Jerec Skywalker Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Have a question that you have been pondering on? Want to share it? Post it here. And here are some questions to start you off with! 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? 27. Christmas oxymoron:? What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 28)If you eat pasta and antipasta would you still be hungry? 29)How deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 30)Can you get into the HOV lane alone if you have multiple personalities? 31)If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you done? 32)If buttered toast always lands on the buttered side and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you tape toast (buttered side up) on a cat's back and throw it? I'll get more later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 When midgets have sex, do they have twoplay? Why if an adult is said to have the mind of a child, he gets institutionalized, whereas children are free to walk the streets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REDJOHNNYMIKE Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Answers... 2. The result of a bloody coup 4. Mushrooms 5. *Pimpslaps Jerec* That's wack 13. They were merged in the Great Johnny Apocalypse of '85 16. Because we're so much smarter than them 17. In my mind 18. Like everything else in life...it's sexy 20. You've just never attended a Species 8472 orgy 22. I use trash bags 27. I eat out of my socks all year;) Q's 33. Why are my pants so tight? 34. Why did Adam and Eve have to be so stupid? 35. Why is the internet a conspiracy of alien governments and entertainment industries constructed for the sole purpose of running psychological experiments on me...the last Jedi? Edited numbers to reflect chronological order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 28--You're in denial that Big Mac's really aren't healthy. 29--If they weren't, nobody would need churches. This pisses churches off immensely. 30--It's not. Everybody knows that *I'm* the last Jedi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 1. Nope, however it is good if it can generate a vacuum. 2. It keeps track of the seconds. 3. There's more than one dictionary. 4. Word of mouf. 5. ???? 6. I've never heard the expression "slow up". 7. ???? 8. They don't. 9. Nostalgic about the concept of "a little while ago". 10. ???? 11. Short for after darkness falls. 12. That's the point. 13. Not necessarily. 14. Look and see have incrdibly similar definitions. 15. Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? 16. Work isn't always terrific, that's why it's called "work". 17. To watch the play more comfortably. 18. An idealistic douchebag made up that expression. 19. Stupid question. 20. Panties isn't plural. 21. I don't. 22. Not necessarily. 23. Abbrv. 24. They get wet. 25. It doesn't get a chance to dry. 26. Set-up? 27. I don't do either of those things and I don't know anyone who does. 28. Nonsensical question. 29. Insignifigantly deeper. 30. I don't know, try it! 31. You've failed one task and succeeded in the other. 32. I like Pop-Tarts. 33. No more intarwebs for you. 34. lol i dunno 35. Silly, Al Gore invented the internet! Qs 36: Why is the Theorum of Bliss so complicated (google it)? 37: "Do you sell hubcaps for a '72 Pinto hatchback?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REDJOHNNYMIKE Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 A 30. No. One of my personalities is a cop. 31. Wasted a day better spent watching tv. 32. The epiphany that you are in fact a bleeder. @Mace, I don't eat big macs;) And it serves them right for excluding Rock from praise and worship. I'm sorry to inform you, but you're software, a part of the construct, I am in fact Teh-Cho-Zen-Wun:cool: A 36. Because some idiot tried to make bliss a theorum. 37. Nope, just several large hammers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Lion54 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 3. See link- Dord 4. He didn't. He wrote the first American dicionary. He changed the spelling of some British words to take out silent "u"s. (Colour became Color. Favourite became Favorite.) Webster also added a few words from the American vernacular. Question: How is there a Never Ending Story 2 if the first one never ended? (There are three, actually.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 32)If buttered toast always lands on the buttered side and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you tape toast (buttered side up) on a cat's back and throw it? I'll get more later. Darn, you had to specify that 'taped buttered side up' thing this time. Answer: you get fur and duct tape residue on your toast and a really p#$$ed off cat. Neither is A Good Thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedHawke Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 [Query] Should I terminate this thread now Master? No HK, we will wait and see... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdKnightR Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Why are they called apartments when they are all crammed together? Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Why do some guys say "I gotta take a dump" when in reality, they are leaving one? Why do they call an avoided accident a near-miss instead of a near-hit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ztalker Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? That one is from Brainiac..some others are too... It's nice, nevertheless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAiNz.2da Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Why do feet "smell" and noses "run"? Do fish get cramps after eating? If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? What's another word for thesaurus? Why is there a mailbox in front of the post office? How can water run when it has no legs? If UFO stands for Unidentified Flying Object, doesn't that identify it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 28)If you eat pasta and antipasta would you still be hungry? 29)How deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 30)Can you get into the HOV lane alone if you have multiple personalities? 31)If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you done? 32)If buttered toast always lands on the buttered side and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you tape toast (buttered side up) on a cat's back and throw it? I'll get more later. answers: 29) around 7.823 cm shallower 31) succeed, because the object to attain was failing 32)the cat's knee joints get reversed and its legs touch the ground along with the buttered side of the toast just 1 Q: If a person in a supersonic jet f@rts, will he hear it before he smells it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Who was the gentleman when Adam delved and Eve span? Why is there a slot for Taris on the KotOR galaxy map, which then disappears after its destruction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peff Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 How do I know that im not imagening this forum, this chair im sitting on, my family, the world ? Does meat make sound ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 32)If buttered toast always lands on the buttered side and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you tape toast (buttered side up) on a cat's back and throw it? Hallucination, you're going to love this: http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/cattoast.htm I found it today, and you posted this today. Coincidence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Obi-Wan Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Q: Is the Force real? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 @Sabre: sombody's got some real spare time out there Q: If horrific corresponds to horrible, does terrific correspond to terrible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Hallucination, you're going to love this: http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/cattoast.htm I found it today, and you posted this today. Coincidence? Damn that was funny. @RC: No, it doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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