Parents, the good and the bad

[Arcesious]

This is a thread for light debate and discussion over parents. What's good, and bad, IE, how you feel about them. What you like about them, and what you don't like about them.

This is not intended as another thread were I ask advice about my 'issues' with my parents. I put this in the ASC because I'm expecting that this won't be a very serious debate/discussion.

 

So i'll start with mine:

 

The good:

They're very supportive and encourage me a lot. My dad is alot of fun to beat in videogames, and my mom is able to give pretty good advice on various things. They have good intentions in everything, and always stay positive about things. Not to mention that they provide for all my needs, as I don't pay for any of the luxuries I have right now...

 

The bad:

They tend to be very strict, biased on a few issues, and way too overprotective, heavily restricting my freedoms on the internet, what games I can have, and what movies I can watch. I won't go into the other things I've mentioned before in those threads I asked for advice in, as I don't intend to talk about those things in this thread. But, this is not a bad thing- they are, overall, good parents.

 

So, how about you?

[jawathehutt]

The good:

My dad also plays games, and just bought a wii today which makes me happy. He gives pretty good advice. My mom is really good at math, patient and nice. If it weren't for this I would have failed math and chem ages ago.

The bad:

My dad is incredibly untrusting of me 100% because of my sister(She was caught multiple times with alcohol by police and drugs by my dad) so now he assumes I'm just going to do everything she did. Since hes a detective he thinks he can tell when I'm lieing, even if I'm telling the truth. He gets angry over pretty much anything, and is quite good at diverting blame to others and over reacting over minor problems like loosing a glove. My mom can be a bit spacey at times, but thats pretty much it.

[Rabish Bini]

The Good:

They buy me alot of stuff, let me play soccer for whoever I want, will drive me to soccer no matter how far away it is. They are supportive, give me good advice and other stuff like that.

The Bad:

Overprotective, and don't trust me on some matters, especially school, and my dad always seems to blame other people for his mistakes and can't accept being wrong in an argument.

[Litofsky]

The Good:

They are extremely supportive of almost everything that I choose. They value education an incredible amount, and have instilled a sense of urgency in me about education (Education, to me, seems to be the stepping stool to all else in this world), they are very kind, as well.

 

The Not-so-Good:

My Dad used to get mad about the small things (but not any more, so that's been a plus), to them, my grades are a direct representation of my intelligence (i.e., if I get an 89% in Math, I must not be learned in that subject, and my privileges are limited. Severely. When the conversation comes to religion, I have to adhere to their rules, lest I risk... chastisement (at the very least).

 

That's all I remember right now. However, in my opinion, the Good far outweighs the Bad.

[Master Shake]

The Good:

Always provide for me, loving, given me a lot of liberties for my age.

 

The Bad:

The main problem I've always had was they expected too much of me. Sometimes it feels like no mater what I do ill never be able to please them. My dad expects me to make the same mistakes my mom has and be the perfect romodel for my little brother. Always expected to go above and beyond in sports, academics, and pretty much everything else. Being understanding is definately not their strong point.

 

But ya besides that their very good parents

[mimartin]

The Good: My dad was a drunken deadbeat that left before I was even a year old. I never meet my father until I was 13 years old. Moved in with him January of my senior year of high school, after he had a heart attack, but left as soon as the semester was over and never went back until he was first diagnosed with cancer. Over the next ten years, we became friends and he did become a father figure to me. The last two years of his life, I drove the 8 hours between his home in Mississippi and mine in Texas at least every other weekend. Christmas night 1996, he made me promises that I would return to school and finish my degree, those were the last words we ever exchanged and he was dead by the following night. Once they are gone, all the moments are good and cherished memories.

 

The Bad: They don’t live forever.

[Gurges-Ahter]

The Good: I am one (and a very blessed one, for that matter).

 

The Bad: I'm old.

