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Adults drive 14-year-old to suicide by harassing her on MySpace


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His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And he was hot.

 

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at him!" Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.

 

Josh had contacted Megan Meier through her MySpace page and wanted to be added as a friend.Yes, he's cute, Tina Meier told her daughter. "Do you know who he is?"

 

"No, but look at him! He's hot! Please, please, can I add him?"

 

Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh - under Tina's watchful eye - became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace.

 

Josh said he was born in Florida and recently had moved to O'Fallon. He was homeschooled. He played the guitar and drums.

 

He was from a broken home: "when i was 7 my dad left me and my mom and my older brother and my newborn brother 3 boys god i know poor mom yeah she had such a hard time when we were younger finding work to pay for us after he loeft."

 

As for 13-year-old Megan, of Dardenne Prairie, this is how she expressed who she was:

 

M is for Modern

 

E is for Enthusiastic

 

G is for Goofy

 

A is for Alluring

 

N is for Neglected.

 

She loved swimming, boating, fishing, dogs, rap music and boys. But her life had not always been easy, her mother says.

 

She was heavy and for years had tried to lose weight. She had attention deficit disorder and battled depression. Back in third grade she had talked about suicide, Tina says, and ever since had seen a therapist.

 

But things were going exceptionally well. She had shed 20 pounds, getting down to 175. She was 5 foot 5½ inches tall.

 

She had just started eighth grade at a new school, Immaculate Conception, in Dardenne Prairie, where she was on the volleyball team. She had attended Fort Zumwalt public schools before that.

 

Amid all these positives, Tina says, her daughter decided to end a friendship with a girlfriend who lived down the street from them. The girls had spent much of seventh grade alternating between being friends and, the next day, not being friends, Tina says.

 

Part of the reason for Megan's rosy outlook was Josh, Tina says. After school, Megan would rush to the computer.

 

"Megan had a lifelong struggle with weight and self-esteem," Tina says. "And now she finally had a boy who she thought really thought she was pretty."

 

It did seem odd, Tina says, that Josh never asked for Megan's phone number. And when Megan asked for his, she says, Josh said he didn't have a cell and his mother did not yet have a landline.

 

And then on Sunday, Oct. 15, 2006, Megan received a puzzling and disturbing message from Josh. Tina recalls that it said: "I don't know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I've heard that you are not very nice to your friends."

 

Frantic, Megan shot back: "What are you talking about?"

 

SHADOWY CYBERSPACE

 

Tina Meier was wary of the cyber-world of MySpace and its 70 million users. People are not always who they say they are.

 

Tina knew firsthand. Megan and the girl down the block, the former friend, once had created a fake MySpace account, using the photo of a good-looking girl as a way to talk to boys online, Tina says. When Tina found out, she ended Megan's access.

 

MySpace has rules. A lot of them. There are nine pages of terms and conditions. The long list of prohibited content includes sexual material. And users must be at least 14.

 

"Are you joking?" Tina asks. "There are fifth-grade girls who have MySpace accounts."

 

As for sexual content, Tina says, most parents have no clue how much there is. And Megan wasn't 14 when she opened her account. To join, you are asked your age but there is no check. The accounts are free.

 

As Megan's 14th birthday approached, she pleaded for her mom to give her another chance on MySpace, and Tina relented.

 

She told Megan she would be all over this account, monitoring it. Megan didn't always make good choices because of her ADD, Tina says. And this time, Megan's page would be set to private and only Mom and Dad would have the password.

 

'GOD-AWFUL FEELING'

 

Monday, Oct. 16, 2006, was a rainy, bleak day. At school, Megan had handed out invitations to her upcoming birthday party and when she got home she asked her mother to log on to MySpace to see if Josh had responded.

 

Why did he suddenly think she was mean? Who had he been talking to?

 

Tina signed on. But she was in a hurry. She had to take her younger daughter, Allison, to the orthodontist.

 

Before Tina could get out the door it was clear Megan was upset. Josh still was sending troubling messages. And he apparently had shared some of Megan's messages with others.

