Mace MacLeod Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 [RANT] Now, I'm no stranger to crappy tv, but this really is the limit. I grew up watching idiotic American tv piped into Canada, and equally idiotic (though less) Canadian shows littering the airwaves. Some of the only saviours in my viewing were British shows like Blackadder, Fawlty Towers and Sherlock Holmes (with Jeremy Brett, natch), and when my little family pulled up stakes and hopped across the pond, I had hopes that less moronic viewing fare might just be in the offing. Sadly, a year after my arrival in Ireland, I must finally bow to the inevitable and ask the following question of the British and Irish television industries: How the hell is it that you idiots have managed to produce all this CRAP?! I dare say you've even managed to outproduce Hollywood. There I was in Canada with my 57 channels of crap on basic cable, but now I have Sky Satellite tv. Instead of 57 channels of crap, I now have several hundred channels of crap. How is this even possible? Did you guys just keep making channels and then trying to find something anything to show on them? And why the bloody hell do you think that people need about 5000 hours of vacuous reality shows on every single damn day?! I hold up a couple of examples: 1) Jade Goody. For those of you fortunate enough to have no idea who this bimbo is, she was a contestant on Big Brother 3 or 4 or something. She's some obnoxious, talentless twit with big boobs, and she has no less than three entire shows dedicated to her. There's Just Jade, which apparently follows her attempts to go through life without getting shot for being too annoying to live, Jade's PA, which follows her auditioning people stupid enough to want to be around her 24/7, then there was Extreme Makeover: Jade's Mom, where folks akin to Queer Eye for the Clueless Straight Loser guys give her mom a makeover. And this is the tip of the iceberg, reality show-wise. What the hell is wrong with you people that you would watch this and thereby encourage more shows like it to be made, British People?! 2) Lesbians Go Wild On Lesbos. This is the single most blatant case of false advertising I've seen in years. A one-off reality show special, this depicts the supposedly erotic lesbian vacation cruise to the Greek isle of Lesbos, which has a mayor who isn't as open-minded as you'd think. Congratulations, SkyTravel channel. You have managed to make lesbian pleasure cruise specials so boring not even heterosexual guys in their mid-thirties can watch more than ten minutes. Gaaaaaahhhh, I'm going to the pub. [/RANT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totenkopf Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 We recognize that here in the US as well. Though why you thought that any tv programing wasn't going to dumb down just b/c it originated overseas is a bit of a mystery to me. Chalk it up to the stupification or increasing crassness of the people who run entertainment media and the fools they actually get to watch their drivel. That, and as you mentioned, they had to fill the airtime with something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 TV has more crap than one person can ever hope (or should I say dread?) to witness. Reason #394801398457962 why I don't bother having even cable television. You don't have to stay subscribed to satellite TV, Mace. If there's nothing interesting, there's no reason to have it. There are plenty of other things to do anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T7nowhere Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Yup, I can't stand 99% of whats on TV. I got so fed up with it I cancled my cable over a year ago. It really pissed me off when they turned TLC( The Learning Channel) into nonstop crappy home renovation and reality shows. That channel doesn't even deserve that name anymore. There are only about half a dozen shows I actually want to watch, the rest I couldn't be botherd with. Thats not to say I don't watch TV though, I do but I only watch the shows I want to watch. The Internet is much more entertaining than TV and flexable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 If you want some more fuel for your rant there are three (yes, I said three) channels devoted entirely to Starcraft in Korea. In my opinion T.V. went down the drain when Oprah was born, so I don't have much to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 That's why God made books. And assorted online entertainment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Sun Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Amen ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HerbieZ Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 UK TV is apalling. I only watch American shows because the UK has crap shows and crap people making them. It always some generic comedy on BBC 1 that is not funny in the slightest usually with "GENERICNAME accidentally forgets GENERICNAME2's birthday which makes for hilarious consiquesnces" in the title. ITV is worse, theres always some old peoples murder mystery shows on with some old lady being battered to death with a clotted cream scone in the peaceful summer village of Deathshire. Channel 4 are now officially useless since they lost LOST to Sky One. But Channel 4 were useless anyway since they believe Russel Brand should be on TV or anywhere near a camera. Oddly the only useful channel is Channel 5 now who have gotten into the habit of showing half decent movies every night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth333 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I almost never watch tv. I am sick of all the games and reality tv and I don't really have time to follow any series. I only check the weather broadcast and the ski conditions . I don't even watch the news anymore (save for the European news occasionally (it's good to get another POV) as everything is on the net and we receive several papers at the office (saves me from the ads and the insignificant news about the "neighbour's dog" as I call them). Yesterday evening I was thinking about getting rid of my cable subscription once and for all. books, papers and magazines FTW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Sun Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 UK TV is apalling. I only watch American shows because the UK has crap shows and crap people making them. It always some generic comedy on BBC 1 that is not funny in the slightest usually with "GENERICNAME accidentally forgets