Artoo Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In hell, everyone would be caught and labeled a plaugerist because as we know by now there is no original thought left. (Rhett ) In hell, Cell phones would be required to be plugged into a wall socket to function properly. In hell, there would be no Switzerlands, only Frances. In hell, there wouldn't be any arky or dutch invasions, but instead a korean invasion. In hell, tissues would feel like paper towls with fishhooks in them. In hell, toilet paper would feel close to the same except replace paper towls with sandpaper. In hell, the U.S. government would grant the winner of the next American Idol the presidency. :D
Darth Homer Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 This is something that has stuck in my head and this thread has made resurface, so now I must share it to keep it out of my head... A Devil and an Angel meet on Earth and start to compare Heaven to Hell. The devil says, "We have it tough....see, in Hell, there's this really big hall, with an enormous table that has every type of food imaginable, but our utensils are 6 feet long and we can't get the food into our mouths! We have all the food we could want, but are starving!" The Angel responds, "You know, in Heaven we have a hall that is much like yours...we also have a long table and a banquet very much the same. We also use utensils that are 6 feet long. The only difference is, in Heaven, we feed each other." Sorry to go all sappy on you and all, but I had to get it out of my system.
Sherack Nhar Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 And on earth you just eat with your hands ^_^
Kylilin Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 A Devil and an Angel meet on Earth and start to compare Heaven to Hell. The devil says, "We have it tough....see, in Hell, there's this really big hall, with an enormous table that has every type of food imaginable, but our utensils are 6 feet long and we can't get the food into our mouths! We have all the food we could want, but are starving!" The Angel responds, "You know, in Heaven we have a hall that is much like yours...we also have a long table and a banquet very much the same. We also use utensils that are 6 feet long. The only difference is, in Heaven, we feed each other." Not sappy at all, pretty profound if you ask me... back to the topic at hand: In Hell, Michael Jordan isn't allowed to play basketball. In Hell, you not allowed to guzzle a glass of ice cold milk after scarfing down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In Hell, cereal is to be eaten with water. In Hell, beer is not allowed. In Hell, Kylilin can't be a wiseass. (perish the thought)
Ratmjedi Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In Hell, the only food that is available is Brussel Sprouts In Hell, the only movie that you can go see is Titanic In Hell, the only video game that you can play is Barbies Fun House In Hell, the only music that you can listen to is Boy George In Hell, there is a Moderator called Tyrion
Rogue Nine Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In hell, the forum gets nuked so no one can bitch about them anymore.
Jon Snow Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In Hell, the only thing on TV are televangelists and Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? ... nah I'd rather torture people with Chef Tony and Miracle Blade. In Hell, MSN doesn't exist, nor AIM, YIM, ICQ, MIRC or any IRC! In Hell, everyone speaks a different language, so you are finally truly alone. In Hell, every beautiful girl becomes ugly the first time you kiss her. In Hell, you are forced to eat McDonald's every day! (NO SUBWAYS ) In Hell, you would remain an underappreciated employee in an overdemanding job function... wait that's Dilbert, but I think the ruler of Heck made a cameo ... **Censored In Hell, sex would feel bad In Hell, loyalty will be replaced with betrayal, kindness replaced by cruelty, consideration replaced by avarice, values replaced by vices and love replaced by nothing. In Hell, the ruler will be George W. Bush Jr. and we're all arabs
Treacherous Mercenary Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In hell, Fighting Mike Tyson will only get your ear bitten off In hell, the majority of the people are perverts In hell, is Gravis856 would be the leader of the perverted people. (Someone I know from another community to say the least )
swphreak Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In H3ll, There are grades 13 through 20 after high school. then there's 8 years of college for a certificate that says you went to college. The 12th year is the bachelar's degree.
darthfergie Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 In HE double hockey sticks (you bad people:p ): All would be deprived of Iamnotyourmom.com or it_is_supereasy.net and Coach Ortiz would not be President. Money would never grow on trees Only sport on TV would be baseball (DIE EVIL DEMONS!) Bards would not be able to kill with Harps
swphreak Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 In H3ll, there is homework every night. . . oh wait. My teacher is satan! In H3ll, Star Wars was direced by Steven Spielberg not Lucas. . . well, it's not that bad I guess. . .
Surfnshannon Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 in hell... no candy woman are pregnant for 2 years (like elephants) instead of 9 months there are no microwaves u have to watch the movie GLITTER there are no remote controls! no mouses for the computer....only that stupid little touch pad! og nintendo controller to play all console games there is no PAUSe (remember those days) No Save for video games (remember when you would leave your nintendo turned on for days!) 80 hour work weeks that's all i can think of right now... oh remember the old MILK commercial.....thinks he's in heaven eating cookies and then all the milk cartons are empty...
