Help Decorate Jae's Walker

[Jae Onasi]

This is the walker which was inflicted upon me by the medical team:

. Admittedly, it is much safer than crutches since it's more stable. I'd lost a fair amount of blood during surgery--not bad enough to need a transfusion, but enough that sometimes I do get woozy and light-headed. The pain meds compound that.

 

Nevertheless, I told the doctor that if he made me use a walker, I would decorate it in a visually obnoxious manner, including, but not limited to, reflective neon Jar-Jar Binks stickers. This is because walkers make me feel like I have way more 'life experience' than my permanent 29-ness, and I don't like feeling 'older'. All I need is some life-alert necklace and a Clapper and a white wig and I'd be all set. >.<

 

Being artistically impaired, I need help decorating this thing so I can stand to be around it.

 

Here are the guidelines:

1. It has to be very lightweight.

2. It has to be affordable, preferably as cheap as possible. Free is even better.

3. Cheap and cheesy is awesome.

4. Nothing can go on the handgrips or block the wheels--anything that affects safety can't be used. If I fall, I'm looking at another surgery, which would suck rocks so bad they'd turn into lava.

5. The walker has to go in public, and I have kids, so no naked Orlando Blooms or Chris Pines or assorted other objectionable imagery, sorry.

6. I'll probably be putting a basket or bag on the front bar so I can carry stuff. These could also be decorated.

7. Things that light up/flash, as long as they are very lightweight and battery powered and can be turned off so I can sleep at night, are OK (see caveat 5 above as a reminder).

8. No paint--there's almost no time where I can sit and let it dry for long periods of time. Being artistically impaired, I doubt I could reproduce it anyway.

9. I have plenty of scrapbook stickers in lots of different themes, some Obama trading card stickers, and duct tape in a variety of different colors.

 

Any suggestions are welcome!

[Canaan Sadow]

BESPARKLE IT! Bahaha. Just kidding. Maybe you should show some pride in your country and place your Country's flag somewhere on it... Also you could get some huge bubble letters and write your name on it. (:

[Boba Rhett]

Where are the rear tennis balls?

 

I'd definitely put on some LED turn signal indicators too.

[Canaan Sadow]

OOOH! I JUST SAW YOU HAVE DUCT TAPE! Do you have tye-dyed duct tape? Because if so... you should totally have one side psychedelic.

[Jae Onasi]

Where are the rear tennis balls?

Actually, my new dog would probably try to eat them. He absolutely adores tennis balls.

 

I'd definitely put on some LED turn signal indicators too.

Oooh--good idea--then I can see and be seen at night.

 

@V. Bandit--we've got a number of different duct tape colors at home, but I've never seen tie-dyed before. Not saying there aren't any rolls of that around because there probably are somewhere, but I might not be able to get that.

 

One of my Lotus Fleet buddies suggested rainbow stripes up the legs.

[Sabretooth]

Print this out, paste it on thermocol, paste it on the front of your walker.

 

[RC-1162]

Be careful Jae, I think Sabre's just developed a titanium-knee fetish.

 

Bah, when I read the topic I thought you meant this:

 

@topic: Tie a couple of helium balloons to the front. Your kids are bound to get you some "get well soon" ones I bet.

[Ztalker]

The KITT light in front. Googled it, there are LED sets available.

 

OR, we could collectively (as Lucasforums) call Mr. Xzibit and have him pimp your ride.

[Sabretooth]

Be careful Jae, I think Sabre's just developed a titanium-knee fetish.

 

What can I say? I like women who pack that little something extra.

[RC-1162]

Be careful not to piss her off though. You know how fun a groin-ful of titanium will be

[mimartin]

Mount a set of Longhorns to the front.

 

 

Not only would it be stylish, but it would stop the kids from getting in the way right in front of you. Something a buckeye could never do.

[Darth Avlectus]

Why not make yourself a dream catcher and hang it off the front? maybe tie it to the two bars?

 

Certainly it won't unintentionally catch on stuff like a pair of horns will.

[Astor]

Scythed wheels. Guaranteed to help you through crowds.

[Lynk Former]

@ RC-1162: Exactly what I was thinking too...

 

*fires a tow cable @ jae's walker*

[Pho3nix]

The American flag perhaps?

[Lynk Former]

No, the LFN flag.

[Q]

An alarm that beeps when you walk backwards.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

flame decals.

[Mav]

a bike bell

[Bob Lion54]

a bike bell

 

A bike horn! Much more obnoxious.

[Lynk Former]

A bike horn! Much more obnoxious.

An air horn.... and a cowboy hat

 

[Liverandbacon]

Bolt one of these onto the walker:

 

Then it'll be a flying walker! With 30 mile range, max speed of 60 mph, and can be refueled at a gas station.

 

I suppose $86k doesn't match up with your requirement of affordable though... perhaps you can duct tape some cardboard wings to it and make wooshing noises. Almost as good.

[Astrotoy7]

Jae, send that 2wheel frame back and ask for one of these

 

 

 

mtfbwya

[Tommycat]

Bah, when I read the topic I thought you meant this:

 

 

Someone parked their AT-AT in the wrong neighborhood. They're lucky it's not on blocks.

[Darth_Calo]

instead of an airhorn, why not the horn you hear on tractor trailer trucks. that'll get people moving. out of the way. lol.