GENERICNAME2's birthday which makes for hilarious consiquesnces" in the title. ITV is worse, theres always some old peoples murder mystery shows on with some old lady being battered to death with a clotted cream scone in the peaceful summer village of Deathshire. Channel 4 are now officially useless since they lost LOST to Sky One. But Channel 4 were useless anyway since they believe Russel Brand should be on TV or anywhere near a camera. Oddly the only useful channel is Channel 5 now who have gotten into the habit of showing half decent movies every night. That's quite a good summary of UK tv I'd say, except that X Factor is funny as hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 Ahhh...just got another example. There's an ad that comes up over and over again for a cellphone ringtone download. It's supposed to be a 17k ringtone that all us adults and teachers can't hear. It's always on the late-night channels. Then it says that you can only order it if you're 18 or older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Point Man Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 If you like the CSI franchise, you could watch it literally 40 hours a week here in America. With so many channels, the need for programming brings back shows that should never get resurrected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Yesterday evening I was thinking about getting rid of my cable subscription once and for all. Go with it. All you have to lose is an extra bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 My buddy has a bootleg satellite system. He highjacks the signals that are supposed to be aimed at Canada. In other words, he doesn't pay for service, so he gets his crap for free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Lion54 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 I only check the weather broadcast and the ski conditions. Well, assuming you use FireFox, try Forcastfox for your weather needs. I have is set to just show the current temperature but its got a lot of customization. I could have sworn I saw one that showed ski conditions, but for the life of me, I can't find it now. As far as TV goes, there are a few shows I like, but not many. I don't watch TV too much anymore. My DVD player gets a nice workout though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 DISCLAIMER (or, why I even have satellite tv): When we moved, we did it in stages. My wife came first to set up house, my daughter followed a few months later just before her school year started, and I brought up the rear after settling our affairs and putting our stuff in storage. In the intervening months my wife and daughter were by themselves...well, things got tense sometimes. They had no computer, very few books that they could bring with them, all their friends and family were thousands of miles away, and with only 4 channels on tv, they found themselves with nothing but each other for entertainment a lot of the time. Now, our little family gets along astonishingly well 99% of the time, but Mrs. MacLeod and Little Miss MacLeod are both seasoned veterans at pushing each others' buttons. When I'm around, I can always spot their arguments coming a mile away. It's like watching the Titanic heading for the iceberg. "Oop...yup, there's the iceberg out there. Yeah...yeah...we're on course for it. Getting closer...getting closer...all we have to do is turn a bit and we can miss it...but no...no...why would we do that...yup, here it comes...oh...oh...yeah, that's the sound of tearing metal...there's the sound of rushing water...going down...where did I leave my water wings...?" In other words, they needed something to distract them or else they might as well have changed their names to Bosnia and Serbia. Especially on those magical occasions where Aunt Flo decides to visit both the MacLeod women at the same time, and I find myself living with a two-headed whining monster that hoovers up all the chocolate. Watching Samurai Jack dubbed into that weird moon-man language they talk on the Irish-speaking channel only goes so far. So with the Sky box, Little Miss MacLeod got to watch Avatar, Mrs. MacLeod gets her interminable home decorating and travel shows, and I get my War Channel and Biker Build-off shows. And lo, there was peace. Still blows me away how I can have over 500 channels with nothing on most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 My buddy has a bootleg satellite system. He highjacks the signals that are supposed to be aimed at Canada. In other words, he doesn't pay for service, so he gets his crap for free. Oh yeah, like that's honorable, much less legal. @Mace--"Aunt Flo" We were visiting a couple one time and the husband complained that "Oscar came to visit." I about fell over howling laughing because I'd never heard of Oscar the Grouch being used in quite that manner before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 ^^Yeah, ol' Aunt Flo can cast a very dark and sinister influence when she wants to. As a guy, it's hard to bring up the subject on those times where it might be appropriate to do so. I realized a while ago that I've been having the same argument with different women for about 15-16 years. "What's that? You don't want to go to the restaurant where we had reservations...? No, neither do I. Or...the restaurant beside it...? No...no, I don't want to go there either. And...all those other restaurants I was...about to suggest...yes, they're all crap too, I agree. However, the important thing is, when we do find somewhere to eat, and we will very soon because you're starving, and I know that because you've mentioned it several times, when we are seated, could you possibly run over a list of my faults? Because, you know, I just wouldn't have any idea how imperfect I am without you to tell me..