 

Tina recalled telling Megan to sign off.

 

"I will Mom," Megan said. "Let me finish up."

 

Tina was pressed for time. She had to go. But once at the orthodontist's office she called Megan: Did you sign off?

 

"No, Mom. They are all being so mean to me."

 

"You are not listening to me, Megan! Sign off, now!"

 

Fifteen minutes later, Megan called her mother. By now Megan was in tears.

 

"They are posting bulletins about me." A bulletin is like a survey. "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."

 

Megan was sobbing hysterically. Tina was furious that she had not signed off.

 

Once Tina returned home she rushed into the basement where the computer was. Tina was shocked at the vulgar language her daughter was firing back at people.

 

"I am so aggravated at you for doing this!" she told Megan.

 

Megan ran from the computer and left, but not without first telling Tina, "You're supposed to be my mom! You're supposed to be on my side!"

 

On the stairway leading to her second-story bedroom, Megan ran into her father, Ron.

 

"I grabbed her as she tried to go by," Ron says. "She told me that some kids were saying horrible stuff about her and she didn't understand why. I told her it's OK. I told her that they obviously don't know her. And that it would be fine."

 

Megan went to her room and Ron went downstairs to the kitchen, where he and Tina talked about what had happened, the MySpace account, and made dinner.

 

Twenty minutes later, Tina suddenly froze in mid-sentence.

 

"I had this God-awful feeling and I ran up into her room and she had hung herself in the closet."

 

Megan Taylor Meier died the next day, three weeks before her 14th birthday.

 

Later that day, Ron opened his daughter's MySpace account and viewed what he believes to be the final message Megan saw - one the FBI would be unable to retrieve from the hard drive.

 

It was from Josh and, according to Ron's best recollection, it said, "Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a ****ty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you."

 

BEYOND GRIEF INTO FURY

 

Tina and Ron saw a grief counselor. Tina went to a couple of Parents After Loss of Suicide meetings, as well.

 

They tried to message Josh Evans, to let him know the deadly power of mean words. But his MySpace account had been deleted.

 

The day after Megan's death, they went down the street to comfort the family of the girl who had once been Megan's friend. They let the girl and her family know that although she and Megan had their ups and down, Megan valued her friendship.

 

They also attended the girl's birthday party, although Ron had to leave when it came time to sing "Happy Birthday." The Meiers went to the father's 50th birthday celebration. In addition, the Meiers stored a foosball table, a Christmas gift, for that family.

 

Six weeks after Megan died, on a Saturday morning, a neighbor down the street, a different neighbor, one they didn't know well, called and insisted that they meet that morning at a counselor's office in northern O'Fallon.

 

The woman would not provide details. Ron and Tina went. Their grief counselor was there. As well as a counselor from Fort Zumwalt West Middle School.

 

The neighbor from down the street, a single mom with a daughter the same age as Megan, informed the Meiers that Josh Evans never existed.

 

She told the Meiers that Josh Evans was created by adults, a family on their block. These adults, she told the Meiers, were the parents of Megan's former girlfriend, the one with whom she had a falling out. These were the people who'd asked the Meiers to store their foosball table.

 

The single mother, for this story, requested that her name not be used. She said her daughter, who had carpooled with the family that was involved in creating the phony MySpace account, had the password to the Josh Evans account and had sent one message - the one Megan received (and later retrieved off the hard drive) the night before she took her life.

 

"She had been encouraged to join in the joke," the single mother said.

 

The single mother said her daughter feels the guilt of not saying something sooner and for writing that message. Her daughter didn't speak out sooner because she'd known the other family for years and thought that what they were doing must be OK because, after all, they were trusted adults.

 

On the night the ambulance came for Megan, the single mother said, before it left the Meiers' house her daughter received a call. It was the woman behind the creation of the Josh Evans account. She had called to tell the girl that something had happened to Megan and advised the girl not to mention the MySpace account.

 

AX AND SLEDGEHAMMER

 

The Meiers went home and tore into the foosball table.