[Rev7]

The Good: My dad was a drunken deadbeat that left before I was even a year old. I never meet my father until I was 13 years old. Moved in with him January of my senior year of high school, after he had a heart attack, but left as soon as the semester was over and never went back until he was first diagnosed with cancer. Over the next ten years, we became friends and he did become a father figure to me. The last two years of his life, I drove the 8 hours between his home in Mississippi and mine in Texas at least every other weekend. Christmas night 1996, he made me promises that I would return to school and finish my degree, those were the last words we ever exchanged and he was dead by the following night. Once they are gone, all the moments are good and cherished memories.

 

The Bad: They don’t live forever.

Wow. That is one moving story....

 

________

 

Good:

 

My parents love me for who I am, and are very supportive. They trust me a lot, and value my opinions on things. They provide food, bed, a roof over my head, a loving environment, toothbrush, clothing, my own room, ect. My parents have been togather for over 25 years. I think about 28 coming on 29...but I am not sure. My Dad works very hard for his family, and is a funny guy. He loves his family with all of his heart. My Mom is a great cook, very supportive, loving, and is my best friend. She is very opened and I enjoy having conversations with her.

 

Bad:

 

There really isn't any bad things about them. We are all human, and we all make mistakes, and we are all not perfect. I guess one thing that can, at times be hard to deal with is, I guess that you could say that we are pretty boring people. We stay at home most of the time, and basically stay to ourselves. I like to be active and do things, so at times, it is a little bit hard to deal with. I get over it though.

 

I have great parents. I am very thankful that I have great parents because I know that a lot of people in this world don't have parents like mine. There are a lot of divorces, and it feels a little bit odd just because my parents haven't been divorced. My parents are my friends...

[EnderWiggin]

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -M. Twain

 

_EW_

[Samuel Dravis]

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -M. Twain

 

_EW_

It is interesting how true that is. While there are still some things that irritate me about my parents, all of those seem very minor now and are easily overlooked in the face of both who they try to be and the very good people they in fact are.

[Bee Hoon]

The good: My parents have the best relationship ever:) I just hope that I'll have a marriage as happy as theirs! Both of them were very frugal for the sake of saving up for our educations, and they're very loving. I have a lot of great memories, and I'm still very comfortable with them, which is more than many people can say bout their parents:P Dad also loves pampering us, hehe:P

 

The bad: Dad's a bit of a workaholic, and mum has worrier tendencies, but both of those have reduced nowdays ^.^

 

<3 my parents!

[Astrotoy7]

Unless you have the misfortune of having a dad like mimartin, most parents "try their best".

 

I'm a step parent of 3 and its put me off having kids of my own forever I want to travel and enjoy myself damnit! Its not like the world has a population problem, so who cares if I dont have kids... I dont!

 

Im glad this thread hasnt taken an excessively emo route, otherwise, Im gonna serve this on you:

 

mtfbwya

[Arcesious]

It seems tha,t on this forum, many people have great families, which is a very good thing, considering the 75% divorce rate in the USA.

 

Im glad this thread hasnt taken an excessively emo route

indeed, if it had, I would hope that soemone comedic would coem along and cheer people up; but luckily, it's stayed positive.

 

The worst family I've ever seen was in the show 'Malcolm in the Middle'...

[jonathan7]

The Good; Liberal, especially my dad, while they are both Christians, I was always allowed complete freedom, when I was 16, I had on;y 2 rules... 1. Don't get a girl pregnant. 2. Don't wake them up when I come back in late at night. Freedom and responsibility is the environment in which I thrive in, and that was what I was always provided.

