Astor Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Story. A group of researchers in Canada have carried out an excercise analysing the threat that Zombies would pose to the world if they existed. In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win? In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often". They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble." Interesting stuff. I hope everyone has their survival plans in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies. Clearly, this Robert Smith? is a man of intellectual bravado. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynk Former Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 http://www.theonion.com/content/video/are_violent_video_games Don't worry, we'll be ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trench Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Do my knives need to be silver or somethin? What if I wear garlic? I'll also play banjo music real loud and stuff. I AM READY!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salzella Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 lulz who funds this stuff. probably an eccentric billionaire looking for kicks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mono_Giganto Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Guess I better get my crossbow out of storage.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingerhs Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 ^^^^ Mono!!! long time, no see man. great to see your leapin' monkey self. [/offtopic] this is why we just need to invest in Valve. they're the ones giving us all the training tools necessary for our survival. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gurges-Ahter Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) Does the included ? mean you have to raise the inflection of your voice when saying the end of his name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Guess I better get my crossbow out of storage.... Crossbow?! I'll stick with my trusty 12 gauge 3 1/2" magnum loaded with 00 buckshot and using a super-full choke. I won't just shoot them in their heads; I will disintegrate their heads. Oh, and welcome back, M_G. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 lulz who funds this stuff. probably an eccentric billionaire looking for kicks. Ohohoho, no. This kind of crap will be wasting tax-payers' money, don't you worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mono_Giganto Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 ^^^^ Mono!!! long time, no see man. great to see your leapin' monkey self. Hey stinger! Good to see you're still around here! Crossbow?! I'll stick with my trusty 12 gauge 3 1/2" magnum loaded with 00 buckshot and using a super-full choke. I won't just shoot them in their heads; I will disintegrate their heads. Oh, and welcome back, M_G. Rookie mistake. Shotguns are great as distractions, or when backed into a corner, but you're far better off with weapons that don't alert other zombies to your presence. After all, what good is a weapon that attracts two more zombies for every one you kill? Thanks for the (re)welcome though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 this is why we just need to invest in Valve. they're the ones giving us all the training tools necessary for our survival. Exactly. Everyone should know how to properly use a crowbar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Ohohoho, no. This kind of crap will be wasting tax-payers' money, don't you worry. Riding through the devastated plains of Liverpool, I will be perched atop a T80 tank and I will see a hapless egyptologist shouting for help against an incoming horde of zombies and I'll look up to him and say "No." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salzella Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 liverpool's plains are already devastated. no-one would notice a zombie invasion in liverpool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mav Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I'd stand behind Jeff. His unlimited sense of self worth would protect me from any nuclear fallout. zombies. Different situation, same solution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsGonnaOwnSatan Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Metal Storm pistols and rifles. Katanas, if they get close. And i would go watch every episode of Man vs. Wild. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Te Je'karta Mand'alor Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 you know guys i am legend comes to mind here. thet suppedly found a cure for stomach cancer...in the same year as i am legend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandalore The Shadow Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Ohohoho, no. This kind of crap will be wasting tax-payers' money, don't you worry. Your the kind of person that will get us all killed when the Zombies come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth InSidious Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Your the kind of person that will get us all killed when the Zombies come And you are the kind of person who makes me wish they would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litofsky Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Let's see how a horde of zombies fares against nuclear weapons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Te Je'karta Mand'alor Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 And you are the kind of person who makes me wish they would. or maybe he's secretly the one who will kill us... he's working undercover! SHOOT HIM!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Rhett! Get Julie and Zeke! Tell them Dr. Tongue has returned for a rematch! It's ZOMBIES ATE MY NEIGHBORS--RETURN OF DR TONGUE! We will not only encounter zombies but: Lagoon fish creatures Mummies Chainsaw maniacs Tommy the Evil Doll Count Vlad Belmont the vampire Martians Martian motherships Gigantic 40 ft. tall babies Giant ants and Giant Red ants (car sized) Red Fern Weeds Weed mother "glop shooters" Frankenshocker Horrendous Red Blobs Werewolves (rumor has it tourists have been bitten so stay away after dark) And the evil doctor himself taking 2 forms: Giant Spider (similar to the one in gremlins, but hairy) Giant head Everybody, make sure in order to save your neighbors from Dr Tongue, you have the following in your arsenal: Weapons: Squirtgun uzi Silverware Plates Tomatoes weedwhacker Fire extinguesher popsickles Soda 6 packs footballs Ancient Artifact If you're lucky enough to commondere these Bazooka Alien Bubble-Ray-Gun Skeleton Keys Skull Keys Items: First Aid kit Laughing'n'rocking Clown inflatables SuperDuper Speedy Sneakers On the way: Blue "ghost" potion "Mystery" potion Red "Purple SuperBeast" potion Should you happen to find Pandora's Treasure Box Let's see how a horde of zombies fares against nuclear weapons. BUT SIR?! Didn't they cut our defense funding?! Where'd you find one of these left over?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForeverNight Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 SAC has still got more than a couple thou of those left I'd imagine.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litofsky Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 BUT SIR?! Didn't they cut our defense funding?! Where'd you find one of these left over?! You, sir, obviously haven't consulted with our Soviet comrades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Avlectus Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 HQ! I'm gonna need some Maverick Hunters to take out Optic Sunflower at Troia Base! We need that GPS-remote-control-aimed-super gigantic-ultra-mega orbital laser cannon! You, sir, obviously haven't consulted for our Soviet comrades. Wha'dya expect?! I'm just a thug! ...well, ok I have successfully invaded a few military bases, but that's irrelevant now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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