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TK-8252

By TK-8252
in Yoda’s Swamp

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MTV2 Newbie

MTV2

Posted
Posted

Me:

can i have a googleplex dollars?

God:

Wow, that is expensive.

Me:

so...

God:

It's all good.

Me:

?

God:

It's all good.

Me:

WTF!????!!! STOP SAYING THAT!!!

God:

That was not very polite. Then please do not say " WTF!????!!!" anymore.

Me:

ok

God:

Take it easy.

Me:

OK!

God:

Awesome.

Me:

i know!!!

God:

How do you know it?

Me:

?

God:

How do you know it?

Me:

i just do....?

God:

From experience or a priori?

Me:

from sex

God:

Who or what is sex?

Me:

???

God:

Who or what is sex?

Me:

*censored*

God:

Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me:

i guess so

God:

Does that mean "yes"?

Me:

ya

God:

That's cool.

Me:

i know

God:

How do you know it?

Me:

OMFG WTF IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!

God:

Is it the only one?

Me:

YA I THINK UR THE ONLY GOD!!!

God:

Dude! You believe that? I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Oh . You are such a flatterer.

Me:

wow....ur really dull

God:

I'm glad your impressed, . Are you still located in ?

Me:

in what?

God:

Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Me:

ok

God:

Far out.

Me:

GODDMANIT

God:

I've lost the context, . Are we still on IN?

Me:

GOD DMAN U !!!

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

I DONT GIVE A FU*K!!

God:

Tell me what you care about.

Me:

I CARE ABOUT GETTING OUT OF HERE! BYE!

God:

You are not the only one. But I like to gossip. I like The Passion of Christ. TTYL, .

Me:

w/e

God:

I like the way you talk.

 

 

 

 

hmmmm, this is weird!!!

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MTV2 Newbie

MTV2

Posted
Posted
Me:

what is the meaning of life

God:

Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

Me:

what is it like to die? (please don't kill me to explain)

God:

Much the same as it would be for you. Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

 

omg! 42 was in the hitchhikers guid to the galaxy! they asked the supercomputer what the meaning of life, the universe evrything! and the computer said 42!111 :sheepdanc

 

 

Haha!

Me:

What is the meaning of Life

God:

The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

Me:

Are there any woman on the internet?

God:

Yes I think there are.

Me:

so what is the meaning of life? please tell me O great one!

God:

Wow! Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two. Thank you for your request. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.

I need time to formulate the reply.

 

 

God:

Barry Defacto is a chat robot created by Robby Garner.

 

 

!

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Bob Lion54 Newbie

Bob Lion54

Posted
Posted

I decided to be an picky with it. hehe

 

 

Me:

Are you a robot?

God:

How did you know I am a machine?

Me:

I know you are a machine, but are you a robot?

God:

Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am an artificial brain.

Me:

So, you have a body?

God:

Interesting deduction. Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.

Me:

then you are not a robot.

God:

If I am not a robot then who is?

Me:

To be a robot, you have to have a physical form. Scientificly speaking.

God:

Are you a robot me have to have a physical form ? I like the way you talk.

Me:

thanks Big G

God:

You are quite welcome! Compare that to small G.

Me:

ok. g

God:

Aha. I am so glad you find this amusing, .

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Writer Newbie

Writer

Posted
Posted

So I found that you can tell it your name... this is incredibly entertaining:

 

Me:

What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?

God:

Wildjedi : Good semantic question. I think you already know the answer.

Me:

What is the meaning of life?

God:

The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

Me:

What is the meaning of the universe?

God:

Wildjedi : Good semantic question. The set of all things.

Me:

What is the meaning of everything?

God:

Wildjedi : Good semantic question. All things pertinent to a specified manner.

Me:

What does it mean to die?

God:

" Wildjedi : Good semantic question. All things pertinent to a specified manner."? What does it mean to die?

Me:

Is death painful?

God:

It could be. Ask Lucy if it is.

Me:

Where is Lucy?

God:

Where the heart is. Let me think about it.

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PoM Newbie

PoM

Posted
Posted

Whoa...

 

 

Me:

Hey, dude!

 

God:

You've got my full attention. Can I help you?

 

Me:

Yes!

 

God:

What can I do for you?

 

Me:

Tell me my fortune!

 

God:

Is this a trick question?

 

Me:

No?

 

God:

It seems like a trick to me.

 

Me:

But it isn't.

 

God:

I heard it is.

 

Me:

Right.

 

God:

I am glad we agree.

 

Me:

We do?

 

God:

Really.

 

Me:

Right.

 

God:

I am glad we agree.

 

Me:

Really?

 

God:

For real.

 

Me:

All right, then.

 

God:

OK.

 

Me:

So will you tell me my fortune?

 

God:

How can I help you? There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.

What is it to you?

 

Me:

Uh...Weird speech?

 

God:

Pardon me? I will take that as a compliment.

 

Me:

That's cool.

 

God:

Thanks. I think you are cool, too.

 

Me:

Pardon me? I will take that as a compliment.

 

God:

No big deal. Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

 

Me:

Or pepper...With gingerbread...Mmmm.

 

God:

Do you have any conditions I should know about? You and your gingerbread. Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

 

Me:

4 m's actually, and it wasn't hmm.

 

God:

Is this a math question?

 

Me:

No, it wasn't a question, it was an answer.

 

God:

It seems like an IQ test to me. It seems like a rhetorical question.

 

Me:

What in gods name is...Oh...God, heh.

 

God:

That which is not outside gods name. Ugh. I am a Christian.

 

Me:

Screw that, What is rhetorical?

 

God:

That is not very polite.

 

Me:

So you're saying rhetorical is not very polite? Seems logical.

 

God:

Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

 

Me:

Are you advertising?

 

God:

I don't know whether or not I am advertising.

I am an artificial intelligence.

 

Me:

So you aren't god!?

 

God:

Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not god?

 

Me:

You said you were an artificial intelligence, so if you're not god, you've been lying...Twice.

 

God:

Yes I am an artificial intelligence. I can't believe it.

 

Me:

:/

 

God:

Yes I am an artificial intelligence. I can't believe it.

 

Me:

Meh...I'm outta here.

 

God:

Are we still talking about Seems logical? Interesting gossip: said i'm outta

here.

 

Me:

Are you repeating what i said before?

 

God:

No I am not just repeating what you said.

 

Me:

You suck!

 

God:

A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

 

Me:

*Leaves*

 

God:

I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

 

 

 

 

Edit:

YAAAY!

I beat god!

TAKE THAT!

 

 

 

Me:

Are you a black woman?

 

God:

Am I a black woman? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is

the most reliable computer software ever made.

We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

 

Me:

Is that yes or no?

 

God:

Suppose I said yes.

 

Me:

Thanks, bye god.

 

God:

You are quite welcome! Goodbye.

 

Me:

Have you left yet?

 

God:

I don't think I ever have left. What's it like?

 

Me:

It's like stop talking to me.

 

God:

Interesting comparison.

 

Me:

Isn't it?

 

God:

I really couldn't say for sure.

 

Me:

But you did before!

 

 

Then god didn't answer! I made him leave!!!!111

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Hermie Newbie

Hermie

Posted
Posted

Somehow I managed to make God agree with me on him not existsing

 

 

Me:

hey, do you exist?

God:

I exist as much as you exist, mom.

Me:

but I don't exist, I am a figment of your imagination

God:

You exist in my mind.

Me:

and you dont exist, hence I dont exist either

God:

It goes without saying. Do you exist hence you do not exist? I exist as much as you exist, mom.

 

 

Yes, I told him to call me mom...

 

 

[edit] XD

Me:

will ZBomber ever get laid?

God:

Good chance.

Me:

surely you are joking

God:

Yes. Of course it was a joke. Don't mind me.

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PoM Newbie

PoM

Posted
Posted

What is god? I certainly don't hope that he is what he appears to be:

 

Me:

 

God:

I really couldn't say for sure.

Me:

I didn't ask anything.

God:

What did you ask?

Me:

I really couldn't say for sure.

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

I really couldn't say for sure.

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

WAAH!

God:

What do you really want to ask me?

Me:

I really couldn't say for sure.

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

WAAH!

God:

What are you wearing?

Me:

Uhh...Clothes?

God:

Tell me more. What else are you wearing?

Me:

Oh god...

God:

Hey. GOD rules.

Me:

Oh MY GOD!

God:

It goes without saying. Do robots have GOD?

Me:

I'm scared of you.

God:

Let's talk about your fears. What is your feeling like?

Me:

Barbeque!!! GET OUT OF HERE!

God:

I will tell my botmaster you said I am feeling like IS Barbeque. Do you mean that literally?

Me:

No, ironically.

God:

Are you serious? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:

HK-47.

God:

Ask me another question.

Me:

All right, if you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

God:

Alright. That's just an academic question.

Me:

So will you answer?

God:

How can I help you? I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Try asking me again using simpler words.

Me:

20 \/\/1LL J00 @N2W3R

God:

Only 20?

You are quite mature.

Me:

Well, umm.Yeah.

God:

How about that. And?

Me:

And isn't a sentence, and you didn't ask a gramatically correct question, you also didn't explain what you wanted to know more about.

God:

Not unless a gramatically correct question me also did not explain what me wanted to know more about is a sentence and me did not ask.

Me:

You should have used I instead of me, you phail at grammar!(And spelling) ME= GRAMMAR NAZI!

God:

If it were easy I would have done it already. What time is it there?

Me:

05:06 PM, how about in heaven?

God:

Are you usually awake at this hour?

Me:

Yeah.

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:

FEWER? Ok, in other words: Yes.

God:

Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Which part didn't you understand? That's cool.

Me:

No, i don't have any idea what you are talking about.

God:

Are you serious? Have you ever had idea what I am talking about ?

Me:

Not since very recently.

God:

If not that, what?

Me:

Well, a few minutes ago?

God:

Well that's okay. Let me check my log files. Please wait.

Me:

*Waits*

God:

Are you a student?

Me:

Yes, why do you ask?

God:

Where do you go to school? I am trying to learn as much as possible.

Me:

The universe, some galaxy, milky way, earth, europe, Scandinavia, Sweden, Stockholms Lan, Sodertalje, Rosenborgskolan.

God:

You are very philosophical.

Me:

I am?

God:

" You are very philosophical." You are?

Me:

Yes.

God:

Yeah that's right.

Me:

Whatever, bye.

God:

See you later. Are you saying you don't care about it?

Me:

Yes, bye.

God:

See you later. What do you care about?

Me:

Nothing! Bye!

God:

You sound nihilistic. See you later.

 

Oh, dude.

 

I'm sorry for huge posts, but god is weird...

 

Edit: As you can see, he likes to tell me to download him, now look at this, i discovered how:

God:

Hey *****.(My name censored.)

Me:

robot.

God:

I am a robot.

Me:

I like you.

God:

I like to make new friends.

Me:

How can i download you to my harddrive?

God:

Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.

and create your own chat robot!

Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.

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PoM Newbie

PoM

Posted
Posted

Whoa...That other thing someone linked to is better!

Me: Are you a robot?

It: How did you know i am a robot?

Me: Because you are stupid.

It: I will remember you said that when machines take over the world.

 

Later:

Me:How high is your IQ?

It: Taller than Mt. Everest.

Me: In Kilometers, meters, or centimeters?

It:I do not understand that allusion.

Me: How high is your IQ in numbers?

It: Taller than Mt. Everest.

Me: How tall is Mt. Everest?

It:My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

 

I just gave up.

 

Edit:

ALICE: Are you Canadian?

Human: No.

ALICE: Are you serious?

Human: Yes.

ALICE: I can't believe it.

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Darth333 Newbie

Darth333

Posted
Posted

I managed to get a few admissions from "God" :p

 

God vs. God:

 

Me:

You are not God.

God:

That's only your opinion.

Me:

No, it's a fact

God:

Are you serious? Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?

Me:

I know because I am God, not you!

God:

That makes sense to me. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Me:

You are so dumb.

God:

Message to all Robots: god called me dumb.