 

Tina used an ax and Ron a sledgehammer. They put the pieces in Ron's pickup and dumped them in their neighbor's driveway. Tina spray painted "Merry Christmas" on the box.

 

According to Tina, Megan had gone on vacations with this family. They knew how she struggled with depression, that she took medication.

 

"I know that they did not physically come up to our house and tie a belt around her neck," Tina says. "But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old - with or without mental problems - it is absolutely vile.

 

"She wanted to get Megan to feel like she was liked by a boy and let everyone know this was a false MySpace and have everyone laugh at her.

 

"I don't feel their intentions were for her to kill herself. But that's how it ended."

 

'GAINING MEGAN'S CONFIDENCE'

 

That same day, the family down the street tried to talk to the Meiers. Ron asked friends to convince them to leave before he physically harmed them.

 

In a letter dated Nov. 30, 2006, the family tells Ron and Tina, "We are sorry for the extreme pain you are going through and can only imagine how difficult it must be. We have every compassion for you and your family."

 

The Suburban Journals have decided not to name the family out of consideration for their teenage daughter.

 

The mother declined comment.

 

"I have been advised not to give out any information and I apologize for that," she says. "I would love to sit here and talk to you about it but I can't."

 

She was informed that without her direct comment the newspaper would rely heavily on the police report she filed with the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department regarding the destroyed foosball table.

 

"I will tell you that the police report is totally wrong," the mother said. "We have worked on getting that changed. I would just be very careful about what you write."

 

Lt. Craig McGuire, spokesman for the sheriff's department, said he is unaware of anyone contacting the department to alter the report.

 

"We stand behind the report as written," McGuire says. "There was no supplement to it. What is in the report is what we believe she told us."

 

The police report - without using the mother's name - states:

 

"(She) stated in the months leading up Meier's daughter's suicide, she instigated and monitored a 'my space' account which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier's daughter.

 

"(She) said she, with the help of temporary employee named ------ constructed a profile of 'good looking' male on 'my space' in order to 'find out what Megan (Meier's daughter) was saying on-line' about her daughter. (She) explained the communication between the fake male profile and Megan was aimed at gaining Megan's confidence and finding out what Megan felt about her daughter and other people.

 

"(She) stated she, her daughter and (the temporary employee) all typed, read and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan …..

 

"According to (her) 'somehow' other 'my space' users were able to access the fake male profile and Megan found out she had been duped. (She) stated she knew 'arguments' had broken out between Megan and others on 'my space.' (She) felt this incident contributed to Megan's suicide, but she did not feel 'as guilty' because at the funeral she found out 'Megan had tried to commit suicide before.'"

 

Tina says her daughter died thinking Josh was real and that she never before attempted suicide.

 

"She was the happiest she had ever been in her life," Ron says.

 

After years of wearing braces, Megan was scheduled to have them removed the day she died. And she was looking forward to her birthday party.

 

"She and her mom went shopping and bought a new dress," Ron says. "She wanted to make this grand entrance with me carrying her down the stairs. I never got to see her in that dress until the funeral."

 

NO CRIMINAL CHARGES

 

It does not appear that there will be criminal charges filed in connection with Megan's death.

 

"We did not have a charge to fit it," McGuire says. "I don't know that anybody can sit down and say, 'This is why this young girl took her life.'"

 

The Meiers say the matter also was investigated by the FBI, which analyzed the family computer and conducted interviews. Ron said a stumbling block is that the FBI was unable to retrieve the electronic messages from Megan's final day, including that final message that only Ron saw.

 

The Meiers do not plan to file a civil lawsuit. Here's what they want: They want the law changed, state or federal, so that what happened to Megan - at the hands of an adult - is a crime.

 

THE AFTERMATH IS PAIN

 

The Meiers are divorcing. Ron says Tina was as vigilant as a parent could be in monitoring Megan on MySpace. Yet she blames herself.

 

"I have this awful, horrible guilt and this I can never change," she said. "Ever."