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 ^^ The restaurant thing... ^^Yeah, ol' Aunt Flo can cast a very dark and sinister influence when she wants to. As a guy, it's hard to bring up the subject on those times where it might be appropriate to do so. I realized a while ago that I've been having the same argument with different women for about 15-16 years. Here's the thing--we a. hate being hormonal to begin with and b. hate admitting we can be hormonal in the first place. I'm an (over) educated professional woman, wife, and mother. Do you think I like to admit to myself (much less others) that some stupid little chemical that decides to run through my system once a month has the capacity to turn me into a raving lunatic? It's like I'm supposed to be above that kind of thing by now. In any case, the stupid little chemicals alter perception. When I'm irritated, it's not 'me' who's the problem, it's the 'rest of the universe' and/or 'you'. The rest of the world is doing it's darnedest to really p!ss me off (even if they're not), and they need to be dealt with accordingly. No, it doesn't make any sense, and any other time the stupid things wouldn't bother me. Jimbo solves the problem by saying "Oh, Sweetheart, Love of My Life, here is chocoloate. I drew a bath for you and sprinkled some oil of lavender in it--though I will be happy to drain it and draw another bath should you prefer a different essence--and made you a pina colada (and I'll be happy to drink that if you prefer something else) to savor while you soak reading this historical bodice-ripping romance novel. While you're enjoying this pampering which I'm not worthy to bring to you, I'm afraid I must beg your indulgence. I have a big project sitting on the workbench from last month that I must continue." Somehow, in the course of the bath, he'll 'discover' that he's 'missing' something for the 'big project' and it requires a trip to the hardware store to resolve. Several hours later, he'll return and escape to the basement. He's driven off many a time in search of something at the hardware store or to 'get something fixed on the car'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 The above post is a terrific example of why I will never marry. I grew up in a household with four older sisters and an out-of-control control freak of a mother, and their cycles were ALL IN SYNC with one another. My dad was worn down to a nub before I was 10. Oh yeah, like that's honorable, much less legal. Oh yeah, like the exorbitant fees that the cable/satellite service providers extort from their customers to view all of that advertising is honorable. What they do may be legal, but it certainly is not honorable. Are you saying that you have NEVER moved into an apartment that still had the cable hooked up and simply "forgot" to inform the cable compay, thereby receiving their signal for free? If so, then you're one of the few people in my generation that hasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 The above post is a terrific example of why I will never marry. I grew up in a household with four older sisters and an out-of-control control freak of a mother, and their cycles were ALL IN SYNC with one another. My dad was worn down to a nub before I was 10. Oh yeah, like the exorbitant fees that the cable/satellite service providers extort from their customers to view all of that advertising is honorable. What they do may be legal, but it certainly is not honorable. Are you saying that you have NEVER moved into an apartment that still had the cable hooked up and simply "forgot" to inform the cable compay, thereby receiving their signal for free? If so, then you're one of the few people in my generation that hasn't. There's something about a group of women all living together that does weird things.... The places we lived in had basic cable for free if there's already existing cable at the home or if it's a big complex, so we haven't had to deal with that issue. We like TV, but we're not going to die if we can't see it. The honor/dishonor of the cable company has absolutely nothing to do with my personal honor. Just because they might be doing something wrong doesn't give _me_ the excuse to do something wrong in return--my honor is not based on what they do. You can sugar-coat it any way you want to, but it's still theft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 You're right, Jae; it is. My bad. I lived next door to a cable guy for years and because I got along well with him, I never had to pay for cable. Technically, since he hooked it up without asking me first, I didn't do the stealing, but that's just a case of justification by semantics. It would probably qualify as receiving stolen property, which isn't very cool, either. Right now, I have neither cable nor satellite, nor do I plan on getting either in the forseeable future. I just can't justify the expense, having been spoiled with free cable for all those years, and given the fact that I only watched a couple of channels out of all of that crap while I had it. I will also say that if I got a satellite system today, that I would pay for the service instead of going to the lengths my buddy did to steal the signal. It would be less of a hassle just to pay for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REDJOHNNYMIKE Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 It's worth it for sports IMO, I really like sports. Adult swim, comedy central (only half the time though, some of the comedians are morons who should be curbed), G4, scifi, and channels that play random movies and tv shows (sometimes you'll run across something good). Not much else worth watching unless you care about the opinions of people on the news who are incompetent at the most basic of neural proccessess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted November 26, 2006 Author Share Posted November 26, 2006 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!! I now officially hate Irish satellite tv. There's a "Sports" section to the listings, right? About 30 channels with soccer (yawn), rugby (double yawn, although here in Limerick it's more of a religion than Catholicism), competitive darts (seriously), and other scintillating European sports. There's one lonely North American sports channel, NASN. It's scrambled 99% of the time, so I never bother to tune in. Why would I? It's scrambled, isn't it? And usually, it's American college football they show on it, which I couldn't care less about. BUT. BUT YESTERDAY. There I am, casually flipping through the listings while my daughter blabs on MSN messenger to her friends, and I see just the last few minutes listed of: CFL GREY CUP LIONS VS ALOUETTES 2006. I snap to attention, and just for a laugh tune the channel in, expecting to see the usual snow and "no signal" display. BUT IT ACTUALLY HAD THE GAME!!!! UNSCRAMBLED!!!!! AND I MISSED IT!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!! Montreal Alouettes suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabish Bini Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 HA HA! I live in Aus. I don't have to watch UK shows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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