Boba Rhett Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 All my stores have Throwback still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthDie Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Doritos spicy sweet chili chips are awesome . Hopefully they stick around... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 OK, kind of food related--got this from a friend of mine and was rolling on the floor when reading this. A Texas Chili Contest - **Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better** For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the city park. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Canada. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecards from the event: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 - Nice & smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans. Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Carrie, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. witch is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Carrie saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really p***es me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Carrie. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like **** to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 That midnight black Mountain Dew...twas teh ****. If you mean that Mt. Dew Pitch Black that came out for Halloween about 5 years ago and then disappeared forever, I concur. Best. Grape. Soda. Ever. Where the hell is it now? Is it just me, or does that burger look like it's using two Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a bun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Is it just me, or does that burger look like it's using two Krispy Kreme doughnuts for a bun? Wow Columbo, you figured that out from JUST the picture?! Here is another child hood favorite of mine. Urban myths claim it still exists in certain cities around the world. Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda. And yes, it really tastes like chocolate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Here is another child hood favorite of mine. Urban myths claim it still exists in certain cities around the world. How long ago are we talking here? Never heard of this before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 How long ago are we talking here? Never heard of this before. Last time I chugged some Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda was either late 80's or early 90's. I don't remember. Let's put a twist on this thread. How about things you tried that were not so tasty? I bring you exhibit #1. G.I. Joe cereal. There was a ritual when I was younger. I would accompany my mom to the grocery store and help her bag and carry the groceries home. The reward for my service was that I would get to pick out a box of cereal. I could have ANY cereal I wanted, but the rule was that I would have to FINISH the box of cereal before another was purchased. Well in my youth I was all about G.I. Joe, A real American Hero! I watched the cartoons faithfully. I saved my allowance and purchased the action figures whenever I had the chance to do so. I go to the store and there is Duke on a cereal box starring at me. The look on his cartoon face was that of "eat my cereal and support the troops!" I felt it was my god given duty to do just that. Besides I had a cereal box with ****ing Duke on it! How awesome is that? I just imagined how cool it would be having that box sitting on my breakfast table in the morning! G.I. Joe cereal was actually nothing more than a generic corn cereal shaped like stars. But seriously, how bad can it be? About as bad as a donkey with diarrhea puking into a bowl of cream of wheat. The cereal tasted like a cross between dried corn, and aardvark vomit. And was "lightly" sweetened by anything but sugar... Now, the box did look good sitting on my breakfast table, however it took me all of five minutes to realize that the most exciting part of this awful cereal was the box itself. The box even tasted better. I still remember the way I felt when I first put a spoon of that crap into my mouth. You know those cartoons where a guy's head is replaced with a giant sucker? JUST LIKE THAT. That was the first time I ever felt like a victim of corporate marketing. I fell for Duke's dumb call to arms and got stuck with the ****tiest box of cereal I had ever consumed. Well I take that back. The ****tiest box of cereal I had ever consumed was Grape Nuts, which was the only cereal my dad's mother ever had in the house. G.I. Joe stars is only second to that. Of course I had to lie to my mother (because we had this weird rule about complaining about food in our house ) and tell her it was delicious. I spent a good couple of weeks literally choking that crap down, and feeding it to my dog when mom was out of the kitchen. I am sure my dog hated me for that. Then I would go to school hungry. Then of course a few weeks later, mom went to the grocery store without me, and decided to surprise me after school. "Look honey I got your favorite! G.I. Joe cereal!" Imagine my face blushing with a big fake **** eating grin, and sweat pouring down my big fat lying face... "Oh mom, how nice of you, you really shouldn't have..." I had to pretend that I was well disciplined soldier of G.I. Joe to force myself to endure it every morning. I learned a great deal about self discipline. Another couple of weeks I went to school hungry...and the dog got fatter. I made damn sure I went to the grocery store after that. The only way I could get out of that lie was to find another cereal. And of course my mom in the store would say "What about your favorite? G.I. Joe's?" I had to explain that since there were no cool toys in that box, that I wanted something different. She seemed content with that explanation. Lesson learned. Had to support my troops, but I refused to consume it's corporate cardboard cereal again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Wow Columbo, you figured that out from JUST the picture?! You have my most sincere apology for having never encountered a food combination that my dog would think twice about before eating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZBomber Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 3D Doritoes Cheetos Xs and Os And I looked everywhere online, but no pics: Cheetos Cheezy Checkers My god, Frito Lay, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CHILDHOOD?! Now I need some ****in cheetos... