obvious if they're lying or telling the truth. If they're cellphone is ringing, tell them that it isn't appropriate to phone in a class room. If they ask to go to the bathroom, tell them that they already had a chance and to wait for the next pause. Stop them from wearing any make-up.

 

SOLUTION #2:

 

Whever they ask to go out, act like either you heard nothing or you heard it wrong, they'll give up and stop asking. This might work because you're telling them that you don't care what they need to do, and eventually they'll either leave the class more, or stay more.

 

OR

 

SOLUTION #3:

 

If you are mostly turned to the blackboard, calculating equations (or showing on the map the battle of whatever; what is it you are teaching again?), then it's more likely that they are leaving because: a) They don't understand what are you saying; b) They want attention; c) It's very hard for them or d) They just don't like your subject ... So if they leave because it is boring, interact with them. Talk to them, tell them a sort of a story so that they might understand...

 

DESPERATE SOLUTION:

 

Stay put, shut up and just write on the blackboard.

 

IF NOTHING ELSE WORKS:

 

Blast them all, and tell them to go to hell!

 

Well, that's about all I can say. Sorry I can't be more of a help.

[PoM]

^^^Amen.(Especially the "most teenagers" part.)

 

But still...I prefer Darth333's idea, embarassing them in front of the class sure will work...*Maniacal laugh*

[Hallucination]

Vladimir-Vlada sure know what he's talking about. But tell them not to use their cell phones? In my school the teachers thake their phones, call all the numbers they recorded, then call someone long distance. I'm not joking, my french teacher called one of her friends in New Zealand.

[Dark_lord_Cheez]

Why not just let them leave the classroom to blow their nose, (they are going to leave the room for a few minutes I take it) and while they're gone teach the rest of the class something, then the next day have a pop-quiz on whatever it was you just taught the class, and if they fail it because they weren't in the room then it's their fault.

 

Or you could just stare at them for a couple seconds (with a slight hint of irritation) whenever they fart or ask to leave. After a couple times of doing that I think they'll get the hint.

 

And if those don't work, there must be some way to get rid of them all and make it look like an accident...