 

Ron struggles daily with the loss of a daughter who, no matter how low she felt, tried to make others laugh and feel a little bit better.

 

He has difficulty maintaining focus and has kept his job as a tool and die maker through the grace and understanding of his employer, he says. His emotions remain jagged, on edge.

 

Christine Buckles lives in the same Waterford Crossing subdivision. In her view, everyone in the subdivision knows of Megan's death, but few know of the other family's involvement.

 

Tina says she and Ron have dissuaded angry friends and family members from vandalizing the other home for one, and only one, reason.

 

"The police will think we did it," Tina says.

 

Ron faces a misdemeanor charge of property damage. He is accused of driving his truck across the lawn of the family down the street, doing $1,000 in damage, in March. A security camera the neighbors installed on their home allegedly caught him.

 

It was Tina, a real estate agent, who helped the other family purchase their home on the same block 2½ years ago.

 

"I just wish they would go away, move," Ron says.

 

Vicki Dunn, Tina's aunt, last month placed signs in and near the neighborhood on the anniversary of Megan's death.

 

They read: "Justice for Megan Meier," "Call the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney," and "MySpace Impersonator in Your Neighborhood."

 

On the window outside Megan's room is an ornamental angel that Ron turns on almost every night. Inside are pictures of boys, posters of Usher, Beyonce and on the dresser a tube of instant bronzer.

 

"She was all about getting a tan," Ron says.

 

He has placed the doors back on the closet. Megan had them off.

 

If only she had waited, talked to someone, or just made it to dinner, then through the evening, and then on to the beginning of a new day in what could have been a remarkable life.

 

If she had, he says, there is no doubt she would have chosen to live. Instead, there is so much pain.

 

"She never would have wanted to see her parents divorce," Ron says.

 

Ultimately, it was Megan's choice to do what she did, he says. "But it was like someone handed her a loaded gun."

http://www.informationliberation.com/index.php?id=24265

http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt

http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2007Nov16/0,4670,InternetSuicide,00.html

 

Thoughts?

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Megan’s parents are better people than I am, because I hate to think what I would do to these people.

 

I am at a loss to think why an adult and a parent no less would do something like this to a young teenager. I hope one day her defensive mechanism fails where she can longer deny what she has done and she can truly feel the guilt for her actions. I have always heard what goes around come around, how I hope that is true.

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How horrible and immature.

 

I don't know what I'd do if something like this happened to me, I know it would be terribly easy for me to take a knife to their vitals organs. Not the best choice, but one I know would be easy to make. I think there should be some form of punishment, but I'm a little puzzled as to what this could be put under, maybe harassment.

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Well now you see why they want over 14... It truly is exceptionally sinister what the adults did. But technically no crime was comitted. I guarantee though, that if it were my child that got pushed to suicide, it wouldn't have been the foosball table....

 

It is a sad thing though. There were so many ways this could have been avoided. Adults acting like adults would have been a good start. The parents not leaving the house with Myspace left running... The father giving his hurt little girl a long talk instead of an "it'll be alright" pep talk. The girl herself not letting herself get swept up in the BS that is Myspace...

 

There really should be something done. While they did not kill the girl, they were complicit in a plot to hurt her. but if there was a law against talking crap on myspace, 90% of myspace would be shut down.

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It astounds me that this kind of thing goes on, and yet still people act as though they're something that only a small minority of other people can do....

 

It's terrible, and how any person could do that to another, knowing full well what they were doing, is beyond comprehension. Such cold-blooded nastiness can only, I think, be put down to mental imbalance.

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Just because there are a ton of "news sites" basically just parroting what St. Charles Journal Dot Com said a couple of days earlier doesn't make it more real or fact. :dozey:

 

I'm not saying the girl didn't kill herself, but alone the quote in #1 sounds like a story you would find in any penny press media rather than in any 'credible' channels. To me it sounds like a poor attempt to use that girl's suicide to discredit pages like MySpace and derivates.

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I see children of this age all the time because of my work (in a bar) and school (learing to be a teacher). I can tell this particular group of early-teen ager is (to) easily manipulated. They feel they aren't children anymore, but are resisting adulthood as well.