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Lemon coolers. In I had these as a kid and they were my favorite cookies. They were powdered lemon cookies that you put in the freezer and ate cold. In 1996, Sunshine Biscuits merged with Keebler Company, and Lemon Coolers were discontinued. I can't find a picture of the packaging, and that picture is actually probably someone's home cooked lemon coolers. The Thanksgiving before last, I tried using a recipe I found on the internet that claimed to be like Sunshine Lemon Coolers, but they weren't nearly as good. In the past year or so, I discovered Mother's Iced Lemonade cookies. They don't make up for the loss of the lemon coolers so long ago, but they're still quite delicious when put into the freezer and it's at least some consolation. You can imagine my disappointment when Mother's Cookies went bankrupt and closed in October of last year. Thankfully, the other day my dad was shopping and found some Mother's Iced Lemonade cookies. Apparently, Mother's cookies was aquired by Kellogg, and their cookies were brought back last month. I have some in the freezer right now. Edit: Nevermind, I ate them all. And Zed, I have to agree with you on the X's and O's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZBomber Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 And Zed, I have to agree with you on the X's and O's. For some reason, the Xs and Os just tasted better... I dobut there was really a difference between those and normal cheetos, but in my mind they taste better. And I had cookies I used to love when I was little. I think they were just shortbread cookies with a Hershey kiss in the middle (or is it hug? whichever is pure milk chocolate). I've seen things like it since then, but never ones as good as the original ones I had. Another is white fudge Oreos.. they only make them around Christmas, but I didn't see any last year. And Jeff, they still make Dunkaroos. For Christmas 2007, my exgirlfriend and I discovered they still sell them at wholesale stores like BJs. We bought huge boxes of them... but she was diagnosed with Celiacs a few months later and thats the last time I had them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Root beer specially designed for geeks on those extra special nights where you will be having some prolonged nerdgasm sessions with your computer. 'Nuff said. (So F***ing what it's a drink in a food thread! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troopr-Undr-Fir Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Miss 100 proof of goodness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Absynthe? Anyone? I tried drinking that once but there was just no way I could keep it down. I yacked everywhere. Strangely enough, I actually remember that one. Here is another child hood favorite of mine. Urban myths claim it still exists in certain cities around the world. Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda. And yes, it really tastes like chocolate! HOLY ****ING ****! I *thought* this is what you were talking about! Hell **** yeah! I remember this **** from mad days ago, only chocolate flavored soda I ever drank. Only diet soda I ever liked, too. +25 awesome points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Can't find a picture of it, but they used to make Honey Grahams with Marshmallows. It was so amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthAve Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 And I had cookies I used to love when I was little. I think they were just shortbread cookies with a Hershey kiss in the middle (or is it hug? whichever is pure milk chocolate). I've seen things like it since then, but never ones as good as the original ones I had. My grandmother makes things like those every year, such goodness. I've never seen them sold outside of a bakesale though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Dravis Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Rhett, I tried one of those Volcano tacos a few months ago. Maybe I'm exemplifying the stereotype here (c.f. Jae's post), but I didn't think it was very hot. I've been on a road trip this month and it seems like there's very little in the way of spicy the further north you go. Even the "hot" sauce at Mexican restaurants isn't hot. I like the HEB brand Jalapeno tortilla chips. They have a good flavor and are reasonably hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I call BS on you, Dravis! I had a teacher who made his own hot-sauce. My uncle lives in Texas and is used to all that crap. My teacher's hot-sauce made my uncle's nose bleed. Nothing in the way of spicey....puh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Dravis Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Well, maybe I'm wrong that there's nothing. But I think it's just weird that very few people seem to like the spicy, given the lack of such things in places like grocery stores. About the hottest item I've seen in those is Tabasco sauce, but using that is like pretending that spicy is a seasoning and not a flavor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astor Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Haven't seen these in the UK for a very long time - I used to love them as a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderQ Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 ^^Heh...They're after me Lucky Charms:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Haven't seen these in the UK for a very long time - I used to love them as a kid. Wow, UK doesn't have Lucky Charms? Too Irish or something? (I'm gonna bet they don't have them in Ireland either.) (actual product may have varied) I used to love Sour Cream & Onion Chex Mix but I haven't seen it around in years. The best they have now is cheddar, and that gets old after awhile. Of course their best flavor had to be the one that was discontinued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astor Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Wow, UK doesn't have Lucky Charms? Too Irish or something? (I'm gonna bet they don't have them in Ireland either.) We used to have them (i've no idea about Ireland, but I doubt they have them) - I had them for breakfast everyday when they were around, but then they just disappeared about 15 years ago - although, i've heard that they're around in a select few shops (Wal-Mart, probably). It might require a trip to one of those stores to recapture my childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 'Nuff Said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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