 

The Bad: Mum has a few issues, bless her, but nothing that bothers you once your an adult

[adamqd]

The Bad: My mum was 18 when she had me and my "Father" was violent, so my mother left with me in the middle of the night and stayed with my grandfather. She met my Step (Real imo)Father when i was two, but because they were still only 20 they were trying to have a life together and I was in the way, so my childhood was quite lonely, but when my Sister came along it created a family atmosphere and things got better. I haven't seen my father since i was 8 months old, I hear he's got a tattoo of a tear drop on his cheek lol

 

The Good: I aint in prison, I can look after myself, I have a great relationship with my family (Although they dont live near me now) they still treat me like a child at Christmas

[Ctrl Alt Del]

Good aspects: My father is the most intelligent man I've ever met, period. Not only his present actions but his past too - as he had from a very poor childhood, to the point my grandparents could barely pay his studies. He always says that with the due effort you accomplish everything as well as some other previously thought phrases, about life and my academic life. "You don't like studying? Then do your best the first time, so you won't have to do it again" is my favorite.

 

Mother is also an incredibly intelligent woman and professor. Unlike my old man, she always had a comfortable life, but that didn't kept her from getting her Ph.D. She's the most special person on my life without a doubt, and I can feel her unconditional love every place I go.

 

I've always enjoyed some freedom at home, as my parents completely supports open dialogs to whatever may be grieving or puzzling me. As with Jonathan up there, I pretty much have just a few unbreakable "laws", such as:

1. Don't get a girl pregnant.

Nor get any STDs (Sexual diseases). I find it even more special because they (we) are catholics and go to the church regularly, but that don't keep them from thinking on the possibility.

 

 

Bad Aspects: Both my father and mother are over-worried with my safety. I can be only going to the bakery get some bread for breakfast and there they go warning me to watch for meteors and whatnot. My father also gets worked up to easily for my tastes sometimes and I really feel he should lighten up. That inevitably leads to some discussions but nothing that lasts more than a single week.

 

Other than that, they're pretty open, likable, caring and supportive parents I'm grateful for.

 

(Gosh, that post was unusually emotional of me. I need a joke to lighten:D )

[Inyri]

Both my father and mother are over-worried with my safety.

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here, but I think everyone who's mentioned this should consider it more of a minor annoyance than a con. If anything it's a pro -- sure it gets tiresome hearing their warnings, but it does mean they care about you. Some kids aren't lucky enough to have parents who care if they're run over by a bus.

 

My mom's the same way. It annoys me some times, but at the end of the day I like to know she's thinking about my well-being and cares enough to tell me to drive safely for the 1000th time.

[mimartin]

Unless you are fortuned enough to have a dad like mimartin, most parents "try their best".

Fixed

 

I believe my dad tried his best, and maybe his best was to be absent until he gave up drinking. I hope I was clear that I love my dad very much and would not have traded him or my experience for any other father in the world. Plus I got a pretty good stepfather and stepmother out of the process.

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -M. Twain

That Mark Twain guy was pretty smart. It took me way past 21 to figure that out. Good find EnderWiggin.

 

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here, but I think everyone who's mentioned this should consider it more of a minor annoyance than a con. If anything it's a pro -- sure it gets tiresome hearing their warnings, but it does mean they care about you. Some kids aren't lucky enough to have parents who care if they're run over by a bus.[/qUOTE] I agree that it is a pro and not a con. We should be happy that they take the time to show an interest in our life. My mother was gets high marks on this aspect, I did not like it as a teenager, but I appreciate her effort now. I have to say my father gets high marks in this area once I was in my late teens and twenties, problem is by then I thought I knew it all. Boy was I wrong.

[Ctrl Alt Del]

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here, but I think everyone who's mentioned this should consider it more of a minor annoyance than a con.

 

Oh sure, it is really more of an annoyance. I've even developed and sharpened my skills of "not listen". It should look as if I'm paying attention, except I'm not. I use it a lot when talking to woman. Not including you, course.

[Astrotoy7]

Fixed

 

I believe my dad tried his best...

 

Unfortunately for you both, only a terminal illness could bring that out. It sucks, but it does happen ahwell, at least you did get on well with your stepdad....

 

I understand why step parents are so reviled as a general rule. I feel absolutely no bond nor love for any of my step kids... some of the happiest days of my life were when they buggered off and moved out!!

