Bullying in Schools

[Inyri]

Paddles are a wonderful thing. You paddle the kid once, then the future threat of the paddle is typically enough to make the child behave. No one likes having a sensitive area beaten with a piece of wood. We had a paddle, but oddly I can't remember it ever being used (we were just threatened with it a lot). I imagine it must've been at least once to instill terror, but...

 

And surprise surprise, me and my brother and sister were all very well behaved in public, as opposed to kids nowadays. -_-

[mimartin]

And surprise surprise, me and my brother and sister were all very well behaved in public, as opposed to kids nowadays. -_-

I have four young cousins that are very well behaved in public, at least when they are with me. The middle boy acted up one day at Target when he was about four years old. Without saying another word I picked him up and carried him and his little brother out of Target to the car and drove them back to their home. Once there I dropped him off with his mother and returned to Target and then to the movies with his brother and sister. He is now twelve years old and I have never had a problem with him or his brother or sisters in public. If they even start to act up one of them will make a comment “do you want mimartin to take you home.” My mother did me the same way and that was more of a deterrent than anything else. I also lived in a small town so if I acted up when my mother was not around she would soon learn about my misbehavior. I’ve never laid a hand on any of my cousins, yet they are all better behaved around me than their parents, yet they still always want to go places with me. I keep my promises to them all, even when that promise is a threat.

[adamqd]

I was kept in line with a belt, ouch.

 

I was bullied for a while, because I was 6'0 at 13 and very skinny and ill lookin I was a target for the less "Awkward" kids, but by 15 I was 3 inchs taller and had filled out my frame... Lets just say there were some flying bullies on my playground lol

[PoiuyWired]

I think the real problem is - why are bullies bullies?

 

Well, fact being, people, even adults, do it all the time. But as long as you stay within the allowance of the functional law, all is fine.

 

Granted, there is the difference between annoyance and rejection to breaking people's bones.

 

Well, I don't actually belone to the popular group either way back at school, but then again I took the "other path" Basically I belong to the kind who would be a frequent traveller to the principal's office, since my reaction to any pullying actions would be by extreme measures. Its like, send a bully to the hospital once (or twice in a case) and he won't *** with you no more. And, just like rl, you tend to get it off easy if you are beating up a known bully than a, say, teacher's lapdog.

 

Not that I would suggest people following my footsteps, since its school != sparta (though I was a big war history nut, esp interested in melee combat, and still is). Plus, I am actually just as bad as the bullys in a way, under the facade/excuse of confronting bullys in the name of justice. Plus, at least I know that an improvised spear thrower device actually did increase the range and penetration power of thrown bamboo sticks.

 

As for "legality of weaponary" Yes, there are 6329847238942 ways to have something damaging on you yet perfectly legal. Its perfectly legal to carry around 2 cans of soda in a double plastic bag, or a ring of multiple keys, or a long umbrella, or a big metal thermos with hot soup/oatmeal, backbone of a hardbound diary. Plus, some basic biology study (and nowadays combat internet research) would teach you some quick and dirty tricks that would provide you with fun and wonderful self defence, where you can easily got away with "I block and push him away and accidently hit him".

 

 

Don't intentionally misspell to evade the language filter. --Jae

[Corinthian]

Forget that, Poiuy! The real man's weapon is a sock, stuffed with lead weights or quarters. That thing can split skulls, properly used.

[Jae Onasi]

Discussion of the best techniques to beat the crap out of someone is off-topic.

[Q]

^^^

As well as counter-productive. The object should be how to best them without becoming like them in the process.

[Corinthian]

Bah. He who fights monsters doesn't need to worry about becoming a monster himself. And for that matter, when you stare long into an abyss, the Abyss, in fact, doesn't look back at you because it has no eyes.

[Jae Onasi]

Yes, staring hell in the face is going to be oh-so-productive in dealing with the bullying problem. It's obvious you don't feel like taking this subject seriously, but some of the rest of us would like to deal with this productively.

[Darth InSidious]

Bullying is a complex problem that reflects larger societal shifts. I do not believe it can ever be truly eradicated- but its reduction will take years. Further, physical threats will not solve this - the best kind of prison is one of the mind.

