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Funnyest Thing said in Kotor I&II [spoilers maybe] (56K Warning)


Fear_Again

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I decided to play the game differently then I typically do and came across something that I've never seen before. Typically my game play has been Telos > Dantooine > Dxun > Nar Shaddaa > Korriban > Onderon > Final parts of the game. This time I went Telos > Dxun > Nar Saddaa > Dantooine > Onderon > Korriban. In Dantooine I had Goto with me while in the sublevels of the academy and came across something completely hysterical.

 

Jorran: If you give me 1300 credits, you can have it all.... (continues his comments)

Goto: Amendment sixteen hundred ninety five dash three zero of the Khoonda civil code allows us to sell you into slavery.

Jorran: What? That is ridiculous!

Goto: Paragraph twelve: "salvageable items include organic matter incapable of leaving the boundries of the salvage area..."

Jorran: You wouldn't!

Exile: Of course we would.*

Goto: A male human such as you would fetch approximately 500 credits on the auction block in Nar Shaddaa.

Goto: Therefore, I suggest you offer your goods for 500 credits less than your initial figure.

Jorran: Hey, yeah. So, 800 credits for this valuable salvage?

... continues other dialogue.

 

*Other choice would result in a different response then what I posted.

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I decided to play the game differently then I typically do and came across something that I've never seen before. Typically my game play has been Telos > Dantooine > Dxun > Nar Shaddaa > Korriban > Onderon > Final parts of the game. This time I went Telos > Dxun > Nar Saddaa > Dantooine > Onderon > Korriban. In Dantooine I had Goto with me while in the sublevels of the academy and came across something completely hysterical.

 

Jorran: If you give me 1300 credits, you can have it all.... (continues his comments)

Goto: Amendment sixteen hundred ninety five dash three zero of the Khoonda civil code allows us to sell you into slavery.

Jorran: What? That is ridiculous!

Goto: Paragraph twelve: "salvageable items include organic matter incapable of leaving the boundries of the salvage area..."

Jorran: You wouldn't!

Exile: Of course we would.*

Goto: A male human such as you would fetch approximately 500 credits on the auction block in Nar Shaddaa.

Goto: Therefore, I suggest you offer your goods for 500 credits less than your initial figure.

Jorran: Hey, yeah. So, 800 credits for this valuable salvage?

... continues other dialogue.

 

*Other choice would result in a different response then what I posted.

 

Ah, that's classic. Go-to has so many hidden gems in that game that most people will miss out on (cos not enough people take him with their party).

 

Personally, the one scene that made me laugh the most is on the original KotOR when your talking to Bastila and she's lecturing you about the perils of the darkside again, and how she feels she has to guide you. One of the responses was like,

"Okay, blink once for good, twice for bad".

 

I found that hysterical at the time. I still do now with the context that it's coming from Revan - you can make him such a legend *again* through his wicked sense of humour.

Finding out that he made HK-47 permeanently refer to the "meatbag" term for humans (especially Malak) was awesome too. I love that he is so misanthropic - Kreia also mentions how he like(d/s) to surround himself with machines rather than humans, for example too.

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Revan's just more in tune with the machines. He probably has a knack for fixing things.

Oye, it's hard comming up with funny stuff because I think most of what makes me laugh has already been said. Oh well here is the turning point for me when I played it my first time around:

 

HK-47: Commentary: I say we blast the meatbag and save you the trouble master

Tanis:What's with all the droids lately? My wife get to you too?

HK-47:Negative. I just don't like organic meatbags, except for the master of course hehe

 

and the other:

 

HK-47: Commentary: Your former pupil is efficient and brutal even for an organic. I rather liked him when you first introduced me to him. Had I known what he would do to you I would have gladly ripped out his entrails right then.

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Revan's just more in tune with the machines. He probably has a knack for fixing things.

 

One of the reasons outlined is that he prefers machines to humans (around him) as he can manipulate them much easier, and are more reliable/predictable.

That's why he had HK-47 made, to carry out "behind-the-scenes" acts that greatly influenced the galaxy's future stability.

That's why he entrusts the safety of the Ebon Hawk (and the knowledge of his self-designated mission) to T3-M4. And this is even after the fact that he hasn't had a memory wipe for years.

 

He likes robots - and finds the referall to "organics" as "meatbags" incredibly amusing.

 

Call me weird, but I like that part of his personality - and more relevantly for this topic - his sense of humour, deriving from this kind of attitude/outlook.

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I couldn't agree more. I acutally liked the male response choices because you could tease Bastilla when you speak to her. She could get flustered because of it. I found it completely funny. I think the first time I played it through, I was busting a gut. Thanks for reminding me. It's in my head and I'm laughing.:lol::rofl:

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I couldn't agree more. I acutally liked the male response choices because you could tease Bastilla when you speak to her. She could get flustered because of it. I found it completely funny. I think the first time I played it through, I was busting a gut. Thanks for reminding me. It's in my head and I'm laughing.:lol::rofl:

 

Alright then, I've got another one for you (remember this):

 

"I hate you old man."

 

- Classic. Especially seeing as you can say it in like 4 different conversations. :lol:

 

edit: I've got another one for ya:

 

"I regret to inform you that I don't regret anything"

+ Canderous' response:

"Ha! Good one! Now that's the attitiude befitting of a warrior!"

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I hate you old man? Nah I would go with the response that is like "You're just an old coot that is not used to company" Something like that.

I regret to inform you that I don't regret anything- Where does that pop up? I have a specific gameplay ingrained in my bulbous brain that I have trouble recalling it because I probably didn't get it or see it. It's funny but not the heehaw variety.

 

I remember this one:

Expletive: Dammit master! I'm an assassination droid, not a dictionary!

Actually anything HK did was funny.

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Mission: Hey Bastila. You ever use the Force just for fun? You know, a little jolt of the Force to trip up some jerk who'se ticking you off?

Bastila: I would never use the Force for such petty and trivial revenge. The mere thought of it's preposterous.

Mission: Ah c'mon, there's gotta be times when you've thought about it. Don't be so stuck up, you can tell me.

Bastila: I am not stuck up. I merely have the years of training to give me the wisdom and understanding to see how childish such an act would be.

Mission: Childish? Is that a crack about my age? You ain't much older than me Miss High and Mighty. Just because you're a Jedi doesn't mean you can be a prissy little...

Bastila force trips Mission before she says something that you really cannot say in Star Wars.

Mission: What the? Hey, that wasn't funny!

Bastila: I have no idea what you're talking about Mission. Come now, we have to get going. Please, do try and be less clumsy in the future.

 

A shame it's never said in the game, but sometime when Bastila's talking about not going to the Dark Side, acting as though she is a paragon of the Order, she's talking out her ass. Her lectures are something she seems to forget when it suits her, such as saying to leave Tanis rather than help him.

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A shame it's never said in the game, but sometime when Bastila's talking about not going to the Dark Side, acting as though she is a paragon of the Order, she's talking out her ass. Her lectures are something she seems to forget when it suits her, such as saying to leave Tanis rather than help him.

 

True, though even the highest of Jedi Masters has the Dark Side within him. :)

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The Jedi are arrogant in their teachings lately. Maybe Bastilla thought she was trying to teach a lesson. the key word being lesson. That's part of a Jedi's vocabulary.

Other funny things I found were cut content from TSL that had been restored partially like HK interrogating the HK-50 model. It was funny.

 

Another funny moment:

HK: Translation:... Shall I blast him now master?

This was from the Sandpeople Enclave. I thought it funny.

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I think Juhani makes a better Jedi than Bastila. She is always advocating doing the right thing, and about the only time she does stray is when it's justified (such as Xor). Well more justified than leaving a cheating husband to die in the desert at any rate. On that...

 

"Now if you could...oh no. Not you. Just my luck. Look, I don't want any trouble, I just want some help." If Tanis remembers Revan putting him in his place.

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Commentary: Your pupil asked me once what I thought of him and I informed him of his meatbag status. He was unimpressed but you found the reference humorous. You changed my programming so I would continue to use the term. It drove your pupil to extreme lengths of frustration-HK

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In one of the earlier conversations she talks about her and Zaalbar, then mentions her brother. Ger her to talk about him and...not sure if she will then or later. When she does one of the dialogue options that comes up near the end is "Let's get back to the mission, Mission." Of course she acts like a kid about it.

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I like when HK says the sand people wouldn't bother to kill Griff(mission's brother), then suggests that you do it.

 

I aslo like this:

player: You're pretty bloodthirsty for a droid, aren't you?

HK: Even a droid has to have a little fun now and then, master.

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In K1 I liked the dialouge with Mission:

Revan;smacking akid,those vulkars have no class

Mission;Hey, i'm no kid, i'm 14 years old.

I laughed for hours

In K2

Exile;HK, do you know what love is

HK 47;I would define love as blowing a sentients leg off at half a kilometer

Exile;I doubt any sentient would agree with your definition.

Sorry if these aren't exact terms.

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I think the first time i really laughed (besides watching Carth blow his membrane in frustration with me) was when Mission says to Zalbaar she's going to get him a toothbrush and he replies something like, "what other indignities will you make me suffer, a comb?"

 

The wookie howl, and refusal to discuss anything with you was really annoying but that cracked me up.

 

Oh yeah also when she threatens to give him a bath and dress him up.

 

Also when Jolee and Bastilla are having their conversation about him re-joining the jedi order and basically he doesn't want to at the end he says something like

 

"Just think of me as any of the rest of the non-jedi in our group...with a uh lightsaber...and um force powers"

 

I wish he could make a sheepish grin

 

Oh yeah if you get to make that Mandalorian joke on korriban to Lashowe and her goons, that cracked me up especially if you have Canderous with you.

 

PazaakPrincess, please try not to Double Post, that is having multiple posts in a row, if you have the last post in a thread and wish to add new content please use the 'edit this' post feature. Thanks. -RH

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Exile: Actually, it was - the crystal was redder than a laigrek's eye.

Atton: Great. Maybe you and that Sith Lord can have a party after we're dead.

 

Lieutenant Grenn: Again, l'll clear any visitors. There wont't be another "incident."

Atton: But just to be on the safe side, why don't you leave us a blaster or two?

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