 

I do my best to be polite, but thats about it, my cats get deeper love from me, and thats how it is....[/evil step-father]

 

mtfbwya

[Inyri]

Not including you, course.

Oh of course not.

[mimartin]

ahwell, at least you did get on well with your stepdad....

 

I understand why step parents are so reviled as a general rule. I feel absolutely no bond nor love for any of my step kids... some of the happiest days of my life were when they buggered off and moved out!!

 

I do my best to be polite, but thats about it, my cats get deeper love from me, and thats how it is....[/evil step-father]

 

mtfbwya

My relationship with my stepfather was terrible after he married my mother. I tried desperately to break up their marriage. It just took time to develop a relationship and with familiarity slowly I began to care about him. I believe the relationship with my father strengthened my relationship with my stepfather. That and both my stepfather and I love and want the best for my mother. Once I figured out he really cared for her I started tolerating him and time took care of the rest.

[Astrotoy7]

... I tried desperately to break up their marriage....

 

lolz....this is why stepkids are so hasslesome. One of my partners kids tried some of this when in their mid teens. Didnt work. But such a royal pain in the a$$ to put up with, as I was trying my best to be civil and stay out of their way.

 

Anyone reading this: never become a step parent to kids 12-17. please. don't do it! I recommend live separately until the kids are a bit more mature/out of the way. Thats how I would have done it if I had my time again.

 

mtfbwya

[HerbieZ]

My dad is great. Has always been supportive of me and kept the house together for me, my sister and my mother. There is not one time he has never been there for me in my life. I cannot express enough how proud i am to call him my father. If it was not for him and the way he brought me up, i would not be the person i am today. I would have most certainly fell into the local caste of council trash. He waited 20 years to tell me that he failed his A-levels because he did not want to give me the impression it would happen to me. That alone is just an example of how much i love my dad. I could not wish for a better father because he will always be the best. He can be a little overprotective sometimes, especially when i was younger. That and i used to have the WORST haircuts when i was younger ever.

 

My mother on the other hand is a different story. Always there but never for me. I hate her but i love her at the same time. She is a Manic Depressive, Paranoid Schizophrenic suffering with Psychosis. It is extremely hard to explain what life with her is like. Normally things are all right. Nearly all of the time she is at home, and most of the time the normality of my mother consists of her expressively emotive conversations with thin air. Rarely she snaps back into the real world, talking with the family and watching tv, laughing, etc. There are times that get really bad and she expresses fears about the most bizarre things. Her conversations and thoughts will be totally devoid of any logic and usually seem like movie plot proposals.

 

For a short time when i was younger the whole situation made me extremely angry, but i quickly realized i was only going to drive myself into an early grave like this, so i taught myself to seriously mellow. Although there is too much to go into detail here, the reason i hate her is because of all the things she said and did when she was in this state. Naturally i should not be like this towards her. It is because of her depression and not her fault. But she is my mother, and this is all i have ever known from her. After everything that has happened and how it has pulled my life down. Made me submissive, and if anything added to my complete lack of total self-confidence. I can't not hate her for it.

 

/emo

[mur'phon]

Good: They parted ways when they stoped loving each other, and are now happily divorced (and since I was young it meant lots of gifts:D). Lots of freedom "If you get yourself in trouble, get out by yourself, no help from us." When I became 16 they added "Break the law or don't do your share of the work, and you better start looking for a job and a home". Educated enough that they can still help me with my schoolwork. No "indoctrination", I didn't know my parents where atheists before I asked. I believe it have worked out well, though I guess I'll find out now that I'm moving out.

 

Bad: Dad is blackpowder, Mom is forestfire, it got better once they divorced though. That, and they both plan to enjoy life to the max, which means no inheritance once the time comes.

 

Just a little heads up here people, divorce isn't neccesarly bad, it can alow parrents to still be friends, and often the alternative is "forced co-existence" which is terrible for everyone involved.

 

Astro: Couldn't agree more:D

 

Ctrl: Why don't you just cover the girls mouth with your own instead:confused: