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Why do we want what we can't have?


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(Not sure if this was serious enough for Kavar's Corner.)

 

I just recently found out one of my good friends doesn't like me "that way" now. I never shared her feelings, but since I found out, I want her badly. But I like this other girl.

 

Sometimes, I hate life. :D

 

Any opinions on the topic?

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(Not sure if this was serious enough for Kavar's Corner.)

 

I just recently found out one of my good friends doesn't like me "that way" now. I never shared her feelings, but since I found out, I want her badly. But I like this other girl.

 

Sometimes, I hate life. :D

 

Any opinions on the topic?

 

Aww... Jebus in wuv! :D:D :xp:

 

You could always tell her...

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Hmm.... well whatever you do, don't try to double-date them... that never turns out well.... Just look at the 'Kill Bill movies'... :xp:

 

I suggest to wiegh the odds, and find out which one you like more, and which one likes you more... Also, I'd suggest basing your decision on someone you agree with on a lot of things, not just on looks. :D

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Although...many relationships start from friendship, after you get to know eachother for a while. After a while, like Arcesious said, you could look at which one is 'the one' for you.

 

Also, don't 'play' them against eachother, that's just wrong. :)

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Welcome to 'friendsville'. Population: you.

 

If you never had these feelings until you found out that you couldn't/shouldn't have them, odds are that this is an infatuation that you really shouldn't dwell on, lest it become a full blown, long lived, stalker type situation.

 

For now it's best if you just enjoy her as a friend, pursue this other girl that you like and move along with life.

 

 

For further council, I suggest you start listening to Journey. Don't say I never did anything for you.

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Lust isn't.

 

No, but it often leads to extasy, followed by a LOT of agony. :xp:

 

Also, keep in mind that the first girl is someone you still think of as a friend. Cross the line to "w/benefits", so to speak, and that friendship might end up withering on the vine. Besides, you're still in HS, right? Don't stress yourself needlessly. Leads to acne and desperation....coolness killers. ;)

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Also, keep in mind that the first girl is someone you still think of as a friend. Cross the line to "w/benefits", so to speak, and that friendship might end up withering on the vine.

QFT.

Besides, you're still in HS, right? Don't stress yourself needlessly. Leads to acne and desperation....coolness killers. ;)

Funny. I thought that not having a girl leads to acne. :xp:

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RHETT wins. Thank you, I'll be laughing that one off for a while.

 

Jebus: I would say here that what you're after isn't really this girl but the "like" that she had for you. Ok, so you want the experience of a relationship. The most fulfilling relationships develop naturally over time; as Rett says you shouldn't focus on your feelings for this (first) person. If you "like" someone else maybe you should spend your time developing that friendship instead. In the event you become close it could grow into more than friendship.

 

Who knows? Life leads us to love in strange ways. Someone you hate now could end up your wife in 10 years!

 

AAH L'AMOUR!

 

F

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For further council, I suggest you start listening to Journey. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Better advice has not been given on this forum. The nitpick I have with your selection Boba Rhett is the version of Journey you chose. Why go with the new, when you can get aged and proven. Journey with Steve Perry. I’ll even go with a more appropriate Journey video –I’ll Be Alright With You
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lolz... I was all ready to give a detailed exposition rant about societal conditioning within a capitalist value set, and instead this thread is about 'girl troublez'

 

The new blog feature would be perfect for this type of stuff

 

my advice: if she doesnt care, neither should you. Move on. Put your energies into your studies/work/hobbies, and people who genuinely value you.

 

There really are plenty o women in the world. Why get hung up on one that doesnt care about you :lol: [/sage advice from an old man]

 

mtfbwya

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If you never had these feelings until you found out that you couldn't/shouldn't have them, odds are that this is an infatuation that you really shouldn't dwell on, lest it become a full blown, long lived, stalker type situation.

Amen.

 

These may be of interest (yeah, just wiki articles...I'm too lazy to find anything better :p):

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_sickness

 

And no, it's not a crock, even if it sounds like it is. ;)

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I never shared her feelings, but since I found

out, I want her badly.

 

This is lust.

 

But I like this other girl.

 

And this could be love.

 

You know my vote. It might take longer, but it's more rewarding in the end. As for the first girl - it seems your time has come and gone. It's time to move on and go for the second girl.

 

_EW_

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When you say "want" her, what exactly do you mean?:/ If you never felt anything for her before, why start now? Is it a feeling of "omg i've missed the chance of a lifetime cwy cwy boo hoo hoo" or is it "might have been, but now we'll never know" or something entirely different?

 

Anyway, you're still far too young to get seriously emotionally attached (or at least without generating lots of angst:/). I reckoned that I was fairly mature at that age, but I knew I still had a lot of growing up to do, and I was right.

 

And no, generally people who are all ":D:D:D" right after declaring they hate life don't have much of an effect :lol:

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No, no, no. It ain't love. I just want her to like me again, even though I never shared he feelings. And I'm to young to "love". Going on 15 in just over a week, I'll rather wait till 18 to start loving someone :D

 

I just wanted to know what you guys thought about "wanting what you can't have", not to "focus" on "my problem". I'll get over it in a few days.

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I'll rather wait till 18 to start loving someone :D

It ain't easy even then. :xp:

 

I just wanted to know what you guys thought about "wanting what you can't have", not to "focus" on "my problem". I'll get over it in a few days.

Hmm...I see. Well, I guess it depends on the person. For instance, when I've found myself wanting something I can't have in the past, more often than not it was because I was looking for a challenge to overcome. Yeah, I'm crazy, aren't I? :D

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I haven't met anyone who wants to have the IQ of George Bush though. Hm.

What about George Bush? :xp:

 

Hmm...well, I can think of one reason (other than the one I mentioned earlier): self-deprivation. But that's obvious, isn't it? Some people get off on being deprived of something (just like some get off on depriving others). Don't know why; even I'm not that crazy. :p

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