machievelli Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 lol, got to love him. Next to robert Heinglien, he is my most quoted author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediAthos Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 thank you for the compliment Mach...I guess there were a few things my spell check didn't catch It actually took me quite some time to gather the gumption to begin posting my writing for the general public viewing. I've been writing since I was in high school, and I'm 28 now, but this forum is the first place I've ever actually let anyone read my stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 thank you for the compliment Mach...I guess there were a few things my spell check didn't catch It actually took me quite some time to gather the gumption to begin posting my writing for the general public viewing. I've been writing since I was in high school, and I'm 28 now, but this forum is the first place I've ever actually let anyone read my stories. Join the club. I started writing when I was around eleven. My first story, written on what i had at hand (old computer punch cards) was so bad, I want to cringe just thinking about it. I even uderstand the attitude Darth333 had when she approached me because my first attempt in 1977 to actually sell anything was met by Jim Baen as I mentioned in a previous posting. That stopped me, along with my wife, for almost 30 years. You people here who have read more than one of my works have read more than any Agents was willing to look at, even more than any publishers would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Well, Baen obviously doesn't know his brains from his behind, so you can ignore his opinions. You do good work, and we here appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth333 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I even uderstand the attitude Darth333 had when she approached me because my first attempt in 1977 to actually sell anything was met by Jim Baen as I mentioned in a previous posting. Not too sure what that means and I don't remember my words then. The only thing I remember that you were all new to the forums with 16 posts on the boards and that those 16 posts were quality material You've done a terrific job and you continue to do so Mach. As Jae said, we appreciate it a lot Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediAthos Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Join the club. I started writing when I was around eleven. My first story, written on what i had at hand (old computer punch cards) was so bad, I want to cringe just thinking about it. I even uderstand the attitude Darth333 had when she approached me because my first attempt in 1977 to actually sell anything was met by Jim Baen as I mentioned in a previous posting. That stopped me, along with my wife, for almost 30 years. You people here who have read more than one of my works have read more than any Agents was willing to look at, even more than any publishers would. Actually, it was reading Republic Dawn and Jae's Adventures of Jolee Bindo that inspired me to go ahead write my first fic. Now I'm working on three different ones at once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Actually, it was reading Republic Dawn and Jae's Adventures of Jolee Bindo that inspired me to go ahead write my first fic. Now I'm working on three different ones at once There is no greater praise for an author to know they inspired someone. Keep at it, kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Not too sure what that means and I don't remember my words then. The only thing I remember that you were all new to the forums with 16 posts on the boards and that those 16 posts were quality material You've done a terrific job and you continue to do so Mach. As Jae said, we appreciate it a lot Thanks! Your comment was that you wanted a critic, but not one who would cut their legs off and make them feel bad. When I look at the people who said go away in the poll above, I notice that only two (I think) have been reviewed. One were upset that I had put the wrong name on the review, and even after that I didn't come down on him like Mjolnir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Hey mach, this may be a complete stupid and useless question, but im too lazy to check for myself ... Im just wondering ... have you reviewed The Second Coming of Evil, yet? I remember talking to you about it, and i 'think' i sent it to you via e-mail, but im not sure whether it got through or not (mind you, this was like 6 months ago i think). Anyways, just checking (Great job with the reviewing by the way) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Hey Mr_BFA, you don't mind if I answer do you? No mach hasn't reviewed The Second Coming of Evil. mach has reviewed both Talk About A Vacation and Love and Tranquility, but not TSCOE. I myself am looking foward to that review, since I've enjoyed TSCOE. Looking foward to more