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Father Torque

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OK, since quite a few people seem to want my 200 credits, I will make it a bit harder to get them ;)

 

The person who makes me laugh the most, by whatever means, will receive the 200 points :p

 

Humour, it makes the world go round...

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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten

 

Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The

 

teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised

 

her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers

 

off the neighbor's wife."

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One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up"

 

during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to

 

maintain some sense of order in the pew, but, were losing the

 

battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and

 

walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching

 

the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the

 

congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

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Originally posted by The_One

OK, since quite a few people seem to want my 200 credits, I will make it a bit harder to get them ;)

 

The person who makes me laugh the most, by whatever means, will receive the 200 points :p

 

Humour, it makes the world go round...

hammers make good hats, but only if you put them on really, really fast!

 

/me shrugs

 

i laughed aloud the first time i heard that.

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Here's a funny joke. But it is a joke about dumb blonde girls...haha :D

 

There were three girls on an island. One that has black hair, the other had brown hair, and the last one had blonde hair. They found a lamp and started to rub it. A genie came out and said,

 

"I grant you each one wish for setting me free."

 

The black hair girl says, "I wish I was home with my family."

 

and poof..she was at home.

 

The brown hair girl says, "I wish I was home watching t.v."

 

and poof...she was at home watching TV.

 

The blonde girl says, "I wish my friends were here."

 

:D

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Heh, I have that one...

 

 

****

 

!Warning! these might be offensive to some of you, so don't say I didn't warn you.

 

 

 

> >Chinese Proverbs

> >

> > Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who run in front of car get tired.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who run behind car get exhausted.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright

organ.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to

Bangkok.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man with one chopstick go hungry.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on

earth.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

> > Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

> > *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

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Sam Fischer, all though some of those kokes were funny, this is a donation thread, not a joke thread. Please take your jokes to the joke thread, where I will look and laugh at them. And ThunderPeel, why donate to him, if he wont use them, its a waste of points that could go to someone who needs, them. And I didnt find that story funny, it was actually quite an inmature act to gain attention;) .

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Here's another it has some brief language in it, but that is what makes it funny:

 

****

 

 

 

A woman goes to her boyfriends'

parents' house for dinner. This is

to

> be

> > >>>her

> > >>>first time meeting the family and

she is very nervous. They all

sit

> > >>>down

> > >>>and begin eating a fine meal. The

woman is beginning to feel a

little

> > >>>discomfort, thanks to her

nervousness and the

> > >>>broccoli casserole. The gas pains

are almost making her eyes water.

> Left

> > >>>with no other choice, she decides to

relieve herself a bit and lets

out

> a

> > >>>dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but

everyone at the table heard the

poof.

> > >>>

> > >>>Before she even had a chance to be

embarrassed, her boyfriend's

father

> > >>>looked over at the dog that had been

snoozing at the woman's feet

and

> > >>>said

> > >>>in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".

> > >>>

> > >>>The woman thought, "This is great!"

and a big smile came across

her

> > >>>face.

> > >>>A couple of minutes later, she was

beginning to feel the pain again.

> This

> > >>>time, she didn't even hesitate. She

let a much louder and longer

fart

> > >>>rip.

> > >>>

> > >>>The father again looked and the dog

and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"

Once

> > >>>again

> > >>>the woman smiled and thought "Yes"

> > >>>

> > >>>A few minutes later the woman had to

let another one rip. This time

she

> > >>>didn't even think about it. She let

rip a fart that rivalled a train

> > >>>whistle

> > >>>blowing. Once again, the father

looked at the dog with disgust and

> > >>>yelled,

> > >>>"Dammit Skippy, get away from her

before she ****s on you!"

 

 

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Originally posted by The_One

OK, since quite a few people seem to want my 200 credits, I will make it a bit harder to get them ;)

 

The person who makes me laugh the most, by whatever means, will receive the 200 points :p

 

Humour, it makes the world go round...

 

WARNING THIS IS BLACK HUMOR, DON'T READ IF YOU ARE JEWISH

 

(The_One, you did say any means necessary)

 

This might be quite racist but I think it's funny anyway.

 

 

 

 

A barman at my Rugby Club (London Irish) told me this story about what he did He's over in the UK, because he doesn't know what to do with himself.

 

Any way two years ago he was in Ireland looking for a university to go to, and he went to an open day at Trinity College, and decided ok then better go into a lecture, and they choose Jewish studies, the listen to the lecture, and at the end the Proffessor asks if their are any questions.

 

My mate goes "yeah how do you fit 500 Jews in a car?"

 

"2 in the back, 2 in the front and the other 496 in the ashtray"

 

He was escorted off the premises.

 

 

 

 

That might offend some people (sorry about that) but I am aware of The_One's sadistic British humor

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Originally posted by Father Torque

Sam Fischer, all though some of those kokes were funny, this is a donation thread, not a joke thread. Please take your jokes to the joke thread, where I will look and laugh at them. And ThunderPeel, why donate to him, if he wont use them, its a waste of points that could go to someone who needs, them. And I didnt find that story funny, it was actually quite an inmature act to gain attention;) .

 

If this is for donating points, then they can do what they want with them, its not FTF for donating and spending is it?

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Originally posted by Darth Tyranus

If this is for donating points, then they can do what they want with them, its not FTF for donating and spending is it?

 

OK, DT. I dont want to get off on the wrong track like we did last time. I made this thread so people wouldnt make threads saying I need points. And also its a more organied way of donating. So dedicated users can donate to anybody, and they know who needs the points. And if you want to start another flaming debate PM me, and lets keep it away for the public, so we dont both get banned.

 

I almost got 50 who wants them?

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Originally posted by Father Torque

OK, DT. I dont want to get off on the wrong track like we did last time. I made this thread so people wouldnt make threads saying I need points. And also its a more organied way of donating. So dedicated users can donate to anybody, and they know who needs the points. And if you want to start another flaming debate PM me, and lets keep it away for the public, so we dont both get banned.

 

I almost got 50 who wants them?

 

 

Fair enough.

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