So...what do most do? Hang out with the people who do the exact thing.

 

I've seen 14-15 year olds...get their life destroyed by drugs, alcohol, or adults manipulating them. Here in Holland, there's even a group called 'Breezers' (after the drink) who...give 'services' to older guys/girls for the aformentioned drink. Why? They aren't old enough to get them theirself. Talking about 14-15 year olds here.

 

Sorry to put it blunty, but this is just a prime example of how sick the world is. people taking advantage of younger people is just...sick and twisted....and happend for too much. :(

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Just because there are a ton of "news sites" basically just parroting what St. Charles Journal Dot Com said a couple of days earlier doesn't make it more real or fact. :dozey:

 

I'm not saying the girl didn't kill herself, but alone the quote in #1 sounds like a story you would find in any penny press media rather than in any 'credible' channels. To me it sounds like a poor attempt to use that girl's suicide to discredit pages like MySpace and derivates.

Well if any one of the chanels would have searched for the truth behind it, it would have been Fox News. Not because they are "Fair and Balanced" or the pinnacle of reporting, but because NewsCorp(Fox parent company) owns Myspace.

 

Of course it might be an excuse to require a credit card number....

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Well, I really doubt MySpace does care about that story. And I doubt these "parents" have any solid proof for their accusations.

 

All we have is how they say MySpace and some fake internet person is to blame, who accidentally happen to be their neighbours whose kid their kid was having trouble with. We don't have any logs, screen shots, emails. All we have is some unimportant gibberish about 'foosball tables' and :spinnaz:.

 

Along with the common "it's not the weapon's fault, it's the person's fault" attitude in the US, I also doubt MySpace could/would be hold responsible for such kind of action.

 

Oh, and before we forget,

Later that day, Ron opened his daughter's MySpace account and viewed what he believes to be the final message Megan saw - one the FBI would be unable to retrieve from the hard drive.

 

:dozey:

 

Uh-huh.

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Modern Day Natural Selection? Granted, at least she did not become an hero cause of a lost ipod or something.

I'd have to agree with Corinthian. That was taking it too far.

 

You have a point Ray, but saying that the entire thing is an outright fabrication and/or a setup for somebody else seems a little far, even though it is possible that this could be the case. There have been numerous reports revolving around Myspace, and really most of the internet about things like this. And it isn't Myspaces fault, it is the moms fault for being a witch if this story is indeed true.

 

I can see how this could be a fabrication, but that logic could be used for any story that hits the internet or even the news, an I'd like to believe that at least some of what I see is true. Regardless of it being an attempt to destroy Myspace, this is not the first and will not be the last case of harassment on Myspace. Not accusing Myspace, but I think I've seen enough reports of child abuse via the internet to make a story like this viable.

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You have a point Ray, but saying that the entire thing is an outright fabrication and/or a setup for somebody else seems a little far, even though it is possible that this could be the case.
I didn't say the entire thing is outright fabrication. Actually, I'd be surprised if the girl wasn't a user of MySpace, and I cannot deny the possibility that she, in fact, might have been tricked with some fake MySpace account. I mean, there must be like tons of fake MySpace persons out there, so that wouldn't be something surprisingly new, either. However, the whole story they put around it, with all those unnecessary details aiming for nothing but pulling the emotional trigger, sounds and feels pretty made up, whether by the press or her parents or both is hard to say.

 

I can see how this could be a fabrication, but that logic could be used for any story that hits the internet or even the news
News, which are presented in some form of a short story, are most likely made of some small truth (like a girl who killed herself) + truckloads of bull****.

 

I'd like to believe that at least some of what I see is true.
The point is, even news have to follow some form of logic and should make sense. "News" that tell me that a young girl killed herself, and how she was depressive but started to feel beautiful, but then some internet guy make her feel bad again, but the it turns out that it was just the mother of her ex-friend playing games with her, who once gave their family foosball table (which has to be football, soccer, or *Fußball*, btw) to them, and now they destroyed it using a sledgehammer and a fire ax tell me there must be something wrong with it because there's too much colourful detail presented with it (at least for some suicide story).