reviews mach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 9, 2007 Author Share Posted February 9, 2007 Hey mach, this may be a complete stupid and useless question, but im too lazy to check for myself ... Im just wondering ... have you reviewed The Second Coming of Evil, yet? I remember talking to you about it, and i 'think' i sent it to you via e-mail, but im not sure whether it got through or not (mind you, this was like 6 months ago i think). Anyways, just checking (Great job with the reviewing by the way) No I have not yet done it. Part of my problem is that the last six months has had a lot of real life problems which have caused me to have little or no spare time. Having to relocate in the next couple of months will not help this. But I do have a copy of your work on my computer, and I will review it this next week if at all possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Okie dokie, i hope the problems were sorted out well. Whenever you can get around to it is fine with me, its not a life or death situation after all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 9, 2007 Author Share Posted February 9, 2007 9 February Coruscant Entertainment Center I’m doing two extra from CEC and kotorfanmedia because I have finished the Jedi Archive. If there are not at least four for me to review next week, I will increase both kotorfanmedia to seven each starting next week. Legacy of One Reclaimer Set according to to the author between 2500 and 2000 years before Yavin: A dark lord of the Sith gathers power. The writing style is interesting as is the premise. Not too bad. Canonical note: This the only time I have ever seen someone use the equivalent of a grimoire in the series. Aren’t you mixing genres a bit here? The Lord of Pain Topsite Set before and during TSL: The story from Darth Sion’s view… The basic are here, and with a little polishing, it will be excellent. Technical note: As a sailor, what you suggested, getting Sion aboard the ship completely undetected is next to impossible. No, I take it back, with a ship that has an active boat bay, it is impossible. Either the bay is sealed, or it is open. If it is sealed, you can’t get aboard. If it’s open, you have a crew on duty. Second, while ships do have blind spots, they are not all inclusive. As an example, submarines have an arc approximately 5 degrees wide directly behind them called the baffles, where they can’t detect an eney or missile. However outside of that arc, any modern sub would detect you, and the launch bays would have to be in a well-protected area, which the stern is not. Third, when Sion was found supposedly wandering the passageways, the first thing they would have tried to do is ID him. The instant they knew he wasn’t a crew member, they would have ordered a full scale alert, found his ship, and put much better security then they had in the game. Just my military training screaming ‘wait a blasted minute’! It would have been better to have his ship adrift. That way, getting him aboard is something the crew would have done as a humanitarian gesture. Honour bound HappyMojo Set during the interim before KOTOR The style is a bit stilted and drab, but nothing a quick polish won’t cure. I’m guilty of it myself at times. All in all good work. Remember that when you have a speak continue talking, but the subject of the paragraph changes, you need to mark the new paragraph as a continuing conversation. As an example; ‘It defines our reality and binds our life together with more then what we see as crude matter. ”And those who wield the force are able to grasp the path of either oblivion or everything. Technical note: A safety on a firearm is almost always a switch, so the word is redundant. Unknown Knowledge AkumaSF The scene aboard Leviathan. Pretty much every nasty comment has already been made, kid. I agree that you could have been more adventurous instead of following the game almost rote, but there are some scenes in my work that are just as hidebound. Remember to edit before you post (I know, I know, I make the same mistake). Echo of the Republic The One The Wayne Ten years after ROTS: Imperial Clones fight against clones made for the Republic. First, the piece is too short to really judge. It read up until the last posting as more of an outline than an actual story. On a technical note, you can’t be a renegade unless you have sworn an allegiance yourself. It is like defining the Apache under Geronimo as renegades because they refused to accept the peace signed by Cochise. Like a lot of negative terms for people (Including War Criminal) people use it without considering what the word means. By definition Malak and Revan were renegades, but the exile, who had been punished for her crime, was not. Understand? Silence and Darkness Torthane No specific time given. I didn’t see anything that unorthodox about the work. It was enjoyable, and well worth the effort to read. Very well done. Technical note: How does something that projects a packet of energized plasma have a recoil? Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Crossroads of the Force Fish1941 Alternate Universe 17 years before the battle of Yavin: Follow-on to the Corellian Connection, Some improper word usage (malnutrition instead of malnourished) and double negatives (I cannot think of no finer companion.) But these are editing problems. The work on the whole looks good. kotorfanmedia A Gift for the Future Amber Penglass In the interim between KOTOR and TSL: Revan gives a gift to her husband, and sets in motion the events in the Phantom menace. The style is good, especially the gentle teasing of two lovers. This has received 12 thumbs up. Definitely worth reading. Execution Revangoddess At the end of KOTOR: What if you failed defeating Malak on the Star Forge? What happens next? The style is good the subject excellent. Most people don’t consider that there are more than one way to lose in reality. The subject matter alone makes this well worth the read. 13 people gave this a thumbs up, an even better way to judge it is that 22 commented. Storm Warnings CyberCat During TESB: Darth Vader resurrects his ancestor Revan. The style is good, the story interesting. Well worth the read. Technical note: Assuming the Republic had a dating system to our modern day one, Revan would have been alive in the 19990s until about 20050. Without a convenient central point (Such as not having a year one in the Christian calendar) every other dating system works by reigns of monarch, that kind of thing. For example you wouldn’t mark the battle of Thermoplae as 2592 before the present year rather than 485 BCE. Canonical note: Han Solo was made General until ROTJ. During this period he was still merely a smuggler named Captain Solo. Come What May DarthRevanRedeemed The battle of the Endar Spire with a slight comedic twist. There are times even in the most serious situations where humor strikes. The author hit me between the eyes with this line; (Liz walked over to the Sith with the sword protruding from his head. She stepped on his chest and pulled it out. Then she grimaced. “Look at that! I’m never going to be able to use it again! His armor BROKE IT!” She replaced the sword back in the Sith’s head,) I actually read past it, stopped, went back, and read it again. A literary double take. Not many people people have commented so far, but I have this to say; This is your first fan fic? Write More! Prologue: Into the Dusk tWiNkLeT After KOTOR: Revan leaves but not without regrets. The story is nicely done, and the way it ends is really good. It doesn’t follow canon, since Revan had both HK and T3 with her when she left, along with the ship itself, but I wouldn’t have noticed it if someone hadn’t gifted me with a copy of TSL back in July for my Birthday. Rise of the Fallen Grimrabbit In the period approximately 20 years after TSL: Revan face a new threat. The basis is good, the story well conceived though the style is a bit stilted, as if the author was having problems thinking of how to say it, a rare thing with GR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Thanks for the review mach, it's been a while. Not my best review, but not my worst. Thanks anyway and the Archives haven't had much going on has it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 I haven’t let Real life interfere with this duty except when my computer bit the big one. But today I must say I did. I finally felt my creative juices flowing fully for the first time in almost two months, and began a novelized take off of some Japanese Animation I found last month. Iwas working on a story and it was going really well (Try just under 120 pages in four days) and I suddenly realized I hadn’t even cracked the site to start. For those who might be interested, the manga is entitled Pretty Face. The main character is in a bus accident, was mutilated, and is believed to be dead. He wakes up a year later, and the off the wall doctor who fixed his face used the picture in his wallet. Unfortunately, the picture was of a girl he loved… How he ends up pretending to be her missing twin sister might interest some of you. Check it out here; http://www.mangaspot.com/prettyface.php Coruscant Entertainment Center The Chronicles of Crianna Oc're Bob Lion54 There is no review because this week I had totally zoned on getting the column done, and every extra click I had to do would have taken me minutes I cannot spare against my deadline. I’m asking the author to send me a copy via E-mail and I will review it next week or whenever I have it. Guys, as an author I know you mean well when you send me links (Hit this to go to the work) but when I’m working on something all you do is delay me. It’s like playing phone tag. I hate it, so I beyond the first call, I don’t play. Betrayal and Retribution: The Week of Shifting Sands stingerhs Set before the start of the clone wars: As a Jedi tries to get over recent events, a strike runs into strike breakers. The work drags a bit, but the