Boba Rhett Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 Every other hour you have to play, "Hide the Pineapple" with Hitler and Himmler.
Clefo Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 Little Nickey, sheesh think of something mildly original (Not like the one I'm about to post is.. Maybe it is) In hell, you have to evade the Cardboard Tube Samurai all day (Props to anyone who catches the ref)
Tie Guy Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 Originally posted by STTCT (remember when you would leave your nintendo turned on for days!) Remember? My PS2's pushing a weak right now. In Hell, the weathermen are never right...wait.... In Hell, there are no spaces or punctuation in the English language, like Latin. Wouldn't that suck? In Hell, there's always a guy with his huge bass turned up way way way too loud following you around.
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 23, 2003 Author Posted January 23, 2003 In Hell, every food smells wonderful, looks even better, but taste like cardboard! In Hell, ice cream is always melted. In Hell, magic markers don't make you lightheaded and dizzy when you sniff them!
Boba Rhett Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 Originally posted by Clefo In hell, you have to evade the Cardboard Tube Samurai all day (Props to anyone who catches the ref) PA....duh. Hell and you bitched about my plagiarism. Can you go without bitching for five minutes, Clef, or does the stuff begin to leak out of all you orifices? And that reminds me, In hell, stuff leaks out of all your orifices.
Darth Homer Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 In hell, a snowball doesn't stand a chance...
Hannibal Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 In hell, your name is Cody Gifford.(That means your mom is Kathy Lee Gifford)
swphreak Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 In H3ll, gay Saddam is following you around trying to hit on you cuz satan doesn't like him anymore (You know, south park?)
Clefo Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 Well Rhett, at least I don't have the habit of going to manboylove.com, which in hell is the only site on the net
Dark Sad Shadow Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 in hell, princess leia runs in underwear in hell, time stops for no one in hell, spongebob squarepants is the son of Satan
Darth Groovy Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 In Hell there is only country music. In Hell there is nothing on the menu but tuna fish and frozen peas. In Hell spiders are 8 feet tall. In Hell there is no Star Wars, only old re-runs of Lost In Space In Hell all clothes are made of satin spandex. In Hell the only phone calls you get are from telemarketers. In Hell you are continuely forced to listen to ex-girlfreinds tell you about why they think they should join the peace corps, how thir father did not give them enough attention, and what a scumbag their new boyfriend is. In Hell all guys are named Chuck. In Hell all girls are named Taylor. In Hell all jobs are night shift. In Hell everyone drives a KIA. In Hell the Republican party claims it's politics as a religion, and you are forced to attend church every Sunday and listen to why everyone needs to tighten they're belts and make sacrifices. In Hell Goerge Dubya Bush is the President, and Opra Winfrey is Vice President. In Hell all movies star Ben Affleck, Kevin Koster, Richard Dean Anderson, Winona Ryder, and Renee Ruso. In Hell all movies are chick flicks, and gross out comedies. In Hell everyone wears bell bottums. In Hell everyone smokes really nasty smelling cigars. In Hell Winona Ryder is found innocent and sues Saks Fith Avenue for 2 Billion, and wins. In Hell your best friend is Corey Feldman. In Hell everyone watches the Weather Channel all day. In Hell everyone has dial-up connections. In Hell Fred Durst is refered too as "The Messiah". In Hell the only video game is Contra: Legacy of War. In Hell you never find your car keys.....ever.
Mex Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 In hell you have to run Windows 95 or die! In hell a c3po runs after you all day. In hell you can't move your mouse without being inturrupted by a porn popup!
Dagobahn Eagle Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 In Hell, Bush is a life-time dictator instead of a 4-year president. In Hell, no girls are named Yosie and no guys are named Rune. In Hell, a homosexual Saddam Hussein keeps stalking you. Hell is divided in two and the two sides fight each others eternally. In Hell, the off-button to that pesky little pokemon toy that keeps repeating "pikachu, pikachu", is lost. In Hell, no one are ever allowed to use the bathroom, drinks are allowed in class, and classes last for three hours. In Hell, there are no bathroom facilities at school and school days are 24 hours long. (STTCT) In Hell, a lesbian ugly 90-year old keeps stalking you. In Hell, every LEC game uses the GB and FC and RA engines. In Hell, there's no socialistic left party (no, wait, that'd be like calling the United States Hell, which it's definetly not). In Hell, the grade range is 0-69 and they torture you when you get a grade below a 70.
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