[Q]

Jae, he is being serious, and at one time I would have agreed with him.

 

Part of me still does. Bullying should be dealt with harshly, but violence should be the very last resort after all other options have been exhausted.

[Corinthian]

On the contrary. Violence is fleeting - physical wounds will heal in time, unless you kill the poor bugger. But if you let the behavioral patterns of bullying to set in, you've got a kid on his way towards becoming the stereotypical frat boy, drunk, and general waste of oxygen and perfectly good carbon.

[Darth333]

Why, just last week my cousin was watching Barney on TV and he started explaining to the kids how one should stand up to bullies and ask them politely to back off instead of running to the teacher which, apparently, would hurt the bully's "feelings".

Some education can't hurt...and at the same time they learn to accept some criticism.

 

Victims of bullying can suffer of depression and it can lead to suicide too. Not everyone is strong enough (physically or psychologically) to overcome it or to stand up to bullies (edit: and that doesn't always lead to good "results" either). I have worked with many grown up adults who have suffered bullying in their childhood and others who have suffered serious physical and sexual abuses and in several cases I and the other people on my team found that those who had suffered "only" bullying were in "worst shape" than many others who had suffered what we would normally consider more serious forms of abuses.

[Q]

Well, it is psychological abuse, after all.

 

And in a civilized society any abuse should be unacceptable.

[mur'phon]

It seems that a lot of people think that if you only inflict enough pain on the bully, he/she'll stop. From what I have seen, this is rarely the case, the bully simply brings some friends/weapons later and beat the snot out of the poor kid, and or taking some other form of revenge.

 

Take me for instance, one day the "bully in chief" went after me without his friends. I rammed my knee into his groin, gut and chest repeatedly before using him as a trampoline until he was barley consious. The next day I get beaten by 15 kids before being subject to some nasty humiliations. Two days later, rumors about my voilent deeds and how I became a psycopath. In adition the teachers punish me harder than before, not only have the bullies backing from an entire class, but I'm clearly a "killer kid".

 

 

but is it really fair going as far as to expell a 7 year old for bullying?

 

I'm not familiar with the U.S schoolsystem, but in norway 99% go to public elementary school, and some schools have moved bullies to other schools. It apears to work fairly well, the bully becomes the "strange kid with no friends", making them feel a bit like their victims without hurting their education. Not sure if it would work in the U.S though.

 

I believe children should handle it by themselves (which they normally do) if it doesn't involve physical bullying. I believe bullying to a certain extent does improve strength of character and self-esteem.

 

I disagre, to me the non-physical part of bullying where far worse. Imagine if "everyone" believes that you are a (everything except hetero) phile, they talk about your alleged sexual exploits, and how their fathers enjoyed your prostitute mother. This happen wherever you go, and people always talking "around" you, but not to you. When you protest, the either ignore you or simply laugh. As this happens your friends are trying as hard as they can to apear to not know you, while at the same time trying to not offend you.

You might think you could easily stand up to that, but I won't believe you unless/until you have experienced it.

While in the end it gave me guts, willpower and freedom from the "peer police", it isn't all positive as it has become incredibly har for me to "fit in" and acept social norms I disagree with.

 

@True_Avery: Nice to see someone else who got out of the pit in one piece

[Rev7]

He went to the school, but the school said that since it was after school it was out of their hands.

What state was this in?

I know that when I was still in the schooling system in California, everybody was told on the first day of school, that the school was still responsible for you from the time that school starts, until your feet touch the inside of your house at the end of the day. Or, at least that is what I have been told.

 

I think that there should be more guidelines set up. I know that I hated being bullied on when I was in elementary school. I hated it. I can into school puttinga false smile on my face. I know that I kept it "bottled up" for a little while. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore, so I went to the principal of the school, and it was immediately taken care of.

 

I was always the fat guy around at school. And the "smart" guy in class. Odd mixture? I still do weight the most in the whole school, but I think that sports have really been a faucet for me. I have found out that I am a strong, big athletic guys, not just fat. Through sports, I guess that I have proven myself, physically, mentally, and socially. The down side to that is that when I go to pat someone on the back or something, they always cringe and, I guess curl up a little bit. I always have to tell them that I'm not gonna hurt them.

 

To sum it all up, I think that there SHOULD be more rules and regulations that stop bullying, or harster punishments. No issuing of weapons, or anything like that. I think that that is nearly the same as issuing a gun. Think about it. If someone is issued weapons such as "brass-knuckles" or mace, ect. someone will eventually bring a gun to take care of there problems. Use words to try to resolve the problem, rather than violence.

[Bee Hoon]

Being in American schools sounds unpleasant:/

 

My secondary school had the both the cream of the middle class population and the slum kids that were pretty much just killing time until they could leave school legally (it's compulsory to school your child until age of 17). As a prefect, I had to deal with them as well, and it's pretty intimidating to tell a known gangster to tuck in his shirt and put on his tie:/

 

There were mitigating factors though, such as the discipline teacher who lurvesssss caning male students. Nevertheless, I think that one of the reason why I received some grudging respect from them (a pathetically small amount ) was that I didn't act afraid, and I asked them nicely:/ Either that or they just were being nice 'cuz I'm a girl

 

As numerous people have pointed out, self-esteem goes a long way towards preventing bullying. Even if you don't have it, fake it!

[JoeDoe 2.0]

I found something interesting: The effects of bullying can be serious and even fatal. Mona O’Moore Ph. D of the Anti-Bullying Center, Trinity College Dublin, said, "There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide"

 

Bullying is a disease that can't be eradicated, but it can be alleviated by teaching our children to treat others with respect

[Ghost Down]

One of them, whom I observed over the course of 10 years was wimp, until his father put him in for gym, some martial arts and that sort of stuff. And within a year he was bashing skulls.

 

Was his name.. *DUN DUN DUN* SABRETOOTH?!

[JediRevan]

I have an eighteen year old son who was bullied in middle school. He took the bullying until he was slapped across the face three times by one of them in the cafeteria. He stood up, followed the bully onto the stage, and threw him off it. He immediately started pounding on the bully. A teacher stepped in and separated them but my son almost swung on him. The school started to suspend him until they found out the bully had started it. The bully was suspended and my son received lunch room duty for three days. My son hasn't been bothered by those bullies and he still goes to school with them.

[PoiuyWired]

I have an eighteen year old son who was bullied in middle school. He took the bullying until he was slapped across the face three times by one of them in the cafeteria. He stood up, followed the bully onto the stage, and threw him off it. He immediately started pounding on the bully. A teacher stepped in and separated them but my son almost swung on him. The school started to suspend him until they found out the bully had started it. The bully was suspended and my son received lunch room duty for three days. My son hasn't been bothered by those bullies and he still goes to school with them.

 

QFE. Its not the suspension that stops the bully, but the physical negotiation taken on stage. Welcome to the real world. And I am glad it works out well in the end.

[*Don*]

^^^^

Agreed.

 

P.S.

Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever bullied someone else when they were in school?

[Rev7]

^

Well, I cerainly know that I try not to. I mean, everybody, yes I think EVERYBODY, at one point in there educational life, has made fun of, or laughed at someone because of a mistake. Everybody has done it before, IMO. It is human nature. I don't try to intentionally bully. I generally try to stop others from bullying people mainly because I HAVE been on the other side and I know what it feels like. Not good.

[Q]

What really honks me off is that all the while I was being bullied I was being told by my parents and other adults in authority positions that fighing back was wrong.

 

I didn't believe it then, and I still don't believe it now.

[Rev7]

^

I think that it is wrong. But that is just the way that I have been raised. I do honestly believe that it is wrong because the people in authority are put in authority for a reason. But, I also don't think that bullys are in authority positions. Sometimes the best thing to do is fight back but there are consequences to fighting back. You win some you lose some...

 

I have been told at the school that I am currently going to that if you do get in a fight, whether or not you started it, you still get in (equal?) trouble. If you try to stop the fight and you get hit, and you hit back in self-defence, I believe that you still get in 'trouble'.