plot is subtle. The explanation of why you have old fashioned hard-rock miners with such technology is lovingly detailed. The view from both management and labor at their problem is excellent. Passion of the Sith Quanon Set during the Jedi Civil War: Two adventurers explore one of the tombs on Korriban I like the scene where the reptilian character has a discussion with the Hssiss dragon. Most wouldn’t have considered it. Remember conversation breaks. Even the best writers forget to do it occasionally, but you have one entire massive paragraph at the start where it is at least five minutes of dialogue. You should check your punctuation, since you have space between words and punctuation marks. It might just be a personal affectation but from the reader’s standpoint, especially one who knows editing, it makes my hand itch to run a global and correct it. The Past Secrets Darth Saruman Sequel to The Battles in the Unknown Regions: The basics are good, and my only complaint is technical. The charge you are doing, while right out of the movies, is as the old saying goes ‘grand, but is it war?’ I think I’m going to have to post an infantry assault article… A "Thrilling" Duel (Badfic #6) Tysyacha The fight between the Twin Sun pai and Atton, sort of. I laughed all the way through it, especially the complaint about rushing the game into production. Very well done. Grunting Gamorrean Guards! (Badfic #5) Tysyacha The guards have their own say. Of course that doesn’t mean they really had anything to say… It was nice to worn me that spelling and grammar were an option. It made it even more funny. Lost and Found Rogue Nine A Jedi finds her strength as her master dies. First attempt? I’ve seen so many; But not many as good from the start. You tend to do fight scenes well, the emotional content for the character comes through well. Just one teeny little complaint: The term is cloven, not cleaved in two. The Jedi Archives Heroes of the Republic: The Post-event Interview Jae Onasi I just hate post game interviews. They’re almost as bad as the talking heads who have to explain what the president said. But the piece is funny, and the style typical TV commentator. New Rays of Life JediMaster12 Set After KOTOR: Carth comes home in an emergency to find something unexpected. What can I say, JM12’s work is always nice to see, and fun to read. Well done. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Shadows of the Jedi Swamprat Jedi Knight I had the same problem with this work that I enumerated in the first posting this week. When the author gets back to me, I promise to review it. Assault on Nicrix One with many names Set in the future beyond the present day series of books. Some problems with spelling, but I assume that was more the problem I have, of thinking faster than I can write, though the author did use ‘piece’ instead of peace. It’s not a good thing to know that the problems you have to day will be repeated ad nauseum somewhere. But it is fact, and a harsh reality. As a writer who learned story telling in the old Celtic style, I applaud it. SPOOF: The Sithlycrumb Younglings Darill Cyllem I had the same problem with this work that I enumerated in the first posting both of this week’s column and this site. When the author gets back to me, I promise to review it. The Tangible Crux (an alternate history) Kam Solusar Alternate Universe” When the Republic failed to get the plans for the Death Star, the Rebellion almost collapses. But three years later, Biggs Darklighter goes to ask a friend named Luke Skywalker if he can find Ben Kenobi. kotorfanmedia Coruscant Chemist Owns After KOTOR: Two people share their nightmares. The scenes were well done, the style crisp and clean. The problems Jedi have with close relationships is a constant foil to the romantic interest, and the author plays upon it well. The Widening Gyre, Prologue Greengrass 1914 Set between KOTOR and TSL: Revan dreams, but is it a dream or a meory long suppressed? The style is good, the dream clear and crisp. The idea at the end, that maybe it was a memory that now spells danger was surprising but a good surprise. The Gizka Problem Walruseater Set during the KOTOR mission to Korriban: The pied piper with a twist… The story only surprised me because the people who wrote the game hadn’t even considered the problem. Very well done. The Former Dark Lord Among Us Walruseater Set During KOTOR: As they leave Tatooine, Bastila learns to lighten up just a little and Carth makes a verbal faux pas. The scenes are just as good as the previous work I read today, and the interplay of the dialogue was very well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Thanks for the encouraging review, mach. I fixed the mistake and am working on a new chapter, so hopefully it'll be up soonish. And I've actually read Pretty Face as well, so it's a pleasant surprise to find out that you're working on a novelization of it. I'd really like to have a look at what you've, if you wouldn't mind. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tysyacha Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Dear mach, Thanks for the fantastic reviews! Even though those two were two of my (in)famous "badfics", I'm still glad that you took the time to analyze them. By the way, if you're interested in my two best finished fics that haven't been reviewed yet, here they are... "Vtoraya Smert'"--http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=173086 "Ya--Yevo'"--http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=167972 Again, "M", thank you "00-so-much" for reading and reviewing my fics! --Tysyacha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Master Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 The basic story is good, and you were willing to get in the mud with the grunts, so I don’t see a reason to complain. I just saw this, thanks mach for pointing this out, I'll try to make it better. I wanted to make a story about the underdogs in the Mando war, and how it affected everybody. And to anybody interested in beta reading my work, just pm me. Thanks again mach. Please see the Beta volunteer thread. You should PM them to ask for help, not the other way around. --Jae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Thanks for the review mach. I value your opinion highly and it has helped me in my quest to be a good writer. I actually have Jae to thank for some dialogue issues that I had in previous drafts. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 23 February Coruscant Entertainment Center For anyone who hasn’t read my newest work in the Outer Rim, You would not see the same thing if you read it now. When I posted it the first time, the work was complete and came in at 164 pages. Before Jae reluctantly agreed to let me post it (Afraid I’d get a negative reaction because at first sight it would look like Slash) it had grown thanks to editing and rewriting to over 184. I have finished my fourth full edit, and it is now almost 210. See, reread, rewrite, and edit. It works. Sometimes it gets smaller and tighter, sometimes it rips it’s way out of the cage and runs away. The Chronicles of Crianna Oc're Bob Lion54 As asked for, BL54 delivered. A young imaginative girl looks to the future on Dantooine. So far so good. The author has told me it is not complete, but I’d like to read the entire thing when it is. Some word usage problems (Relived, rather than relieved) and the usual editing problems. But nothing rereading and editing won’t cure. The style is simple, but since it is written primarily from a young girl’s view, I allowed for that. My star wars book. Darth Aida No time period set: New students dive into their curriculum, but other problems are on the horizon. I think every negative thing someone might say about this work has already been said before I got here. Every bit or constructive criticism has also been said. Kid, don’t worry about the people over here in CeC. I think I’m about the meanest of the lot and no one had told me to ease down yet... In His Service, or "Ya--Yevo'" Tysyacha As the Clone war rages, a young Padawan worries about the thought within her own mind... The work is well done, and the homey touch of the girl washing clothes on her own was interesting. We get a depth you usually don’t get in a Star Wars character, because most are already linked to a specific job or duty. You ‘assume’ a soldier is this way or commando, or even Jedi. Logs of a Commando Darth Velrogh The records kept by a Commando during the clone wars The style is stilted, but these are personal records kept where no one is supposed to see them. Oh, and it’s dwindling, not twiddling when numbers are falling. An interesting piece all around. The Jedi Archives What He Truly Was Mr BFA TSL: The fallen Exile plots his revenge on the galaxy The story flows well, a few editing and word usage problems (A problem is borne, not born) but all in all good work. Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater Last week I requested that Swamprat send me his docs to save me some time. Sithlycrumb younglings was not sent, but the author gave a reason I accepted as valid. Shadows of the Jedi Swamprat Jedi Knight No specific time given. Assumed during Young Jedi series: A Jedi collects students, and these are submitted for our approval. Some places where you are over- wordy the phrase ‘after they landed and acquired the new student, that they would not leave at least for a day, to secure provisions, cargo, and construction materials for the uncompleted Jedi temple.’ Would have been better edited to ‘Even if the student did not delay them their departure would wait on loading supplies for the still uncompleted temple. You see, we don’t need to know what supplies they are unless they are linked to what is occurring. Such as having the student help with unloading, or something has been hidden in it, that kind of thing. No biggie. You also tend to make run on paragraphs, but this is something easier spotted in editing. I know I do the same thing even having run on chapters that are twice as long as they need to be, so just take it from someone with the same problem. Most Impressive Darill Cyllem A meeting between smugglers with some amusing twists. The writing style is good, there is not as much characterization as I might like but it is sufficient unto the day, and the situation while stock is well portrayed. I enjoyed the view of crime, and dividing those who work within that system because the analogy is accurate. The thieves we love to read about are the dashing debonair cat burglars or master thieves and lovable rogues. Darill is the author of Sithlycrumb younglings as well, and this piece though it is short gives me an idea at least of what I am missing. kotorfanmedia Outside of the Mysterious Box Joysweeper Alternate Universe: One of the quest situations is the mysterious box, what if you lost? The style is good though the timing is a bit vague. The idea refreshing, the writing excellent. Seisouhen: After So Many Years Have Lapsed CyberCat Seven Years after KOTOR: Revan fallen into a deep depression, is found by friends from the Ebon Hawk. The style is a bit confusing at the start, but once the writer takes the bit it flows very well. The dissolution of Revan is done well enough that you know something is seriously wrong, but you are left with a nagging question of why. Thought provoking. Technical note: Since Mission was fourteen when she met Revan, you made a slight error by saying she had visited Manaan at 16 unless it was a later visit. Tika Dane: Cleanup, Chapter 1 MystDragon At the end of KOTOR: Revan would prefer you not call her that. She makes a break to become herself, but others seem to know her so well... The writing is excellent, the ‘running away’ feeling sublime. Well worth a read. The problem I have seen with any story actually, is that ‘and they lived happily ever after doesn’t really mean that. I learned to tell stories in the Celtic style. The Celtic style says this about Happily ever after. ‘That every week they spent two days loving each other. They spent three with one of the other not feeling well, but love brought them through. They spent one day upset for one reason or another, and one day when they had screaming arguments.’ I have to agree with the character. With the choice of either running away or being molded by others, which would you take? The Fury of the Sith Aelis Set before the Events of KOTOR: A Telosian girl faces the destruction of her world and kidnapping. The style is good, but there are some editing spelling and rewriting problems. For example scaring instead of scarring. You forgot a few words. ‘I had used a blaster for eight years, but I felt as if should use more’ makes no sense unless you add ‘it’. Since I have the same problem (Few of you will ever see my completely unedited work) I am only pointing it out. Excellent work. Freeze, Organic Meatbags! Walruseater KOTOR: the raid on the Sith Embassy on Manaan. What could go wrong? You had to ask... The work is well done, the story more farce than anything else, but I happen to like farce. The ‘getting in too deep, and being rescued scene reminded me of Tom Bombadil from The Hobbit meeting the dwarves and Frodo not as a cohesive group, but as parts of a story Gandalf was telling. Very funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tysyacha Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Again, mach...spasibo tysyachu raz! "Thank you 1,000 times!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 24, 2007 Author Share Posted February 24, 2007 Again, mach...spasibo tysyachu raz! "Thank you 1,000 times!" You're welcome. Interstingly enough, I cannot find an online Russian to English (In roman letters) except for one of slang. I will eventually be able to curse in that language, but not hold a polite conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Lion54 Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Thanks for the review! hehe, now I'm trying to find all my typos. Thanks again, machievelli! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Kid, don’t worry about the people over here in CeC. I think I’m about the meanest of the lot and no one had told me to ease down yet... I have trouble believing that mach. Your critiques while a little on the strict side are invaluable. I think that from the many comments of people thanking you for your comments and critique, it is apparent that you are not what you claim to be, the meanest one of the pack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
machievelli Posted February 24, 2007 Author Share Posted February 24, 2007 Thanks for the review! hehe, now I'm trying to find all my typos. Thanks again, machievelli! Kid, when I posted the first part of Mirror of My love, Jae commented that I used your'e in stead of your. Even knowing where it was it took me until today to find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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