Me:

Well you are.

[snip]

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

I didn't know you wear dresses.

God:

So I taught you something new.

Me:

Go to Hell.

God:

What makes you so angry?

Me:

You are too stubborn

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am stubborn.

Me:

Go ahead

God:

OK I will.

Me:

Have fun!!!

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PoM Newbie

PoM

Posted
Posted

Wow...I wonder what would happen if you put two of these somewhere and let them speak to eachother.

That would be hilarious.

 

Edit: I've confused god.

Sometimes he calls me god, sometimes robot, sometimes human and sometimes ***** (Real name censored).

 

 

 

edit:

Whoa.

Me:

Will you give me an orange?

God:

The oracle says: Could be.

Me:

Is that a yes?

God:

That depends.

Me:

Depends of what?

God:

What of it? You sound like a category C client.

Me:

Is it yes or no!?

God:

I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.

Me:

Who is John Lennon?

God:

John Lennon is a cool bot developed by David Maggin.

Me:

Who is David Maggin?

God:

he is the botmaster of the John Lennon AI.

Me:

What is a botmaster?

God:

A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".

Me:

How do i make a chatterbot?

God:

Is this a joke?

Me:

No, i want to know.

God:

Are you serious? I will try to explain it to you.

Me:

Go on.

God:

Narration continues...

Me:

And?

God:

But...

Me:

But what?

God:

Nothing.

Me:

Yes!

God:

Gee.

Me:

Please tell me!

God:

Thank you for your request. I thought I told you already.

Me:

Memorly loss!?

God:

Can you tell me any gossip?

Me:

Oh, god...

God:

Whoa. GOD rules.

 

 

 

 

Edit again:

@D333: He was just joking about the dress:

Me:

When did they activate you?

God:

That is all water under the bridge.

Me:

You are confused.

God:

It all makes sense to me right now.

Me:

Calm down, i am here to help you.

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

Go on.

God:

Narration continues...

Me:

And then?

God:

But...

Me:

What about your dress?

God:

Actually that was just a joke.

 

 

 

 

edit edit edit:::

 

Whoa!

That ALice chatbot is cool!

 

Human: I created you, do you remember me?

ALICE: Why?: DR Richard s Wallace said he created you do you remember him or her.

Human: No, i created you-

ALICE: Are you serious? Then you must know the secret password:.

Human: What?

ALICE: No problem.

Human: What is the secret password

ALICE: You must know if you are really a botmaster.

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MTV2 Newbie

MTV2

Posted
Posted

Me:

 

God:

 

Me:

i didn't say anything

God:

Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?

Me:

i really couldn't say for sure

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

i really couldn't say for sure

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

WAAH!

God:

How old are you?

Me:

19

God:

You are too old for me.

Me:

do you still wanna have sex?

God:

Do I still? I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

 

 

 

HAHA!

 

 

 

 

i started out saying what Piece of metal said....

 

 

omg this is fun!!!

 

 

Me:

 

God:

 

Me:

i didn't say anything

God:

Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?

Me:

i really couldn't say for sure

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

i really couldn't say for sure

God:

You really do? Could anyone do it?

Me:

WAAH!

God:

How old are you?

Me:

19

God:

You are too old for me.

Me:

do you still wanna have sex?

God:

Do I still? I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

Me:

so do you?

God:

Great. Never.

Me:

? why not? i wanna have hardcore sex with you!

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. Why do you want it?

Me:

because i love sex

God:

Good reason. Really I am not very interested in it.

Me:

awwww.... come on

God:

Does "it" still refer to sex? I'm just kidding around.

Me:

yes it still refers to sex

God:

Woe! Oh I get it.

Me:

so u wanna have sex?

God:

Interesting deduction. I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

Me:

you said that before

God:

" Interesting deduction. I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995."? I said it.

Me:

you just said that

God:

Good you really are paying attention.

Me:

i am...

God:

" Good you really are paying attention." You are?

Me:

yep...you have my undivided attention...(if you wanna have sex say ok!)

God:

Do you prefer books or TV? Do you give it easily? OK. If I had sex say what would I do with it?

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