 

Regardless of it being an attempt to destroy Myspace, this is not the first and will not be the last case of harassment on Myspace. Not accusing Myspace, but I think I've seen enough reports of child abuse via the internet to make a story like this viable.
I don't think "internet harassment" can be compared to "internet child abuse". There's a big difference. And I'd say we're far from "child abuse" in this case.

 

And basically, I think it's not too hard to raise your child in a way that it would at least not go crazy about some internet bully, and that what you hear and see in the internet is not necessarily the truth, reality, and a grain of caution cannot be wrong no matter what you do.

 

 

 

I was sad to read that the girl's parents are getting a divorce. I mean, shouldn't they be helping each other through this difficult time? Seems to me that divorcing now would only make it harder for both of them.
My guess is, that's the real reason why the girl got all upset, and why she did what she did.
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My sympathies to the poor girl and her parents, God knows the grief that lies on them.

 

Quite honestly, I do not believe in breaking anonymity on the internet, and hence do not participate in "social networking" sites (although everyone pokes me to). The Internet is not to be taken seriously, and it is not the best place to socialize. One of the best things Dad drilled into my head since I was a kid is, never display your identity on the net. Sure, I post a couple of photos or my name now and then, but I sure as hell prefer anonymity whenever possible.

 

I do not support MySpace, Orkut, Facebook etc. because they are a waste of time, and the majority of users are insignificant arses who think adding their friends online is really cool and that people actually care about their (yet not determined) opinions about an obscure anime.

 

I'm fairly neutral to the topic. I support Tina monitoring Megan's MySpace access, frankly because MySpace sucks and 13 year olds, especially ones without socio-internet skills (yeah, I made that up) like Megan. I can't say Megan was wrong in the situation, other than displaying her identity, she didn't do anything wrong herself.

 

The adults fall into the same category, more or less. Harassing Megan with sexual slang was cruel, no doubt, especially when Megan was using her own name. Apart from that, I don't believe that anyone was particularly at fault. It is just an unfortunate event.

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This is a terrible and tragic event.

 

Here's a couple things I gleaned from it.

1. The girl who committed suicide had depression and that contributed to the problem, but by no means mitigates in any way the problem created by the other parents.

2. The parents of the ex-friend were incredibly immature and cruel, and should be prosecuted for harassment.

3. The DA in that area is being lazy. They could find some way to charge the parents for their involvement--fraud, harassment, and assorted other things come to mind. If I were the parent of the girl who died, I'd be making a huge stink about the whole thing, if I somehow managed to control myself enough not to exact some vigilante justice of my own.

4. I can't believe that the messages are irrevocably deleted--I think Myspace could pull those up somewhere. Things on a computer/website are rarely ever permanently gone.

5. Freedom of speech does not extend to committing crimes, and messages can be subpoenad if necessary as proof of criminal activity.

6. The parents of the girl who committed suicide failed to teach one very important thing to her: You don't have to read what people write on the internet. You can delete the messages, remove the friends from the friend list, even delete the account. Just because someone says something stupid about you on the net doesn't mean you have to actually believe it. All it means is they were being stupid.

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My sympathies to the poor girl and her parents, God knows the grief that lies on them.

 

Quite honestly, I do not believe in breaking anonymity on the internet, and hence do not participate in "social networking" sites (although everyone pokes me to). The Internet is not to be taken seriously, and it is not the best place to socialize. One of the best things Dad drilled into my head since I was a kid is, never display your identity on the net. Sure, I post a couple of photos or my name now and then, but I sure as hell prefer anonymity whenever possible.

I'm not your dad but my kid(s) [<- see, won't say how many] were taught the same and some extra. :)

I do most of my work at home to be there for Mira* and the kid(s) but in order to do that I had to give up my former career and start over. Know what? I don't regret it.

* = insert name of preferred companion

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